Vick's Dating Log and Advice Thread v. 3.0 (that escalated quickly!)

[BlackScorpio91]

i'm not sure how to interpret your response to that post. that is the mentality I have because I usually get whoever I decide to go after. but getting that response from someone who I believe is a bit less attractive than I am is strangely humbling.

I'm not talking about you, I was referring to your comment about riku or whatever his name is.

[xvicknumber7x]

I'm not talking about you, I was referring to your comment about riku or whatever his name is.

oh, 100% spot on then. i was a bit confused at first haha.

[badboy51]

- i have read through the entire thread. very good stuff. here just want to write my thoughts on my own situation. ( not trying to jack thread)

- first serious LTR
- was with gf for about 4 years.
- She lived with me for the last 3 years. ( I own a multifamily)
- she did not pay rent ( my entire mortgage is covered by the property-- she made a fraction of what i make, i was ok with it... now looking at it just lol)
- we broke it off in April this past year. got back together within 6 weeks. ( still talked during being broken up)
- She ended it about a month ago bc i would not commit- She took all of her stuff out of the apartment.
- Was on NC for 3 weeks.
- I texted her a week ago ( I know I should not have)
- she responded instantly.
- she came over we agreed to talk- she stayed the night. banged twice.
- we talked after, and now its crystal clear we are not going to get back together ( hence the break up lol)
- going back on NC
- now have apartment to myself.
- downloaded all dating apps.
- i don't have a major social circle.
- i have been hitting gym/macros hard since the breakup. i was maybe 18% bf ( too much)
- have not been on actual dates in forever. feels weird- i'm 28.
- would you guys reccomend just going on dates with any girl? ( to get reps in-- I think i should limit my texts to a few before asking them out)

[microsuede]

- i have read through the entire thread. very good stuff. here just want to write my thoughts on my own situation. ( not trying to jack thread)

- first serious LTR
- was with gf for about 4 years.
- She lived with me for the last 3 years. ( I own a multifamily)
- she did not pay rent ( my entire mortgage is covered by the property-- she made a fraction of what i make, i was ok with it... now looking at it just lol)
- we broke it off in April this past year. got back together within 6 weeks. ( still talked during being broken up)
- She ended it about a month ago bc i would not commit- She took all of her stuff out of the apartment.
- Was on NC for 3 weeks.
- I texted her a week ago ( I know I should not have)
- she responded instantly.
- she came over we agreed to talk- she stayed the night. banged twice.
- we talked after, and now its crystal clear we are not going to get back together ( hence the break up lol)
- going back on NC
- now have apartment to myself.
- downloaded all dating apps.
- i don't have a major social circle.
- i have been hitting gym/macros hard since the breakup. i was maybe 18% bf ( too much)
- have not been on actual dates in forever. feels weird- i'm 28.
- would you guys reccomend just going on dates with any girl? ( to get reps in-- I think i should limit my texts to a few before asking them out)

You're white, in shape, with property, and own apartment... with any half decent game you will be banging girls from online.

Just take good pics, and I'd go on a couple of 'warm up' dates but doubt you really even need that. Like I said you are going to be what the majority of girls are looking for.

If you have a dog and take a pic with it on your profile you will have girls oozing to be with you.

[pondus_levo]

bro do not respond, wtf.

update:

school is kicking my ass. spent all day yesterday doing homework. got a lot done, though. anyway, this morning i asked out gym crush. i think i got rejected. we talked a bit, she pushed the sled with me after i asked her to join, and then as she was leaving she came over to say goodbye. i asked her if she wanted to get together sometime, and she said "let's see. will you be here tomorrow?" and I said yeah. it was a strange response. i have gotten a lot of positive signs from her over the past few days of us talking, so not sure what to think. i guess we will see. how weird. humbling.

That's not a rejection. My guess is she's talking to someone that's not serious and needs to figure out what she wants to do. If she's hot, their is always someone else. You either need to be persistent and play her game or move on.

Personally, when I think someone else is in the picture, I move on, and only respond if she chases me.

