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  1. #1
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Men, why do you do this after a first date?

    So I had this date set up with this guy a few weeks ago for that evening. He texted me, but I was busy on another date actually so I didn't have a chance to respond back. Then he called me a few hours after the text. I finally got around to calling him back a few hours later. He called and said he had to cancel our date because he had an emergency at work (he owns his own business - you've probably used one of his products actually). That he wanted to call me instead of text because that was the proper thing to do and didn't want to seem like he was blowing me off because he was, "still very interested" in going out with me, and picked another day.

    The day of the rescheduled date comes around. I'm on my way and I'm 30 minutes out and my car gives out. I send him the video of my car and he offered to come there to pick me up and help fix my car. I tell him I had a tow on the way so he didn't need to pick me up. Later he asked if I was okay and we exchanged a few texts and I eventually didn't respond. The next morning he asked how my car was and if was okay. I thought it was very sweet of him to be so concerned.

    Finally, our date comes around. I was on my way and he sent me a text asking if I was still coming because he said given our track record haha. Again, I thought it was very sweet that he was concerned/worried I was going to bail on me. The date is going well (or so I thought) and I mention this spot in the city that everyone has tried but I haven't. He said yea we've got to go there some time-okay, a good sign? Then later during the date, he turns to me and says, "I enjoy spending time with you". I reciprocated. He found out that I ubered there so he offered me a ride home. I was coming off the curb and he reached out for my hand to help me - very much the gentleman. He drives me home, which was 30 minutes of out his way btw. He gets out of the car, comes to my side, says he wants to do this again and said maybe we can go to that restaurant you haven't tried yet. I said yea sure that would be cool. He comes in to hug me and gives me a peck on the temple. I text him thanks again for the ride home . Then he eventually tells me he got home to which I replied I'm glad he made home safe and he said thank you. I didn't respond after that.

    He texted me two days later asking how my day was going and we texted for a bit, but he didn’t bring up the date.

    So why do this?

    Tl;dr Why say you enjoy spending time with her during date? Make an hour round trip just to drop her off? Why say you want to see her again? Why contact her a day or 2 later?

    Why do that if you’re just not going to follow through with second date? Why not have just kept all those things to yourself after the date and just disappear instead?
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  2. #2
    Registered User IPoopStandingUp's Avatar
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    Yeah a girl has never disappeared on a guy as soon as she lost interest or met someone else. Guys are dicks eh?
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  3. #3
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by IPoopStandingUp View Post
    Yeah a girl has never disappeared on a guy as soon as she lost interest or met someone else. Guys are dicks eh?
    I have never known a woman personally who does all those mentioned above then disappear.

    You’re going to make an hour round trip and the contact her 2 days later, all because...you’re not interested? Makes no sense.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Anachron's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    I have never known a woman personally who does all those mentioned above then disappear.

    You’re going to make an hour round trip and the contact her 2 days later, all because...you’re not interested? Makes no sense.
    ITT, someone learned their actual value.
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  5. #5
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    So ask him for another date?
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  6. #6
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    My dad told me of a story back when he was in high school. It was prom night.

    So he picked up this girl to take her to prom with him. But she kept talking on and on and on.

    After a while, he got annoyed. So what did he do?

    He turned around and dropped her back home.

    Of course, the she got revenge by placing thumbtacks on his seat during a class the next school day.
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  7. #7
    Registered User DarthCholo's Avatar
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    Is this a joke? Seems like a regular blue pilled boy trying to be a gentleman. He probably thinks you're not into him and afraid he will get rejected. It seems like he's doing everything, and you're just going along for the ride for the free dinners and favors.

    Me personally as an old man compared to you two kids wouldn't pursue further without some significant interest from your side. Especially since didn't even kiss on the first date after doing all that nice stuff for you.
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  8. #8
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    My dad told me of a story back when he was in high school. It was prom night.

    So he picked up this girl to take her to prom with him. But she kept talking on and on and on.

    After a while, he got annoyed. So what did he do?

    He turned around and dropped her back home.

    Of course, the she got revenge by placing thumbtacks on his seat during a class the next school day.
    ...ohh...okay lol
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  9. #9
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Am I missing something? How long has it been since the date?
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  10. #10
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Am I missing something? How long has it been since the date?
    Well he went out of town for to meet with some clients. That was last week. He said he’s been busy and we texted here and there a few days ago. The date was 2 weeks ago.
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  11. #11
    Registered User EliasEmmanuel's Avatar
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    Dating as a man is kinda of a hassle. I would never waste massive amounts of money on dates but I get pretty nice ego boost on the submissive role women play around with when I do so. But dates for a man are still a hassle lady. If you really like this guy you can compel yourself to some more cooperative work for going out or spending time together.

    The dynamic for a new date is pretty fun at first but when I feel the date has me physically dry and unsatisfied. I just drop everything at hat
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  12. #12
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by EliasEmmanuel View Post
    Dating as a man is kinda of a hassle. I would never waste massive amounts of money on dates but I get pretty nice ego boost on the submissive role women play around with when I do so. But dates for a man are still a hassle lady. If you really like this guy you can compel yourself to some more cooperative work for going out or spending time together.

