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  1. #1
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    How Serious Are This Girls Red Flags??

    I met this chick online, I dumped her two weeks ago.

    Did I do the right thing??


    We dated for 4 months, the sex was insane, and she was the hottest girl I ever dated.


    I also enjoyed her company and we had things in common.


    She even talked about me moving in with her, meeting her family etc. I got totally sucked into this idea of getting serious with her.


    However what are your thoughts on the Red Flags??



    01.Was abused as a child from the age of 5 upwards.


    02.Has self harmed herself at some point in the past, has scars on her arms.


    03.Has worked as a semi nude dancer in bars & clubs & various hotels around the world some years ago, maybe 8 years ago.

    04.Has done nude modelling, bondage modelling & has been involved with pornography too.. she told me she never took part in pornography, only filming it (Could be lying)

    05.The guy she did the nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month.. I think he runs a photography company, but dabbles in porno too.

    He looks old and ugly, probably in his 60s, but she claims they have never had sex, and wants me to be okay with the situation or for me to be present everytime he comes over to sleep at her house.

    How can this situation be strictly platonic, when he has photographed or filmed her private parts?

    06.She uses cocaine occasionally and has a friend who is addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to.. Financially irresponsible!

    Also I don't know how serious her cocaine use is, she could be an addict for all
    I know, or become an addict one day.


    07.She has many male friends, and talks about them very often.


    08.She claims to have taken part in a 3sum and foursome in the past, but didn't enjoy it.


    09.She has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship too, but claims they didn't have sex, she
    Just couldn't be with men anymore.


    10.She admits to having intamicy issues, due to her history.


    11.She made little effort to text me..Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes. The communication between us, was rather brief and regimented.


    13. We once had a little fallout, and she pulled away, and reduced communication with me, imstead of talking things over like an adult.

    14. She invited me to her brothers birthday party, everyone was pretty drunk.. One of the very close family freinds said to me.. GOOD LUCK MATE, SHE IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW.


    That really scared me... I kind of feel like she is too damaged to have a relationship with.. and she doesn't have good morality or values.

    The nudity and porn she claims is all in her past years ago, however it is still a reflection of her character.

    Also keep in mind... The pornographer is still on the scene and stops at her house, and she still uses cocaine.

    How do i know that she won't get into financial difficulties one day, and with the encouragement of the pornographer start doing nudity again or worse?

    The influence and the cocaine is still there.
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  2. #2
    Registered User rahfulz's Avatar
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    I wouldn’t take the relationship with her past casual dating. Those are some serious red flags man. Don’t let how hot she is cloud your judgement.
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  3. #3
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rahfulz View Post
    I wouldn’t take the relationship with her past casual dating. Those are some serious red flags man. Don’t let how hot she is cloud your judgement.
    I already caught some feels for her man... So decided to dump her, before I get too deep with her.

    Questioning my decision a little though.
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  4. #4
    Registered User rahfulz's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    I already caught some feels for her man... So decided to dump her, before I get too deep with her.

    Questioning my decision a little though.
    Only you can make the call, but I personally think you made the right choice. There will be others.
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  5. #5
    Registered User maciejmuta's Avatar
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    Is this a joke. After the first point you've made all the rest that followed make a whole lot of sense. Yes, she would be your future problem. Don't get involved. You made t eh right choice to dump her. There are more red flags here than at a communist parade.
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  6. #6
    ComeAtMeBrah Joeydiesel7's Avatar
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    Sooo...

    Where are the pics??
    "The shadows betray you because they belong to me"

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  7. #7
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    I understand what you say.

    But these type of woman are soooo fukin HOT and just incredible in bed, willing to absolutely anything sexually.

    I suppose this is how they suck you in? With crazy hot sex... Then totally leave you mind fuked later.

    I could tell I was starting to like her... But my gut instinct suggested she will be serious TROUBLE if a fall for her.

    The old man who was her pornographer is still on the scene with her, even sleeps at her house.

    Also she still claims to occasionally use cocaine... Two very bad influences that could lead her to doing what she used to do in the past... Nudity or porn.
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  8. #8
    Banned ssilv's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post

    But these type of woman are soooo fukin HOT and just incredible in bed, willing to absolutely anything sexually.

