Vick's Dating Log and Advice Thread v. 3.0 (that escalated quickly!)

[JellBella]

I know you guys don't like hearing from females, but imma say something anyway. My ex used to always talk about marriage. He wanted to be sure I'd say yes before he got the ring. I told him that's just not how things are done- that I wouldn't give an answer unless and until the ring was right in front of me. Because that's how it should be. The man hedges his bets on a woman with no guarantee of what the outcome will be. It's the ultimate alpha move, imo. And I think it should be like that in dating, too. The man sees relationship potential, so he cuts out other options and puts all the focus on her.
I think that other miscer was right that women are sensing you're not serious about them, so they can't be serious about you. Women want men to lead in a relationship.
Also, you sound super-contradictory with you're whole "I'm not trying to get serious, why don't any of these women want something serious with me" thing.

[otakutrevan]

Through some wizardry I pulled off a gym rat teacher wants to go on a date this week. Even if it doesnt pan it having someone that imo, to me, is attractive, really raises the spirit.

[xvicknumber7x]

I know you guys don't like hearing from females, but imma say something anyway. My ex used to always talk about marriage. He wanted to be sure I'd say yes before he got the ring. I told him that's just not how things are done- that I wouldn't give an answer unless and until the ring was right in front of me. Because that's how it should be. The man hedges his bets on a woman with no guarantee of what the outcome will be. It's the ultimate alpha move, imo. And I think it should be like that in dating, too. The man sees relationship potential, so he cuts out other options and puts all the focus on her.
I think that other miscer was right that women are sensing you're not serious about them, so they can't be serious about you. Women want men to lead in a relationship.
Also, you sound super-contradictory with you're whole "I'm not trying to get serious, why don't any of these women want something serious with me" thing.

i guess the state that i'm at would be that i would get serious again with someone if i caught the vibe that they were serious about me. i guess my desires are conditional. i'm at a point where i will pretty much go with whatever tbh. and your opinion is always valid here. i prefer to hear from women as well.

[sloppyjoe1]

that actually sounds a lot like how i feel. i generally am beginning to assume that a lot of these women are just looking for something to do for a day, etc. and it actually doesnt matter what i do or how i act or whatever when on dates. i mean, i try to be the best man i can be, and i make moves and flirt and stuff, but honestly in the back of my mind i'm like "i dont think this matters much tbh, i think she thinks im hot so i'm basically in for at least today" lmao.



so what does it take to make something stick? it's almost like a game of chance.



got plans scheduled with zookeeper on thursday.

I have personally heard female friends talk about dates with guys in a fukked up way. One asked me "I banged this guy last night I matched with on Tinder, should I stick around and see if I can get a free breakfast?" I told her you're fuked up dude.

[sloppyjoe1]

I know you guys don't like hearing from females, but imma say something anyway. My ex used to always talk about marriage. He wanted to be sure I'd say yes before he got the ring. I told him that's just not how things are done- that I wouldn't give an answer unless and until the ring was right in front of me. Because that's how it should be. The man hedges his bets on a woman with no guarantee of what the outcome will be. It's the ultimate alpha move, imo. And I think it should be like that in dating, too. The man sees relationship potential, so he cuts out other options and puts all the focus on her.
I think that other miscer was right that women are sensing you're not serious about them, so they can't be serious about you. Women want men to lead in a relationship.
Also, you sound super-contradictory with you're whole "I'm not trying to get serious, why don't any of these women want something serious with me" thing.

I mean I wouldn't directly ask if my girl would marry me before I got the ring but I'd find ways/hints to make sure it was in my favor. I highly disagree with your opinion about dating. No man should cut out other options for a girl he barely knows just because he see's "potential". Most people see potential early on because everybody involved is acting as perfect as they can be. It should take a few months to really get to know someones true self before you make that judgement.

[pondus_levo]

I know you guys don't like hearing from females, but imma say something anyway. My ex used to always talk about marriage. He wanted to be sure I'd say yes before he got the ring. I told him that's just not how things are done- that I wouldn't give an answer unless and until the ring was right in front of me. Because that's how it should be. The man hedges his bets on a woman with no guarantee of what the outcome will be. It's the ultimate alpha move, imo. And I think it should be like that in dating, too. The man sees relationship potential, so he cuts out other options and puts all the focus on her.
I think that other miscer was right that women are sensing you're not serious about them, so they can't be serious about you. Women want men to lead in a relationship.
Also, you sound super-contradictory with you're whole "I'm not trying to get serious, why don't any of these women want something serious with me" thing.

It's not that we don't like women's opinions. It's that we don't like women's opinions that are complete junk and out of touch of reality, like yours.

The only part I agree with is the part where you agree with me.

i guess the state that i'm at would be that i would get serious again with someone if i caught the vibe that they were serious about me. i guess my desires are conditional. i'm at a point where i will pretty much go with whatever tbh. and your opinion is always valid here. i prefer to hear from women as well.

You: I'm not going to get serious unless she shows me she is serious
Her: I'm not going to get serious unless he shows me he is serious.

Someone has to make the first move and 99% of the time it's not going to be the woman.

