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  1. #1
    Registered User GMiscer's Avatar
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    Thumbs up How alpha is it to hold a grudge and not be guilt tripped into forgiveness?

    Few years ago an uncle criticized me for having no ambition and compared me to his own son who is a real successful guy

    Since then I've refused to acknowledge him and pretend as if he doesn't exist

    He's getting on in the years and reached out to my brother for some reconciliation with me but I've held my ground

    Others in the family have tried to make me feel sorry for him and turn it around as if it's somehow my fault since he's getting old but I'm still not budging

    He even sent me a gift last Christmas and I it sent it right back unopened with just a "Return to Sender" tag so he'd know that I didn't even recognize his gesture of goodwill

    Get a somewhat smug sense of power by acting in this stubborn way
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  2. #2
    ᵏ𝔦Ň∂𝔸 𝐃𝕌M𝕓 ιĎᛕ 𝕝ØŁ casiNo.'s Avatar
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    dont u get tired?
    ʕ•̫͡•ʕ*̫͡*ʕ•͓͡•ʔ-̫͡-ʕ•̫͡•ʔ*̫͡*ʔ
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  3. #3
    B*nn*d 401Delta's Avatar
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    I just posted a thread on this very subject. I'm such a vengeful fukk I can't even find anyone to give my crap to.
    Trump 2024
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  4. #4
    Registered User sandman2019's Avatar
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    i agree i have a grudge against my ex feels good man will never forgive will get revenge one day
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  5. #5
    Registered User BalkanPrince's Avatar
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    OP stop being a emotional phaggot. The guy is sorry and is man enough to reach out. I know we joke a lot here on Here but imagine if your Uncle died? Or the day he does? You don’t want to stand over his grave and wonder “Damn, I wish I had accepted his present”, or to wonder “damn I wish I could have accepted his reconciliation”. Trust me bruh, you don’t want to live with that. It would wreck you forever.

    It is Alpha to hold your ground but not to lose your character by refusing to move on. He is not being a dick and actually feels regret.

    The man is obviously sorry and you should be a man and let go. You are coming off as an dramatical beta if you don’t. So be a man and shake the man’s hand.
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  6. #6
    Positive Mental Attitude Aristotelian's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GMiscer View Post
    Few years ago an uncle criticized me for having no ambition and compared me to his own son who is a real successful guy
    You brag for being on welfare, don't you? A janitor is more successful than you are. Just lmao at the rest of your fictional bull****.
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  7. #7
    Registered User MBisonSon's Avatar
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    My grudges are more along the lines of every few years on a rainy day I'll make an event out of prank calling all my ****ty ex-employers.
    The billionaire and the beggar both have 24 hours in a day.

    That's why grandma's apple pie rocks and yours sucks.

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  8. #8
    Registered User bigcat3655's Avatar
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    Haven't spoken to my parents since April, and if I ever see my brother again outside of a formal setting where I have to behave for someone else's sake, like a funeral or wedding, he's getting punched in the face.
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  9. #9
    Han Solo DFS200's Avatar
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    Sounds wack tbh
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  10. #10
    Registered User immune18's Avatar
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    immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000) immune18 is just really nice. (+1000)
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    if he is actually a genuinely nice guy then you’re losing out in the long run. Everyone makes mistakes etc and he probably regrets it. Btw, it’s 2019, it isn’t alpha to act like that at all, maybe 50 years ago it would have been.
    Remember the guy that gave up? Neither does anybody else.
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  11. #11
    80/20 Leo NVious's Avatar
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    Alpha af, keep it up bro, only TRUE alpha robust slayers know these feels.
    Through every generation of the human race there has been a constant war, a war with fear. Those who have the courage to conquer it are made free and those who are conquered by it are made to suffer until they have the courage to defeat it, or death takes them.
    -Alexander the Great
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  12. #12
    Delivering Negs BustaCapp's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bigcat3655 View Post
    Haven't spoken to my parents since April, and if I ever see my brother again outside of a formal setting where I have to behave for someone else's sake, like a funeral or wedding, he's getting punched in the face.
    story time?
    fist yourself
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  13. #13
    Certified Tyrone rockr101's Avatar
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    im someone that never forgives, and always looks to get back at the person every chance I get... even years later
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  14. #14
    Registered User samsbolton's Avatar
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    Life is all about holding grudges. The longer the better some of mine go back 35 years, and I extend it to their family, friends, and their dog.
    I revel in my hatred, makes me feel alive
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  15. #15
    Registered User MrQuint's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bigcat3655 View Post
    Haven't spoken to my parents since April, and if I ever see my brother again outside of a formal setting where I have to behave for someone else's sake, like a funeral or wedding, he's getting punched in the face.
    Originally Posted by BustaCapp View Post
    story time?
    I second the motion.
    Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.
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  16. #16
    Troll Patrol MichelleLnne's Avatar
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    super alpha.. dead serious\. **** people- just flesh on meat that will die some day
    I do not respond to negative off topic comments posted in my direction.

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  17. #17
    Registered Browns Fan® sloop's Avatar
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    Just lol at letting WORDS someone said to you, years ago, still eat away at your well being.

    Dude is living rent free in your head. Rent. Free.
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  18. #18
    325# TravelinJhwkFan's Avatar
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    Using that much energy to hold a grudge isn't good for anyone. He obviously realizes his mistake, hence reaching out, (doubtful) but maybe you will before it's too late.

    Forgive, but don't forget.

