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    Registered User aliceee1's Avatar
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    scared to lift weights at the gym help :(

    hi everyone!
    this is my first post here - i am 20 and female. I've been going to the gym for around 1.5 yrs now and have been doing very 'basic' weight lifting - by this i mean just using dumbells, kettlebells, maybe the occasional barbell. i have gotten stronger through this but i have always had goals but can NEVER reach them due to anxiety in the gym. in short, my goals are to build bigger glutes and quads (typical i know) and also substantially grow my upper body muscles. i have the 'peach plan' workout guide my meggan grubb which ive done a bit of. basically, im sick of going to the gym and never doing anything new and being scared to use the squat rack, smith machine, do deadlifts, to go in the free weights section with all the men etc. here are my main things holding me back:
    1. worried about trying to find things in the gym (walking around looking for a particualr machine and looking stupid and like i dont know what im doing)
    2. worried i'll try to use the equipment and fail or embarrass myself or dont know what to do
    3. worried i do something wrong and everyone thinks im stupid

    ALSO starting monday i really want to get over all of this and do everything i've always wanted and reach my goals. i want to do all of these things but i also dont really know what to do week to week to see the results i want and to do it right?!

    sorry if this was all over the place... i really appreciate any help, thank you so much in advance
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    Registered Amuser bea5twood's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aliceee1 View Post
    hi everyone!
    this is my first post here - i am 20 and female. I've been going to the gym for around 1.5 yrs now and have been doing very 'basic' weight lifting - by this i mean just using dumbells, kettlebells, maybe the occasional barbell. i have gotten stronger through this but i have always had goals but can NEVER reach them due to anxiety in the gym. in short, my goals are to build bigger glutes and quads (typical i know) and also substantially grow my upper body muscles. i have the 'peach plan' workout guide my meggan grubb which ive done a bit of. basically, im sick of going to the gym and never doing anything new and being scared to use the squat rack, smith machine, do deadlifts, to go in the free weights section with all the men etc. here are my main things holding me back:
    1. worried about trying to find things in the gym (walking around looking for a particualr machine and looking stupid and like i dont know what im doing)
    2. worried i'll try to use the equipment and fail or embarrass myself or dont know what to do
    3. worried i do something wrong and everyone thinks im stupid

    ALSO starting monday i really want to get over all of this and do everything i've always wanted and reach my goals. i want to do all of these things but i also dont really know what to do week to week to see the results i want and to do it right?!

    sorry if this was all over the place... i really appreciate any help, thank you so much in advance
    Cool story
    You want someone to help you to stop worrying?

    Watch youtube videos and learn the movements properly at home if you're that scared.
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  3. #3
    Registered User aliceee1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bea5twood View Post
    Cool story
    You want someone to help you to stop worrying?

    Watch youtube videos and learn the movements properly at home if you're that scared.
    hey, i watch a lot of youtube videos and think i've built up good knowledge on what to do, its just actually doing it in the gym in front lf everyone that worries me i guess. just need to really get over that otherwise i'll get no where!
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    Registered Amuser bea5twood's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aliceee1 View Post
    hey, i watch a lot of youtube videos and think i've built up good knowledge on what to do
    So do it

    What are you looking for a pep talk? Lol
    go to the gym with a friend. They can offer support. Be your cheerleader.
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    Originally Posted by aliceee1 View Post
    here are my main things holding me back:
    1. worried about trying to find things in the gym (walking around looking for a particualr machine and looking stupid and like i dont know what im doing)
    2. worried i'll try to use the equipment and fail or embarrass myself or dont know what to do
    3. worried i do something wrong and everyone thinks im stupid
    In case it helps:

    - We've all been there at some point when we started. You sound like you've done your research and it's just working out, there's no need for stage fright.

    - Most people in the gym don't care what you're doing, they have their own workouts to do.

    - If guys are staring at you, they're likely ogling you and not mentally evaluating your lateral raise technique.

    - Meatheads feel the same way when they get on a treadmill w/ controls that look like an airplane cockpit.

    - For squats and deadlifts specifically, start out very light, or w/ just the bar, or nothing at all - and practice your form well and increase weight slowly. It's good to have a little bit of fear of these two, since it should keep you focused on proper form.

    - You can always work out at times when there's less people if that helps ease you into it.

    Just get out there and do it, take the plunge.
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    Most people at the gym aren't there watching you workout, they're there working out. Most machines have instructions on them. Most gyms also have PTs you could ask. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself because it's unlikely anyone will even notice.

    You say you've watched a lot of workout videos, right? And they're using the gym equipment, yes? Try doing some sets on the machines you've seen being used and adjust the weight as you progress and build.
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    If you're worried about not knowing what to do week to week for results... follow a plan! There are many on here, many on the internet, etc. It's pretty easy to see which ones are popular. I believe the stickies in the women's forum have good ones for suggestion. It's pretty much how I started until I learned enough to write my own programs.

