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  1. #1
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Really lonely after breakup...How you cope with this?

    Moved here with my ex of 3 years, she cheated and broke off with me. Only been like 3 days no contact. She was my only friend here though. I start a new job on monday so hoping I can meet some cool people there. Do you guys just tough it out? I mean she was a bad gf did a lot of messed up things, besides cheating, but i miss her just because im lonely now if that makes sense. Maybe it just takes awhile to adjust to being alone? You cant always be hanging out with other people right? lol thanks
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  2. #2
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Feeling lonely is never an excuse to break nc.

    You tough it out. Some days you'll feel ok, other days will be absolutely terrible. You stick to nc.
    Once 3 months pass, you'll feel a bit better. After 6 months you'll feel a whole lot better. after a year, you'll be mostly over her.
    But nothing will fill that void except for a new better woman.

    Stay busy, hit the gym, keep improving on yourself, avoid spending time alone in your room with your thoughts. And endure it.
    Don't crack and reach out to her and don't reply if she ever reaches out to you. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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  3. #3
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by backinthegymbro View Post
    Feeling lonely is never an excuse to break nc.

    You tough it out. Some days you'll feel ok, other days will be absolutely terrible. You stick to nc.
    Once 3 months pass, you'll feel a bit better. After 6 months you'll feel a whole lot better. after a year, you'll be mostly over her.
    But nothing will fill that void except for a new better woman.

    Stay busy, hit the gym, keep improving on yourself, avoid spending time alone in your room with your thoughts. And endure it.
    Don't crack and reach out to her and don't reply if she ever reaches out to you. Once a cheater always a cheater.
    thanks m8
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    Registered User Ninshark's Avatar
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    dude, of course you will be lonely, and that's the worst part about relationships - when you break up and return back to being single and lonely. only thing is time. There are small things you can do like work on yourself and hang out with friends, but at the end of the day, you will be at home by yourself and lonely. only thing is time... I believe in you, been there a few times...
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    Registered User NealIRC's Avatar
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    ...But you're single now? So you're free to go hit on and fuk as many girls as you can.

    And you already have experience getting gfs, so.
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  6. #6
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NealIRC View Post
    ...But you're single now? So you're free to go hit on and fuk as many girls as you can.

    And you already have experience getting gfs, so.
    ya think im gonna work on myself for a bit, only been 3 days no contact lol. I tried seeing a few girls and would end up complaining about my ex to them lmao smh. Theyre like youre not over your ex. Ill take 30 days or so then get back out there. Also i'm just finding it really hard to be alone. I think i need to learn to be ok with being alone again. Its weird guess I just got so used to having someone around didnt think it would be this hard. thanks tho man.
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  7. #7
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    ya think im gonna work on myself for a bit, only been 3 days no contact lol. I tried seeing a few girls and would end up complaining about my ex to them lmao smh. Theyre like youre not over your ex. Ill take 30 days or so then get back out there. Also i'm just finding it really hard to be alone. I think i need to learn to be ok with being alone again. Its weird guess I just got so used to having someone around didnt think it would be this hard. thanks tho man.
    Don't start rebounding unless you're ready for it. Also relationships are like drugs. You become dependent on the other person for your happiness etc.
    When that drug is no longer available, your body goes through withdraw symptoms and you start missing her like crazy even though she might be a cheating kunt.
    It just takes a long time before she gets out of your system and you're able to be fine on your own again.
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  8. #8
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by backinthegymbro View Post
    Don't start rebounding unless you're ready for it. Also relationships are like drugs. You become dependent on the other person for your happiness etc.
    When that drug is no longer available, your body goes through withdraw symptoms and you start missing her like crazy even though she might be a cheating kunt.
    It just takes a long time before she gets out of your system and you're able to be fine on your own again.
    you know your shiit also i have an addictive personality, alcohol, cigs, ive quit both now, but guess theres that female addiction too. the cheating isnt even the only thing she did. about a year into our 3 year relationship, i catch her trying to contact her ex to get back together, but he denied her because he moved on. then before these past holidays she leaves the country to phillipines for four months. told me she was going to do a quick errand, next thing shes in the phillipines. All this and I was still wanting her back like a beta phag. the addiction thing makes sense. ill keep NC and hopefully forget about her soon. thanks
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  9. #9
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    you know your shiit also i have an addictive personality, alcohol, cigs, ive quit both now, but guess theres that female addiction too. the cheating isnt even the only thing she did. about a year into our 3 year relationship, i catch her trying to contact her ex to get back together, but he denied her because he moved on. then before these past holidays she leaves the country to phillipines for four months. told me she was going to do a quick errand, next thing shes in the phillipines. All this and I was still wanting her back like a beta phag. the addiction thing makes sense. ill keep NC and hopefully forget about her soon. thanks
    Use all those negative things she did to your advantage. Remember them. The more you realize how toxic she was, the easier getting over her will be.
    My ex did some pretty messed up chit, but in the end it was a blessing after i found out. Because it made staying no contact a million times easier since afterwards i had zero intentions of ever talking to her or letting her back in my life.

    Also don't underestimate how long it takes to get over someone. If you were really attached, it might take 6-12 monthhs before you really start feeling better. But regardless how long it will take, if you stay nc, keep improving yourself and keep moving forward, you'll definitely feel better in the end again.
    Last edited by backinthegymbro; 07-21-2019 at 08:44 PM.
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  10. #10
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by backinthegymbro View Post
    Use all those negative things she did to your advantage. Remember them. The more you realize how toxic she was, the easier getting over her will be.
    My ex did some pretty messed up chit, but in the end it was a blessing after i found out. Because it staying no contact a million times easier since afterwards i had zero intentions of ever talking to her or letting her back in my life.

    Also don't underestimate how long it takes to get over someone. If you were really attached, it might take 6-12 monthhs before you really start feeling better. But regardless how long it will take, if you stay nc, keep improving yourself and keep moving forward, you'll definitely feel better in the end again.
    will do, you the man
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by backinthegymbro View Post
    Don't start rebounding unless you're ready for it. Also relationships are like drugs. You become dependent on the other person for your happiness etc.
    When that drug is no longer available, your body goes through withdraw symptoms and you start missing her like crazy even though she might be a cheating kunt.
    It just takes a long time before she gets out of your system and you're able to be fine on your own again.
    This guy knows his chit.

    @OP you are about to feel like absolute chit. Having someone in your life and having to cut them out so abruptly is going to be DEPRESSING af but believe me fam there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maintain NC and avoid being alone for long periods of time.

    I know you miss her, I miss my ex too. 2 months of NC now but yours decided to betray you and lay with another man. Do not take her back under any circumstance.

    It will get a lot worse before it gets better brah but you are going to make it, cry it and it will help. Listen to a few sad songs here and there but do not forget to pull yourself out of that hole once the tears stop flowing or you'll be stuck in there. 3 years is no joke man but we are here for you

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  12. #12
    Registered User MiscInformed's Avatar
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    Yes, you just tough it out. Eventually, it'll suck less and less each day and one day you'll wake up and no longer give a chit about her.

    The loneliness is gonna be with you until you replace her, but you can take your mind off it with hobbies and keeping yourself busy. Avoid the temptation to withdraw from everything. That'll lead you to depression. You have to stay active socially. Even if you're not ready to date, go hang out with your buddies or find some new friends if your buddies are too far away.
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    Originally Posted by MiscInformed View Post
    Yes, you just tough it out. Eventually, it'll suck less and less each day and one day you'll wake up and no longer give a chit about her.

    The loneliness is gonna be with you until you replace her, but you can take your mind off it with hobbies and keeping yourself busy. Avoid the temptation to withdraw from everything. That'll lead you to depression. You have to stay active socially. Even if you're not ready to date, go hang out with your buddies or find some new friends if your buddies are too far away.
    All of this^
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  14. #14
    Known Browns Fan LikeAMachine's Avatar
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    Trust me when I tell you this, do not start dating FFS. You'll know when you are ready.

    The hardest part is the times when you don't have anything to do. Go hiking, go for a drive.....allowing your mind to be idle whilst lonely is the toughest part. You'll start "bargaining" and want to text her, just don't, it won't change anything in the end.
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  15. #15
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MiscInformed View Post
    Yes, you just tough it out. Eventually, it'll suck less and less each day and one day you'll wake up and no longer give a chit about her.

    The loneliness is gonna be with you until you replace her, but you can take your mind off it with hobbies and keeping yourself busy. Avoid the temptation to withdraw from everything. That'll lead you to depression. You have to stay active socially. Even if you're not ready to date, go hang out with your buddies or find some new friends if your buddies are too far away.
    makes me want to drink to be honest, I did that at first, but didnt help. trying to stay busy
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    it's not that easy to just act like nothing has changed... there will be a period of time where you feel ****ty, it's natural... i'd recommend getting into a hobby you haven't had time to pick up or further expanding your knowledge of something you already are into. It's hard when you realize you now have a lot of solo free time. Sure you should also get out there and smash, but working on yourself will prove to be the better use of your time in the long run. You will make it, just have faith and realize feeling empty is natural at first.
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    Do you have close family and friends back home you can talk to? That void is perfectly natural, you're grieving a loss, and no you aren't ready to date yet.

    Whenever you find yourself ruminating, like lying in bed in the morning, force yourself to get up and go do something productive.

    And the biggest thing, know that time will improve things. You won't believe it now, but it will. You'll get to a place where you think of her as a scumbag cheater and not have your mind inject happy memories.
    𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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    Focus on pushing the needle forward and improving your life.

    Improve your income, health, wealth, physique, get on online dating sites, begin learning how to do cold approach
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  19. #19
    Registered User ryankoch's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the replies, been watching youtube videos on loneliness, getting over ex and reading this thread. keep feeling tempted to drink, but im trying to improve myself, get in best shape etc.. and if i drank I know id be pissed tomorrow morning.
    Last edited by ryankoch; 07-22-2019 at 06:15 PM.
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    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    Thanks for all the replies, been watching youtube videos on loneliness, getting over ex and reading this thread. keep feeling tempted to drink, but im trying to improve myself, get in best shape etc.. and if i drank I know id be pissed tomorrow morning.
    Definitely don't drink. Use the breakup as fuel to lift, run, learn, etc. -- leverage this loss to your favor, now have more free time to improve yourself.
    𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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    Registered User intense77's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    Thanks for all the replies, been watching youtube videos on loneliness, getting over ex and reading this thread. keep feeling tempted to drink, but im trying to improve myself, get in best shape etc.. and if i drank I know id be pissed tomorrow morning.
    Take a few months off drinking for sure. If you think you feel ****ty now sober, waking up super hungover after something like this is an extremely brutal feeling.
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    Thanks for all the replies, been watching youtube videos on loneliness, getting over ex and reading this thread. keep feeling tempted to drink, but im trying to improve myself, get in best shape etc.. and if i drank I know id be pissed tomorrow morning.
    do NOT drink. fall into that rabbit hole of self pity and loathing and see yourself never get out.

    Lift, channel the anger into your lifts.
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    Originally Posted by ryankoch View Post
    Thanks for all the replies, been watching youtube videos on loneliness, getting over ex and reading this thread. keep feeling tempted to drink, but im trying to improve myself, get in best shape etc.. and if i drank I know id be pissed tomorrow morning.
    check out luxlife pickup
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