Eating disorder while trying to lose weight

[fays12]

I dont know if anyone can help or if this is the right place to post this..

The past 5 years, ive been desperately trying to lose weight so ive been going to the gym, counting calories, intermittent fasting, and doing everything right. But I still fail because I have a eating disorder. I binge eat, then vomit, then feel guilty so I fast! When I binge eat, I am aware of the fact that im not enjoying the food and I feel pain, yet I continue to eat and think of my next meal!

430 lbs This was my weight when I started
300 lbs This is my weight a year ago
370 lbs This is my current weight

As you can see, I gained alot of my weight back so I lost all motivation because im losing weight I already lost and put alot of work on the past years. Even after I lose the weight back, I still have a very long way to go. I dont want to waist another 5 years trying to lose weight while not doing anything with my life.

[xsquid99]

You need professional help, not an internet forum.

Please seek out the assistance of an eating disorder counselor/support group in your area.

[fays12]

You need professional help, not an internet forum.

Please seek out the assistance of an eating disorder counselor/support group in your area.

We dont have that where I live in the Middle East, I would have to travel or online sessions. I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience with this that can share their experience or have good advice. Im not relying on this forum to actually help me.