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  1. #61
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    So after a smashing spree this Summer after ending marriage of 5 years, I finally found a chick worth my time. We been talking since late September but we're 90 minutes apart. We've been on 6-7 dates and have done everything but sex (she's not the most sexually experienced...) and seems to have some serious walls up from 2 years ago from a relationship that was for 5 years.

    I've tried my best to keep myself from texting her all day and ****. But it's been 3 weeks since I've seen her despite us both initiating texts. Thanksgiving obviously ruined ****. I had Sunday planned to see her but she just asked me what I was doing monday/tuesday so she's providing an alternative but it's been 3 weeks...you think she be dying to see me.

    So do I cut my loss or do I start to back off and she if she comes for me? So tired of chasing and I've done the best I could without being desperate.

    Downloaded hinge again just to keep my mind off her, but this chick is amazing. **** brahs.
    I hate to tell you this, but you have your answer. You're more into her than she is into you. If it were the other way around, she'd be moving mountains to see you. It sucks, but that's where you are. After 6-7 dates, you both know if it's a match or not.

    As always, watch what they do, not what they say. In this case, she says she wants to spend time with you, but she's not actually doing so. There's your answer.
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  2. #62
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    Originally Posted by MiscInformed View Post
    I hate to tell you this, but you have your answer. You're more into her than she is into you. If it were the other way around, she'd be moving mountains to see you. It sucks, but that's where you are. After 6-7 dates, you both know if it's a match or not.

    As always, watch what they do, not what they say. In this case, she says she wants to spend time with you, but she's not actually doing so. There's your answer.
    This right here
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  3. #63
    Registered User stardewvalley's Avatar
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    this dude is 6'5'' 230 and lean, still gets put on the burner

    how are the rest of us ever go to reproduce?

    OP, if you're really into, call her. i've broken through multiple walls with a phone call. The text games aint for you, it's pretty obvious.
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  4. #64
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MiscInformed View Post
    I hate to tell you this, but you have your answer. You're more into her than she is into you. If it were the other way around, she'd be moving mountains to see you. It sucks, but that's where you are. After 6-7 dates, you both know if it's a match or not.

    As always, watch what they do, not what they say. In this case, she says she wants to spend time with you, but she's not actually doing so. There's your answer.
    He's right. When someone wants to be with you, there are no excuses and they'll make time. The fact that she ignored your text for a week then responded with no mention of your plans this weekend says everything.
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  5. #65
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    I know this sounds pathetic, but she just seemed different. I’ve been out with 8 different girls (smashed 2) since my separation and this was the first I thought it would turn into something real so maybe that’s why.

    Plus if I can get to 6 weeks of talking to a chick, I’m thinking both parties are interested.

    And idc about the sex, I lived a sexless marriage for the last 2 years of my life. I’ve had cops called on me, **** thrown at me, physically and emotionally abused from my ex and finally had the balls to end that ****.

    Plus she isn’t waiting for marriage or anything like that, and her ex was a chubbier white dude. She just has majors walls up and she told me that.

    The problem is this girl is a next door neighbor type of chick. 6/10 looks but that personality is sky high. She did things on dates that most people don’t do. We went duckpin bowling and I tipped the bartender but there was another dude who would put the pins back and she went over and tipped him cause she felt bad. Most people wouldn’t do that. She was also insanely polite to staff when we would go out and stuff.

    Idk. I haven’t texted her and holding strong. Gonna go do cardio now
    It sounds like you both are just kind of friends. I know you don’t want to hear this but any woman who hasn’t had sex by 28 years of age that isn’t religious likely has some deep issues around this area. It’s not walls, it’s psychological issues that have prevented true relationships for her.

    Like everyone else has said you have ignored all the red flags and become her friend. She’s single not because she wants to be but likely nobody else is really interested in someone that offers nothing back.

    The reason you are entertaining this is because you are out of a relationship that was bad and looking for the opposite of that.

    If you are okay with no sex then so be it. But happy and healthy normal relationships incorporate sex into it. People that have walls, issues or anything else around this topic can be a disaster.