[JellBella]

That's not a rejection. My guess is she's talking to someone that's not serious and needs to figure out what she wants to do. If she's hot, their is always someone else. You either need to be persistent and play her game or move on.

Personally, when I think someone else is in the picture, I move on, and only respond if she chases me.

Sometimes women use lite rejections to gauge whether a guy is crazy or not. I've had guys get weird on me, acting like I owe them a date, especially the more attractive ones. Imo this was not a rejection, just a smart woman feeling out the situation.

[xvicknumber7x]

That's not a rejection. My guess is she's talking to someone that's not serious and needs to figure out what she wants to do. If she's hot, their is always someone else. You either need to be persistent and play her game or move on.

Personally, when I think someone else is in the picture, I move on, and only respond if she chases me.

Sometimes women use lite rejections to gauge whether a guy is crazy or not. I've had guys get weird on me, acting like I owe them a date, especially the more attractive ones. Imo this was not a rejection, just a smart woman feeling out the situation.

it feels like one tbh. but i understand both of your points. could be, i guess we will see. we had a big snowstorm last night and the gym was really empty today. she wasn't there. maybe tomorrow.

i have a date with a hinge girl tonight, this is date #2, but i really am not feeling like going. just wanna stay home and play some games and chill. ill see how i am feeling in a few hours.

[sloppyjoe1]

- i have read through the entire thread. very good stuff. here just want to write my thoughts on my own situation. ( not trying to jack thread)

- first serious LTR
- was with gf for about 4 years.
- She lived with me for the last 3 years. ( I own a multifamily)
- she did not pay rent ( my entire mortgage is covered by the property-- she made a fraction of what i make, i was ok with it... now looking at it just lol)
- we broke it off in April this past year. got back together within 6 weeks. ( still talked during being broken up)
- She ended it about a month ago bc i would not commit- She took all of her stuff out of the apartment.
- Was on NC for 3 weeks.
- I texted her a week ago ( I know I should not have)
- she responded instantly.
- she came over we agreed to talk- she stayed the night. banged twice.
- we talked after, and now its crystal clear we are not going to get back together ( hence the break up lol)
- going back on NC
- now have apartment to myself.
- downloaded all dating apps.
- i don't have a major social circle.
- i have been hitting gym/macros hard since the breakup. i was maybe 18% bf ( too much)
- have not been on actual dates in forever. feels weird- i'm 28.
- would you guys reccomend just going on dates with any girl? ( to get reps in-- I think i should limit my texts to a few before asking them out)

I think I can answer this for ya brah. I was with a girl for 5 years, she lived with me for 4. After some time of healing I contemplated how I would get back into the game because I had been out for so long and I was in a LTR while all of those dating apps got popular. I decided the best thing for me was to take a long break from relationships but still go out and meet women, expand your social circle, go on dates, but be genuine about your intentions. If a girl is a one night stand and you'll never see her again it's all good but if you're gonna develop a FWB with someone just lay it out early and say you're just looking to have fun. It will be tempting to want to develop things with girls but you'll want to resist the urge. I recommend being by yourself for awhile, focus on your gym goals, and whatever else you want to do that you didn't have time for before. I would just meet girls out naturally. I don't have enough tolerance for dating apps, can't stand the ghosting and flaking that I always hear about.

[BlackScorpio91]

it feels like one tbh. but i understand both of your points. could be, i guess we will see. we had a big snowstorm last night and the gym was really empty today. she wasn't there. maybe tomorrow.

i have a date with a hinge girl tonight, this is date #2, but i really am not feeling like going. just wanna stay home and play some games and chill. ill see how i am feeling in a few hours.

Be a man and don't flake, just go.

However if you do flake then work on that Tinder experiment of mine

[pondus_levo]

Sometimes women use lite rejections to gauge whether a guy is crazy or not. I've had guys get weird on me, acting like I owe them a date, especially the more attractive ones. Imo this was not a rejection, just a smart woman feeling out the situation.

"smart"

no.

Socially conditioned

yes.

