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  1. #1
    Registered User TheNBAisAjoke's Avatar
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    Overseas Relationship?

    Please ignore the red - got negged for having a differing opinion in the Sports Misc - but this is a serious thread.

    Going to the US in a couple of weeks with my brother. His roommate just recently started a relationship so he offered my brother the use of his Tinder gold account - to set the location before we arrive so he can tee up having drinks with people before we get there.

    I thought it was a good idea so I did the same.

    I matched with a few people but then changed my bio to essentially drop some truths, and said i'm not looking for hook ups ideally I'd like to vibe with someone who gives me reason to continually come back every couple of months.

    The next day matched with a girl and we've been talking constantly every day while we're both awake (US & AUS time zones). That was December 28th, literally every girl I speak to over here in Aus we talk and i'm bored and the conversation ends within a week.

    Conversation has never been boring/dull or faded in the near month we've been speaking and we have a whole lot of stuff in common and our view on things (she thinks I'm a Texan living in an Australian's body)

    The plan with my brother was only to have a certain few nights planned out around Texas, and the majority just ending up where the road takes us that day. In that plan would have had two nights seeing her.

    Because we've gotten along so well I've changed some plans and i'll be spending a week with her (assuming we get along just as well in person as we have over the phone)

    My question is, does anyone know of people who have been in long distance relationships? Have they been successful? I decided to not bring up any talk of relationships/asking in depth questions etc until after we had met and we got along (didn't want to come on strong or seem too interested)

    So it surprised me greatly when she started throwing those types of questions at me. "would you be ok with your partner doing this..."

    "What do your friends think about you talking this long with someone who lives overseas?" - her answer to this question was "my dating life has been unconventional so they don't think it's weird"

    Being from the US - she obviously had no idea the difficulties it is to actually live/work there as a foreigner (went to the Army instead of going to Uni which would've made it easier if I had a degree..) and I tried so hard to not detail the only ways I could eventually live there being either winning the green card lottery, or marrying someone over there.

    It ultimately came out and I thought for sure that's where the conversation would end.

    To my surprise things kept humming along without a hitch, and it seems she is completely on board with the potential of having a long distance relationship.

    I am the type of person who throws my phone on my bed once I get home from work and will look at it again when I'm going to bed - so I'm not attached to it and am completely fine not in constant contact - and the different time zones would help with that as well.

    She's just started a new job recently so will obviously be quite busy for the next 6 months learning everything and not have that great amount of free time.

    My plan would be to go back for a week every two months if things progressed positively whilst I was there with her. She mentioned after a year at the company she can nominate to work at an overseas office, and there is one of those in Sydney.

    "That was going to be my first choice even before we started talking!"

    If we saw each other for a week every two months for the next year, then live together for 6 months if she did manage to land the job - that isn't too far out of the realms of possibility right thinking it could potentially work?
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  2. #2
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Sounds like ridiculous over-thinking since you've never met IRL. Start worrying about this stuff after you spend the week with her and find out if she's actually all that.
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  3. #3
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Registered User Fang2's Avatar
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    Long distance relationships don't work. If you wanna do it, just be friends with the girl first, then when you meet... try to make your move then.
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  5. #5
    God save the Queen BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fang2 View Post
    Long distance relationships don't work. If you wanna do it, just be friends with the girl first, then when you meet... try to make your move then.
    Yea OP make sure you get to know her first lol.

    Fang2, why do you say they don't work though? Sometimes they do TBF
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  6. #6
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Didn't read but long distance relationships never work. (been there twice).
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  7. #7
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    They don't work.

    Successful relationships require physical intimacy frequently, let alone just presence of someone.

    Sending texts and video calls aren't enough after a while
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  8. #8
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    You're living a bit of a fantasy life due to the thought of dating someone from somewhere different than you.

    It could work but the odds are against you and I think it's a pretty bad idea to begin with. Much less complex to date local. Also many issues can arise when you connect with someone primarily via your phone rather than in person.
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  9. #9
    Registered User Vertigo5891's Avatar
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    Doesnt work. I get what you mean though. Im in Sydney and i dont date aussies, boring basic bitches, their life story is written on a post-it. Just date a foreigner thats here already. My experience, dated a British bird who was in NZ, moved there and it went to **** straight away but i still had fun while there. And while i was there i met a German girl who went travelling after a while of us dating, didnt work due to distance paranoia 🤷🏿‍♂️
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  10. #10
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