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  1. #421
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    That would be good, it'll relate to more of us.

    What I would like to know is exactly how to define self improvement. Like I don't think there's anything wrong with me now. Is it self-defined? To me its all personal opinion on what you want to do.
    Some people are so lost they don't know where self-improvement begins because they don't know what their goals are and thus can't define it.

    I had a period when I was single where i was obsessed with "self-improvement" and being "productive" but was very self-aware and knew what it meant to me.
    For example, i still went out a lot because quality time with friends was important to me as was working on my social skills/flirting skills. I just managed my time to a tee and spent very little time watching TV/doing things that didn't make me feel motivated.
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  2. #422
    Power and the money. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    That would be good, it'll relate to more of us.

    What I would like to know is exactly how to define self improvement. Like I don't think there's anything wrong with me now. Is it self-defined? To me its all personal opinion on what you want to do.
    I mean I've been doing self improvement since I was 18 and I definitely not the same person I was back then or even 2-3 years ago.
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  3. #423
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    I mean I've been doing self improvement since I was 18 and I definitely not the same person I was back then or even 2-3 years ago.
    you're not the same, I'm not the same either but that doesn't necessarily mean "better".

    Like for example, some people think lifting is self improvment, but as long as you're healthy and in shape I dont think having more muscle inherently makes you "better". Unless you personally prefer it.
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  4. #424
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    you're not the same, I'm not the same either but that doesn't necessarily mean "better".

    Like for example, some people think lifting is self improvment, but as long as you're healthy and in shape I dont think having more muscle inherently makes you "better". Unless you personally prefer it.
    Well I wouldn't say that. I know I'm better than when I was 2 to 10 years ago. I view myself highly and I don't give a fuk about what other people think. I think I'm smarter, better looking and more wiser and educated too along with more laid back. I'm at my heaviest weight yet (220 lbs) and a lot more women have been coming on to me and not only that but doing me favors even without me asking for it. Better in terms of physique and intelligence...yes. Plus my conversation skills are a lot better than they were years ago.
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  5. #425
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    Well I wouldn't say that. I know I'm better than when I was 2 to 10 years ago. I view myself highly and I don't give a fuk about what other people think. I think I'm smarter, better looking and more wiser and educated too along with more laid back. I'm at my heaviest weight yet (220 lbs) and a lot more women have been coming on to me and not only that but doing me favors even without me asking for it. Better in terms of physique and intelligence...yes. Plus my conversation skills are a lot better than they were years ago.
    Well you should get smarter and wiser just by time alone, most people can say that. And in general men gain value with age as well so getting more women isnt shocking.

    To me, if you have a job you like, you have friends, you're healthy and have hobbies you like, what more are you supposed to do? It is a crime to like what you've got instead of this constant need for so-called improvement? I feel like its a very american thing to always feel like there's something wrong with you you gotta fix
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  6. #426
    Power and the money. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    Well you should get smarter and wiser just by time alone, most people can say that. And in general men gain value with age as well so getting more women isnt shocking.

    To me, if you have a job you like, you have friends, you're healthy and have hobbies you like, what more are you supposed to do? It is a crime to like what you've got instead of this constant need for so-called improvement? I feel like its a very american thing to always feel like there's something wrong with you you gotta fix
    I mean it's always good to do self improvement regardless and anyway you learn some new things about yourself. If you feel like you don't need to, don't. Vick said himself he's still doing self improvement and he's pretty successful.
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  7. #427
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    I mean it's always good to do self improvement regardless and anyway you learn some new things about yourself. If you feel like you don't need to, don't. Vick said himself he's still doing self improvement and he's pretty successful.
    Yea and I don't understand vick lol. He has the career he wants, tons of friends, hobbies, endless women. like wtf else you trying to do bruh.
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  8. #428
    Power and the money. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    Yea and I don't understand vick lol. He has the career he wants, tons of friends, hobbies, endless women. like wtf else you trying to do bruh.
    He's smart and he's trying to learn more. It's called constantly learning, not really a bad thing.
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  9. #429
    Registered User Rebel012's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    Yea and I don't understand vick lol. He has the career he wants, tons of friends, hobbies, endless women. like wtf else you trying to do bruh.
    It really depends on how you want to define self-improvement. In my view, even reading a new book and adding to your knowledge base can be a form of self-improvement. And those type of things can only benefit you in the long run.
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  10. #430
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    It really depends on how you want to define self-improvement. In my view, even reading a new book and adding to your knowledge base can be a form of self-improvement. And those type of things can only benefit you in the long run.
    reading is an example I dont understand. I like reading and read a lot of random s*it because I like too, but I dont think I'm a better person just because I read some random s*it.

    and if someone doesnt like reading, wasting time doing it doesnt make sense either
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  11. #431
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    reading is an example I dont understand. I like reading and read a lot of random s*it because I like too, but I dont think I'm a better person just because I read some random s*it.

    and if someone doesnt like reading, wasting time doing it doesnt make sense either
    I'm not talking about reading "random s*** on the net." You're right, reading stuff that's basically filler and of little value is not going to improve you. However, reading books and articles on worldly topics, or philosophical ideas, or economic theories, will enrich you in terms of your understanding of the world, which can then lead to self-reflection and help you better understand your own experiences and life outcomes. That type of internal process does improve you mentally and emotionally.
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  12. #432
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    Yea and I don't understand vick lol. He has the career he wants, tons of friends, hobbies, endless women. like wtf else you trying to do bruh.
    idk man, i just wanna be good at things i am not good at and interested in. in the future, i'd like to try stand up comedy, making music, doing different styles of lifting, cooking, etc. i dont do these things because i feel an undying urge to "improve," but because they interest me presently and i think it would be cool to learn about them. self improvement is dumb if there is no passion behind whichever particular thing youre starting to do IMO.
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  13. #433
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  14. #434
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    I'm not talking about reading "random s*** on the net." You're right, reading stuff that's basically filler and of little value is not going to improve you. However, reading books and articles on worldly topics, or philosophical ideas, or economic theories, will enrich you in terms of your understanding of the world, which can then lead to self-reflection and help you better understand your own experiences and life outcomes. That type of internal process does improve you mentally and emotionally.
    well thats what I meant, I read a lot of stuff like economics and philosophy for pure enjoyment, I dont really think it makes single difference at the end of the day its just random s*it I enjoy doing.
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  15. #435
    Registered User BigBallsMcgee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    idk man, i just wanna be good at things i am not good at and interested in. in the future, i'd like to try stand up comedy, making music, doing different styles of lifting, cooking, etc. i dont do these things because i feel an undying urge to "improve," but because they interest me presently and i think it would be cool to learn about them. self improvement is dumb if there is no passion behind whichever particular thing youre starting to do IMO.
    I see, that makes more sense but then I think its a mistermed. That's not really "self-improvement", more like self actualization where you're just pursuing the life you want.

    I have a gripe in general with the notion of self-improvement, because to me it suggests there must be something wrong with you or you're not good enough as you are. and I dont think thats the healthiest way to view things, especially if you're just an average joe blow trying to get by in life like we all pretty much are
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  16. #436
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    I see, that makes more sense but then I think its a mistermed. That's not really "self-improvement", more like self actualization where you're just pursuing the life you want.

    I have a gripe in general with the notion of self-improvement, because to me it suggests there must be something wrong with you or you're not good enough as you are. and I dont think thats the healthiest way to view things, especially if you're just an average joe blow trying to get by in life like we all pretty much are
    Self-improvement is a cultural concept. We live in a consumerist society that is very much concerned with “improving one’s lot in life’”, and we also live in a individualistic narcissistic society where everyone is mostly only looking out for themselves. I think the combination of these two sets of values has given rise to the concept of “self improvement”.

    Like yourself, I think the idea of self-actualisation is healthier.
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  17. #437
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    so i just got back from a bumble date. she was really hot. much hotter than her pics. like a reverse catfish. anyway, we had pizza and drank different ciders and stuff. it was pretty neat. walked her to her car and kissed for a little bit. i think she likes me. however i get the vibe that i probably wont hear from her much, since shes really hot and on apps so she probably has a ton of dudes chasing her. but it was fun and it was great spending time with a beautiful woman who can talk, was interested in me and my hobbies, and who was very open herself. definitely was a nice time and i'm glad she was so easy to schedule with.

    zookeeper girl is hit and miss with messaging. might have to let that one go, or at least stop caring. it's hard to with her. she provides the challenge i sort of like.

    class girl is free tomorrow night, still deciding if i wanna go. meh.

    going to NJ this weekend to see friends and gamble in atlantic city.
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  18. #438
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    so i just got back from a bumble date. she was really hot. much hotter than her pics. like a reverse catfish. anyway, we had pizza and drank different ciders and stuff. it was pretty neat. walked her to her car and kissed for a little bit. i think she likes me. however i get the vibe that i probably wont hear from her much, since shes really hot and on apps so she probably has a ton of dudes chasing her. but it was fun and it was great spending time with a beautiful woman who can talk, was interested in me and my hobbies, and who was very open herself. definitely was a nice time and i'm glad she was so easy to schedule with.

    zookeeper girl is hit and miss with messaging. might have to let that one go, or at least stop caring. it's hard to with her. she provides the challenge i sort of like.

    class girl is free tomorrow night, still deciding if i wanna go. meh.

    going to NJ this weekend to see friends and gamble in atlantic city.
    damn boi you make it seem so easy. GJDM, best of luck
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  19. #439
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    so i just got back from a bumble date. she was really hot. much hotter than her pics. like a reverse catfish. anyway, we had pizza and drank different ciders and stuff. it was pretty neat. walked her to her car and kissed for a little bit. i think she likes me. however i get the vibe that i probably wont hear from her much, since shes really hot and on apps so she probably has a ton of dudes chasing her. but it was fun and it was great spending time with a beautiful woman who can talk, was interested in me and my hobbies, and who was very open herself. definitely was a nice time and i'm glad she was so easy to schedule with.

    zookeeper girl is hit and miss with messaging. might have to let that one go, or at least stop caring. it's hard to with her. she provides the challenge i sort of like.

    class girl is free tomorrow night, still deciding if i wanna go. meh.

    going to NJ this weekend to see friends and gamble in atlantic city.
    why bother with zookeeper chick honestly? You have no shortage of options. The only dudes who should be putting up with that nonsense are those with no choice.

    Also, I'm free tonight if you decide to ditch class girl. We could meet up and watch the game or somethin
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  20. #440
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    Originally Posted by BigBallsMcgee View Post
    why bother with zookeeper chick honestly? You have no shortage of options. The only dudes who should be putting up with that nonsense are those with no choice.

    Also, I'm free tonight if you decide to ditch class girl. We could meet up and watch the game or somethin
    because she is sexy and cool and challenging. that **** is like my fuucking catnip. my ego needs it. i gotta work on that. and i will have to see. maybe i can see her for an hour or so so that i dont feel bad and come hang afterward. where do ya wanna go?
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  21. #441
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    because she is sexy and cool and challenging. that **** is like my fuucking catnip. my ego needs it. i gotta work on that. and i will have to see. maybe i can see her for an hour or so so that i dont feel bad and come hang afterward. where do ya wanna go?
    What do you mean by hit and miss with messaging?

    Like waiting days for a reply? I usually move right the F on when that happens
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  22. #442
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    Originally Posted by redliner9 View Post
    What do you mean by hit and miss with messaging?

    Like waiting days for a reply? I usually move right the F on when that happens
    she will literally just stop responding to messages until the next day when she sends me 2-3 of them. this usually happens when i try to advance the conversation with plan setting.
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  23. #443
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    she will literally just stop responding to messages until the next day when she sends me 2-3 of them. this usually happens when i try to advance the conversation with plan setting.
    I ran into that quite a bit over the summer.

    Start out with pretty good conversations for a while and when i ask to plan a date.......crickets.

    Then a few days later they would be like, "Hows your day going?"

    I was like, am i on a text buddy app or something, lol
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  24. #444
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    Originally Posted by KingofLifts View Post
    damn boi you make it seem so easy. GJDM, best of luck
    thanks my dude, honestly i dont think i am doing anything special, i am just trying to engage them in conversation and set up plans and let my presence and irl skills do the rest, but it really isn't too hard. sometimes it's weird too, gotta be able to think quickly, and i've spent 28 years failing at this lmao so lots of practice.
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  25. #445
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    Originally Posted by redliner9 View Post
    I ran into that quite a bit over the summer.

    Start out with pretty good conversations for a while and when i ask to plan a date.......crickets.

    Then a few days later they would be like, "Hows your day going?"

    I was like, am i on a text buddy app or something, lol
    yeah im not trying to do that, ive come to expect it from most of these girls now. even one i went out with two weeks ago that i documented here, she said she would text me, waited a while, and then hit me with the "busy a lot" thing after i asked her to hang again. i'm not sure what is really happening with a few of these girls who demonstrate interest, we kiss, and then it's like they flip the script instantly or its as if they just wanted something to do that day. which is so strange to me, it makes me question why I am even feeding into the game.
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  26. #446
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    because she is sexy and cool and challenging. that **** is like my fuucking catnip. my ego needs it. i gotta work on that. and i will have to see. maybe i can see her for an hour or so so that i dont feel bad and come hang afterward. where do ya wanna go?
    I could see that, but just don't let someone treat you like s*it lol, that's how it would feel to me. I'll text ya for tonight <3
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  27. #447
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    she will literally just stop responding to messages until the next day when she sends me 2-3 of them. this usually happens when i try to advance the conversation with plan setting.
    Sounds like game playing to me and a waste of time.
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  28. #448
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    Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x View Post
    because she is sexy and cool and challenging. that **** is like my fuucking catnip. my ego needs it. i gotta work on that. and i will have to see. maybe i can see her for an hour or so so that i dont feel bad and come hang afterward. where do ya wanna go?
    I got over the challenge thing a long time ago. The second a woman shows even the least bit disinterest, I'm done.
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  29. #449
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    Originally Posted by pondus_levo View Post
    I got over the challenge thing a long time ago. The second a woman shows even the least bit disinterest, I'm done.
    Same.
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  30. #450
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    Same.
    I'm here as well. As soon as I feel that "gut" feeling that something is off, turn down the investment to zero. maybe shoot a text in a week. Ive never been wrong about the gut feeling either....
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