A smart woman would just tell a guy how she feels, instead, she's been conditioned that the right thing to do is **** test and play games. Do women even realize that they created the crazy stalkers they fear by not being straight forward and honest? Literally only 10-20% of the male population is like Vick and I where we just don't give a **** and walk away when getting mixed signals. The other 80-90% will cling to any hope and literally just need to be told "No, I'm not interested. Sorry."

Sure, there's always going to be some asshat that doesn't take no for an answer, but he's going to be that way no matter what. Because you fear that 1/1000 person, women have created 100 more just like him by giving mixed signals.

[JellBella]

For me, it's not playing games. If I'm not interested in a guy I make it clear. But if I am attracted to a guy, in the early stages it's only going to be a vague curiosity, anyway, so I'm not going to jump at the chance of going out with him.

[sloppyjoe1]

"smart"

no.

Socially conditioned

yes.

A smart woman would just tell a guy how she feels, instead, she's been conditioned that the right thing to do is **** test and play games. Do women even realize that they created the crazy stalkers they fear by not being straight forward and honest? Literally only 10-20% of the male population is like Vick and I where we just don't give a **** and walk away when getting mixed signals. The other 80-90% will cling to any hope and literally just need to be told "No, I'm not interested. Sorry."

Sure, there's always going to be some asshat that doesn't take no for an answer, but he's going to be that way no matter what. Because you fear that 1/1000 person, women have created 100 more just like him by giving mixed signals.

Amen dude. At my point in my life I'm turning 29 in a few days and it's so draining to try and figure out where a girl stands when she's playing games and giving mixed signals.

[BlackScorpio91]

"smart"

no.

Socially conditioned

yes.

A smart woman would just tell a guy how she feels, instead, she's been conditioned that the right thing to do is **** test and play games. Do women even realize that they created the crazy stalkers they fear by not being straight forward and honest? Literally only 10-20% of the male population is like Vick and I where we just don't give a **** and walk away when getting mixed signals. The other 80-90% will cling to any hope and literally just need to be told "No, I'm not interested. Sorry."

Sure, there's always going to be some asshat that doesn't take no for an answer, but he's going to be that way no matter what. Because you fear that 1/1000 person, women have created 100 more just like him by giving mixed signals.

Yeah women that give mixed signals (wishy washy) I tend to avoid. It shouldn't be a difficult mindfuk to get laid.

[badboy51]

You're white, in shape, with property, and own apartment... with any half decent game you will be banging girls from online.

Just take good pics, and I'd go on a couple of 'warm up' dates but doubt you really even need that. Like I said you are going to be what the majority of girls are looking for.

If you have a dog and take a pic with it on your profile you will have girls oozing to be with you.

Thanks for the advice man! I don't really think i have much game at all lol. I had a dog ( we got when we were together) but no pics of me and the dog, but thats a great idea for a profile pic.

[badboy51]

I think I can answer this for ya brah. I was with a girl for 5 years, she lived with me for 4. After some time of healing I contemplated how I would get back into the game because I had been out for so long and I was in a LTR while all of those dating apps got popular. I decided the best thing for me was to take a long break from relationships but still go out and meet women, expand your social circle, go on dates, but be genuine about your intentions. If a girl is a one night stand and you'll never see her again it's all good but if you're gonna develop a FWB with someone just lay it out early and say you're just looking to have fun. It will be tempting to want to develop things with girls but you'll want to resist the urge. I recommend being by yourself for awhile, focus on your gym goals, and whatever else you want to do that you didn't have time for before. I would just meet girls out naturally. I don't have enough tolerance for dating apps, can't stand the ghosting and flaking that I always hear about.

Man, thank you for sharing. I kind of have a weird feeling since im 28 and i was with her for about 4 years total. So getting back into dating just seems odd itself. new territory. I like the intentions part as well. i have not had success just inviting over girls right to my place lol. It seems the logical thing would be to get drinks first and see how that goes. Yes, I think i possibly should just go on date with no "goal" in mind and just see how the date goes. I have been focusing more on my diet. I got up to 195 ( not good weight) and have been hitting the gym as hard as when i was single. i noticed my working out (consistently) stopped in the relationship, maybe became complacent. Yeah the dating apps i download a bunch- CMB, Tinder, Bumble, POF, Hinge, OKC- and have noticed i get responses maybe on 1/2 of the girls i match with, but i don't set the dates quick enough. bad intentions on my part.