    I suppose this is how they suck you in? With crazy hot sex... Then totally leave you mind fuked later.
    just lol if you think that will actually last, especially once you move in with her
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  9. #9
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ssilv View Post
    just lol if you think that will actually last, especially once you move in with her
    True it could all come to a sudden end with the sex, or only on her terms.

    I really shouldn't have caught feels for this one.
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  10. #10
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    I met this chick online, I dumped her two weeks ago.

    Did I do the right thing??


    We dated for 4 months, the sex was insane, and she was the hottest girl I ever dated. - This is a good thing.


    I also enjoyed her company and we had things in common. - This is the most important thing.


    She even talked about me moving in with her, meeting her family etc. I got totally sucked into this idea of getting serious with her. - Nice to have plans and dream.


    However what are your thoughts on the Red Flags??



    01.Was abused as a child from the age of 5 upwards. - Need to examine these and it can impact how someone develops into an adult. Doesn't mean a bad thing.


    02.Has self harmed herself at some point in the past, has scars on her arms. - This needs to be examined.


    03.Has worked as a semi nude dancer in bars & clubs & various hotels around the world some years ago, maybe 8 years ago. - Interesting work. Free spirit.

    04.Has done nude modelling, bondage modelling & has been involved with pornography too.. she told me she never took part in pornography, only filming it (Could be lying) - Again interesting work and I would be cautious what's true and what isn't.

    05.The guy she did the nude modelling for, the photographer stops at her house with her, every other month.. I think he runs a photography company, but dabbles in porno too. - Why does he come there? What is their relationship? Does he use her for money?

    He looks old and ugly, probably in his 60s, but she claims they have never had sex, and wants me to be okay with the situation or for me to be present everytime he comes over to sleep at her house.

    How can this situation be strictly platonic, when he has photographed or filmed her private parts? - Porn workers often say it's just work and there is no relationships.

    06.She uses cocaine occasionally and has a friend who is addicted to cocaine, that she lends money to.. Financially irresponsible! - Cocaine is a red flag unless you do it too.

    Also I don't know how serious her cocaine use is, she could be an addict for all
    I know, or become an addict one day.


    07.She has many male friends, and talks about them very often. - Male friends is NOT a red flag.


    08.She claims to have taken part in a 3sum and foursome in the past, but didn't enjoy it. - Details of threesomes and foursomes? Why do it then?


    09.She has had a 6 year Lesbian relationship too, but claims they didn't have sex, she
    Just couldn't be with men anymore. - Bi sexual, thats fine if you are okay with it.


    10.She admits to having intamicy issues, due to her history. - This is not that uncommon.


    11.She made little effort to text me..Usually only hear from her once a day, for a few minutes. The communication between us, was rather brief and regimented. - This is not a good thing. Serious relationships require more.


    13. We once had a little fallout, and she pulled away, and reduced communication with me, imstead of talking things over like an adult. - Red flag for future issues and communications.

    14. She invited me to her brothers birthday party, everyone was pretty drunk.. One of the very close family freinds said to me.. GOOD LUCK MATE, SHE IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW. - Could be a jealous guy, maybe not. Could also be an ex of hers.


    That really scared me... I kind of feel like she is too damaged to have a relationship with.. and she doesn't have good morality or values.

    The nudity and porn she claims is all in her past years ago, however it is still a reflection of her character.

    Also keep in mind... The pornographer is still on the scene and stops at her house, and she still uses cocaine.

    How do i know that she won't get into financial difficulties one day, and with the encouragement of the pornographer start doing nudity again or worse?

    The influence and the cocaine is still there.
    I wrote comments above so have a read. For me personally, I would not be interested in dating someone like this. It would be hard to bond with this person as I would always question who she really is as a person. We all have different tolerances and what we are and are not okay with. I have a friend who dates girls like this. Super hot, awesome sex, checkered backgrounds, likes to party, etc. It often doesn't end well but he is attracted to that type of person. He would never be happy with the boring girl next door.

    There are porn stars out there that have pasts of being a prostitute, stripper, etc and then can end up with husbands and kids and be very loyal. Lots of couples out there have group sex, do drugs and participate in things that would scare others off. That's who these people end up with.

