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  1. #1
    Zero Supplementation TurkBrah's Avatar
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    Small talk and workplace politics

    I suck at both. Any help?

    Like i dont care about peoples personal life, i dont care how their weekend was or how their kids are doing. Whenever someone ask me how was my weekend etc, i realize that I forget to return the question.
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  2. #2
    13/f/cali johnnyboi123's Avatar
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    feels man. You are either good at that **** or you aren't. Used to bother me, but i don't care anymore as long as i'm doing my job right. **** em.
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    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    I suck at both. Any help?

    Like i dont care about peoples personal life, i dont care how their weekend was or how their kids are doing. Whenever someone ask me how was my weekend etc, i realize that I forget to return the question.
    This typically happens with me because I work with older people. No one my age or younger.

    When I used to work with younger people, we could talk about life, university, hobbies. Now it's all just mortgage, kids, and being out of touch entry level employees.
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    time to find a new job srs

    if you're an autist staying at the same job for longer than 2 years is a terrible idea
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  5. #5
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Do you not like the people? Are they close to your age range?
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    phaggot here FingerNailsBrah's Avatar
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    Talk about penis size and stuff.
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  7. #7
    Registered User radrd's Avatar
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    I'm the same way. It helps that most of my coworkers are also introverts that are happy to walk past without saying a word. That said, I try to have questions and answers ready so I can make a decent showing at friendly small talk.

    As far as politics go, I mostly avoid and if anything it's helped my career.
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    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by radrd View Post
    I'm the same way. It helps that most of my coworkers are also introverts that are happy to walk past without saying a word. That said, I try to have questions and answers ready so I can make a decent showing at friendly small talk.

    As far as politics go, I mostly avoid and if anything it's helped my career.
    I think OP meant office politics (the politics in the work environment) which you can't really avoid unless you don't speak to anyone. Not conservative vs liberal politics.
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  9. #9
    Zero Supplementation TurkBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DizzySmalls View Post
    Do you not like the people? Are they close to your age range?
    They are alright. Close to my age too. Just that my brain doesnt work that way.

    You really got to be good at small talk and workplace politics to get promoted and get stellar performance reviews. I get by, but i am not at the level or get the recognition I deserve.

    Doing your work good being successful in what you do doesnt get you anywhere. People do.
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  10. #10
    poonycheaps alt Absthetic's Avatar
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    Best to keep work to workplace related discussion only

    If someone asks how was your weekend? Good
    If someone asks what you did, sleep, gym, chores

    Did you party? Even if you did, say no

    Paint yourself better than others so you can have a better chance at growth
    perhaps sometimes the heaviest things are not the weights we carry but our feels
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  11. #11
    Registered User ocelo7's Avatar
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    This is easy. You just need to talk and ask enough questions until you find something you both connect on and go from there. Ask details and get people taking about themselves.
    /\^/\^Misc Colorado Crew^/\^/\
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  12. #12
    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Absthetic View Post
    Best to keep work to workplace related discussion only

    If someone asks how was your weekend? Good
    If someone asks what you did, sleep, gym, chores

    Did you party? Even if you did, say no

    Paint yourself better than others so you can have a better chance at growth
    This is pretty much it when I talk to people older than me. It's depressing yes, but imagine me talking to someone 30 years older than me about video games, saving money for a down payment, and having a pain in the ass time in college. You would think they could relate with 2 of the three topics, but so far my past co-workers could not relate.
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  13. #13
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ocelo7 View Post
    This is easy. You just need to talk and ask enough questions until you find something you both connect on and go from there. Ask details and get people taking about themselves.
    It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for an autist to find common ground.
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  14. #14
    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    OP what work do you do?

    Depending on your job and industry, you might be working with a bunch of awkward people who can't maintain a conversation.