[xvicknumber7x]

"smart"

no.

Socially conditioned

yes.

A smart woman would just tell a guy how she feels, instead, she's been conditioned that the right thing to do is **** test and play games. Do women even realize that they created the crazy stalkers they fear by not being straight forward and honest? Literally only 10-20% of the male population is like Vick and I where we just don't give a **** and walk away when getting mixed signals. The other 80-90% will cling to any hope and literally just need to be told "No, I'm not interested. Sorry."

Sure, there's always going to be some asshat that doesn't take no for an answer, but he's going to be that way no matter what. Because you fear that 1/1000 person, women have created 100 more just like him by giving mixed signals.

i guess i am just curious as to how (or if) she will resolve this, but yeah I don't even wait around anymore. once you start understanding how to get options and get women interested, those sorts of things become much easier to just ignore and leave. i think a lot of guys tolerate a lot of superfluous bullshiit and ignore the principles.

jellbella, I am having a hard time believing she is using this as some kind of investigative period. i think she is not interested, which is strange because i got every great sign from her that you could get over a period of 3 days of seeing each other. i just want to see if she even acknowledges it at this point tbh. i'm not expecting much with this one, but it is interesting to see that this is something women do at times.

[rikugunchusa]

She was waiting to see if something better would come up, and it did.

You were a fallback and she disrespected your time. Personally, I'd call her out for poor behavior and exit/block, but most guys here will just say to exit and say nothing.

While this is what I was going to do, in the end I just didn't reply. From my experience, women will jump through flaming hula hoops to rationalize their behavior, and blocking her will just make me look salty.

[Luc1fer]

While this is what I was going to do, in the end I just didn't reply. From my experience, women will jump through flaming hula hoops to rationalize their behavior, and blocking her will just make me look salty.

I agree women rationalize behaviors, but I’ll still contend you were selfish for not saying anything for fear of appearing salty.

[sloppyjoe1]

Man, thank you for sharing. I kind of have a weird feeling since im 28 and i was with her for about 4 years total. So getting back into dating just seems odd itself. new territory. I like the intentions part as well. i have not had success just inviting over girls right to my place lol. It seems the logical thing would be to get drinks first and see how that goes. Yes, I think i possibly should just go on date with no "goal" in mind and just see how the date goes. I have been focusing more on my diet. I got up to 195 ( not good weight) and have been hitting the gym as hard as when i was single. i noticed my working out (consistently) stopped in the relationship, maybe became complacent. Yeah the dating apps i download a bunch- CMB, Tinder, Bumble, POF, Hinge, OKC- and have noticed i get responses maybe on 1/2 of the girls i match with, but i don't set the dates quick enough. bad intentions on my part.

Yeah that's probably not gonna work on a majority of women. You'll want to meet them in a public place where they feel comfortable, and then do your thing.

[sloppyjoe1]

Yeah women that give mixed signals (wishy washy) I tend to avoid. It shouldn't be a difficult mindfuk to get laid.

Men and women both like having options but I think treat them differently. For us men, when things get weird or too complicated with one chick we logically tell ourselves they're bad news. With women, I think they will give mixed signals to keep multiple men in their back pockets. Try and keep them hooked just enough to stick around and be willing to respond/meet up whenever things change(frequently perhaps). We have all been BOTH guys, the guy who is the main squeeze where the woman is literally head over heels for us, and we have been in her back pocket where she push/pulls to the point where it can be a headache. When I realize I'm that guy and take it upon myself to pull away more often than not she displays abrupt concern for MY behavior.

[Luc1fer]

Men and women both like having options but I think treat them differently. For us men, when things get weird or too complicated with one chick we logically tell ourselves they're bad news. With women, I think they will give mixed signals to keep multiple men in their back pockets. Try and keep them hooked just enough to stick around and be willing to respond/meet up whenever things change(frequently perhaps). We have all been BOTH guys, the guy who is the main squeeze where the woman is literally head over heels for us, and we have been in her back pocket where she push/pulls to the point where it can be a headache. When I realize I'm that guy and take it upon myself to pull away more often than not she displays abrupt concern for MY behavior.