    Do as you please OP but I’ve dated a couple hundred women and have met the type you are describing. I have absolutely zero interest in them because they offer nothing.
    Last edited by dolvioblue; 12-08-2019 at 02:34 PM.
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  6. #66
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    He's right. When someone wants to be with you, there are no excuses and they'll make time. The fact that she ignored your text for a week then responded with no mention of your plans this weekend says everything.
    Where are the good ol days when a guy could atleast get an idea if the girl is into him or not by the depth of her cleavage / dressing? (Provided it’s not the first date - then it would just tell if sloot’s gonna sloot or not)
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  7. #67
    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    He's right. When someone wants to be with you, there are no excuses and they'll make time. The fact that she ignored your text for a week then responded with no mention of your plans this weekend says everything.
    Yea, i just figured she was actually busy. she had the instagram stories to back it up and she works at a hospital with kids so prob cant be on phone much. but when if i like somebody, ill make it known. gotta get better at this dating thing. i can close a chick at club but finding a girl to go the distance, i **** up always.

    Originally Posted by stardewvalley View Post
    this dude is 6'5'' 230 and lean, still gets put on the burner

    how are the rest of us ever go to reproduce?

    OP, if you're really into, call her. i've broken through multiple walls with a phone call. The text games aint for you, it's pretty obvious.
    Possibly. She has major walls up. I think her past relationship destroyed her honestly. Dude pretty much took her on a walk after 5 years of dating to follow his music career and told her he was doing it alone even though she'd follow him.

    I see all this as something to learn from, not that upset. Couple workouts to get my mind right and I'll be back out there.
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  8. #68
    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    It sounds like you both are just kind of friends. I know you don’t want to hear this but any woman who hasn’t had sex by 28 years of age that isn’t religious likely has some deep issues around this area. It’s not walls, it’s psychological issues that have prevented true relationships for her.

    Like everyone else has said you have ignored all the red flags and become her friend. She’s single not babies she wants to be but likely nobody else is really interested in someone that offers nothing back.

    The reason you are entertaining this is because you are out of a relationship that was bad and looking for the opposite of that.

    If you are okay with no sex then so be it. But happy and healthy normal relationships incorporate sex into it. People that have walls, issues or anything else around this topic can be a disaster.

    Do as you please OP but I’ve dated a couple hundred women and have met the type you are describing. I have absolutely zero interest in them because they offer nothing.
    Repped when I can. That last 2 years of marriage did **** me up. It's 1 thing to be alone, but another to be alone while married to somebody. And she became a crazy dog person but that's a different story.

    Such is life. My stock is only rising, but sharing my life with somebody is still the dream.
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  9. #69
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    Yea, i just figured she was actually busy. she had the instagram stories to back it up and she works at a hospital with kids so prob cant be on phone much. but when if i like somebody, ill make it known. gotta get better at this dating thing. i can close a chick at club but finding a girl to go the distance, i **** up always.



    Possibly. She has major walls up. I think her past relationship destroyed her honestly. Dude pretty much took her on a walk after 5 years of dating to follow his music career and told her he was doing it alone even though she'd follow him.

    I see all this as something to learn from, not that upset. Couple workouts to get my mind right and I'll be back out there.
    Texting someone only takes a few seconds. No one is so busy that they can't text for an entire week, especially when you had plans for that following weekend. As has been said, listen to her actions. You're making excuses and trying to convince yourself she's interested in you. Sad to say, it doesn't sound like she is.
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  10. #70
    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Texting someone only takes a few seconds. No one is so busy that they can't text for an entire week, especially when you had plans for that following weekend. As has been said, listen to her actions. You're making excuses and trying to convince yourself she's interested in you. Sad to say, it doesn't sound like she is.
    I know, just don't want to admit. It's different. The first dates, she'd commit to a date and time (dates 3-5). The 7th we just met for coffee before hanging out with friends and she had a bad migraine the whole time. She wouldn't have left her friends early if that was the case. Since then, just texting b.s. She initiates sometimes, responds to my IG stories. And just snakes around the hanging out part.

    I even said like 3 weeks ago "if im putting too much pressure to hang, let me know, and I'll back off cause i was pushing her to sleepover and then she bailed cause i dont think she's ready for that yet"
    and she goes "no, no, nothing like that. i enjoy getting to know you and taking things slow. i'd let ya know"

    women. i swear. ****ing me up. maybe she's not ready to let her guard down. moving on boys. will not text unless she explicitly sets something up then im gonna be ****ed up cause im gonna want to see her.
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  11. #71
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    I know, just don't want to admit. It's different. The first dates, she'd commit to a date and time (dates 3-5). The 7th we just met for coffee before hanging out with friends and she had a bad migraine the whole time. She wouldn't have left her friends early if that was the case. Since then, just texting b.s. She initiates sometimes, responds to my IG stories. And just snakes around the hanging out part.

