Fresh start.

[CBRIT89]

85.7kg this morning. 0.7kg to go. I think this is one of those low days though, so expecting 86.x tomorrow.

My day is as follows:

0630 1hr Workout
0730 20 minutes of basketball and shuttle runs

1145 1 hour of cycling at high intensity

1800 Evening walk

That'll give me allowance to eat around 3000 calories today and still be under by 400 or so. That's another contributor to an 86.x weigh in tomorrow morning!

[CBRIT89]

0700 1hr workout
1230 1 hour walk

Possibly go out for a bike ride later. Not sure.

Either way, feeling reasonable today. Below photo shows 7 week improvement, which is minimal but still progress.

[CBRIT89]

Last few days have been reasonable. I've eaten over my calorie count for the last couple of days, and need to eat a bit less for the next couple of days to balance it out.

Hoping for around 86kg for the weigh in tomorrow. If I don't hit 86kg, then no worries - I'm only aiming for 85kg on the 28th, so still more than 2 weeks remaining.

[CBRIT89]

Solid workout this morning, with the normal planned workout and an additional core specific workout. Might go for a bike ride later if the weather holds, but I have so much on today that it'll be a struggle to find time.

Really need a solid day of eating as the last three days now have been 200-40) above maintenance. Not awful, but I really don't want this to keep slipping.

[CBRIT89]

I'm just 0.9kg away from my goal weight. This comparison is of November 2019 when I was 89.5kg and of today at 85.9kg.

I hit a mental low after the photo on the left, andI binged from the day after this photo until mid March at which point I was 100kg.



I thought I was looking pretty good, and felt really lean, but 3 months of strict diet and exercise have shown that my body composition wasn't great, and I still had so much fat that I could lose.

Really looking forward to starting a bulk and seeing some improvements in LBM.

[Ondle]

Great job man. You are an inspiration. I’m pretty much where you were with the binge eating. It sucks, but I know I can get past it I just have to be patient a little bit. I think I’m gonna make a log here as well and post daily for accountability.

[CBRIT89]

Great job man. You are an inspiration. I’m pretty much where you were with the binge eating. It sucks, but I know I can get past it I just have to be patient a little bit. I think I’m gonna make a log here as well and post daily for accountability.

Cheers for the comments. Binge eating certainly sucks, and yes, it is just patience and taking things step by step. I'd love to say that I know the cure or what to do, but I really had it forced on me - I couldn't risk getting COVID and passing it to my pregnant wife, my high risk parents or my newborn nephew, and therefore I wouldn't go into the shops to buy the food.

Progress in the last few days:

Went for a run. I don't normally run because of my weight and my false hips, but I ended up running a constant 20 minutes at around 8:45 a mile. That's slow compared to 4 years ago where I could do a 7:40 min/mile 10km, but it's alright for a 190lb guy with false hips that never runs!

Workouts have been solid. Haven't dropped any weights or sets, and have continued to increase some of them - most likely as I have eaten at a slightly above maintenance figure on 3 or so of the last 6 days.

Weight-wise I weighed in today at 85.4kg, which is just 0.4kg away from my cut goal. I've now got 12 days to lose that final 0.4kg - normally I would say easy, but I have a birthday BBQ coming up, and a fathers day meal as well, so there will be a few challenging social events to face up to. It should still be simple enough to lose 0.4kg!

[CBRIT89]

5.5km non-stop swim this morning. Arms are feeling it now. Weighed in at 86kg. Not concerned if I miss that 85kg now - wife is already saying too skinny in the face.

[CBRIT89]

Cycled 61 miles / 99km today and was home by 1100 - feels great to set your mind to something, achieve it and be home before some people are even functioning properly.

Food Diary for a day like today:

Porridge + Raspberry, Blueberry and Raisins (480)
Protein Shake (120)
Flapjack (330)
Greek Yoghurt + Nectarine, Peach, Apple and Grapes. (500)
Egg, Beans, Spinach and Halloumi with a slice of toast (600)
Protein shake (120)
Chicken, chips and salad (700)
Protein Brownie (300)

Calories Total 3150

- Daily TDEE: 2300
- Bike Ride: 1600

Total: -750

That's what I call a great day

[CBRIT89]

This thread is an embarrassing reminder of how I fail and succumb to depression and my eating disorder over and over again.

I'm 99.2kg, down from 100.8kg. No aims of getting to a certain weight right now - just trying to exercise regularly.

This thread is now a reminder of however many times I have failed, I can still succeed.

GOAL WEIGHT #1 ACHIEVED!!!!

I hit 85.1kg on the scales today, meaning I have now lost 15.5kg, and hit the cutting goal I had set myself!

I'm now going to lean bulk for the next 12 weeks, eating 300-500 calories above maintenance and following the All Pros routine.

I guess the aim is to gain 3-4kg in that time and re-evaluate the next steps as to if I should cut again for the 6 weeks up to Christmas and then bulk again during the gluttony and excess of Christmas meals.

[AlexSays]

This thread is now a reminder of however many times I have failed, I can still succeed.

GOAL WEIGHT #1 ACHIEVED!!!!

