Should I take the hint? First relationship post-divorce

[SkinnyBeast24]

So after a smashing spree this Summer after ending marriage of 5 years, I finally found a chick worth my time. We been talking since late September but we're 90 minutes apart. We've been on 6-7 dates and have done everything but sex (she's not the most sexually experienced...) and seems to have some serious walls up from 2 years ago from a relationship that was for 5 years.

I've tried my best to keep myself from texting her all day and ****. But it's been 3 weeks since I've seen her despite us both initiating texts. Thanksgiving obviously ruined ****. I had Sunday planned to see her but she just asked me what I was doing monday/tuesday so she's providing an alternative but it's been 3 weeks...you think she be dying to see me.

So do I cut my loss or do I start to back off and she if she comes for me? So tired of chasing and I've done the best I could without being desperate.

Downloaded hinge again just to keep my mind off her, but this chick is amazing. **** brahs.

[drvillain]

I was looking to read that you set plans and she said no or bailed.


So are you just waiting for her to ask to hang out? Until sex occurs usually us guys are the ones chasing. You haven’t even shifted to phase 2 yet

[SkinnyBeast24]

I was looking to read that you set plans and she said no or bailed.


So are you just waiting for her to ask to hang out? Until sex occurs usually us guys are the ones chasing. You haven’t even shifted to phase 2 yet

Brought up Sunday as a day where she "potentially" could hang in afternoon/evening. So prob put that for an easy-out unless I'm reading to into things. This girl is insanely independent and is busy. She'll go to concerts by herself or museums. It's honestly a major turn on for me cause she would be somebody that could have fun on her own if we ever got comfortable with each other.

Now I'm waiting for her to see if she is trying to bail sunday so we could hang monday/tuesday...i mean she is throwing day's out there so I'm not totally convinced she is letting me down but the last 2 weeks have changed from the previous weeks. The momentum has come to a hault.

The first night (We met at my best friends wedding) we hooked up (no sex) and I even showered with her. Since then, we've only had 1 other time where we went past making out so i don't know what's happening. I don't even care about the sex right now, I just like hanging with her.

[NerdyLady]

You've been on 6 or 7 dates, since late September, and have kept it asexual because she has issues with sex? Is she seeing a therapist about her sexual issues? I don't know how invested you are in this relationship but it's never easy going into a relationship when there are sexual issues, right off the bat, and hoping they resolve themselves naturally. By all means, if she's worth it, be patient but sometimes the issues are deep.

[drvillain]

You showered with her and haven’t had sex after 6 dates. Does not compute.

I’m starting to get the feeling that she might be low interest

[tunafish01]

Tough call op...

You be a man, get what you want, that’s considered “desperate” and “chasing” in today’s world

You do nothing you risk losing an opportunity with a girl you’re into.

Dating sucks haha

I have the same issue when it comes to Sex. You try to quick you’re a “f boy” you wait too long you’re friendzoned ...

[SkinnyBeast24]

You showered with her and haven’t had sex after 6 dates. Does not compute.

I’m starting to get the feeling that she might be low interest

Let's just say, she may still have the v-card @ 28. And she dated a dude for 5 years so. Unless she lied to me about that. I don't know. She knows I have a bigger sexual history so maybe she thinks I got the clap or something. I'll keep being patient but dam

[Dirtymanjames]

If the momentum is dying it’s probably done.

If I girl isn’t willing to find time she isn’t that interested.


I have experienced too many times where it is going great, super easy to meet up, she gives alternative days if it doesn’t work, then after a few dates she cancels or doesn’t give other dates. It means it’s done.


I’ve come to learn after many let downs that if a human, not just a girl wants to get to know you they will make time for you.

[SkinnyBeast24]

If the momentum is dying it’s probably done.

If I girl isn’t willing to find time she isn’t that interested.


I have experienced too many times where it is going great, super easy to meet up, she gives alternative days if it doesn’t work, then after a few dates she cancels or doesn’t give other dates. It means it’s done.


I’ve come to learn after many let downs that if a human, not just a girl wants to get to know you they will make time for you.