    One job I was working with a bunch of *******s and there was no way I could relate to any of them or tolerate them. Got out of there real fast.
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  15. #15
    Zero Supplementation TurkBrah's Avatar
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    I guess the main struggle is holding a conversation with senior management. Its not like they aren't approachable, I just dont know how to go about it.

    "hey Chris, good morning"
    "goodmarning turkbrah, how are you?"
    "pretty good, how bout yourself?"
    "not bad, just another tuesday"
    "hehe yeah, awesome"
    "yeah"
    "hehe yeah, alright see ya/have a good day"
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    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    I guess the main struggle is holding a conversation with senior management. Its not like they aren't approachable, I just dont know how to go about it.

    "hey Chris, good morning"
    "goodmarning turkbrah, how are you?"
    "pretty good, how bout yourself?"
    "not bad, just another tuesday"
    "hehe yeah, awesome"
    "yeah"
    "hehe yeah, alright see ya/have a good day"
    A lot of that is on the boss. It's probably best not to venture too far out of basic cringe level conversation with them until they show that they aren't going to **** you. I'm #2 on a team of about 15 and I set the tone to show people that they have nothing to be worried about. #1 is pretty relaxed as well and prone to make an off-color joke as long as it isn't in writing or ear shot of anyone too sensitive.
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  17. #17
    Banned Kiop's Avatar
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    are you introvert
    or just having prolonged stress?

    you may start improving
    many ppl considers not asking
    rude!
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  18. #18
    Zero Supplementation TurkBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DizzySmalls View Post
    A lot of that is on the boss. It's probably best not to venture too far out of basic cringe level conversation with them until they show that they aren't going to **** you. I'm #2 on a team of about 15 and I set the tone to show people that they have nothing to be worried about. #1 is pretty relaxed as well and prone to make an off-color joke as long as it isn't in writing or ear shot of anyone too sensitive.
    I get that. But gotta get the rapport going if you want to advance in your project/account. I for not, can never be the guy who sets a tone, I tend to be the same even to super junior employees. I think that's also another problem.

    ^I am a super introvert..in the beginning but once I open up, I truly do open up. I am always clueless when it comes to conversing with senior management.
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  19. #19
    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    I guess the main struggle is holding a conversation with senior management.
    It sounds like the problem is that senior management isn't open to conversation?

    I know when people walk up to me to talk and I always keep the conversation going.

    When I walk up to higher level people it's up to them to keep the conversation going. Sometimes I can go up to a director and we will talk for 30 minutes. Other times it's only a bye and hello.

    On my end, it really depends if they are people person themselves AND if they have the time to talk.
    Last edited by AccountingMajor; 01-11-2020 at 06:51 PM. Reason: Grammar
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  20. #20
    Zero Supplementation TurkBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AccountingMajor View Post
    It sounds like the problem is that senior management isn't open to conversation?

    I know when people walk up to me to talk and I always keep the conversation going.

    When I walk up to higher level people it's up to them to keep the conversation going. Sometimes I can go up to a director and we will talk for 30 minutes. Other times it's only a bye and hello.

    On my end, it really depends if they are people person themselves AND if they have the time to talk.
    Well if its the senior management is the problem, could they care less about talking to me? They probably prefer to keep it shorter than longer..I feel like I need to initiate and break the ice and show my "colors"..?
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  21. #21
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    i have a part time job atm that i don't give a chit about so i don't bother with the office politics and small talk. just let them do all the talking and ask a couple questions here and there, it's annoying but whatever. also don't tell them chit about your life.

    i work with a range of ages 22-60 and older women can fukn talk for days, bless them, i don't mind half heartedly listening about their grandkids and chit but when they start pulling out facebook pictures..ugh. but the younger ones are like me and can just work in silence or have decent conversations.

    office gossip can be juicy af sometimes though ngl, one of my co workers is in his 40s and he's marrying another co worker who's my age, 23. he's leaving his wife for her and getting his vasectomy reversed so they can have kids lmfao. he already has a son that's older than his fiancee. inb4 son fuks stepmum.
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    I get that. But gotta get the rapport going if you want to advance in your project/account. I for not, can never be the guy who sets a tone, I tend to be the same even to super junior employees. I think that's also another problem.

