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  1. #1
    Unknown sabonis224's Avatar
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    Having a hard time getting over rejection

    Been out of the game for quite a while; hadn't been on a date in over a year until the other day. Coworker had a friend she had been talking about setting me up with for a while. Finally got the number after much procrastination on her part, texted for a few days, seemed pretty promising. Date went really well, had fun, talked the entire 6.5 hours, lots of smiling and laughing. A lot of characteristics I like. She is shy so was not even remotely considering a kiss, totally fine in my books cause I'm a bit shy as well. Had come up with plans for about 5 days later. 1.5 days later I'm getting the obligatory not ready to date too much goin on text; no second date. I was so excited for a few days, after going so long without having a potential new girlfriend, I'm really have a hard time coping with this for some reason. For one, I thought she was awesome so I'm disappointed. Two, I'm questioning my judgement after feeling like the first date was great, too not go on a second is blindsiding me for sure; we had so much in common and talking just felt so natural. Have you guys ever been totally taken aback by 2nd date rejection? Just basically venting and looking for some stories to read that are relatable.
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  2. #2
    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    either she changed her mind about you or she was already talking to another dude she would rather date.

    Happened to me once in my sophomore year of college. Met a girl in a sociology class, we were hitting it off for weeks, finally went on a date that went great. Texted her very intermittently the day after, then she just ghosted me. Found out from a mutual friend it was because she started dating another dude. such is life brah

    Just keep your head up and keep going man, at least she gave you some BS excuse
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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  3. #3
    Registered User randomuser12345's Avatar
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    It's all about experience. I entered the game only at 26. Firstly was shy to even text on dating apps. Then discovered flakes, stand ups, rejections. Now i'm basicaly can have girl trying to eat my whole face while kissing to just ghost me after. And i would shrug it off like it was nothing.
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    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Don't sweat it.

    My two tips would be:
    1) Go for the kiss.
    2) 6.5 hours is way too long for a first date. Shorten that up. Don't be hanging out for that long until y'all are smashin.
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  5. #5
    Registered User BobbyBench99214's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Don't sweat it.

    My two tips would be:
    1) Go for the kiss.
    2) 6.5 hours is way too long for a first date. Shorten that up. Don't be hanging out for that long until y'all are smashin.
    Bingo to both. Have to leave them with something to think about aka the kiss, and that is way too long, keep it to under 2 hours max.
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  6. #6
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    You put her on a pedestal. You might have come across like you were desperate for it to work. She is just a random woman so don't sweat it.
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  7. #7
    Unknown sabonis224's Avatar
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    In terms of the timing, I didn't have an end game and before I knew it I looked at my phone and it was 6 hours. Kinda thought that was a good thing. Also because of mutual friends I knew she was shy so I never once even thought I'd be going for a kiss. Don't think it was realistic to attempt, I feel like I would've been really forcing that.
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    Registered User dfprodz's Avatar
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    It’s part of the game.

    Sucks but it’s one of the things that will not even phase you in the long run. That’s why you have to see multiple women in the beginning simultaneously and consistently, and as the crazies rear their ugly face, the flakes and ghosts show their cards, the clingy ones get you to block their number, you will eventually narrow down to the top two (or three)

    Seems douchebaggy but it’s effective and practical. Plus you gain experience and fine-tune your delivery in the process.

    Good luck homie
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  9. #9
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sabonis224 View Post
    In terms of the timing, I didn't have an end game and before I knew it I looked at my phone and it was 6 hours. Kinda thought that was a good thing. Also because of mutual friends I knew she was shy so I never once even thought I'd be going for a kiss. Don't think it was realistic to attempt, I feel like I would've been really forcing that.
    There is no downside to going for a kiss at the end of the date if you can do it confidently. If you get rejected just shrug it off and act as if it was no big deal/never happened.

