Really depressed- Need to make a decision. Pics attached.

[Adolfhernan1]

Hey guys,

This is really hard for me to talk about but here it goes. I am really depressed due to the way my body looks. I have been struggling with this for a long time and I need to decide how I am going to fix this starting TODAY.

I am not an experienced lifter. I've been lifting for about a year and trying to increase my muscle mass. However, I have a "skinny fat" look. My arms have almost no muscle and I have a saggy chest. I also have love handles. I look thin with a shirt on but I feel uncomfortable when I take it off. I used to be heavy and went on a crash diet all the way down to 150 pounds and lost all my muscle mass in the process. Even then I still had man boobs and love handles.

Current Weight- 185 pounds
Height- 5/11

I'm squatting 195 pounds and my bench is only 135 pounds. Currently running the SS 5x5 program.

My question is, what do I do from here in order to obtain an aesthetic physique and like the way I look? Should I add mass first and hope that my chest and arms fill out? Or should I cut and get rid of the bodyfat first?
I really appreciate any help here. Please be honest with your replies. I am desperate.

[CommitmentRulz]

In this thread from September https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=177565921 you state

haven’t been very consistent with my diet or training

I'd recommend a slight deficit and continue lifting hard. What workout are you following?

[Adolfhernan1]

I'd recommend a slight deficit and continue lifting hard. What workout are you following?[/QUOTE]

Hey man. I’m doing SS 5x5. Is this a good program for me?

[spradish]

Hey man. I’m doing SS 5x5. Is this a good program for me?

What is it? Starting Strength is generally a 3x5 program. Do you mean StrongLifts?

And honestly, you don't look nearly as bad as I expected based on your description. Yes, you have fat to lose and you should continue to lift to retain and eventually build muscle.

I think you're being overly hard on yourself about your looks. I completely get it--been there, done that. It's extremely difficult to lose weight and see how far you've come instead of how far you have to go. Plus the permanent side effects of being big (e.g., stretched skin) can be distressing. But I really encourage you to be kind to yourself, as in stop the negative self-talk. Tell yourself that you can lose the weight, can progress in the gym, can hit your goals, etc instead.

[Sam98372]

Hey guys,

This is really hard for me to talk about but here it goes. I am really depressed due to the way my body looks. I have been struggling with this for a long time and I need to decide how I am going to fix this starting TODAY.

I am not an experienced lifter. I've been lifting for about a year and trying to increase my muscle mass. However, I have a "skinny fat" look. My arms have almost no muscle and I have a saggy chest. I also have love handles. I look thin with a shirt on but I feel uncomfortable when I take it off. I used to be heavy and went on a crash diet all the way down to 150 pounds and lost all my muscle mass in the process. Even then I still had man boobs and love handles.

Current Weight- 185 pounds
Height- 5/11

I'm squatting 195 pounds and my bench is only 135 pounds. Currently running the SS 5x5 program.

My question is, what do I do from here in order to obtain an aesthetic physique and like the way I look? Should I add mass first and hope that my chest and arms fill out? Or should I cut and get rid of the bodyfat first?
I really appreciate any help here. Please be honest with your replies. I am desperate.

Dude. Stop being hard on yourself. At least you are doing it and not wasting your time. But, you have to realize it is going to take years for you to be close to being truly happy with yourself... you will always want to change something, add something.. trust me. But, what gets you further and further is being positive and pushing forward and embracing every single day, and every little progress.

Off of my experience, I would start bulking when you feel you’re at a low enough body fat content, below 18% imo. Bulk when it’s winter and cut during spring and summer, or can do it like I do... AUG-DEC BULK, Jan-June cut

Best of luck! Your pictures are definitely not what I expected when I read the post. Looking good man. Keep working hard. Don’t give up. And especially, don’t give in to bad dieting.