    ^I am a super introvert..in the beginning but once I open up, I truly do open up. I am always clueless when it comes to conversing with senior management.
    OP I am an ISTJ. After work if I talked a lot, my brain gets fried.

    You gotta stop being that guy to your juniors otherwise they will think you are an *******. Think about it, if your lower level team likes you and talk with you a lot, senior management might hear your people skills, and in turn they will want to talk with you.
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  23. #23
    Registered User AccountingMajor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SomaliGirl View Post
    i have a part time job atm that i don't give a chit about so i don't bother with the office politics and small talk. just let them do all the talking and ask a couple questions here and there.
    I notice that people are lot more talkative with new girls than new dudes.

    When I first joined the team, no one bothered to even learn my name lol. This eventually changed over time.

    When the new girl arrived everyone was introducing themselves and asking her about hobbies. Even my supervisor at the time who doesn't talk to anyone, decides to shoot the **** with her. She was already best friends with everyone on the first day.
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    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    ^I am a super introvert..in the beginning but once I open up, I truly do open up. I am always clueless when it comes to conversing with senior management.
    learn a soft skill
    like asking or
    reacting MAY help
    you in expanding your
    connections later on thus
    i would advise you to think
    in joing a softskill workshop
    or a group to help you react
    properly in your job...srs

    hence, alot of talk in job
    brings headache...
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    AccountingMajor is offline
    Originally Posted by TurkBrah View Post
    Well if its the senior management is the problem, could they care less about talking to me? They probably prefer to keep it shorter than longer..I feel like I need to initiate and break the ice and show my "colors"..?
    This is why there are professional networking events. Typically (hopefully) the people there are willing to talk. I've had both good and bad experiences.

    At work, if someone doesn't want to talk to you no matter what. It's on them, sometimes there is nothing you can do about it.

    It's like talking to a cute girl you want to ask out, if she isn't interested then nothing will happen. Same idea with senior management, some will like you, some will not.

    Unless you are saying all of them hate you, then there might be a problem there.

    Worst case scenario just barge in what you did on the weekend after you begin small talk.
    "I took a 4 hr road trip on the weekend"
    That's cool turkbrah.
    "I stopped by Los Angeles and saw a car show"
    How was it?
    "It was cool because I saw this old piece of crap that I really want to own someday. Do you ever go out on road trips?"

    Just do that crap if the conversation isn't developing naturally.
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    I’m bad at this too OP but improving.

    I get a lot of FaceTime with execs. One time our CFO joked that I went wayyyyyy too into the weeds after a meeting when I was describing some process to our CEO in a meeting (I guess everyone cringed, that feel man)

    Since then I’ve been able to take a step back and only share when needed. For management I try to be as receptive as they are when it comes to talking. Good rapport with more junior employees we all shoot the chit.

    I grew up poor-ish so not like I was able to pick up on these habits from successful parents or friends in school. Getting better every day tho, just develop that self awareness SRS
    Posts are for fun, not to be taken seriously or as truth.
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    Religion and politics are two subjects that you really should keep out of the workplace.
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    Originally Posted by AccountingMajor View Post
    I notice that people are lot more talkative with new girls than new dudes.

    When I first joined the team, no one bothered to even learn my name lol. This eventually changed over time.

    When the new girl arrived everyone was introducing themselves and asking her about hobbies. Even my supervisor at the time who doesn't talk to anyone, decides to shoot the **** with her. She was already best friends with everyone on the first day.
    Welcome to every aspect of life. They also get less harsh judgement on their performance and generally lower expectations and softer criticism. They also will have the upper hand with HR by default, and you can expect to receive a mass email or two about networking events specifically for them and the various ways they can overcome their oppression.
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