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  19. #19
    Registered User EnderG60's Avatar
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    I have a similar situation with my uncle. I wont go into details but he sold me out, it happened when I was 14 (23 years ago) and I still refuse to acknowledge him. He calls me every year for my Bday and holidays and I ignore every single call. Every card he sent me goes in the trash, even if it has a check in it. I honestly dont care if its alpha or whatever. He betrayed me so bad I will never forgive him. My dad is always trying to get me to be nice to him, NOPE.

    I also have a grudge against an ex friend who I loaned money to when he was jobless and I was damn near broke. He wanted money he had donated to a club back and couldnt get it. I was the treasurer of the club at the time. Feeling bad for him I gave him money out of my own pocket he told me he would pay it back ASAP. Then changed his mind saying the money was from the club, not me and its his money. Then he got mad at me for wanting my money back and wouldnt talk to me for 2 years. That was like 10 years ago. Now hes back in the friend group some times and I refuse to be friendly with him. He shunned me for 2 years over $200. Back then, that was a lot of money to me. Now I dont care, but the way he acted about it will never be fixed.

    Its not about holding a grudge to me, its more about learning who people really are and not wanting them in my life. And Im sure as hell not going to just put a smile on and be nice for their sake.
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  20. #20
    I Laugh Godfrd824's Avatar
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    Not alpha at all, he's unaware of your existence, while you fume about him day and night.

    In OPs case, the guy was completely right, you're a loser. He didn't say anything that was not factual, so in effect, you're pissy at him telling you the truth.


    Originally Posted by EnderG60 View Post
    I also have a grudge against an ex friend who I loaned money to when he was jobless and I was damn near broke. He wanted money he had donated to a club back and couldnt get it. I was the treasurer of the club at the time. Feeling bad for him I gave him money out of my own pocket he told me he would pay it back ASAP. Then changed his mind saying the money was from the club, not me and its his money. Then he got mad at me for wanting my money back and wouldnt talk to me for 2 years. That was like 10 years ago. Now hes back in the friend group some times and I refuse to be friendly with him. He shunned me for 2 years over $200. Back then, that was a lot of money to me. Now I dont care, but the way he acted about it will never be fixed.
    Something similar happened to me over $500, and I was mad for a while, but I let it go. I'm just living my life, plus the biggest revenge is being way more successful than the the person in question.
    Last edited by Godfrd824; 12-10-2019 at 06:04 AM.
    "So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. . . . Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place." -Tecumseh
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  21. #21
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    Originally Posted by EnderG60 View Post
    I also have a grudge against an ex friend who I loaned money to when he was jobless and I was damn near broke. He wanted money he had donated to a club back and couldnt get it. I was the treasurer of the club at the time. Feeling bad for him I gave him money out of my own pocket he told me he would pay it back ASAP. Then changed his mind saying the money was from the club, not me and its his money. Then he got mad at me for wanting my money back and wouldnt talk to me for 2 years. That was like 10 years ago. Now hes back in the friend group some times and I refuse to be friendly with him. He shunned me for 2 years over $200. Back then, that was a lot of money to me. Now I dont care, but the way he acted about it will never be fixed.
    For $200 he will never bother you for anything and guarantee if you were good friends, it eats him more than you. Let it go. Forgive, don't forget.

    Watch A Bronx Tale. Perspective is all you need.
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  22. #22
    Registered User samsbolton's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TravelinJhwkFan View Post
    For $200 he will never bother you for anything and guarantee if you were good friends, it eats him more than you. Let it go. Forgive, don't forget.

    Watch A Bronx Tale. Perspective is all you need.
    I neither forgive nor forget. Ever.
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    Originally Posted by samsbolton View Post
    I neither forgive nor forget. Ever.
    And it shows with your amazing perspective on life.
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    Forgive others, so that God will forgive you.
    My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15:12

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    Originally Posted by TravelinJhwkFan View Post
    For $200 he will never bother you for anything and guarantee if you were good friends, it eats him more than you. Let it go. Forgive, don't forget.

    Watch A Bronx Tale. Perspective is all you need.
    This one doesnt eat at me at all, I simply refuse to be a friend to him. He was a really good friend, and he knows exactly why because other friends told him the same way they told me why he was beefing with me in the beginning. He never even had the balls to tell me to my face. I dont want the money back, thats in the past, lesson learned. He showed me his real colors and he can be friends with whoever he wants. Just not me.

    To me its more like, would you go back to the girl that cheated on you. Hell no. Would you forgive her? Not if you value yourself.
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    Originally Posted by CalmWind View Post
    Forgive others, so that God will forgive you.
    LOL God is the biggest vengful fuk there is.
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    Originally Posted by EnderG60 View Post
    LOL God is the biggest vengful fuk there is.
    No, He isn't.
    My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15:12

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    Originally Posted by CalmWind View Post
    No, He isn't.
    Have you read the bible or do you just quote it?
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    Originally Posted by EnderG60 View Post
    This one doesnt eat at me at all, I simply refuse to be a friend to him. He was a really good friend, and he knows exactly why because other friends told him the same way they told me why he was beefing with me in the beginning. He never even had the balls to tell me to my face. I dont want the money back, thats in the past, lesson learned. He showed me his real colors and he can be friends with whoever he wants. Just not me.

    To me its more like, would you go back to the girl that cheated on you. Hell no. Would you forgive her? Not if you value yourself.
    Forgiving her doesnt mean you have to go back to her though. Forgiving means you're not allowing her to affect you, in my meaning. Why allow myself to waste energy on the person that screwed me over, when I could better use that energy doing something positive with my life? That's why I'll forgive people, but I won't forget what they did.
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    Originally Posted by EnderG60 View Post
    Have you read the bible or do you just quote it?
    The question is, have you understood what you read?

    You clearly didn't.
    My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15:12

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