Fresh start. I don't want to go digging out a thread of disappointment after disappointment. Going to hit it hard this time.
Aims:
Q1 2020
Sub 14s 25m (19s as of Oct 19)
Sub 30s 50m (38s as of Oct 19)
Sub 2:30 200m (3:00 as of Oct 19)
Sub 5:45 400m (Not benchmarked yet)
Q2 2020
Top 3 in 1500m Swim (3rd in 2019)
Top 20 in 9km Swim (Never competed at this distance)
Q3 2020
Top 50 in 3300m Swim (67/2667 in 2019)
Q4 2020
Undecided
Naturally I have lifting aims and weight loss aims, but I can't set 2020 goals until I complete 2019.
All I know for sure is that 93.2kg is too much, and I am sorting this **** out.
Goodbye excess weight, goodbye eating disorder. Hello massive action.
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Thread: Fresh start.
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10-06-2019, 12:58 PM #1
Fresh start.
A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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10-07-2019, 10:47 PM #2
Good start - now that the last binge is out of my system I've dropped to 91kg.
Aim is 1kg a month - anything more becomes too drastic a cut and I typically end up bingeing really badly. Plus, training aims - can't afford to be weak when I'm busting my ass doing sprints.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-03-2019, 08:55 AM #3
25m now 16s
50m now 36s
100m now 77s
Don't know what my weight is and don't particularly care, all I know is that I am a little slimmer than I was and I feel fitter.
Went bouldering last week for the first time ever, and found I really enjoyed it. Got a membership with them...
Also went to a swim club for the first time in 15 years, and enjoyed that as well. Got a membership here as well!
Bouldering 2x a week, swim club 3x a week, weights 3x a week.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-04-2019, 04:41 AM #4
Decided to weigh myself.
91.9kg today.
It's lower than a month ago, and I'm lifting more than a month ago. Things are moving in the right direction.
I could be at my goal weight in 5 months without doing anything drastic. That's the key.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-05-2019, 10:37 AM #5
Having weighed yesterday, I wanted to get a comparison and average by weighing again.
91.2kg today.
Rest day today, boulder and swim club tomorrow. They'll be killer workouts again.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-06-2019, 05:56 AM #6
90.9kg
Bouldering AM
Cycle commute AM/PM
Swim Club PM
160g protein, which is 1g/lb of LBM, 2400 calories for the day. Deficit of 800-1000, so I'll adjust up a bit tomorrow.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-07-2019, 10:38 PM #7
Swim club on Wednesday was cancelled due to a code brown earlier in the day, so I did a solo technique session in another pool.
Had swim club yesterday and it was a brutal workout. Really pushing the limits of what my body can do from a sprint perspective as I'm an endurance swimmer.
Weight today: 90kgA.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-10-2019, 11:40 PM #8
Continued with the normal fitness routine, and weight has continued to drop.
Weight today: 89.8kg
I'm down nearly 3.5kg now, which means the water weight element has gone and I'm actually losing real weight now.
Consistently eating high protein meals, and turning down desserts and treats. I've got three days in London ahead of me, and no possibility of cooking my own food - this is the first big challenge I'm facing in terms of having overcome binge eating disorder.
I'm over 2 weeks clean, and determined not to let myself fall back into bad habits.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-11-2019, 01:19 PM #9
Today was the toughest day in the last three weeks.
Colleagues bought big pizzas each, and I really struggled as they looked and smelt amazing.
I then spent 30 minutes looking for somewhere to eat for my evening meal, eventually settling for burger (without bun, mayo, slaw or cheese) and fries as it's just meat and potatoes really.
I have to eat breakfast on the run and that meant buying food this evening. I've gone for a Clif bar as it's 9g of protein and an easy 260 calories, and quite filling.
Who knows what my lunch and dinner will be - I'm supposed to be schmoozing and networking at a drinks reception in early evening. I'll be stone cold sober.
TL;DR - I'm really struggling today, but have made it through. If I can just get through this trip away then I'll know I can make it.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-11-2019, 11:28 PM #10
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11-12-2019, 07:39 AM #11
Thanks, having another tough day and have been snacking a little too much as there are so many great little nibbles at this conference.
Figure I've eaten 2000 calories so far today. That leaves me with 700 more for the day unless I go to the gym and burn some more. I should be able to get through the next 5 hours with just the one meal ...A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-14-2019, 04:30 AM #12
Had a binge episode. I sometimes struggle with travelling, and two nights alone in a hotel room was not good for me.
I'm back on it again today, and have done far less damage that I would normally - a binge is often 5-7 days of 7000+ calories, so it's an improvement to have only had one really bad day of +8000 calories.
I can fix this in a week...A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-14-2019, 03:24 PM #13
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11-25-2019, 08:32 PM #14
Cats out the bag now. My family are now aware of my binge eating disorder, and I'm going to see the Doctor about it next month.
I feel this is the corner I needed to turn. Given that I have put on 10lbs of muscle this year whilst eating ****, I'd like to think that I can achieve my 2020 goals with the support of my family.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-26-2019, 02:12 PM #15
4 days clean. Weighed in at 90.5kg this morning - 0.6kg up on my lowest weigh in of the year. Considering my bad binge 5 and 6 days back, i call that a major win.
A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-27-2019, 03:59 AM #16
90.6kg today. Did ICF Workout B today, lifts remained constant. Happy enough with that - could have pushed a little harder but swim club tonight, and again tomorrow.
Today will be 5 days binge free.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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11-27-2019, 11:35 PM #17
90kg today and going for 6 days binge free.
