I am fat because I am stupid. I have screwed up bad.

[saiyandide]

I resurrected my account from 8 years ago. I can't help but feel I must hold myself accountable so please if you wish to ignore this post do so but I had to do it.

I started in 2010 I was at about 320lbs I am only 5'10 married full time job 3 kids and a flight of stairs might as well be a death sentence. I knew enough was enough. I joined here started to learn what I needed to do to lose the fat and build muscle. I tracked my eating, kept a strong deficit started to eat clean good food. Against all the nay sayers at work and my own wife I ended the same year at 210lbs still fat but not even close to what I looked like before.I was down 12 pant sizes stronger then ever before and a flight of stairs was not even going to wind me to run up.

Then after all my hard work fighting and scrapping to be the best I could my wife introduced me to World of Warcraft. As STUPID as it sounds I got hooked and fast. Before I knew it every free moment at home was not spent walking/jogging for a few miles at night.I was eating Chinese food and pizza every night leveling my character. My lunch breaks stopped being a hard push at the gym to the hardest I could push in a 60 minute time frame. I was instead saving the virtual world of Azeroth.

Here I am 8 years later a new job, 2 more sons and finally the recent power outage caused my pc to fry. Having moved from the city back to a more country area I did what I had to do. Go through the woods to find where the problem was to help the power company get it fixed sooner then later. While I was walking, panting, heart pumping it really hit me. I was wearing one of my old fat shirts and it was tight. I avoid the stairs at work, I keep buying bigger and bigger shirts, my steering wheel is uncomfortably close to my bulging gut. I feel avoid cameras at all social functions I refuse to look in the mirror other then to shave and comb my hair. That night when the lights came back I did what I needed to do for a long freaking time. I looked in the mirror hard look in the mirror.

My computer still sits there dead. I refuse to fix it I refuse to look at it. I have started back on my journey. This time I do not have to learn as much as I learned such a great deal 8 years ago thanks to this great forum. I have been in a calorie deficit every day. A coworker gave me his fitbit blaze when he got a new Samsung watch. (it helps remind me when I am sitting at the desk for too long/monitors heart rate and give me a calorie burned for the day I use it as a rough estimate) First 2 weeks were tough, lots of temptation, not lots of decent food in the house. That mirror though its there and when ever I got close to going for a pop, beer, comfort garbage food I looked in it. It was a fight of wills me vs myself but I would win because I physically forced myself to look in that damn mirror.

I am at about 4 weeks now and have gone from 298 to 277 large loss of water to be expected for the first few weeks. I really feel back in my grove temptations are pretty much null and void to me. My brain really feels like I am back in the right mindset for the first time in so so long. My support is low but my now 14 year old sees what I am doing and I know on some level he has my back. Like before my wife is skeptical saying I am in my 30s now its impossible blah blah blah.

People at this new job only have known Fat Me. It isn't till I recently showed them pictures of me at my lowest, my happiest that they realize that I am not just one of the fat fade dieters in the building. I got my best motivation today from one of the women that work there that is a fitness trainer at her local YMCA and by far the fittest person in the building. She asked me in the lunch room what I was eating (8oz chicken and steambag broc****) she gave me "THAT LOOK" the look a person gives a fat person that is yet again on "diet" that will never work out and a "yeah good luck with that". That doubt, as stupid as it sounds will help fuel me further and further.

If you made it this far let me just say THANK YOU! I know its probably a boring read but I just had to do this I HAD to get this out to people that would possibly understand. I will attach some pics one from this day 8 years ago and once of myself before starting back on my journey to the best me I can be.

[GoodBrotherHoot]

For me it just took something to click and say no more.

July 30 this year got back in the gym and started watching my diet. July 30 I was 231 and October 30 I'm at 210. 6'1" height. 4 nights a week in the gym.

Sounds like that's where you are and you're ready to make the change

[Frisko07]

You better not give up halfway through, man! Show your wife and children and that ***** coworker how it is done. Lift some weights and flex on the haters
Will follow you in case you update your stats sometimes. Weight-Loss success stories are my jam.
Keep going!

[grubman]

Be this guy... https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=176365321

[runuali]

When I was at my fattest, I was also into World of Warcraft, but I was already big and the game was not the reason for my bad health, it actually affected my home life more, I had young kids and a wife and it took the toll on them. So i quit after a while.

Fast forward several years, now I am in the best shape of my life (at the moment) and I came back to WoW recently, my kids are older now so they dont need that much attention, my wife has a good job so she is occupied, I am enjoying playing but ... my priority is my health, fitness and above all my family. Right now my goal is to finish my bulk and go into my 2nd cut.

When and if I have time I will relax with some WoW.

You can still play, engage in online gaming if you want, but you need to prioritise what is most important, then you will find the balance.

