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Thread: I am obese.

  1. #1
    Registered User redswitch's Avatar
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    I am obese.

    I'm a 25, soon to be 26 year old female.

    I estimate my weight to be around 200Kg, if not more.

    late 2017 I decided to make a change, at the time I was 212Kg (which was my highest weight to date). I struggled breathing and doing any mundane task. By that time I had been depressed for about a year, not seeing any of my friends and living as a recluse as my weight got worse.
    I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder September 2017 - after my mother begged me to go see someone, and then took me herself. Being diagnosed, the medication I took made me feel better after about a month and I started dieting. I decided to bant.

    Cutting cards was extremely difficult but after a week of serious banting I had already lost 6Kg and the motivation was there.
    I couldn't do much physical activity and started by doing situps on my bed.
    I stayed dedicated to my banting diet, but ended up not doing any exercise at all.
    The situps was a starting point, but I had never been someone who exercised and the act of it felt like a punishment on top of the dieting.
    Being at such a high weight made it so I could just diet and see good results.

    By the end of 2018 I had lost 61Kg I was at 151Kg - and I was feeling great.
    Unfortunately, my weight loss became stagnant and I did not lose much of anything for about 2-3 months.
    Over December I did not diet at all and I picked up 20Kg in about 2 months - leading into 2019.

    I decided to seriously start dieting again in Jan of 2019 - and kept it up until about June.
    I had a cheat weekend that turned into a cheat month and on and on.
    I find myself in Dec of 2019. At 200KG (no way of saying for sure I do not have a scale that can weigh me) - feeling absolutely horrible and mortified.
    My legs are swollen all the time. I can't move around properly. Can't breath. I'm a bitter person, irritated all the time.

    I let all my hard work go to waste. It goes without saying... I need to do something drastic.

    I just do not have the motivation.

    A video popped up into my recommends on YouTube.
    At the time I did not want to watch it, but I kept the tab open for about a week (not wanting to close it?) until I for some reason decided to watch it tonight.
    "The Incredible Shrinking Man | Jesse Shand Lost 350 Pounds" - which led me here.

    I am afraid of what will happen to me if I do not make any changes right now.
    I am unreliable and have difficulty in keeping myself accountable when my head is not in the right space.
    I fear I will die if I continue to ignore what I have let myself become.
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