    I even said like 3 weeks ago "if im putting too much pressure to hang, let me know, and I'll back off cause i was pushing her to sleepover and then she bailed cause i dont think she's ready for that yet"
    and she goes "no, no, nothing like that. i enjoy getting to know you and taking things slow. i'd let ya know"

    women. i swear. ****ing me up. maybe she's not ready to let her guard down. moving on boys. will not text unless she explicitly sets something up then im gonna be ****ed up cause im gonna want to see her.
    Your only other option is to call her and call her out on this BS. Tell her that you're not interested in a texting relationship and that you want to see her. If she won't make a plan and follow through, you have your answer. Then go NC.
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  12. #72
    Power and the money. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stardewvalley View Post
    this dude is 6'5'' 230 and lean, still gets put on the burner

    how are the rest of us ever go to reproduce?

    OP, if you're really into, call her. i've broken through multiple walls with a phone call. The text games aint for you, it's pretty obvious.
    It's his personality. Just because a guy is Chad on paper doesn't mean he can't fuk up.

    You need to toned down the miscing brah.
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  13. #73
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    I know, just don't want to admit. It's different. The first dates, she'd commit to a date and time (dates 3-5). The 7th we just met for coffee before hanging out with friends and she had a bad migraine the whole time. She wouldn't have left her friends early if that was the case. Since then, just texting b.s. She initiates sometimes, responds to my IG stories. And just snakes around the hanging out part.

    I even said like 3 weeks ago "if im putting too much pressure to hang, let me know, and I'll back off cause i was pushing her to sleepover and then she bailed cause i dont think she's ready for that yet"
    and she goes "no, no, nothing like that. i enjoy getting to know you and taking things slow. i'd let ya know"

    women. i swear. ****ing me up. maybe she's not ready to let her guard down. moving on boys. will not text unless she explicitly sets something up then im gonna be ****ed up cause im gonna want to see her.
    Not ready for a sleepover? She’s pushing 30 and isn’t ready? Ready for what? My thoughts are she’s not interested my man and just being polite because you are very nice. I cannot stand “women” with issues like this. It’s like dating a teenager.
    Last edited by dolvioblue; 12-07-2019 at 09:38 PM.
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  14. #74
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Your only other option is to call her and call her out on this BS. Tell her that you're not interested in a texting relationship and that you want to see her. If she won't make a plan and follow through, you have your answer. Then go NC.
    Jesus, dont do this OP. You are just going to keep pushing her away. Or you know what? Do it, because i dont want you to end up with that crazy chick anyway, she has you so wrapped up around her finger that i feel that she could hurt you very bad.

    You are way too emotionally invested with this chick, you have her on a pedestal and that is never good. Its time to take a step back.

    On your particular situation, there is nothing you can do to make her want to be with you, but there are millions of things you can do to push her away. So the less you do, the better.
    "The flowers bloom, then wither... The stars shine and one day become extinct. This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe, someday will be destroyed. Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time. In that short time - people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death."
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  15. #75
    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    Not ready for a sleepover? She’s pushing 30 and isn’t ready? Ready for what? My thoughts are she’s not interested my man and just being polite because you are very nice. I. Annoy stand “women” with issues like this. It’s like dating a teenager.
    Dont ask me...we were obviously drunk the first time so the slept-over just happened on its own just thinking it be your typical wedding 1 night deal but then we talked at breakfast the next day and were like...**** it, lets keep seeing each other...but ever since then, idk whats up with the sleepover.

    Originally Posted by Ken-O View Post
    Jesus, dont do this OP. You are just going to keep pushing her away. Or you know what? Do it, because i dont want you to end up with that crazy chick anyway, she has you so wrapped up around her finger that i feel that she could hurt you very bad.

    You are way too emotionally invested with this chick, you have her on a pedestal and that is never good. Its time to take a step back.

    On your particular situation, there is nothing you can do to make her want to be with you, but there are millions of things you can do to push her away. So the less you do, the better.
    I am just not going to contact her unless she double texts me or calls me then we'll see what happens. If she texts me, i will post in this thread for the updates.

    i just did a 75 minute prowler/assault bike workout, feeling good, feeling fresh, needed that
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    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    She double texted me.

    “Hey hey! How’s your weekend going? What are you doing today”

    Now what misc

    Yes I want to see her....
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    She double texted me.

    “Hey hey! How’s your weekend going? What are you doing today”

    Now what misc

    Yes I want to see her....
    Yea she got the message and felt you were gonna ghost her for a few days like she did.

    Keep your cool and answer her dude. let her know what’s going on. Remember you were too busy to text her. Don’t say this directly to her obviously

    Be within her reach but respect YOUR OWN WISHES also and don’t jump to answer her every call and every text. Take your time responding back. Like if you’re busy at work, don’t stop work to get to her.