[alltrapbrah]

I mean I wouldn't directly ask if my girl would marry me before I got the ring but I'd find ways/hints to make sure it was in my favor. I highly disagree with your opinion about dating. No man should cut out other options for a girl he barely knows just because he see's "potential". Most people see potential early on because everybody involved is acting as perfect as they can be. It should take a few months to really get to know someones true self before you make that judgement.

I highly disagree with you.

Taking a calculating approach to personal relationships will only serve to lower the quality of them.

[alltrapbrah]

It's not that we don't like women's opinions. It's that we don't like women's opinions that are complete junk and out of touch of reality, like yours

She’s right tho.

Nothing screams “you shouldn’t be getting married” like having to get assurances before hand.

[JellBella]

I mean I wouldn't directly ask if my girl would marry me before I got the ring but I'd find ways/hints to make sure it was in my favor. I highly disagree with your opinion about dating. No man should cut out other options for a girl he barely knows just because he see's "potential". Most people see potential early on because everybody involved is acting as perfect as they can be. It should take a few months to really get to know someones true self before you make that judgement.

And yet, you can "know" someone for years and years, and until you actually let them in, not really know them at all. If you've ever moved in with a friend or lover only to see an entirely different side of them, you've likely experienced this. I'm not saying you should move in with someone right away- definitely don't do that.

Personally, I don't operate from a scarcity mindset, so I'm not afraid of letting any options go. I know there will always be someone else for me. Like the dentist who did fillings on me today. He told me to turn my head towards him, and when I didn't turn it far enough he put it right by his crotch, where he wanted it. He's a Mormon and those men never leave their wives. But you get what I'm saying- someone like him is out there for me. A take charge kind of man. Yes. And when I find him, I sure as heck am not going to ruin it by playing games or risking him finding out about some other crotch my head has been in.

But you do you.

[Luc1fer]

Like the dentist who did fillings on me today. He told me to turn my head towards him, and when I didn't turn it far enough he put it right by his crotch, where he wanted it.

lol wat

[pondus_levo]

She’s right tho.

Nothing screams “you shouldn’t be getting married” like having to get assurances before hand.

LOL what? No. I literally cannot shake my head hard enough.

Nothing screams out "you shouldn't be getting married," is if you are not sure.

[alltrapbrah]

Nothing screams out "you shouldn't be getting married," is if you are not sure.

Exactly.

Asking, “hey babe, before I get a ring, I just wanna know if you’ll say ‘yes’”, doesn’t scream of being sure, does it?

He’s seeking assurances by asking that question, understand? And the fact he feels he needs to do that is a strong as fuk indicator that he shouldn’t get married.

[HangerBaby]

If anyone proposes to anyone else before having a lengthy conversation about what the future holds for them beforehand, they are immature and stupid

LOL @ not even discussing marriage until before a ring is put in front of you... outrageous

[pondus_levo]

Exactly.

Asking, “hey babe, before I get a ring, I just wanna know if you’ll say ‘yes’”, doesn’t scream of being sure, does it?

He’s seeking assurances by asking that question, understand? And the fact he feels he needs to do that is a strong as fuk indicator that he shouldn’t get married.

It's a two-way street. Just because he is sure that he wants to get married, doesn't mean she is. Unless you know she is sure, and have talked about it in length already, then you don't ask.

And to be honest, if she's not the one bringing it up, you also shouldn't ask. LOL.

[xvicknumber7x]

update:

plans with girl across the street for lunch tomorrow and zookeeper on thursday. girl from last week hopefully around the end of the week. i dont want that to fizzle out. that would suck.

also, there is a super hot barista who works at a cafe next door to my work. i go to the cafe for lunch everyday to have tea and process. anyway, she found me on IG tonight and DMed me. it was insane. i think she has a man, so i've never approached. however last week she complimented my outfit (i dressed up hardcore for a community lunch) and since then she has been flirting with me pretty good. not sure what to think rn tbh, since i am fairly fairly sure she is cuffed. but we will see.

mostly just wanna see girl from last week again tbh. we snapped a bit today, and i'm going to text her tomorrow.

[sloppyjoe1]

update:

plans with girl across the street for lunch tomorrow and zookeeper on thursday. girl from last week hopefully around the end of the week. i dont want that to fizzle out. that would suck.

also, there is a super hot barista who works at a cafe next door to my work. i go to the cafe for lunch everyday to have tea and process. anyway, she found me on IG tonight and DMed me. it was insane. i think she has a man, so i've never approached. however last week she complimented my outfit (i dressed up hardcore for a community lunch) and since then she has been flirting with me pretty good. not sure what to think rn tbh, since i am fairly fairly sure she is cuffed. but we will see.

mostly just wanna see girl from last week again tbh. we snapped a bit today, and i'm going to text her tomorrow.

das it mane

[Luc1fer]

not sure what to think rn tbh, since i am fairly fairly sure she is cuffed. but we will see.

That would turn me off big time if she's seeing someone. Disgusting behavior.

[xvicknumber7x]

but i dont know for sure. but she is bangin. honestly someone i dont even think about because i generally know my limits with some women, and she is well outside of that. it was pretty surprising. her behavior is indicative of someone who is into me, which is just not what i expected.

