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  1. #1
    No Thanks Jefferson TheTyler2013's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Would you survive seeing your GF for 24 hours a week?

    So this is where I'm at right now;
    GF of 4 years with a 7 month break in the middle.

    I move out of town and she should have move with me but her dad suddenly got a heart attack and passed away 3 weeks ago. So she stayed home with her mom.

    I'm 1-1.5 hours away from her.
    I have to study in the college so I return only on weekends. So I can see her only half day of friday and half day of Saturday. So in total = 24 hours (including sleep at her place).
    So it leaves us with 16 active hours.
    Every week.

    Would you survive this deal? It's so difficult for me guys.. makes me think "should I break this thing up" but I stop myself because
    1. Her dad just passed away and I dont wanna make it worse with a break up.
    2. I convince myself that it will get better because right now she cant really visit me because she wants to be with her mom but maybe few more weeks, she'll start visiting me at least once a week.

    So what so you say guys?
    I mean 24 hours a week its nothing.
    2 rounds of sex.
    Lack of activities together because its literally only 24 hours.
    Lack of time together..
    It's hard guys.
    Last edited by TheTyler2013; 11-14-2019 at 12:38 AM.
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  2. #2
    Registered User Vrykul's Avatar
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    if 24 hours is too little for you maybe you should try guys phaggot
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  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Vrykul View Post
    if 24 hours is too little for you maybe you should try guys phaggot
    I dont know if you're srs..
    Dude its 24 hours. Once a week. That's all. 24 hours that you also sleep in between them, which means 16 hours that you are awake. That's all.

    16 hours, once a week, to see and be with your gf.

    Of these 16 hours alot goes on nothing.. I just study at her place and she's cooking because she helps her mom.
    And then all her family comes (for a family dinner on weekends).

    So I have absolutely no time with her alone.. think about it.
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  4. #4
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    Sounds ideal. Find another girl to **** during the week.

    Or if you really like her, have her visit you mid week?
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  5. #5
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    Originally Posted by Techriding101 View Post
    Sounds ideal. Find another girl to **** during the week.

    Or if you really like her, have her visit you mid week?
    Yeah but she wants to stay with her mom at home meanwhile.. so maybe few more weeks she will be able. And its costs about 27-28$ to get to me from her(and also go back) so it's also a matter of money for her..

    Idk dude.. that's sucks af seeing her once a week for 24 lame hours
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    To me the issue is not that you only see her once a week it's the lack of privacy.
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    thats life boyo if both people have busy lives you wont be seeing eachother 24/7

    you gotta learn to like being alone and appreciate the time you do spend with her

    plus seeing someone too much is never a good thing she'll start to drive you crazy
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    yeah thats too much, i couldnt handle that

    i need time to myself after a long day of cuddling and having to entertain a girl..

    but 24 hours? damn thats too much
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  9. #9
    Registered User InPhase's Avatar
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    I only used to see my fiance on weekends and days off till we bought a house together. We made it work. Would have liked to see her more, but we had busy lives and we got by.
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    lol meet up once a week for roots

    sounds like a pretty good deal to me
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    things going good with your ex brah?

    how'd yall manage to get over the trust issues from the break
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    So this is where I'm at right now;
    GF of 4 years with a 7 month break in the middle.

    I move out of town and she should have move with me but her dad suddenly got a hear attack and passed away 3 weeks ago. So she stayed home with her mom.

    I'm 1-1.5 hours away from her.
    I have to study in the college so I return only on weekends. So I can see her only half day of friday and half day of Saturday. So in total = 24 hours (including sleep at her place).
    So it leaves us with 16 active hours.
    Every week.

    Would you survive this deal? It's so difficult for me guys.. makes me think "should I break this thing up" but I stop myself because
    1. Her dad just passed away and I dont wanna make it worse with a break up.
    2. I convince myself that it will get better because right now she cant really visit me because she wants to be with her mom but maybe few more weeks, she'll start visiting me at least once a week.