    Maybe write down on a piece of paper what you always wanted for yourself when it comes to a partner. Take a step back and think about it.
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  11. #11
    Just Eat it! Jellotree's Avatar
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    Add "owns three cats and gets migraines all the time" and you've got yourself a 150% guaranteed nut job there.
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  12. #12
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by renaissancebro View Post
    you're in too deep already man. if you had a friend who's dating a girl with these qualities what would you say:

    - former stripper
    - pornographer
    - uses HARD drugs
    - hangs out with shady/sleazy people/pornographers who regularly visit her place
    - has had 3 somes asnd possibly LOTS of partners
    - financially irresponsible
    - most probably no career aspirations

    if you're on the same wavelength as her (some hardcore low inhibition lifestyle guys are) then continue, but seeing you're only 4 months you did the right thing. and yes, the sex is out of this world because people like that have had lots of practice and usually only bring that to the table (along with a smorgasbord of unresolved mental issues) srs.

    edit: lol @ moving in after 4 months and meeting the family - you're probably the nice dependable guy she wants to show off to her fam (the poor alphas she dated before you weren't worthy)
    This is pretty spot on. Unless she is completely mentally stable and has a real ability to navigate through life I now think you did the right thing. Actually, you thinking you may have made a mistake just shows you are a compassionate individual that likely has something to offer a different woman.
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  13. #13
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by renaissancebro View Post
    you're in too deep already man. if you had a friend who's dating a girl with these qualities what would you say:

    - former stripper
    - pornographer
    - uses HARD drugs
    - hangs out with shady/sleazy people/pornographers who regularly visit her place
    - has had 3 somes asnd possibly LOTS of partners
    - financially irresponsible
    - most probably no career aspirations

    if you're on the same wavelength as her (some hardcore low inhibition lifestyle guys are) then continue, but seeing you're only 4 months you did the right thing. and yes, the sex is out of this world because people like that have had lots of practice and usually only bring that to the table (along with a smorgasbord of unresolved mental issues) srs.

    edit: lol @ moving in after 4 months and meeting the family - you're probably the nice dependable guy she wants to show off to her fam (the poor alphas she dated before you weren't worthy)
    That was my worst worry.

    She claimed the nudity and pornography is in the PAST

    However the old sleazy pornographer is still in the picture... The cocaine is still in the picture.

    Why should I have to go over to her house whenever this pornographer comes over to her house every other month.

    Why should i be in the same room as the man who used to take pictures of her vagina?

    Also I don't know how serious her cocaine use is.

    She told me, she only uses cocaine when she goes out drinking. But that could be a fukin lie.. an addict would always lie about the addiction.

    I don't know man.. I really liked her... but those red flags, makes me feel like in the future I would be in a world of pain.

    I'm hurting right now.. but years down the line, I could be a broken man.
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  14. #14
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    That was my worst worry.

    She claimed the nudity and pornography is in the PAST

    However the old sleazy pornographer is still in the picture... The cocaine is still in the picture.

    Why should I have to go over to her house whenever this pornographer comes over to her house every other month.

    Why should i be in the same room as the man who used to take pictures of her vagina?

    Also I don't know how serious her cocaine use is.

    She told me, she only uses cocaine when she goes out drinking. But that could be a fukin lie.. an addict would always lie about the addiction.

    I don't know man.. I really liked her... but those red flags, makes me feel like in the future I would be in a world of pain.

    I'm hurting right now.. but years down the line, I could be a broken man.

    After reading all of this you made the right choice. The drugs is a dead stop for me.
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  15. #15
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    After reading all of this you made the right choice. The drugs is a dead stop for me.
    In front of me, she did a bank transfer to her friend from her phone, her friend needed some money because she has a coke habit.

    How could I trust a woman who keeps friends who are coke heads.
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    Op, after the first one I would have ran for the high hills. What were you thinking when you got in a relationship with her in the first place?
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  17. #17
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    Op, after the first one I would have ran for the high hills. What were you thinking when you got in a relationship with her in the first place?
    Bruv she didn't reveal much about herself till a couple of months in...

    I absolutely convinced myself that I could keep seeing her as a casual fuk.... However the amazing sex and her amazing body, got me developing the FEELS

    Without a doubt the hottest girl I ever dated... She was up for anything sexually... 3sums, foursomes etc...


    I eventually woke up and realised, what kinda damaged woman I was dealing with... So decided to dump her.