    Edit: you do not try to bring up a plan to meet her. Let her come up with the idea and you ride along it if you’re interested
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    From Bones to Brawn SkinnyBeast24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TryingBB View Post
    Yea she got the message and felt you were gonna ghost her for a few days like she did.

    Keep your cool and answer her dude. let her know what’s going on. Remember you were too busy to text her. Don’t say this directly to her obviously

    Be within her reach but respect YOUR OWN WISHES also and don’t jump to answer her every call and every text. Take your time responding back. Like if you’re busy at work, don’t stop work to get to her.

    Edit: you do not try to bring up a plan to meet her. Let her come up with the idea and you ride along it if you’re interested
    Major Updates

    I only responded to what I did this weekend. Left it close-ended, but gave her something to work with.

    She responded and then asked me if I was free today or Tuesday.

    I told her tonight is great. And then I asked if she had anything in mind? So sort of throwing the ball back in her court.

    She came up with the plans, and I'm seeing her today and already going back to her place after for take-out/movie.

    Now, I just need to remember to never bring up the status of our relationship unless she does...but at least she wants to see me and plans are CONCRETE.

    here we go boys, and after today, i just need to play it cooler.......ill just have to keep posting updates ITT until i can seal the deal with this chick (yes i like her that much) or we end things mutually...time will tell
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    If she's a virgin at that age, she may have been sexually assaulted, and thus reluctant to get close to you. Someone like that could take a lot of time and effort.
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    Major Updates

    I only responded to what I did this weekend. Left it close-ended, but gave her something to work with.

    She responded and then asked me if I was free today or Tuesday.

    I told her tonight is great. And then I asked if she had anything in mind? So sort of throwing the ball back in her court.

    She came up with the plans, and I'm seeing her today and already going back to her place after for take-out/movie.

    Now, I just need to remember to never bring up the status of our relationship unless she does...but at least she wants to see me and plans are CONCRETE.

    here we go boys, and after today, i just need to play it cooler.......ill just have to keep posting updates ITT until i can seal the deal with this chick (yes i like her that much) or we end things mutually...time will tell
    Well I'm glad she made the plans and I hope she follows through. Honestly though, she sounds like more trouble than she's worth with her sexual issues. I seriously doubt they'll get better and then you'll be in another sexless relationship. How is that worth it for a young guy?
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    Major Updates

    I only responded to what I did this weekend. Left it close-ended, but gave her something to work with.

    She responded and then asked me if I was free today or Tuesday.

    I told her tonight is great. And then I asked if she had anything in mind? So sort of throwing the ball back in her court.

    She came up with the plans, and I'm seeing her today and already going back to her place after for take-out/movie.

    Now, I just need to remember to never bring up the status of our relationship unless she does...but at least she wants to see me and plans are CONCRETE.

    here we go boys, and after today, i just need to play it cooler.......ill just have to keep posting updates ITT until i can seal the deal with this chick (yes i like her that much) or we end things mutually...time will tell
    Well that’s good man. Keep your guard up and enjoy the “friendship” while it lasts. I appreciate the fact that you’re into her but she’s got obvious issues.

    So what I’d do is, have fun while with her but at the same time be looking elsewhere. Have fun with your friends and meet other people. Not necessarily you should be banging other people lol just get to know them. Unless of course you and this chick if yours have an agreement to stay exclusive - and if you guys have such an agreement, then your situation is kinda fuked Cuz of her issues.

    Don’t get too emotionally invested boy - keep your guard up. Life’s too short to keep falling over and over again
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Well I'm glad she made the plans and I hope she follows through. Honestly though, she sounds like more trouble than she's worth with her sexual issues. I seriously doubt they'll get better and then you'll be in another sexless relationship. How is that worth it for a young guy?
    Maybe I'm messed up from my marriage still, but just going to bed with somebody that wants to be with me sounds way better than sex right now. So I don't mind waiting a few months for that. Sex is awesome, but I much prefer it with somebody I care about. I get night sweats some times just thinking of the random thots I smashed and checked their social media months later making sure they weren't pregnant (i did raw dog 1...pulled out, but still, so stupid of me).

    2 weeks ago, I had the easiest slay of my life at the palm of my hands, she was so aggressive, but knew I was talking to the chick I currently am. Don't really regret not smashing cause I like this chick. There is just something about her.
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    Originally Posted by TryingBB View Post
    Well that’s good man. Keep your guard up and enjoy the “friendship” while it lasts. I appreciate the fact that you’re into her but she’s got obvious issues.