I’ve never experienced the push/pull version you describe. I guess I just don’t get involved with half interested women.

[sloppyjoe1]

I’ve never experienced the push/pull version you describe. I guess I just don’t get involved with half interested women.

Specifically, I'm talking about women who act interested for days or weeks then disappear and then come back, usually with an excuse that is believable and most men will give her the benefit of the doubt. After realizing this about a girl I usually lose interest because it's boring and not going anywhere. Sometimes eventually they will hit me up and act like something is wrong on MY end. This tells me either 1. They are manipulative and use you for their own personal gain or 2. Women have little to no control over playing mind games/chit tests.

[Legz422]

i guess i am just curious as to how (or if) she will resolve this, but yeah I don't even wait around anymore. once you start understanding how to get options and get women interested, those sorts of things become much easier to just ignore and leave. i think a lot of guys tolerate a lot of superfluous bullshiit and ignore the principles.

jellbella, I am having a hard time believing she is using this as some kind of investigative period. i think she is not interested, which is strange because i got every great sign from her that you could get over a period of 3 days of seeing each other. i just want to see if she even acknowledges it at this point tbh. i'm not expecting much with this one, but it is interesting to see that this is something women do at times.

It sounds to me like she has a boyfriend if she's talking to you so much at the gym but kinda blew you off when you mentioned going out.

[Luc1fer]

Specifically, I'm talking about women who act interested for days or weeks then disappear and then come back, usually with an excuse that is believable and most men will give her the benefit of the doubt. After realizing this about a girl I usually lose interest because it's boring and not going anywhere. Sometimes eventually they will hit me up and act like something is wrong on MY end. This tells me either 1. They are manipulative and use you for their own personal gain or 2. Women have little to no control over playing mind games/chit tests.

Oh I see, I've gotten that on the apps a few times, but just ignore them. I just assume they've been pumped & dumped by Chad and are looking for someone to give them attention.

At the beginning I'd give them a chance, but they'll just ghost again because you're not the first option and they'll always be looking to date up.

[Luc1fer]

It sounds to me like she has a boyfriend if she's talking to you so much at the gym but kinda blew you off when you mentioned going out.

I just remembered a similar thing happening to me in the gym years ago. I used to chat with a girl who gave me all the signs, even hinted towards going out. When I did eventually ask her out, she suggesting inviting another friend from the gym, which was obviously a rejection for a 1:1 date. I have no idea why this happened, but we never went out.

[Legz422]

I just remembered a similar thing happening to me in the gym years ago. I used to chat with a girl who gave me all the signs, even hinted towards going out. When I did eventually ask her out, she suggesting inviting another friend from the gym, which was obviously a rejection for a 1:1 date. I have no idea why this happened, but we never went out.

That's really weird. Who says they want to bring a friend on a date?

[BlackScorpio91]

That's really weird. Who says they want to bring a friend on a date?

Probably because she's paranoid or that woman is a Time waster who wanted to friendzone him.

[Legz422]

Probably because she's paranoid or that woman is a Time waster who wanted to friendzone him.

That's so weird to be so paranoid you can't even go out on a date with someone you've met IRL. I'd say she's prob a time waster.

[Luc1fer]

That's really weird. Who says they want to bring a friend on a date?

Well I asked her out for drinks, and she suggested we could ask our mutual friend to come too. Nice soft rejection, timewaster.

[sloppyjoe1]

I just remembered a similar thing happening to me in the gym years ago. I used to chat with a girl who gave me all the signs, even hinted towards going out. When I did eventually ask her out, she suggesting inviting another friend from the gym, which was obviously a rejection for a 1:1 date. I have no idea why this happened, but we never went out.

Girls are very unreliable. Anything they say or do could be nothing when you think it's something. It's hard because men think in terms of logistics. She said this and does this so it must mean this, but it could mean NOTHING at all, or it meant something temporarily.