    That puzzy of hers, was like crack to a fukin junkie!
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    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by renaissancebro View Post
    its good you jumped ship, but we dont know how long you will hold this. guys have a tendency to bitch out and start contacting again cause of the company and sex but ill just say this, DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER. the rest is up to you and how you want your life story to play out.

    I would never get back with her, but I have to admit.... I have seriously entertained the idea, of keeping her around as a fuk buddy.


    Because that is all she should have been in the first place...
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  19. #19
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    I would never get back with her, but I have to admit.... I have seriously entertained the idea, of keeping her around as a fuk buddy.


    Because that is all she should have been in the first place...
    After reading more and you explaining she was transferring money to her friend for her coke habit she is “currently” displaying a serious lack of good judgement. I don’t feel this is acceptable behaviour. Don’t let good sex with a hot chick muddy your thoughts. Good decision.
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    Bruv she didn't reveal much about herself till a couple of months in...

    I absolutely convinced myself that I could keep seeing her as a casual fuk.... However the amazing sex and her amazing body, got me developing the FEELS

    Without a doubt the hottest girl I ever dated... She was up for anything sexually... 3sums, foursomes etc...


    I eventually woke up and realised, what kinda damaged woman I was dealing with... So decided to dump her.

    That puzzy of hers, was like crack to a fukin junkie!
    Yeah I can understand your point of view. But I think we as men need to look past those things and vet these chicks carefully before smashing. Im guilty of this myself but I’ve started vetting females more thoroughly and find that a lot of chicks fall flat on their bums after a few dates.

    Dont let this chick affect your self worth. Keep looking and as rule of thumb if she has 3 minor red flags or 2 major ones you should bail. Thats something that I stick with
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    Same way we should of known Communism wouldn't work opie, too many red flags.
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    its a large sea my man. This was definitely a good move. To many red flags. Way to many issues. Move on to the next.
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    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    I feel like I fuked up bros!


    Giving this chick exclusivity, what the hell was I thinking!

    Clearly she is smash and dash and nothing more.

    She probably lost attraction too, because I tried to wife her up... WTF


    Do you think she is worth pulling back in as a FWB?

    Or she is too toxic.... and I should just move on!
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    Originally Posted by Soulforge2015 View Post
    I feel like I fuked up bros!


    Giving this chick exclusivity, what the hell was I thinking!

    Clearly she is smash and dash and nothing more.

    She probably lost attraction too, because I tried to wife her up... WTF


    Do you think she is worth pulling back in as a FWB?

    Or she is too toxic.... and I should just move on!
    You should move on, you already claim that you caught feels. Won’t end well to try to be FWB.

    Also, you can’t just say she’s smokin hot and not post a single pic!
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  25. #25
    Nah mean, jelly bean? FU3L's Avatar
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    That's basically every red flag possible, not sure why you would need reassurance here.
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    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FU3L View Post
    That's basically every red flag possible, not sure why you would need reassurance here.

    Every red flag under the sun... However I am very pizzed at myself for even considering her for LTR

    Have you guys ever gotten the feels for the WRONG chick?
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  27. #27
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    5 is the worst.

    If that bothers you and she's not willing to "leave her past behind" then tour's over boyo.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    5 is the worst.

    If that bothers you and she's not willing to "leave her past behind" then tour's over boyo.
    Bruv she is holding onto this pornographer... She expects me to come over to her house, every time he sleeps over at hers, rather than telling him to stop over in a fukin hotel.


    This pornographer she has known for YEARS... she claims that he is the only guy who understands her, and doesn't judge her... meaning her sleazy past, and the sexual abuse.

    I have known her 4 months... I absolutely will not babysit this sleazy relationship they have.

    She sent me a slefie of them both together... he looks a fukin wierdo sleezy **** type.

    About 5ft3, bald and ugly as fuk in his 60s... maybe he is her cocaine dealer or like a pimp type figure.

    Maybe he has money and influence.
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  29. #29
    Registered User WestAfrica's Avatar
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    Tbh coke ain’t that serious but ya drop her.
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  30. #30
    Registered User Soulforge2015's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WestAfrica View Post
    Tbh coke ain’t that serious but 3ya drop her.
    Depends bruv... she did nude modelling for some years, those hoes take drugs and dik all of the time.

    What if her occasionally coke usage became an addiction...
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