I lost control and I need help

[guilleacq]

Hey guys, I am new here and I know how many posts there are out there so I appreciate you stopped for this one.
On 2017 I was extremely overweight: 15 year old, 5' 6" (168cm) and around 200lbs (90kg), fortunately I realized and started my journey which involved tons of bad eating habits until I felt I understood a bit more about nutrition: calories, macros, some micros and I was losing weight. Then, something happened.
I discovered how added sugar was affecting my behavior and after quitting it for 30 days, I decided I wanted it out of my life (as well as wheat and things our body shouldn't have to digest), but of course, here I am writing this. I have been stuck here for around a year now on the following cycle:
- I decide I want to eat clean
- I lift weights 5 times a week (it's a schedule I can actually do)
- I eat perfectly for around a week or maybe more
- I choose to eat something unhealthy for a certain occasion
- I feel extremely bad (physically and mentally)
- I start binging on these types of food for a day or more
- I decide I want to eat clean
and so on...

I have been stuck here for so long now, and I feel really bad about this. I am a bit overweight right now and I have a quite high bf %, I want to lose at least 10% body fat but whenever I do lose it and get it back almost immediately. This is affecting my self esteem, my mind and the way I see myself.

Also, my friends and family think I am this super healthy guy (what they see) but in reality, I am a sugar addicted dude who hasn't been able to put on more weight since the beginning of this year.

(I have also tried going to a doctor because this is clearly an eating disorder but the advice he provides is really poor)

What can I do to overcome this without actually going back to the addiction?

[AdamWW]

I don't believe in 'sugar addiction'... But I believe you can create horrible feedback loops where you demonize something so severely that it becomes all you think about it.

Stop labeling things as 'good' and 'bad', etc... just focus on living with balance.

if you can't maintain moderation with sugar, then just don't keep super sweet things at home, but stop punishing yourself when you eat something. It's just food... it ain't going to kill you.

If you have a genuine binge eating disorder, professional help is advised.

[gbullock32]

You are not sugar addicted, you are being overly restrictive with your diet for no reason and it leads to cravings. Sugar is fine, wheat is fine; everything in moderation.

You are likely eating too little and too strictly and your body is doing what it is built to do: not starve.

Your routine is also likely not very good; a proven beginner routine like Fierce 5 would probably be a vast improvement.

Post a full day of what you eat for some help there, but as a teen you will be fine eating to hunger cues, using moderation with 'junk' (it's fine to eat), and just aiming for a wide variety of foods.

[xsquid99]

Foods that are clean/dirty, good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, are terms that are way too easily thrown around these days. You need to change the way you think about food and approach your diet, and stop over-restricting yourself.

Here's a good article for you: https://completehumanperformance.com.../clean-eating/

[guilleacq]

Post a full day of what you eat for some help there, but as a teen you will be fine eating to hunger cues, using moderation with 'junk' (it's fine to eat), and just aiming for a wide variety of foods.

It largely depends on the day, when I do take care of myself; I usually have an omelette of 3 eggs in the morning with some mozzarella cheese and ham. Then I workout, sometimes I have a small protein shake after it. For lunch I usually take chicken breast with salad, avocado and some carbs (potatoes, whole wheat rice or something of the sort), then I usually have some balance between fruits, nuts or peanuts without salt and maybe a glass of milk and for dinner I usually just go for chicken breast with salad.

When I eat clean, I strive for a really balanced and clean diet. The problem is that the moment I touch something with added sugar on it, it's like I am temporarily posessed to ignore calories and eat everything.

Thanks for the tips

[guilleacq]

I will check it out, thanks for your reply

[AdamWW]

when I do take care of myself;

balance between fruits, nuts or peanuts without salt and maybe a glass of milk

When I eat clean, I strive for a really balanced and clean diet.

Clean...

Balanced...

All these buzz words are messing with your head.

Sugar tastes good... the thing is you seem to have this infatuation with things being 'clean' and 'dirty' such that sugary foods hold a power over you which makes you want them more.

[backinthegymbro]

Just start counting calories and spread your food out through out the day. Multiple smaller meals. Save 150-200 calories for before bed so you can eat something and not go to bed hungry.
Then stick to your calorie deficit.

If you keep binging anyway despite this, then you simply don't want a good physique badly enough.
We all enjoy junk food/sweets etc, but you gotta make sacrifices.
You can still eat chocolate or pizza etc, but you gotta fit it in your daily calories. Which means eat it less often and when you do eat it, only eat a piece or a slice instead of the whole thing.

[gbullock32]

It largely depends on the day, when I do take care of myself; I usually have an omelette of 3 eggs in the morning with some mozzarella cheese and ham. Then I workout, sometimes I have a small protein shake after it. For lunch I usually take chicken breast with salad, avocado and some carbs (potatoes, whole wheat rice or something of the sort), then I usually have some balance between fruits, nuts or peanuts without salt and maybe a glass of milk and for dinner I usually just go for chicken breast with salad.

When I eat clean, I strive for a really balanced and clean diet. The problem is that the moment I touch something with added sugar on it, it's like I am temporarily posessed to ignore calories and eat everything.

Thanks for the tips

Try having some of the foods you crave in there too, a candy bar wont hurt. Being too restrictive usually leads to intense cravings.