    The dynamic for a new date is pretty fun at first but when I feel the date has me physically dry and unsatisfied. I just drop everything at hat


    Right, so why make an hour round trip, say you enjoyed spending time with her, say you want to do it again, and contact her 2 days later??
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  13. #13
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    [/b]

    Right, so why make an hour round trip, say you enjoyed spending time with her, say you want to do it again, and contact her 2 days later??
    Looking to possibly hook up
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  14. #14
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    Looking to possibly hook up
    He didn’t even try to kiss me so I don’t think that’s it. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the temple.
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  15. #15
    Registered User Ariverunsthru's Avatar
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    Why are you waiting for him to ask you on the 2nd date? If you like him, you should ask him out yourself. Also, if a guy went out of his way to drive me home and I was attracted to him, I would’ve made out with him. Show him you’re feelin him, ya know?
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  16. #16
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ariverunsthru View Post
    Why are you waiting for him to ask you on the 2nd date? If you like him, you should ask him out yourself. Also, if a guy went out of his way to drive me home and I was attracted to him, I would’ve made out with him. Show him you’re feelin him, ya know?

    Because, if he was interested enough wouldn’t he have followed through with making plans for the 2nd date?
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  17. #17
    muscular Brahette-Goddess MeFromG's Avatar
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    He is probably busy right know. As long as he is still texting this is a good sign.
    And you could also ask him to meet you.
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  18. #18
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    I think you should not respond to him again, that usually seems to work. You should start not responding to more people in your life. Most people like it when people just ignore them.
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  19. #19
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MeFromG View Post
    He is probably busy right know. As long as he is still texting this is a good sign.
    And you could also ask him to meet you.
    I don’t know. I think he was just being nice about everything. Even offering me ride home and the follow up text.

    I did reach out. He was responsive and there was some teasing/flirting, saying good morning, blah blah blah, and we had some banter for about 2 days That was a few days ago. I saw he had posted that he was working on Saturday and his business has some big project that he plans on revealing Monday/Tuesday. Still no asking for a date though. Hasn’t texted me since Friday.
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  20. #20
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    Not all guys are aggressive. Instead of never replying to him and always waiting, take the initiative. If he’s interested, you’ll know.

    A couple posters said this more or less bit you don’t seem to want to hear it.
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  21. #21
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    No-one here knows the guy any better than you, so it's all guessing. Maybe he's not interested, maybe he has other options, maybe he is super busy right now.

    But you have his actual number so you can hit him up for a date and find out. Or just waste your time and energy wondering and asking complete strangers on the internet to speculate on a person's mindset that they don't know.
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  22. #22
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sunsean View Post
    Not all guys are aggressive. Instead of never replying to him and always waiting, take the initiative. If he’s interested, you’ll know.

    A couple posters said this more or less bit you don’t seem to want to hear it.
    If he was aggressive enough to ask me out, say he enjoyed spending time with me during the date and wanted to see me again, why wouldn’t he be assertive enough to ask again?

    And I did contact him. He didn’t mention a follow up date.
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  23. #23
    Registered User savageoldman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    He didn’t even try to kiss me so I don’t think that’s it. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the temple.
    because if he kissed you on the first date it comes across as to sleazy/desperate

    hes planting the seed and it seems to have worked since you made a thread about him (thinking about him)

    women just lol
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    [/b]

    Right, so why make an hour round trip, say you enjoyed spending time with her, say you want to do it again, and contact her 2 days later??
    Well to me it sounds like basic interest. An hour round trip implies you were easy going and he was feeling good. Contacting after 2 days is legit not a big deal because he already said he wanted to do it again.
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    ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

    why didnt you text him if you are interested still instead of waiting for him?

    whats wrong with him texting to check in on you again? and why does he need to set up a 2nd date RIGHT away? he wants to text a bit, talk and gauge your interest in text..

    the fact that he texted you asking how you are doing after you already met in person is a sign hes into you still. PERIOD.

    Now.. you just have to be a normal human and respond to his texts, make some small talk and if you want to go out again asap.. just mention it or ask "when can we hang out again?" =)

    dont see the point of this post. it sounded like very standard behavior.
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    If he was aggressive enough to ask me out, say he enjoyed spending time with me during the date and wanted to see me again, why wouldn’t he be assertive enough to ask again?

    And I did contact him. He didn’t mention a follow up date.
    wtf is all of this? lmao
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    If he was aggressive enough to ask me out, say he enjoyed spending time with me during the date and wanted to see me again, why wouldn’t he be assertive enough to ask again?

    And I did contact him. He didn’t mention a follow up date.
    If you contact him and he didn't follow up date then yeah he could have low interest. But it could simply be about work stress or some other reason a side from you. Chances of him contacting some other girl is a chance as well but well a decent fellow skips that and it wouldn't be your loss.
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    Originally Posted by Nicklol View Post
    ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

    why didnt you text him if you are interested still instead of waiting for him?

    whats wrong with him texting to check in on you again? and why does he need to set up a 2nd date RIGHT away? he wants to text a bit, talk and gauge your interest in text..

    the fact that he texted you asking how you are doing after you already met in person is a sign hes into you still. PERIOD.

    Now.. you just have to be a normal human and respond to his texts, make some small talk and if you want to go out again asap.. just mention it or ask "when can we hang out again?" =)

    dont see the point of this post. it sounded like very standard behavior.
    Okay, but if he was interested wouldn’t he solidify plans for the next date?

    Any girl that you were genuinely interested in I’m sure you locked another date and did it in a timely fashion.
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    Originally Posted by Nicklol View Post
    wtf is all of this? lmao
    She expects him to make every single move. Pure laziness
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    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    She expects him to make every single move. Pure laziness
    Not true. I contacted him.
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