Best of luck!

[Tombo86]

Sounds to me like you've hit that "no more" moment in your life. You see two types of people who are giving up addiction or starting a similar journey. They ones who say "on January 1st I'm going to start getting healthy" and the ones who are sat there, struggling to put their socks on and go "no more. I'm done". The latter almost always succeed.

As you are rightly doing. Use that doubt from everyone to fuel you, especially at first. Once you're through that initial rough patch then living healthily will just become habitual. Weight loss/healthy lifestyle is all about changing your crappy old habits for better ones. I genuinely get excited when I see guys who have all this weight to lose because I know how awesome the journey can be if you fully embrace it. I only had 60lb to lose so nothing in comparison but it was the best decision I ever made (and yes, it was made while trying to put my socks on).

Keep it up OP. Be accountable for your actions, eat in a caloric deficit and try to move more and the weight will come off. There aren't many things in this world that are promised but if you put the work in and exercise some self discipline you WILL reach your goal, guaranteed.

[saiyandide]

First thanks all for the positive feedback.

I am still going strong not feeling any temptation even after sorting a metric F ton of candy from the 5 kids last night. Bought some more good food today meal prepping is really simple especially if you are like me don't get bothered eating the same thing most days. I have more energy already from eating less processed foods and getting daily veggies and cutting most sugar out.

I am sticking around 1400 calories a day I am only shooting for 1650 but almost every day I just feel full naturally and don't want anymore to eat. I am not trying to rush this along by any means. I know how long this takes and will be keeping that embedded in my mind should I ever stray from my path again.

I will make it a point to post an update next week just to keep myself accountable... sorry about this becoming a log, I know the sticky was there at the top but I wasn't originally intended for this to be. Although it is a bit of a break though from the usual already asked 1000 times questions though lol.

[NoGainNoPainBro]

Try to not go too low in calories right away. Your body will adapt during a diet and you will have to adjust calories down. Below 1400 there is not much room left to reduce.

[Josh100x]

Mind over matter. Great work getting back to it. Grab a bat and smash that computer. I'm helping my friend get fit and he mentioned he would love to just exercise on DDR. I think that's a great idea. Get more kids (and adults) who hate exercise to play videos games that incorporate exercise instead of sitting.

Find what works for you and keep at it.

[saiyandide]

Thanks for the support sirs! Still going strong no cheating or giving up. Just joined back to a gym (Planet Fitness meh) only thing close to me that's open when I need them to be. I went Monday for the first time and was very surprised at how weak I have become. Today my triceps and forearms are still hurting, not just sore but almost feeling like they are about to get a charlie horse in them. Still I am going back tonight I will do more cardio but still am going to push hard to work all my other muscle groups to failure.

[dawalsh]

Good luck man. I’m in my 40 now lost total of 120lbs in my 2 or 3 years journey. You can do it! For that coworker, she might have a legit concern. I was on that kind of diet before chicken and broc**** stuff. Question is can you keep eating that forever? beacause if you stop eating like that your weight might come back again. Not trying to put you down or anything, I was that guy before. I lost a lot of weight doing that, gained some back when I stopped. Do more research, eat something that is good and enjoyable for you for a long term. Or maybe you enjoy that what do I know? Hahaha anyway good luck!

[saiyandide]

Good luck man. I’m in my 40 now lost total of 120lbs in my 2 or 3 years journey. You can do it! For that coworker, she might have a legit concern. I was on that kind of diet before chicken and broc**** stuff. Question is can you keep eating that forever? beacause if you stop eating like that your weight might come back again. Not trying to put you down or anything, I was that guy before. I lost a lot of weight doing that, gained some back when I stopped. Do more research, eat something that is good and enjoyable for you for a long term. Or maybe you enjoy that what do I know? Hahaha anyway good luck!

I am a creature of habit when it comes to lunch I don't like to over think it. Eat to live NOT live to eat mentality. I change it up a good bit different veggies, maybe making it into a sandwich, sauces, throw it in a salad.... chicken is jsut perfect for me to meal prep my lunches for the week Sunday night while me and the older kids are watching walking dead. Just weigh it season or sauce it and bake it. Boom one week ready to go with what ever I decide to add or do with it in the morning. I also have frozen mixed fruit or sugar free jello as a dessert somedays with it.

I do understand you concern though I did exactly that after dropping my weight before, I got massively distracted by WoW and really didn't pay attention to most the rest of my life going on around me. Like looking back it was damn scary how much life I missed out on for that game.