[Nedo]

We did it, and then........you just left OP. How could you, PIG!!!

[redliner9]

update:

plans with girl across the street for lunch tomorrow and zookeeper on thursday. girl from last week hopefully around the end of the week. i dont want that to fizzle out. that would suck.

also, there is a super hot barista who works at a cafe next door to my work. i go to the cafe for lunch everyday to have tea and process. anyway, she found me on IG tonight and DMed me. it was insane. i think she has a man, so i've never approached. however last week she complimented my outfit (i dressed up hardcore for a community lunch) and since then she has been flirting with me pretty good. not sure what to think rn tbh, since i am fairly fairly sure she is cuffed. but we will see.

mostly just wanna see girl from last week again tbh. we snapped a bit today, and i'm going to text her tomorrow.

Thats good news then, you have plenty of options going.

Im never surprised on the amount of taken women messing around.

I work in a hospital and its everywhere

[xvicknumber7x]

We did it, and then........you just left OP. How could you, PIG!!!

bae i'm soooooo sorry. it just sorta happened. i swear it was a one time thing.

Thats good news then, you have plenty of options going.

Im never surprised on the amount of taken women messing around.

I work in a hospital and its everywhere

i have options yes, but the one i like the most is the one i havent seen in a bit. but we've been talking daily so i guess it's okay.

get together with girl across the street was cool. she's def into me. i can make her melt. might hang with her on the weekend.

the chick sliding in my dms last night still has my mind blown.

[sloppyjoe1]

Thats good news then, you have plenty of options going.

Im never surprised on the amount of taken women messing around.

I work in a hospital and its everywhere

One of my friends is a Nurse and he told me that nurses are the biggest freaks

[xvicknumber7x]

last gf was a nurse, sister is a nurse, met other nurses, all prudes IMO.

[Nedo]

bae i'm soooooo sorry. it just sorta happened. i swear it was a one time thing.

Welcome back broski, a bunch of us regulars have been asking about you during your absence.

[Luc1fer]

last gf was a nurse, sister is a nurse, met other nurses, all prudes IMO.

Prudes? Not in my experience. Your ex and sister are probably just awful.

[xvicknumber7x]

just got back from another date with zookeeper. this would be our fourth time hanging out. she was definitely still sick, but toughed it out to come hang. anyway, we saw a comedy act downtown. it was actually really fun. we then talked for a little bit about a bunch of different stuff. i said something really sweet entirely by accident. i really like her. but i don't think it will ever work out. i don't think she is looking to get involved with anyone. anyway, we got back to her house and she told me she still feels a bit under the weather and that i cant come in. i saw that coming, because her cough sounded a bit nasty at times throughout the night. walked her to the door, kissed her on the cheek, and took off. she referenced a next time as far as another date goes. it is sorta nice not having pressure or expectations on things, and just having fun and being cute with each other and **** and just not trying to get things to go 'somewhere,' but at the same time i acknowledge that i could let this really hurt me later on. but right now, i definitely like the arrangement.

seems like she had a great time. i did, too.

[BlackScorpio91]

one thing I have been pondering lately is if I am doing something wrong with these women. it's been a ton of bumble and tinder dates and I am not hooking the interest of many of these women the way I am used to. perhaps I have forgotten something, or maybe I have changed from last time and I have gotten worse at this. i'm not sure what it is. maybe it isn't me. i'm not sure what to think about all the ghosts, or things running out of steam, or just the fact that these girls only seem halfway-interested after hanging once or twice. that's hard to understand.

If things are not panning out for you then you most likely need to do some self evaluation.

That's what I've done before and now I'm the man I am now not just with women but just in general.

[BigBallsMcgee]

just got back from another date with zookeeper. this would be our fourth time hanging out. she was definitely still sick, but toughed it out to come hang. anyway, we saw a comedy act downtown. it was actually really fun. we then talked for a little bit about a bunch of different stuff. i said something really sweet entirely by accident. i really like her. but i don't think it will ever work out. i don't think she is looking to get involved with anyone. anyway, we got back to her house and she told me she still feels a bit under the weather and that i cant come in. i saw that coming, because her cough sounded a bit nasty at times throughout the night. walked her to the door, kissed her on the cheek, and took off. she referenced a next time as far as another date goes. it is sorta nice not having pressure or expectations on things, and just having fun and being cute with each other and **** and just not trying to get things to go 'somewhere,' but at the same time i acknowledge that i could let this really hurt me later on. but right now, i definitely like the arrangement.

seems like she had a great time. i did, too.

Nice, that sounds like it's going well just keep it up and not forcing anything.

[BigBallsMcgee]

If things are not panning out for you then you most likely need to do some self evaluation.

That's what I've done before and now I'm the man I am now not just with women but just in general.

Vick is doing great. He just got back into the dating scene just weeks ago and already finding some good situations.

[Rebel012]

Vick is doing great. He just got back into the dating scene just weeks ago and already finding some good situations.

Getting dates or even hook-ups isn't that hard, it's holding the interest in this environment that can be a challenge.