I hit 85.1kg on the scales today, meaning I have now lost 15.5kg, and hit the cutting goal I had set myself!

I'm now going to lean bulk for the next 12 weeks, eating 300-500 calories above maintenance and following the All Pros routine.

I guess the aim is to gain 3-4kg in that time and re-evaluate the next steps as to if I should cut again for the 6 weeks up to Christmas and then bulk again during the gluttony and excess of Christmas meals.

Massive news! well done dude. Struggling with an eating disorder must make this journey twice as hard so respect for that!

Sorry I only posted at the end of the log but looks like an inspiring journey

[CBRIT89]

Cheers, it certainly makes it difficult to cut when you can't concentrate on anyone or anything because your brain is obsessing over eating and sending all of those impulse signals. These past 100 days have been brutal at times, but the end result is that I have lost over 34lbs and I would (now) be pretty confident that 28-30lbs were fat.

Just noted you've started a thread - will check it out and keep tracking.

[AlexSays]

cheers for subbing, we are now trading posts :P Is this the end of the log or are you going to keep posting here? If so will definitely sub

[CBRIT89]

I'll still check in and post, just less frequently. As I am bulking for 12 weeks i'll probably just update with a weekly progress report and then get back to daily accountability once bulk has finished and I move back to the cut phase - figure I will be aiming for 84kg on the next cut.

[AlexSays]

Good luck dude, I find sometimes bulking is much more frustrating than cutting. Results are slower and less linear

Lifts going up feel fookin amazing after a cut though!

[CBRIT89]

First week of All Pro's is done.

Monday: All Pros Heavy Day
Squat - 8r of 0kg, 10kg, 20kg, 20kg
Bench Press - 8r of 20kg, 50kg, 87.5kg
Deadlift - 8r of 20kg, 50kg, 70kg, 70kg
Overhead Press - 8r of 20kg, 30kg, 40kg, 40kg
Bicep Curl - 8r of 13kg, 15.5kg, 25.5kg, 25.5kg
Bent over Row - 8r of 20kg, 30kg, 42.5kg, 42.5kg
Standing Calf Raise - 8r of 20kg, 25kg, 45kg, 45kg

Tuesday: Abs
Decline Crunch 5x 20r
Hanging Leg Raise: 4x 5r
Hanging Knee Raise: 4x 5r
Side Bends: 4x 39kg
Plank: 4x 1 Minute
Flat Leg Raise: 4x 10r

Wednesday: All Pro's Medium Day
90% of Monday weights

Thursday: Abs Repeat

Friday: All Pro's Light Day
80% of Monday weights

Saturday: Abs Repeat

I've hit my protein goal every day this week, with a mass gainer thrown in for good measure. Today features Tuna steak and Chicken steaks, which means today is awesome.

Next week will be a repeat of this week, but with an extra rep added to all exercises @ the same weight. Continue this for 5 weeks, and if I complete all reps at the 5 week point then I can go up 10%.

[CBRIT89]

Update on the last few months.

Depression hit me really hard.
Motivation went out of the window.
Binge eating disorder hit me really hard.
Building work started on my house, meaning no space to work out.
Sack truck wheel collapsed and a fridge freezer fell onto my ankle. I still can't walk without pain.
Last few months of my wife's pregnancy have been mentally full on.
My first born arrived 2.5 weeks ago, and I am absolutely exhausted.


So where are we?

Weak, limping and sleep deprived. If abs are made in the kitchen, my abs are in pieces right now. I have my cooking stuff spread all over the house right now and the actual kitchen is in a skip right now.

I'm feeling a little bit better though, and I am pretty confident that I will be back to where I should be in no time.

Was: 100kg+ in March
Then: 85kg in July
Now: 95kg in October
Aim: 85kg by March 2021

I'm still really time pushed as I have to build and decorate half of the house whilst raising a newborn, but I have managed the weight loss before, I can do it again.

[CBRIT89]

I'm still in a state. Generally struggling with finding the motivation for strength work. Not able to do any cardio work. My ankle is FUBAR and may need to be fused or have the joint completely replaced.

I'm trying to find the motivation, but depression is a deep hole to climb out of, and there are too many things stopping me from exercising - I really hope that i'll be able to empty all the building stuff out of my gym by the end of next week.

[AlexSays]

Don't give up man! you can do it. Sorry to hear things have been hard recently, hate it when life hits you all at once and any control you felt you had goes out the window but if you did it once you can do it again

I'll still be following ya whether you reach your goals or not so keep coming here either way

[CBRIT89]

Cheers, I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is just visible, now I just need to get there. Another couple of weeks and I think I'll be on it again mentally.

[CBRIT89]

Had confirmation that my ankle is ****ed. It's going to need surgery, and i'll be in a protective boot and likely crutches until that time.

Made the decision that I need to be as light as I can in order to make my life easier for the next months or year. That means no efforts to try and build muscle - I don't even care if I lose muscle at this point. I can get it back.

78kg here I come.

[CBRIT89]

For anybody following, I'm going to start a new thread.

The ankle injury means that my aims from this thread are no longer the same, and I really am struggling thinking about everything I used to do and what I cannot do again.

New thread incoming.