Why do men always need to talk to women first?

[EctoPlasmic217]

"C'mon...women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that despite the progression women have made in society at large; i.e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc...Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

i remember i saw that on a social media post, very bang on there, but at the same time, that doesn't mean we have to like it.

[devopsengineer]

Completely false. Women make it exceptionally easy if you're very attractive.

So what ugly guys should do?

[Luc1fer]

Because they carry the eggs and have higher parental investment, in our species. Thus, being the selectors.

Less directly, men have higher testosterone and lower fear of rejection. The reason women "signal" subtly, is so that they can't face rejection.

It always has and always will be this way, unless some very strong social force overrides the innate behavior. But forget about it in your lifetime.

[nick5569]

Sounds really cynical but it depends how attractive you are

Quite often when I go out (pre-covid) women would approach me and ask me various questions like "who are you here with?" "Do you go to xyz university?" etc.
sometimes they'll literally just walk up to me and start touching my body or even my face. This is with no initiation from me, literally ignoring all women just trying to drink with my buddies




This never happened when i was at a higher body fat%

[EctoPlasmic217]

Because life, society is not fair OP, never has been and never will be, it's meant to be an injustice.

[Lipee]

The best experiences i had with girls did come from girls that did talk to me first either on person or online.

Dont be another one like every single **** outhere talking to every girl first, and be the one that a girl wants to talk with first.

Once a girl lays her cards first , you are in for a easy ride. Otherwise you are on a numbers game.

[Mr Beer]

Dont be another one like every single **** outhere talking to every girl first, and be the one that a girl wants to talk with first.

LOL "Just be Chad" is the best advice for picking up girls ever.

[EctoPlasmic217]

The best experiences i had with girls did come from girls that did talk to me first either on person or online.

Dont be another one like every single **** outhere talking to every girl first, and be the one that a girl wants to talk with first.

Once a girl lays her cards first , you are in for a easy ride. Otherwise you are on a numbers game.

how about, have you ever had a girl asked you out before? as in, ask you out first? or ask for your number first? but yes, it will always be the only thing i've hated about being born male, some say it could be possibly that i grew up with a dominant mom and submissive dad, or low testosterone, or just its naturally, genetically how you are, because people argue and say that guys, men, are supposed to instinctively, innately, naturally, enjoy and embrace being the ones to approach women, but that has never been the case for me, and i'm sure many other guys worldwide as well.

[EctoPlasmic217]

Because they carry the eggs and have higher parental investment, in our species. Thus, being the selectors.

Less directly, men have higher testosterone and lower fear of rejection. The reason women "signal" subtly, is so that they can't face rejection.

It always has and always will be this way, unless some very strong social force overrides the innate behavior. But forget about it in your lifetime.

so women being more picky, more selective, is what affects their human mating behavior, as to why they normally play a passive role.

[Luc1fer]

so women being more picky, more selective, is what affects their human mating behavior, as to why they normally play a passive role.

You should read this: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evo.../dp/0060556579

[EctoPlasmic217]

You should read this: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evo.../dp/0060556579

i'll give it a look, i feel my perspective, mindset towards dating, relationships, has changed over the years, but it gets annoying when people call it a skillset or learnable skill, its difficult to explain.

[skinnyfat88]

i'll give it a look, i feel my perspective, mindset towards dating, relationships, has changed over the years, but it gets annoying when people call it a skillset or learnable skill, its difficult to explain.

If you're talking about looks, most men can looksmax to a 6+. Sure that won't get you in the door for all scenarios but if you look well put together you def have chances with a fair share of 7.5+'s.

[EctoPlasmic217]

If you're talking about looks, most men can looksmax to a 6+. Sure that won't get you in the door for all scenarios but if you look well put together you def have chances with a fair share of 7.5+'s.

anyway, it always has been and always will be, the only thing i've always hated about being born male

[EctoPlasmic217]

Because they carry the eggs and have higher parental investment, in our species. Thus, being the selectors.

Less directly, men have higher testosterone and lower fear of rejection. The reason women "signal" subtly, is so that they can't face rejection.

It always has and always will be this way, unless some very strong social force overrides the innate behavior. But forget about it in your lifetime.

also, i never understood why men approaching women symbolizes strength in a womans eyes, does it mean that if he is afraid to approach her, does that men he is also afraid to protect her?

[randomuser12345]

It's not about fear of rejection. Even semi-attractive women wouldn't be rejected. But why would they if there are always hundreds of guys hitting on them everywhere.

And you better believe they will hit on you if you are good looking. Is there not enough evidence from dating apps catfishing?

[Luc1fer]

also, i never understood why men approaching women symbolizes strength in a womans eyes, does it mean that if he is afraid to approach her, does that men he is also afraid to protect her?

Yes, if he's afraid of a simple rejection how is he going to compete for resources, protect, and provide?

[EctoPlasmic217]

Yes, if he's afraid of a simple rejection how is he going to compete for resources, protect, and provide?

even though competing for resources, protect and provide is an entire different matter.

Anyway, i read this from a book, the author was a woman, she said this:

"Men’s “Survival Needs”: Production, Reproduction = Survival.

Women’s “Survival Needs”: being protected, being provided, Reproduction = Survival.

So our sexual selection process—and thus our attraction process—is dictated
by our survival goals, whether you believe in evolution or God’s design for us.

And as you can see, women have more “survival goals” or needs than men do. Men were designed to essentially be able to produce and provide on their own, and can protect themselves.

Whereaswomen were designed to need the man for those things. This is why women are a bit more complicated and harder to attract, seduce than men are."