    For the most part you want to end a date on a high note while leaving her wanting to know much more about you (thus thinking about you once the date is over).
    After a 6 hour first date she was probably well beyond ready to call it a night by that point and felt she knew you adequately enough to leave little up to the imagination, not to mention probably felt next to no "spark/chemistry" being you spent 6 hours together without any physical escalation/kiss.
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  10. #10
    Registered User MarioZ93's Avatar
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    Yes date went great. We enjoyed each other company till late night. Still i didn't had much interest in her and was tired as fuk that day so my mood was pretty chill and there were no awkward silences or any red flags. Date was 3 hours i think and than we go our separate ways. No kiss because i didn't feel true chemistry to even try and it felt cringy to even try around so many people around us. Either way i had a feeling that 2nd date would be 100% guaranteed. I text her if she arrived home since it was late and she responds next morning. I think nothing. Few days later since this was on Sunday i text her, get a reply and later nothing. Again text and nothing. I guess she also didn't feel it, but still it feels like a punch in a gut since the date was nearly perfect and chemistry might build up later (at least it works this way for me). Oh well if i ever meet her again i might ask what made her decide to ghost me just to see if i can get reasonable answer. Some way ghosting felt even worse than rejection. Might be because i had my hopes up longer for a stranger
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  11. #11
    Registered User 300BLK's Avatar
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    You probably needed to escalate it to make that experience more sexual for her, for her to know that experience was more promising. That definitely sounds like the primary issue, and then came along she then went on to find someone else, most-likely, that she got that from, another option on her list, which then you failed to be.
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  12. #12
    Registered User Coolman468's Avatar
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    Once you get rejected enough you stop caring, I’ve been rejected soo many times it’s crazy, no second dates, or sudden loss of interest, some I do care but I generally find myself not caring after a day or two. For example last Thursday went on a date with a chick, she was cool, I gave her a peck at the end, she said “is that all” then we went into full blown making out. She asked me right then and there if I wanted to hang out again, I said sure, she texted me later saying she had a great time and was glad to meet me. I replied saying the same. Anyway this Sunday I texted her just asking how she was, no reply at all, do I care? Not at all. I would back when I first got in the game though.
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  13. #13
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    Recently had a date with a girl who studies abroad and we had a pretty good time. I didn't try anything bcz she said she didn't want a bf but I kinda regret that. She seemed like she was willing to make that happen. But yeah. It happens, missed opportunities. If you're having a good time with a girl on first date just try something and if she backs you off then so be it. But if you are sure it's going all well you gotta go for it otherwise she won't see you as a potential partner. Dealing with these females is ass lol but I'm sure this is the way we should go
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  14. #14
    Unknown sabonis224's Avatar
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    Never realized how important you all think it is to kiss the first time meeting someone. Kinda figured a meet up or two first would be more appropriate. This is my first time ever really going on traditional type dates, so I'm very inexperienced. Good to know for future reference.
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  15. #15
    Registered User EliasEmmanuel's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sabonis224 View Post
    Never realized how important you all think it is to kiss the first time meeting someone. Kinda figured a meet up or two first would be more appropriate. This is my first time ever really going on traditional type dates, so I'm very inexperienced. Good to know for future reference.
    I take it back. Just let this bish slide and get another. My first gf I didn't hug or kiss until we were bfs. So yeah, if it ain't ment to be then just let it go. But for sure, if you are having a good time just start with questions about her relationship status, etc. Then suggest kissing her or somethin like that. That's what I'm gonna do. Plus this girl who is abroad checks out my stories of me in the bathroom without a shirt so me not trying to kiss her might have made her ironically more comfortable with me. This girl is probably gonna come back to you some day
    Last edited by EliasEmmanuel; 01-16-2020 at 01:30 PM.
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  16. #16
    Registered User randomuser12345's Avatar
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    what is the point of a kiss if you not gonna smash after. It's jsut a reassurance that you are into her already. After only 1 date, kinda desperate.
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    focus on yourself boyo, don't have any expectations from others and you will never be disappointed.
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  18. #18
    Unknown sabonis224's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ssilv View Post
    focus on yourself boyo, don't have any expectations from others and you will never be disappointed.
    Yeah I'm gonna have to become a little colder that's for sure. I haven't had much rejection in my life; had one 10 yesr relationship followed up by an on again off again thing over the course of a few years. Been single, no contact with any women, full time work full time college for 1.5 yesrs. After a while, this whole work on yourself thing becomes kinda hopeless.
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    Originally Posted by randomuser12345 View Post
    what is the point of a kiss if you not gonna smash after. It's jsut a reassurance that you are into her already. After only 1 date, kinda desperate.
    Yea I agree. All my friends are idiots and don't smash **** I don't know why I even take their advice. Every single girl hung out with I never even mentioned kissing or anything other than casual in the moment convoys and I always get positive feedback afterwards. If you're constantly trying to establish something intimate indirectly it comes off fake as fuk. All these PUAS are retards
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  20. #20
    EDM since way back when Briisk's Avatar
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    It wasn't the lack of a kiss on the first date, that didn't mess anything up. Honestly, a good kiss on the cheek is just as effective imo. 2nd date you got to get the kiss in, though.

