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  1. #1
    Registered User FattyToFitGirl's Avatar
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    Can I date a hot fit guy while I'm still fat ?

    I'm 255 lb at 5 feet 6 inches tall. I'm a fat girl. I have always been attracted to fit muscular men but I am insecure because of how I look. It will take me a long time to lose the weight. Do I have to wait until I am thin because I can get with a fit man ?
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  2. #2
    Registered User hardyboysare's Avatar
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    I don't see why not.

    It may be strange to believe this but man are also attracted to different kinds of women (the same said for womens attraction) then just physical aspects (although what is physically attractive is subjective to the individual). Men find many things attractive you just need to present those qualities to them, you don't need to change what you don't want to of course for anyone but that said for health reasons and general norms yes losing weight is helpful for many reasons.

    I believe an individual should always strive to improve themselves both physically, mentally, socially and psychologically and through this by doing stuff you enjoy will present a character that others find attractive.

    So short answer is yes you can. Should you go out and change yourself to try and attract men technically no as in the long term that very unlikely to happen as you will end up hating what you are doing aka exercise. But if in the long term your goal is to improve yourself then it will show and by being more confident and relaxed in social situations attraction will develop from the other sex.

    The great thing about exercise and dieting is by doing it generally you feel better in yourself and it is something you will have in common with physically fit individuals.
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  3. #3
    Banned Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Yes of course you can. Plenty of fit guys like fat girls. Just see who you connect with and who you have mutual attraction with.

    Separate from that you should definitely lose weight and get fitter and healthier for yourself. You’ll feel amazing and it’s much better for your long term health too.
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  4. #4
    Registered User NellyA1FTW's Avatar
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    Why not? I believe we can date whoever we want to.
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    Registered User tablefulfads's Avatar
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    Yes, you can whomever you want.
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    Registered User Daniel1836's Avatar
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    I mean some guys like big girls. I wouldn't bet all my eggs on getting a super fit guy in a relationship, if they are very attractive they can probably attract attractive girls. That's the reality as I see it. So best bet is to get in shape so you can compete for the guys you want. Maybe the cold reality is that there's a difference between the kind of girl a guy would have fun with and the kind he'd choose to settle down with. But still possible. Don't let low self-esteem cut you off from having the kind of satisfying relationships you desire.
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  7. #7
    Registered User mavd's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Daniel1836 View Post
    I mean some guys like big girls. I wouldn't bet all my eggs on getting a super fit guy in a relationship, if they are very attractive they can probably attract attractive girls. That's the reality as I see it. So best bet is to get in shape so you can compete for the guys you want. Maybe the cold reality is that there's a difference between the kind of girl a guy would have fun with and the kind he'd choose to settle down with. But still possible. Don't let low self-esteem cut you off from having the kind of satisfying relationships you desire.
    The flaw in your logic is that you assume that everyone adheres your definition of attractive. Some men find bigger women attractive, although it would appear that you don't. Your mindset seems very immature for someone your age, you still think women should be competing with each other for male attention? Yikes.
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  8. #8
    Registered User Daniel1836's Avatar
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    I'm homeless but I want to date a millionaire who takes care of me. That's my point. By the same token what if an overweight man was asking if he could date fit models. What would people be telling him?
    Last edited by Daniel1836; 10-15-2019 at 08:45 PM.
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  9. #9
    Registered User mavd's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Daniel1836 View Post
    I'm homeless but I want to date a millionaire who takes care of me. That's my point. By the same token what if an overweight man was asking if he could date fit models. What would people be telling him?
    I've had more successful conversations with infants so let me put it into language a 2 year old might understand:
    Joe's favorite color is red. He buys red t-shirts.
    Jon's favorite color is blue. He buys blue t-shirts.
    Joe likes women with a bit of cushin' for the pushin'.
    Jon likes women with 24" waists.
    These situations are all okay because different people have different tastes.
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  10. #10
    Registered User Fiction2Fitness's Avatar
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    Yep, people like different things and body is just one factor of many.

    My own experience: I've dated a few different people between a little fluffy, more fit, online versus in person, male and female. I was overweight back then too. Over the last 5 years I lost 70 lbs but I haven't dated in 7 years. So, weight doesn't necessarily correlate to getting more or less success in the dating field. Other people will have different experiences.

    And yes, a fluffy guy can date a thin/fit woman. There is even a tv trope where the husband is more frumpy and the wife is out of his league in the looks department but might be naggy or have other qualities that get used to create the situations in each episode.
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  11. #11
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    Start to visualize how you want to look and try to feel like you're already there. It will get easier and easier as you make progress. But in the meantime, don't lower your standards! You don't want to date anyone who you are not attracted to. Have faith, because just one little step each day have a huge effect in the future. Good luck!
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