The cold hard truth. Well unless she schedules something, I'm back to my late night lifts and improving on myself while I fight off that weekend loneliness. Smashing is fun, but at 29, want something a little more serious.

Got married too young, don't regret it. But I miss them relationship feels. Such a different person than I was at 23-25. Life's a mean bitch sometimes boyos.

[PITA21]

From personal experience, don't do it

I met a 27 year old virgin and while I did take her virginity I was always guilt tripped for being unhappy for not having my needs satisfied and it left me feeling empty and bitter, for my efforts and patient over six months I got dumped. She was a great girl but there was a reason she was available. She's structured, mentally and physically unready for sex, you're unlikely to crack the code IMO, even if you do it will take extreme patients/time and this girl isn't even texting you, the one I had was a hard case even when she was completely obsessed with me.

[SkinnyBeast24]

From personal experience, don't do it

I met a 27 year old virgin and while I did take her virginity I was always guilt tripped for being unhappy for not having my needs satisfied and it left me feeling empty and bitter, for my efforts and patient over six months I got dumped. She was a great girl but there was a reason she was available. She's structured, mentally and physically unready for sex, you're unlikely to crack the code IMO, even if you do it will take extreme patients/time and this girl isn't even texting you, the one I had was a hard case even when she was completely obsessed with me.

Yea, the sexual compatibility would def be an issue but I'm not thinking straight. This sucks b/c her personality is a ****ing 11/10. But if it's too good to be true, it probably is as they say.

[dolvioblue]

I have dated girls like this. They have odd sexual hang ups. Maybe that’s not the case for her. My bet is she isn’t interested in you, men in general or met someone else. Some women are just happy being alone.

[skinnyfat88]

Set your plans more concrete and if she bails then pull back and if she wants you she'll do the chasing.

If she doesn't "get" that it's important to stick to plans and the effort needs to be mutual it's not worth trying to change/teach her.

[SkinnyBeast24]

Set your plans more concrete and if she bails then pull back and if she wants you she'll do the chasing.

If she doesn't "get" that it's important to stick to plans and the effort needs to be mutual it's not worth trying to change/teach her.

I'll post her text in here once she responds. Ball is currently in her court. If she is still trying to hang even if that means pushing the day again, then I'll keep trying but I got to make sure I send back the right thing so I can get my point across without sounding like a dick.

[drvillain]

I'll post her text in here once she responds. Ball is currently in her court. If she is still trying to hang even if that means pushing the day again, then I'll keep trying but I got to make sure I send back the right thing so I can get my point across without sounding like a dick.

Why are you so available that she can push back the dates to whatever she chooses and you’re willingly free?

[squat_blaster]

90 minutes is pretty far. Sounds like geography is getting in the way. Too much planning and commitment for either to make the haul

[drvillain]

90 minutes is pretty far. Sounds like geography is getting in the way. Too much planning and commitment for either to make the haul

It’s only hard if both parties aren’t willing. I lived 65 miles away from my most recent gf and we saw each other often. She just Seemingly isn’t that into OPie

[HotlineBling]

You've been on 6 or 7 dates, since late September, and have kept it asexual because she has issues with sex? Is she seeing a therapist about her sexual issues? I don't know how invested you are in this relationship but it's never easy going into a relationship when there are sexual issues, right off the bat, and hoping they resolve themselves naturally. By all means, if she's worth it, be patient but sometimes the issues are deep.

This. I’ve dated a couple women who were either virgins or just didn’t like sex like that. I tried the patient game. But something just wasn’t right with them. Like I love independent women, but they all seemed like they all wanted nothing from a man. And as a man you want to be needed for things. So coming from an experienced man sexually. It’s not worth it. You want to find a woman who is all around perfect for you. And this ain’t it chief.

[SkinnyBeast24]

Why are you so available that she can push back the dates to whatever she chooses and you’re willingly free?

Cause my life is basically gym and training people. My friends are all 70 minutes away so I see them on weekends sometimes. I work 6 days a week. So I'll take any opportunity to hang out with people that aren't in high school or over 40 since that's basically 50 hours of my week right there.