    So what so you say guys?
    I mean 24 hours a week its nothing.
    2 rounds of sex.
    Lack of activities together because its literally only 24 hours.
    Lack of time together..
    It's hard guys.
    Her fookin dad just died

    Wtf?

    Man up
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  13. #13
    No Thanks Jefferson TheTyler2013's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Her fookin dad just died

    Wtf?

    Man up
    Yeah that's why I'm suffering for a whole month already without saying anything to her

    But to be honest, there will be a point that I wont be needed to "suffer" just because her dad just died. I mean maybe in a month or two.
    You basically telling me that I should stfu and suffer no matter what or when just because her dad died
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  14. #14
    No Thanks Jefferson TheTyler2013's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JadedJuan View Post
    things going good with your ex brah?

    how'd yall manage to get over the trust issues from the break
    Idk
    . I called her out on the tinder chit and about her lying to me and etc
    Found out she slept with 1 guy in these 7 months (also lied on this)

    Almost broke up 100 different times, but since her dad died we became stronger and better and I let it go

    But it was challenging af.. things are good now but as you can see we still suffer because now it turns to long distance relationship that I see her for 24 hours every week
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  15. #15
    No Thanks Jefferson TheTyler2013's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InPhase View Post
    I only used to see my fiance on weekends and days off till we bought a house together. We made it work. Would have liked to see her more, but we had busy lives and we got by.
    Yeah dude but it's not "on weekends" like you guys saw each other for whole 3 days of weekend. It's for 24 hours. Half day of Friday and half day of Saturday.
    It's impossible dude. Especially when were not really together and 90% of those 24 hours we're with her fam..
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    To me the issue is not that you only see her once a week it's the lack of privacy.
    Yeah you're 100% right. I feel suffocated because I only see her for 24 hours and 90% of these 24 hours are with her family..

    And I'm not really a family person so it feels really tense and we get only 2 or 3 hours really together with each other.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Rabbitjb's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    Yeah that's why I'm suffering for a whole month already without saying anything to her

    But to be honest, there will be a point that I wont be needed to "suffer" just because her dad just died. I mean maybe in a month or two.
    You basically telling me that I should stfu and suffer no matter what or when just because her dad died
    suffering?

    her dad died less than 4 weeks ago

    holy chit man
    Last edited by Rabbitjb; 11-14-2019 at 01:39 AM.
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    So this is where I'm at right now;
    GF of 4 years with a 7 month break in the middle.

    I move out of town and she should have move with me but her dad suddenly got a heart attack and passed away 3 weeks ago. So she stayed home with her mom.

    I'm 1-1.5 hours away from her.
    I have to study in the college so I return only on weekends. So I can see her only half day of friday and half day of Saturday. So in total = 24 hours (including sleep at her place).
    So it leaves us with 16 active hours.
    Every week.

    Would you survive this deal? It's so difficult for me guys.. makes me think "should I break this thing up" but I stop myself because
    1. Her dad just passed away and I dont wanna make it worse with a break up.
    2. I convince myself that it will get better because right now she cant really visit me because she wants to be with her mom but maybe few more weeks, she'll start visiting me at least once a week.

    So what so you say guys?
    I mean 24 hours a week its nothing.
    2 rounds of sex.
    Lack of activities together because its literally only 24 hours.
    Lack of time together..
    It's hard guys.


    So the plan was for her to move with you? 100% that was the plan?

    Why dont you give it another week, then it will be a month and ask her when she plans on moving with you.