Sucked at swim practice yesterday - really didn't have it in me. It's all about the process though - I know the training works, and it will deliver results. I just have to look longer term - I've found the big chunks of time, and now it's about whittling it down over weeks and months.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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12-03-2019, 12:36 AM #18
91.6kg today, and I'm hoping that some of that is water weight etc rather than fat gain. Obviously four days in Italy and their food wasn't good for me, but I felt as though I had eaten better than a 3lb gain.
Hoping for 91kg tomorrow and then 90kg again in a week.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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12-28-2019, 08:16 AM #19
Hit 100kg on my bench press today, which is an improvement of 50kg in 5 months.
Weight is 94.1kg right now as I've had an ankle injury, was unable to exercise, binged a few times and then Christmas.
Back on track atm.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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12-29-2019, 12:35 AM #20
93.5kg
1750m Swim + 250m Kickboard
Return to swim club in a week, and I am determined to be 92kg or less. I don't want to go back there having increased the size of my muffin top - it's just embarrassing.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-19-2020, 03:29 PM #21
This thread is an embarrassing reminder of how I fail and succumb to depression and my eating disorder over and over again.
I'm 99.2kg, down from 100.8kg. No aims of getting to a certain weight right now - just trying to exercise regularly.
19/02/20
3150m swimming
16.5 miles cyclingA.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-23-2020, 03:11 AM #22
22/2 - 98.4kg
Push ups - 4x12
Bench - 3x10 @80kg
Chest fly - 4x10 @6kg
Skullcrusher - 4x10 @6kg
Dumbbell bench - 3x10 @12.5kg
Pushups - 2x12
Kickbacks - 3x10 @10kg
Protein shake before and after, so 40g of protein by midday.
Yoghurt and mango for breakfast.
Eggs on toast with chicken for lunch.
Tofu curry in the evening.
Protein shake to finish the day and ensure I'm somewhere near 100g of protein.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-24-2020, 02:39 PM #23
24/2
Weight: 97kg
Eat/drink:
Porridge+raisins (380c)
2x Chicken burger and stir fried veg (400c)
Greek yoghurt (200c)
Grapes (120c)
Protein shake x2 (250c)
Toast+Bolognese mix (500c)
Creatine
Fruit juice (50c)
Exercise:
Swimming - sprint training, 2400m
Feeling so freaking good about today. Normally I would have gone to the shops, bought a cheesecake, pizza, coke, granola slices, donuts... About 10,000 calories and then smash it all in the space of an hour. **** binge eating. Held strong today.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-25-2020, 04:18 AM #24
25/2
Weight:
95.8kg (dehydration)
Food/drink:
Eggs on sourdough toast
Carrots and hummus
Veggie curry and rice
Yoghurt snack
Dinner TBD
Exercise:
Back, biceps and abs. (Will update later)A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-26-2020, 12:32 AM #25
Last night's workout was a shocker. I completed it, but I was ruined before I even started...
Anyways - as noted yesterday I was dehydrated and therefore my weight was a lot lower, and now it's back to normal.
Weight:
96.5kg
Exercise:
Cycling - 2x 8 mile commute
Swimming - 1 hour sprint set
Food:
3 eggs, sourdough toast, beans and a sausage.
200g Greek yoghurt.
Chicken and vegetables
Eggs on toast
2x protein shake.
Really struggling for food this week as I've not been doing food prep on the weekend as I would normally. Still, I'm hitting the right numbers.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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02-27-2020, 02:46 AM #26
Weight:
95.2kg (dehydrated)
Exercise:
Shoulders and abs routine
Eat/Drink:
Chicken snack
Protein shake x2
Greek yoghurt and grapes
Mackerel salad
Roasted veg w/ veggie sausage
All in all around 2400 calories today, which is spot on really.
4 weeks until my first swimming event of the season, and since a work colleague is there I don't want to look as fat as I do right now. That's motivation.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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03-19-2020, 01:43 PM #27
Thing going really well right now - home gym is paying for itself right now, and I'm managing to ride every morning.
Not weighing myself at the moment as I'm pretty sure it's detrimental to my binge eating cycles. Lockdown potential on the horizon may yet be a massive benefit to me if I am unable to go out and buy the type of food I would binge on, and I'm also with my wife 24/7 and have support on hand whenever I want it.
Special thanks to the loser for neg'ing me because I "look like a quintessential soyboy" whatever that is - thanks for taking the time to check in on my thread and give me compliments.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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03-25-2020, 01:06 PM #28
44 miles on the bike in the last two days, and 6 workouts in the gym in the last 9 days.
Back in the gym tomorrow, and continuing the programme.
The thing that's really driving me on right now is that I won't see my colleagues and family in person for another 3 weeks at least, and I know I can look totally different by then.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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03-27-2020, 12:58 AM #29
Looking slimmer in the mirror, can tell I have lost weight. Workouts seem to be going well as I am either upping weight, reps or simply recovering faster.
Will cycle 20 miles today, plus do the next workout on my programme which is back and biceps.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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03-30-2020, 12:27 AM #30
17 days of clean eating now, which is the most I have managed in quite some time. I'm still having a single chocolate each day, which helps keep me sane and keep the cravings away.
The other big change I have made is that I am having two protein shakes a day. This is actually keeping me fuller for longer, which as a general rule I haven't felt previously.
At the moment I am the most confident I have ever been about beating my eating disorder. Hopefully I can keep the stresses away and avoid triggering anything that sets me back.A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
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