    As for in the gym... well, you just have to find your way to build confidence. I started out at home until I was fortunate enough to acquire some sponsor gym memberships, I couldn't afford a gym back then. But then I dove in. I'm sure I made some dumb mistakes... heck, I still drop ****, fall on my ass, find new specialized equipment I don't know how to use, etc. As was mentioned above, maybe a gym friend could help you? Until recently, I always worked out alone, so I just figured it out!

    We all started somewhere, nobody walks into the gym knowing how to do everything. They learn by watching, asking, trial and error, etc.
    NPC WPD Nationally Qualified | 2018 Arnold Amateur WPD Top 3 | 2x WPD Pro World Champion (INBA/DFAC)

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    Focus on yourself kimm4's Avatar
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    Get yourself started on a decent program focused around the important compound lifts. These are key to building/growing a solid foundation. Most people in the gym are focused on their own workouts...trust me they don't care what you're doing. Go to the gym, hit it hard and go home.

    Also, if you're looking to build more muscle you need to create a calorie surplus though your diet. You can lift all the weight in world, but if you're not eating enough to grow nothing changes.

    You'll be fine.
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    Originally Posted by ProYeo View Post
    If you're worried about not knowing what to do week to week for results... follow a plan! There are many on here, many on the internet, etc. It's pretty easy to see which ones are popular. I believe the stickies in the women's forum have good ones for suggestion. It's pretty much how I started until I learned enough to write my own programs.

    As for in the gym... well, you just have to find your way to build confidence. I started out at home until I was fortunate enough to acquire some sponsor gym memberships, I couldn't afford a gym back then. But then I dove in. I'm sure I made some dumb mistakes... heck, I still drop ****, fall on my ass, find new specialized equipment I don't know how to use, etc. As was mentioned above, maybe a gym friend could help you? Until recently, I always worked out alone, so I just figured it out!

    We all started somewhere, nobody walks into the gym knowing how to do everything. They learn by watching, asking, trial and error, etc.
    I knew I recognized your picture. I started following you on IG a couple of weeks ago. You look AMAZING!!!
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    Want to be the BIGGEST! ProYeo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NerdyLady View Post
    I knew I recognized your picture. I started following you on IG a couple of weeks ago. You look AMAZING!!!
    Well, thank you very much!
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    Honest I wouldn't worry. Usually some guy will be more than happy to show you how to use equipment, so long as you're polite and say thank you.
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    I know how it feels. I have a trick that helped me with my anxiety at the gym. Or other public place: People are in reality not thinking about you. People are thinking about what you think about them. So if you understand that this is common and that most people actually don't care about what others are doing.. It's a relief. Most don't even notice if you would do something embarassing. We are all there to improve
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    Originally Posted by air2fakie View Post
    In case it helps:

    - We've all been there at some point when we started. You sound like you've done your research and it's just working out, there's no need for stage fright.

    - Most people in the gym don't care what you're doing, they have their own workouts to do.

    - If guys are staring at you, they're likely ogling you and not mentally evaluating your lateral raise technique.

    - Meatheads feel the same way when they get on a treadmill w/ controls that look like an airplane cockpit.

    - For squats and deadlifts specifically, start out very light, or w/ just the bar, or nothing at all - and practice your form well and increase weight slowly. It's good to have a little bit of fear of these two, since it should keep you focused on proper form.

    - You can always work out at times when there's less people if that helps ease you into it.

    Just get out there and do it, take the plunge.
    These are all excellent points. I started lifting 10+ years ago but I'm an anxious person (and an introvert), and still get anxious when I need to do new exercices, try a new machine, a new gym, etc. Heck, I once almost fell on my face doing cable face pulls. **** happens! And I know what you mean by 'walking around looking for a machine'. That's the kind of thing that makes me feel weird as well. But now I just walk around like I'm confident anyways... Because really, no one cares if you cannot find a machine and walk around 'like an idiot'. That's something YOU feel but not something people will notice. Just accept being a little uncomfortable.

    Honestly the best thing for me is to put some music that pumps me up (Rage Against the machine will do) and go when the gym is empty or at least, less full. You'll never catch me lifting at 5pm with the crowds. I'd rather go at 5am so I can be by myself. Also, googling videos will help, as well as having a clear plan you want to follow.

    Lifting has given me so much confidence overall, it's well worth taking the plunge.
    Mom of two boys.

    Competed for the first time in 2019.
    Building some more until next comp, in 2020.
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    Most gyms have a small staff. If you ask them nicely, they'll probably be happy to show you how to use the _____.
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    Originally Posted by Caldef View Post
    Honest I wouldn't worry. Usually some guy will be more than happy to show you how to use equipment, so long as you're polite and say thank you.
    ^This. I hold women in the weight section in the highest regard. I'm proud of you all for getting real. Much more so than the lunk head juicers that can't walk straight through a doorway. Anyone will spot you if you ask.
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    The gym doesn't worry me. But go in the later evening with fewer people to worry about.

    If you have the money, buy a home gym set. Squat, bench and deadlift can be done for $300.
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