    So what I’d do is, have fun while with her but at the same time be looking elsewhere. Have fun with your friends and meet other people. Not necessarily you should be banging other people lol just get to know them. Unless of course you and this chick if yours have an agreement to stay exclusive - and if you guys have such an agreement, then your situation is kinda fuked Cuz of her issues.

    Don’t get too emotionally invested boy - keep your guard up. Life’s too short to keep falling over and over again
    I am going into the next phase of seeing this girl with the idea that it won't last...i'll continue to talk to other chicks if somebody catches my attention, and check myself on the emotional investment. reps to all itt when off r/c
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  24. #84
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    Maybe I'm messed up from my marriage still, but just going to bed with somebody that wants to be with me sounds way better than sex right now. So I don't mind waiting a few months for that. Sex is awesome, but I much prefer it with somebody I care about. I get night sweats some times just thinking of the random thots I smashed and checked their social media months later making sure they weren't pregnant (i did raw dog 1...pulled out, but still, so stupid of me).

    2 weeks ago, I had the easiest slay of my life at the palm of my hands, she was so aggressive, but knew I was talking to the chick I currently am. Don't really regret not smashing cause I like this chick. There is just something about her.
    Oh, I'm not saying that you should just be interested in jumping right into sex with her or go out smashing randoms. Just that it sounds like she has major issues if she was with someone for 5 years and never had sex with them. Are you really willing to wait years? And then what if you're not sexually compatible? You've wasted years of your life when you could have been with someone who didn't have issues.
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    Actually read whole thread...OP just needs to cool down, read your last post above^, keep her as the back burner option honestly. No one cares if she double texted you! You're 29 out of a 5 year marriage, so you were around my age when you married first time...broski! Who the fook would want to marry in their 20s in 2019! That kinda shows you jump at anyone who gives you the slightest attention.

    Slow it down with this uh err..."virgin"...if she sucks you off despite only knowing you a short time she is one of those "I'm a good girl never had sex, but have been slammed by the whole basketball team after they lost the state tournament to cheer them up...oh but they only did anal so it doesn't count" types. , she'll let some guy enter her without a doubt (and he will be better looking than you, hence why she only doesn't want you to take her..."v card"".

    Talk to higher quality girls (like you said you will above).
    Good luck man!

    If you want to share (you don't have to if you don't want to)...why did you get married in your mid 20s? First girl that touched your ding-a-ling-a-ling you had to buy her a diamond?
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Just that it sounds like she has major issues if she was with someone for 5 years and never had sex with them. Are you really willing to wait years?
    Sorta confused now..I read this thread as OP was married for 5 years and got divorced, then started smashing a couple randoms before meeting the girl that this thread is about (the girl being a virgin)...

    I assume you read this (and you may be correct) as OP meeting a girl (who is sexually inexperienced/virgin) coming out of a 5 year relationship?
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    Originally Posted by Nacured View Post
    Sorta confused now..I read this thread as OP was married for 5 years and got divorced, then started smashing a couple randoms before meeting the girl that this thread is about (the girl being a virgin)...

    I assume you read this (and you may be correct) as OP meeting a girl (who is sexually inexperienced/virgin) coming out of a 5 year relationship?
    See below:

    Originally Posted by SkinnyBeast24 View Post
    Snip:
    from 2 years ago from a relationship that was for 5 years.
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    See below:
    Uh, re-read and understand now.

    If she was with him for 5 years she let him hit it....OP surely can't be that stupid (this is in addition to getting packed out by the basketball, lacrosse and water polo squad....hmm possibly the squash team as well).
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    Dudeeeeeeeee

    What the actual fuk????

    Look I'm a female, I gonna tell you this **** has MAJOR red flags all over it, this woman is going to screw ypu over big time.

    She says she was with someone for five years and never had sex?????

    Either she's bull****ting you (and thinks you're an absolute ****ing idiot)

    Or

    Her ex was legit homosexual (but if that was the case, she would've got so excited after ypu went down on her that she would've literally begged you to **** her)

    Or

    She's the type of woman who strung some poor guy along for five whole years and never let him in. Think about it. If she was with her ex for five years and never had sex, she could be with YOU for five years and never have sex, too...... God, what kind of absolute bitch would do that to a man????

    And then there's the lack of texting back. If she has time to view your Snapchat stories she has time to send a text, stop bull****ting yourself.

    Mate she's probably a lesbian. And no you're not going to turn her.

    Cut your losses and find a woman who's into you.
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    So you went on a date last night?

    How was it?
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