I am also the cook for every meal in the house when I am home so I get to make my own version of every dinner for myself. Taco night means ground turkey with a bit of the diced tomatoes salsa and a dash of taco seasoning added to a huge bowl of all the lettuce left over from everyone's tacos. Usually am able to throw some sour cream and cheese in as well as 10 or so tortilla chips. Spaghetti night I make my sauce from jar ingredients I just measure out 3/4 a cup and cook seperatly from the big pot leaving the veggies more chunky and only have a single serving of noodles that I cook separate from the rest. Like I said I am getting better and better with coming up with creative ways to make each meal fit what I need as well with just a little on the fly thinking.



Tonight when telling my wife that I am going to the gym for my 3rd last day of the week she threw a huge fit. I was told that I am suffering from body dysmorphia that I am depressed, have gym addiction and other things like this. The truth is though that I feel better then I have in years and have been so positive it shows at home and work people are complementing how I seem happier and more positive so keeping with that I am not goinng to let it bother me and know 3 hours 3 days a weeks for myself isn't the end of the world.

[HomeGymChains]

Great job getting back toward healthy!

[ROCORezell]

You're gonna make it, bro. I gained 90 lbs and it never crossed my mind until I thought it was too late, but it's never too late. We're all gonna make it.

[saiyandide]

Welp been a bit since I last checked in. Couple funny stories to add.

Crappy story is that the day after Thanksgiving where I spend 2 hours in the freezing cold outside crying like a baby at my mothers grave I got in a car accident. I was at a complete stop when someone slammed into my from behind. Good news my 4 and 2 year old are 100% fine and unharmed. Myself I got a bit banged up concussion and sprained my left shoulder badly. Because of the concussion I can't seem to get my heart rate up too high like mid to high 90's BPM and I get dizzy as hell. I haven't been back to the gym since which has me heart broken right now. Doctor told me yesterday that I need to wait at least 2 more weeks to see if I have any improvements to the headaches and dizzy spells.

I am still loosing fat just at a slower rate because after all nutrition is the key and basics of cals in vs cals out I weighed in at 257 on Sunday. I have had a couple nights where I had to eat something I would rather not like tonight I was low on supplies and dinner plans went out the window when I discovered the ground meat I had was gag reflex bad. So Pizza it was for the kids and wife. I managed to hold myself to one slice and was able to make the last couple eggs I had a few slices of turkey bacon.

Now the funnier story is that last month or so at work I noticed that I get a bit of a ****ty attitude from one of the girls that was usually really overly sweet to me. She was out of the office for a bit due to some sort of surgery I noticed when she came back that she had also lost a little bit of weight. She is a VERY large girl like deep into the 300's club. (Not being a judgmental jerk just stating a fact) I didn't mention anything to her because I feel like mos the time if you mention a girls weight your going to get stabbed in the eye haha. Anyway today someone had let it slip while talking to me that there happy for me for losing weight and trying to be healthier unlike the previously mentioned girl. I asked why would she be "disgusted" with my progress. She had apparently let it slip that she was out because she had gastric bypass done to help her not eat so much and that "It isn't fair that I am making better progress then she is." I just find it so funny that my hard work is causing someone else to be upset that is really trying to just take a shortcut because its outpacing her. I do wish her all the best with her journey and hope she gets back to what she used to be 5 years ago because she was quite attractive.

Anyway TLDR to my rant is car accidents suck, jelly people are funny, and I am 7 pounds away from hitting my first short term goal of 250! Much love and reps to all the supportive people that have commented here. Thank you for being a group to keep me accountable.

[xsquid99]

Congrats on the weight loss dude, I'd say its about time to adjust those goals don't ya think? Seems to me that Long Term Goal should now move to a medium/short term goal.

[needgains1024]

You're right, it's all your fault, it's 100% your fault. I hope you're not looking to blame your wife, because she can't force you to sit on your arse and put food in that gob. Now you know what to do, be willing to turn away all the unhealthy food, track your macros and lift heavy ass weight. You know what to do, so knowledge is not the problem, the problem is your weak mentality, so prove people wrong, but most of all, prove it to yourself that you can do it. Good luck, because it's going to be hard, but hey, it wouldn't be a challenge if it was easy.

[needgains1024]

Welp been a bit since I last checked in. Couple funny stories to add.

Crappy story is that the day after Thanksgiving where I spend 2 hours in the freezing cold outside crying like a baby at my mothers grave I got in a car accident. I was at a complete stop when someone slammed into my from behind. Good news my 4 and 2 year old are 100% fine and unharmed. Myself I got a bit banged up concussion and sprained my left shoulder badly. Because of the concussion I can't seem to get my heart rate up too high like mid to high 90's BPM and I get dizzy as hell. I haven't been back to the gym since which has me heart broken right now. Doctor told me yesterday that I need to wait at least 2 more weeks to see if I have any improvements to the headaches and dizzy spells.

I am still loosing fat just at a slower rate because after all nutrition is the key and basics of cals in vs cals out I weighed in at 257 on Sunday. I have had a couple nights where I had to eat something I would rather not like tonight I was low on supplies and dinner plans went out the window when I discovered the ground meat I had was gag reflex bad. So Pizza it was for the kids and wife. I managed to hold myself to one slice and was able to make the last couple eggs I had a few slices of turkey bacon.

Now the funnier story is that last month or so at work I noticed that I get a bit of a ****ty attitude from one of the girls that was usually really overly sweet to me. She was out of the office for a bit due to some sort of surgery I noticed when she came back that she had also lost a little bit of weight. She is a VERY large girl like deep into the 300's club. (Not being a judgmental jerk just stating a fact) I didn't mention anything to her because I feel like mos the time if you mention a girls weight your going to get stabbed in the eye haha. Anyway today someone had let it slip while talking to me that there happy for me for losing weight and trying to be healthier unlike the previously mentioned girl. I asked why would she be "disgusted" with my progress. She had apparently let it slip that she was out because she had gastric bypass done to help her not eat so much and that "It isn't fair that I am making better progress then she is." I just find it so funny that my hard work is causing someone else to be upset that is really trying to just take a shortcut because its outpacing her. I do wish her all the best with her journey and hope she gets back to what she used to be 5 years ago because she was quite attractive.

Anyway TLDR to my rant is car accidents suck, jelly people are funny, and I am 7 pounds away from hitting my first short term goal of 250! Much love and reps to all the supportive people that have commented here. Thank you for being a group to keep me accountable.

You're doing this for yourself, who gives a **** what others think. It's easy for others to feel envy with someone elses success, but the difference between winners and losers, is that winners do what it takes to win.

[ItalianDomenic]

Great job so far. Definitely need to keep doing it for you.

I can completely relate, though from the other end of the spectrum. I battled ulcerative ****tis for 3 years, with the end being toxic mega-colon. I was 120 lbs lying in a hospital bed without enough strength to lift myself up. Doctors, family, friends, etc....said I'd never be able to get back to where I was gym wise before being diagnosed. Made it half-way back and then lost another year due to a cardiac arrhythmia. Now working back to the pre-UC weight of 220 at ~12%bf.

Best of luck. Just don't let others get in your head.

[BS57]

Didn't read everything, but here goes....

Glad your kids are OK! If you recently lost your Mother, sorry for your loss (see my sig).

There's a difference of making poor decisions, and being stupid.

That is unless you fail to learn from those poor decisions, then you may in fact be stupid.

Don't take this lay-up period as a time to fall back into old ways OP. Keep on top of it, and most of all keep a good attitude.

You've come a long way, congrats!

[wilsonthecat]

keep pushing brother

[saiyandide]

So it has been way longer then I should have gone without an update but here it is.Feb progress.jpg

Took me a little longer to get there then I had hopped. But I am now within 11.5lbs of another short term goal, which is also the lowest weight I have ever been in my adult life. I can't wait until summer time when there will be so much outside work to do and fun to be had with my kids. No more fat blob dad holding us back form having fun.

[CBRIT89]

Hey man, just want to say you're kicking ass despite a few setbacks on the way.

Keep it going!

[HomeGymChains]

Congrats!
Way to go!

[scrossmaggard]

Dang dude! Way to go!

[saiyandide]

It has been a few months but I have kept at it best I could. Dealing with an tendon issue in my left foot waiting to get into a specialist. I can only do moderate pace walking before it swells to the point my sock digs into my skin. Regardless I will not be stopped. I am now officially at the lowest weight/bf% since I was an early teen. This weeks weigh in ticked the official under 200lbs mark. It felt so good to see that scale show a 1 in the first digit field. I started this at 296 so almot a third of myself in fat gone.

Thank you, to everyone with the positive support and encouraging words. Time to revise my goals, going to make 185 my new short term and my final long term to be 170.

[SkinnyFat]

Amazing progress; you are doing a great job!

I also fell into the trap of saving Azeroth and took me 120lb gain to realize I needed a change.

Truly inspiring.

[GJM753]

Superb progress, well done, keep up the good work man you are looking great,

[MSKFAHIM]

The site won't let me post my full response. I'm forced to write it elsewhere and share the link: https://justpaste.it/52efc

IF you are a moderator reading this, think you can help diagnose why I can't write all of that here?

[MeadxHole]

The site won't let me post my full response. I'm forced to write it elsewhere and share the link: https://justpaste.it/52efc

IF you are a moderator reading this, think you can help diagnose why I can't write all of that here?

There is a max length on posts. I found that out through trial and error haha just cut it in half and post again.

And congrats OP - keep it up. Make it a lifestyle, maintain a weight you're happy at and build some muscle. The more muscle you have the easier it is to stay lean (more lean muscle mass = more calories burned naturally)