[Luc1fer]

even though competing for resources, protect and provide is an entire different matter.

Anyway, i read this from a book, the author was a woman, she said this:

"Men’s “Survival Needs”: Production, Reproduction = Survival.

Women’s “Survival Needs”: being protected, being provided, Reproduction = Survival.

So our sexual selection process—and thus our attraction process—is dictated
by our survival goals, whether you believe in evolution or God’s design for us.

And as you can see, women have more “survival goals” or needs than men do. Men were designed to essentially be able to produce and provide on their own, and can protect themselves.

Whereaswomen were designed to need the man for those things. This is why women are a bit more complicated and harder to attract, seduce than men are."

Correct, that's exactly why men always seek high fertility markers i.e. youth/age; while women look beyond age and focus on wealth, confidence, status, looks.

[tobistrength]

The more attractive and confident you are the more likely you will be approached more by a woman first. The rest of the picture is how you socialize. Even in nature in general the male animal goes out and selects the female mate. The female approves if they send out signals before they select a partner. We are also living creatures so the same rules apply. The male approaches the female and the female normally either gives signals of approval or the female shows interest first they will show signals. If not find an excuse to talk to you or likely just talks to you they will smile at you or blush and look away a bit. But when you see the signals its up to you to make it flow if you are interested or confident enough. Or most of the time it will take time and effort for a lot of ladies to give in

[EctoPlasmic217]

Correct, that's exactly why men always seek high fertility markers i.e. youth/age; while women look beyond age and focus on wealth, confidence, status, looks.

i got that from a book written by a woman, i'm glad even she herself admitted, that women are more complicated and more difficult to attract, seduce, than men are, as in, what a woman needs to attract a man as compared to what a man needs to attract a woman.

[NealIRC]

It's not about fear of rejection. Even semi-attractive women wouldn't be rejected.

True.

But why would they if there are always hundreds of guys hitting on them everywhere.

Ah this is completely false. Plenty of unattractive guys approach women. This is only true if women are being approached by 10/10 men. You stand out by ignoring women instead.

[Luc1fer]

It's not about fear of rejection. Even semi-attractive women wouldn't be rejected.

False

[EctoPlasmic217]

there are times, whenever i'm in a very bad frustrated mood because of the status-quo of life, reality, that dictates that men are expected to talk to women first or make the first move, that i have thought, in case reincarnation is real, the day i eventually pass away, just like no one lives forever or is immortal, i would like to come back as a different animal, because the mating dance, courtship ritual in other animals, looks a lot more easier or simple, straight to the point, point blank, than it is in humans, no mind games or **** tests, no multiple or several steps involved, it's just 2 males battle it out, and the winner gets the girl, thats it, just simple and quick like that.

[iputyouatapoint]

I’ve noticed that women will not talk to you first thing no matter how good looking you are unless you speak to them first. No matter if it’s being friendly to lead into a friendship let alone dating.

A coworker of mine mentioned to me that a lot a lot of women are his friends at a place we work at which is why they talk to him and not to me but I also made it known that he actually spoke to them first to which he acknowledged.

When did this become a thing or has it always been a thing?

Idk. I usually let them come up to me.

[iputyouatapoint]

Did someone tell you life is fair, my dude? Because if so, sorry to tell you this, but that person lied to you.

Also you’re wrong anyway though guys definitely have to put in more initial work as a rule.

Tehe

[iputyouatapoint]

I’ve noticed that women will not talk to you first thing no matter how good looking you are unless you speak to them first. No matter if it’s being friendly to lead into a friendship let alone dating.

A coworker of mine mentioned to me that a lot a lot of women are his friends at a place we work at which is why they talk to him and not to me but I also made it known that he actually spoke to them first to which he acknowledged.

When did this become a thing or has it always been a thing?

I genuinely don't know. Sometimes I completely literally do not just wait for girls to come up to me, meaning that I sometimes just sit there and eventually, probably 1.6 percent of the time, a girl walks up to me...

at

Unspecified times.

[JustMoved24]

That’s life son

[user3657]

then you get the one's who seem to teleport 2" from you out of know where and say "oh, hai, I was trying to call my friend"

haha. i know its an old thread but this made me laugh. some girl i talked to once or twice(at a bar) before just jumped out of no where while i was shopping. she literately just jumped through the racking out of no where and just stood in the middle of the isle without saying anything hoping and praying i would notice her and say hi. I could of walked away and crushed her ego so bad lol. but we chatted for a good 15mins. I honestly had no idea where she came from or which direction she came from. it was like she fell from the sky and she didnt even say one word. that shows you how weak women how....

[iputyouatapoint]

It's 2 days since I've last posted here, but I still don't know.

[socialanimalus]

I’ve noticed that women will not talk to you first thing no matter how good looking you are unless you speak to them first. No matter if it’s being friendly to lead into a friendship let alone dating.

A coworker of mine mentioned to me that a lot a lot of women are his friends at a place we work at which is why they talk to him and not to me but I also made it known that he actually spoke to them first to which he acknowledged.

When did this become a thing or has it always been a thing?

While your question might be an interesting sociology question, I sense that you are asking it in relation to your dating life and I would like to suggest that in the context of your dating life, this question is irelevent.

If you want to talk to someone, you should be able to. Period. Thats it. The rest are just intellectual distraction from the problem right in front of you. When there is someone next to you and you want to say something, you should want to express yourself to be true to yourself, meeting people is really just a side effect.

You ll enjoy this video about self expression, I believe it might challenge some of your perspectives: