Runner/soccer player looking to build strength/muscle (intuitive eating)

[konrad1198]

I had a period in my pre-teen life where I was a bit overweight (6'0" 190-200 lbs). One summer, between junior and senior year, I just completely changed (thanks puberty), hit a pretty good growth spurt of 2-3 inches and slimmed down to 165 lbs with a bit of nutritional modification (aka not eating 3 Dunkin' Donuts croissants, 2 donuts, and a large iced caramel latte with whipped cream after school every day). However, this weight loss, along with the seemingly endless pressures that come with being a high school senior, made me really anxious about gaining the weight back. Unfortunately, this is when I discovered MyFitnessPal and calorie counting. Ever since then, I've been on a roller coaster of disordered eating patterns, affected by a combination of family and friend's comments/attention on my weight, YouTubers pushing things like IF and IIFYM, and the vast amounts of diets portrayed by the media.

I also recently got an Apple Watch, which may have contributed to my problems with food/weight. When you set your move goal to 900-1000 calories a day and realize that the quickest way to close these rings is by running/doing a lot of cardio (which makes weightlifting seem inferior, although why the f***should a watch tell me how many cals I burned/should burn). I guess the one benefit I got out of this watch is I discovered I'm pretty good at running. I've played soccer all my life, and it's my no. 1 passion, but after high school and getting older, your friends are more interested in drinking/partying instead of going out on the field and playing. My paces are usually anywhere from 6:00-7:00 min/mile, depending on the workout, temperature, sleep, etc.

I've been consistently running for 2 years now, and have gotten now to the point where I am currently running anywhere from 60-80 mpw. This is pretty taxing on my body, and I have been lacking the strength to motivate myself to go to the gym at least a couple times per week to perform some form of cross-training/injury prevention.

GOALS:

I want to run a half-marathon in the near future. I've never competitively ran/raced before, and I want to at least try it once. Who knows, maybe I'll love it, maybe not.

In terms of strength training, my number 1 priority is to stick to a program consistently for at least 12 weeks. I'm thinking of doing 5x5 or Starting Strength, and then transitioning over to something like Defranco's WS4SB or Athlean-X. As you can tell, I'm more concerned with boosting my athletic performance for when I do play soccer (2x a week) and just for general fitness, since running is such a repetitive sport that can cause a lot of overuse injuries. I want to be able to do a bunch of things, like develop some solid calisthenics skills, lift weights, use things like prowlers/strongman equipment, etc.

Especially in the summer when I got some time, I plan on doing my runs in the morning (anywhere from 8-15 miles depending on the day) and my weightlifting at night. While I know I won't have as much free time in the future when I go back to college, I hope at least I can build a solid level of strength/consistent workout pattern, and as someone who used to tinker around with weightlifting/strength training (albeit never consistent), maybe I'll grow to appreciate it more.

DIET:

I do admit I still struggle with my diet. Recently, I've been viewing my running as a way to "earn" my calories. Basically what I do is estimate about 2000 calories for my BMR plus NEAT, and add 100 calories for every mile I run. As you can probably guess, this leads to the mindset of more miles=more food, which inevitably leads to overtraining, junk miles, and neglecting weight training for more running (sometimes I run twice a day). I run before I eat, usually first thing in the morning, mainly because I don't like the feeling of food in my stomach when doing cardio.

I will also be trying to follow an intuitive eating approach. Trust me, I am not starting from a minimalistic knowledge of nutrition. I've routinely and neurotically tracked/measured EVERYTHING I've put into my mouth some days (up to the last 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract I put in my smoothie). I don't know whether I've been underrating, since I strive to eat at least 3000 calories per day, up to 3600. With this mileage however, I've been feeling weak and tired recently, and something tells me I'm just naturally not one to put on weight, despite my short period of time when I was a bit chubby. Plus, once I incorporate strength training into my routine, I'll definitely need some more cals for recovery. Not to mention, tracking calories/macros leaves me feeling way too obsessed with food, not eating my parents' cooking since I don't know exactly how many calories there is in it, saving my calories for the nighttime, etc. With a more intuitive eating approach, I feel like it will give me a lot more mental freedom and peace of mind. Plus, I love to cook/try new foods and restaurants, and having to measure every single ingredient/worrying about its caloric content is not enjoyable. I'm not looking to compete/look a certain way, just want to perform.

STATS:

20 years old male
6'2"
150 lbs (I don't weigh myself anymore, but this was my weight a couple weeks ago at the doctor's for yearly checkup)


Hopefully, this log will keep me accountable. Coming from a disordered eating background, I know there will be days where these thoughts about restricting food intake/counting calories will come back, but I'm fed up with living a life where I devote almost all my time to such petty and unimportant matters.

[ultrainstinctv2]

Good luck dude. Running is life, running is love!

[Tucane]

Good that you've started to eat intuitively!

IMO it's the way to go for eating to ones needs. Listening to hunger cues and cravings tell us more than arbitrary numbers do. IRL our needs differ a lot from day to day.

It sounds like your goals are healthy and keeping that intent in mind will help you through the rough times. Ultimately it's about projected control onto food and letting go of it step by step.

Best of luck with your future goals!