I like my alone time, but **** gets old. I want to have my own place, but be seeing somebody at the same time. Seems like the best of both worlds.

[SkinnyBeast24]

It’s only hard if both parties aren’t willing. I lived 65 miles away from my most recent gf and we saw each other often. She just Seemingly isn’t that into OPie

It's true. I'm cutting my losses. Not texting her unless she hits me up, which I am sort of shocked if she doesn't.

I was ghosted earlier in August but that chick was a slut so I'm not surprised..plus that was only after like 3 dates. This time it's been 2 months of texting almost everyday with a few dates...and we're mutual friends with other people. So this time, I am little more surprised. At least tell me, the distance or something isn't working. lie to me for all i care. dumb.

[Legz422]

How can you be in a relationship for 5 years and be sexually inexperienced. Me thinks she's feeding you a lot of BS.

[dolvioblue]

How can you be in a relationship for 5 years and be sexually inexperienced. Me thinks she's feeding you a lot of BS.

I 150% agree with this. I had a girl next door type tell me once she’s never been that adventurous. She gets shy she said. Eventually found out she’s had a threesome with 2 men. Jokes on me.

[Legz422]

I 150% agree with this. I had a girl next door type tell me once she’s never been that adventurous. She gets shy she said. Eventually found out she’s had a threesome with 2 men. Jokes on me.

Oof!

[dolvioblue]

Oof!

It actually sent me to a therapist because I was so so so wrong about someone. I usually have good gut instinct but she ticked all my boxes and I thought maybe “this is it..!” Until I learned she’s slept with all her friends, tag teamed, etc. Worst off all I was essentially lied to by her.

[SkinnyBeast24]

How can you be in a relationship for 5 years and be sexually inexperienced. Me thinks she's feeding you a lot of BS.

Idk, she only gave me handjobs for one. She went down on me 1 time, but had alcohol in her. I was too drunk to even finish. ****ing sucked.

And when I went down on her for the first time, I felt like she was going "wow, men actually do this" the entire time. Must have spent a good 20-25 minutes too. I like eating what can i say.

[BlackScorpio91]

I 150% agree with this. I had a girl next door type tell me once she’s never been that adventurous. She gets shy she said. Eventually found out she’s had a threesome with 2 men. Jokes on me.

You're just not that guy to her.

Also I bet this chick is not that interested in him and so is using him for attention/validation/dates but is fuking another man on the side.

[SkinnyBeast24]

It actually sent me to a therapist because I was so so so wrong about someone. I usually have good gut instinct but she ticked all my boxes and I thought maybe “this is it..!” Until I learned she’s slept with all her friends, tag teamed, etc. Worst off all I was essentially lied to by her.

yea, that is why this is driving me a little mad. Cause the first time I was ghosted, the signs were obvious. Puerto Rican, was a mechanic, put graduate degree but it was some apprentance b.s., was just hot as **** and a bad bitch. no chance i stood but made it 3 dates and made out. i can live with that ghost.

This time, mutual friends, 2-3 months of texting and dates, I prob spent about 500-600$ on her so far, she did pay a few times, but i'm a gentlemen and will pay if i like the chick...i'll be pretty shocked if i get nothing by sunday night. she is watching all my instagram stories, but doesnt text me back. i dont get it.

[Legz422]

yea, that is why this is driving me a little mad. Cause the first time I was ghosted, the signs were obvious. Puerto Rican, was a mechanic, put graduate degree but it was some apprentance b.s., was just hot as **** and a bad bitch. no chance i stood but made it 3 dates and made out. i can live with that ghost.

This time, mutual friends, 2-3 months of texting and dates, I prob spent about 500-600$ on her so far, she did pay a few times, but i'm a gentlemen and will pay if i like the chick...i'll be pretty shocked if i get nothing by sunday night. she is watching all my instagram stories, but doesnt text me back. i dont get it.

U wut m8?! LMAO. She's using you.

[BlackScorpio91]

U wut m8?! LMAO. She's using you.

Another love-stricken idiot bites the dust.

He'll have to learn the hard way.

[sqal]

How you going to spend a dime on a girl you're not ****ing. Das not it mane