    Does she work at all? were does she work, near her moms place or your place?
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  19. #19
    Registered User elterrible987's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    Idk
    . I called her out on the tinder chit and about her lying to me and etc
    Found out she slept with 1 guy in these 7 months (also lied on this)

    Almost broke up 100 different times, but since her dad died we became stronger and better and I let it go

    But it was challenging af.. things are good now but as you can see we still suffer because now it turns to long distance relationship that I see her for 24 hours every week

    so you were already close to breaking up before the dad died? also sounds like she got "caught" in her lie when she told you she didnt bang anyone and knew you could prove she banged atleast one guy, so she admitted to one, when she really probably banged a new guy every week. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt and saying she banged a new guy every 2 weeks, that is still 7*4/2 = 14 guys she banged while you were on "break". Also she could be banging new guys right now at their places all week long and you get sloppy seconds on the weekend.
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    suffering?

    her dad died less than 4 weeks ago

    holy chit man
    dude, don't make me look bad. I didn't say i'm gonna break up with her right now, I just letting you know i'm suffering and I think it's totally natural.. I mean yeah, she suffers of course, and i'm always there for her, but it doesn't mean I can't suffer myself.
    I'm a person as well, and in the current situation i'm in a bad relationship.. and I just wanted to hear you guys.
    I'm not gonna break her heart 3 weeks after her dad died, and i'm also not gonna do it in 2 months.

    But the question is - When can I do it? Because right now i'm suffering, and it's not working as you can see. Seeing your GF for 24 hours every week is a mess. sometimes I don't see her because I don't return home, and the only time I see her is the week after it, so 24 hours after 2 weeks of not seeing each other.
    Does it sound great to you?
    So yeah, I'm allowed to suffer.

    Originally Posted by elterrible987 View Post
    So the plan was for her to move with you? 100% that was the plan?

    Why dont you give it another week, then it will be a month and ask her when she plans on moving with you.

    Does she work at all? were does she work, near her moms place or your place?
    I live near my college and she already rented an apartment 20-30 minutes of my place.
    2 weeks later, her dad died and she got back to her parents' place, 1-1.5 hours away from me.
    She found a new guy who took her contract over the apartment that she found close to me.
    So we planned .. you know.. i'll go to my classes, she'll go to work, and then she'll come by to me because it's only 20 minutes away.
    But now.. it's impossible. Because she wants to stay with her mom, at her house, and to find a work there.
    She even won't go out with me (which is totally understandable because her dad just died), but I just wanted to show you her general mood of "I'm gonna stay with my mom from now on and I don't know for how long"

    Originally Posted by elterrible987 View Post
    so you were already close to breaking up before the dad died? also sounds like she got "caught" in her lie when she told you she didnt bang anyone and knew you could prove she banged atleast one guy, so she admitted to one, when she really probably banged a new guy every week. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt and saying she banged a new guy every 2 weeks, that is still 7*4/2 = 14 guys she banged while you were on "break". Also she could be banging new guys right now at their places all week long and you get sloppy seconds on the weekend.
    dude.. pls go.
    I mean comon.. you can see it's a serious thread, why would you spam here? and no, she banged only one guy, I know because I snooped her phone lol and read ALL her conversations. yeah we had some trust issues after we got back together because I felt like shes lying to me and as you can see I was right. but she confessed it all, and then I had a hard time letting it go and we fought alot because I called her a lying bitch every day, but then we decided to try it one last time, and 1 day after it her dad died.. so....
    and since then we're strong.
    but it's not what the thread is about, I opened so many threads about "should I break up with her or not", and I decided that i'm staying. So please only reply regarding the topic of the thread
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  21. #21
    Registered User Rabbitjb's Avatar
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    honestly you're not

    you're allowed to say "I'm so sorry about your dad, I really miss you. Can we spend the weekend together next week? will your mom cope do you think"

    and totally understand if the family isn't ready

    if you don't care then finish it

    nobody needs someone in their life who puts their own needs first during crisis
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    honestly you're not

    you're allowed to say "I'm so sorry about your dad, I really miss you. Can we spend the weekend together next week? will your mom cope do you think"

    and totally understand if the family isn't ready

    if you don't care then finish it

    nobody needs someone in their life who puts their own needs first during crisis
    Ok I get what you're trying to say and you are partly right. I mean yes, you are right. But... what about me? My feels are not considered any more? It's a serious question. Obvisouly it's a crisis and a terrible one, but does it mean I can't suffer from now on forever and I'm "stuck" even if it's hard?
    Try to understand my side as well.