    I think what messed it up was the 6 hr date - you probably talked yourself out of a 2nd date.
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  21. #21
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    Lol six hour date? You hustlin backwards cuz, 45min-1 hour max. This broad is not your gf as of yet. No need to spend all this time with her as if she is and you've nothing else going on. I know you've been out the game for awhile and this was bound to happen at some point. Better now than later.

    Also, you could've salvaged something possibly. by telling her you weren't looking for anything too serious either
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    Originally Posted by Coolman468 View Post
    Once you get rejected enough you stop caring, I’ve been rejected soo many times it’s crazy, no second dates, or sudden loss of interest, some I do care but I generally find myself not caring after a day or two. For example last Thursday went on a date with a chick, she was cool, I gave her a peck at the end, she said “is that all” then we went into full blown making out. She asked me right then and there if I wanted to hang out again, I said sure, she texted me later saying she had a great time and was glad to meet me. I replied saying the same. Anyway this Sunday I texted her just asking how she was, no reply at all, do I care? Not at all. I would back when I first got in the game though.
    This x100. Always a mindfuk for a lil bit but then like you said within a few days youre over it. Always hurts a bit but not even close to the first few times. The way of the road bub
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    Registered User randomuser12345's Avatar
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    actually yes, 6 hours date prolly was a turn off for her.
    I'm not very talkative person myself so when date is reaching 3~ hours im just telling girl that im tired and going home. It's funny how they start fidgeting, you can see all their thoughts reflections on faces like "what's going on?didn't he like me? did i say smth wrong?". They are so not used to guys just telling them to get lost. Usually it's same girls that reaching out after date. Not that i'm chad drowning in pussy. Just after so many years of being alone i genuinely don't give a **** about being in relationships or even having sex.
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    Registered User EliasEmmanuel's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by randomuser12345 View Post
    actually yes, 6 hours date prolly was a turn off for her.
    I'm not very talkative person myself so when date is reaching 3~ hours im just telling girl that im tired and going home. It's funny how they start fidgeting, you can see all their thoughts reflections on faces like "what's going on?didn't he like me? did i say smth wrong?". They are so not used to guys just telling them to get lost. Usually it's same girls that reaching out after date. Not that i'm chad drowning in pussy. Just after so many years of being alone i genuinely don't give a **** about being in relationships or even having sex.
    Exacto same here. That's why I say whatever now and don't really give a f about anything else. These broads are work
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    Length of time I've heard quite a bit. Honestly didn't have a real plan, and I totally lost track of time. I even gave her an escape opportunity (we had to walk by her car to out quarters in the meter in order to proceed to the next bar). Conversation just flowed well and wasn't awkward at all so figured it wasn't a factor, guess it could've been in the end. Guess more isn't better like I assumed.
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    guys who cant take rejection are losers
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    Originally Posted by EliasEmmanuel View Post
    I take it back. Just let this bish slide and get another. My first gf I didn't hug or kiss until we were bfs. So yeah, if it ain't ment to be then just let it go. But for sure, if you are having a good time just start with questions about her relationship status, etc. Then suggest kissing her or somethin like that. That's what I'm gonna do. Plus this girl who is abroad checks out my stories of me in the bathroom without a shirt so me not trying to kiss her might have made her ironically more comfortable with me. This girl is probably gonna come back to you some day
    Nah she ain’t coming back, they went on one date lol. Anyway kissing on the first date is overblown on it, I say go for it if the date went good and you can tell she’s expecting it. I’ve been on a lot of dates, I’ve had no problems getting a second date and smashing later even after not kissing on the first date.
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    Originally Posted by Gabrielaxo View Post
    guys who cant take rejection are losers
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    Honestly, i always try and go for the kiss or some sort of physicality. You have to be the man she wants. Tour is over boyo.
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    Only text for making dates, no other bull****.
    And yes, she probably had some other dude on the sideline.

    But it never hurts to think back if you where too eager or something.
    Always try to improve but also remember that it does not have to be that you did something bad.
    Some times they have a different agenda than you.

    It happens to all of us.
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