    And I do all what you have said. I always tell her I'm here for you, and Iv been with her and her family for the whole week that after he died.

    So I do care about her. But it's so hard because I suffer as well and cant really change it.
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  23. #23
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    honestly you're not

    you're allowed to say "I'm so sorry about your dad, I really miss you. Can we spend the weekend together next week? will your mom cope do you think"

    and totally understand if the family isn't ready

    if you don't care then finish it

    nobody needs someone in their life who puts their own needs first during crisis

    Kind of agree with this. Not sure if OP has lost a parent before, don't expect you to understand if you haven't.

    Not saying your situation is ideal at all because it's far from it. Under normal circumstances I think most people wouldn't want to be in a 24 hour a week dynamic with someone they're seeing seriously but don't you think considering everything that's going on in your partners life this is a chit mentality to have?
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    Originally Posted by ReapingTheField View Post
    Kind of agree with this. Not sure if OP has lost a parent before, don't expect you to understand if you haven't.

    Not saying your situation is ideal at all because it's far from it. Under normal circumstances I think most people wouldn't want to be in a 24 hour a week dynamic with someone they're seeing seriously but don't you think considering everything that's going on in your partners life this is a chit mentality to have?
    yeah I 100% agree.. thats why i'm not breaking up with her or even telling her i'm suffering.. But as you said, it's so difficult to be in this type or relationship.. so I think it's natural to cry about it here on Misc..
    I mean what else can I do? Should I wait weeks? months? years? How much time should pass till I can allow myself to cry about something in the relationship without getting the "you should remember she lost her dad, so be considerate".. because i'm a person in the relationship as well.
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    7
    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    Ok I get what you're trying to say and you are partly right. I mean yes, you are right. But... what about me? My feels are not considered any more? It's a serious question. Obvisouly it's a crisis and a terrible one, but does it mean I can't suffer from now on forever and I'm "stuck" even if it's hard?
    Try to understand my side as well.

    And I do all what you have said. I always tell her I'm here for you, and Iv been with her and her family for the whole week that after he died.

    So I do care about her. But it's so hard because I suffer as well and cant really change it.
    have you got any type of psychopathy diagnosis?

    or any developmental disorder that affects your ability to bond or develop empathy?

    I'm being deadly serious here because you are exhibiting prime narcissism signals and advice will differ if you recognise these issues in yourself
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    yeah I 100% agree.. thats why i'm not breaking up with her or even telling her i'm suffering.. But as you said, it's so difficult to be in this type or relationship.. so I think it's natural to cry about it here on Misc..
    I mean what else can I do? Should I wait weeks? months? years? How much time should pass till I can allow myself to cry about something in the relationship without getting the "you should remember she lost her dad, so be considerate".. because i'm a person in the relationship as well.

    It's less about how long you wait and more about how you communicate what you have to say.
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    7

    have you got any type of psychopathy diagnosis?

    or any developmental disorder that affects your ability to bond or develop empathy?

    I'm being deadly serious here because you are exhibiting prime narcissism signals and advice will differ if you recognise these issues in yourself
    I recognise few issues related to feelings, empathy and etc..
    But with my friends or my girlfriend I'm not a narcissist and I always help and sacrifice my parts to help them (time & money)

    So I dont know.. what would you suggest and advice me if I do have this problems?
    Last edited by TheTyler2013; 11-14-2019 at 07:55 AM.
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    Originally Posted by TheTyler2013 View Post
    I recognise few issues related to feelings, empathy and etc..
    But with my friends or my girlfriend I'm not a narcissist and I always help and sacrifice my parts to help them (time & money)

    So I dont know.. what would you suggest and advice me if I do have this problems?
    work with a therapist to develop coping mechanisms for standard social cues

    read some dealing wjth grief books

    pretty sure this is trolling anyway
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    Damn that’s perfect (.

    I would be here telling her to take as much time as she needs lol
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    If your relationship can't survive this, it won't survive anything.

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