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  1. #1
    GeNeTiX fOr TeRrOr Paulie1986's Avatar
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    Red face Dumbest Newbie Thing You've Done On A Nutrition Plan

    I decided at around 167lbs in 2009 that I wanted to bulk after reading one too many FLEX magazines.

    My usual amount of calories beforehand was just over 2100...and somehow got in my mind that I needed close to 5000 like someone's nutrition plan I'd read about.

    So for 3 weeks I made myself sick trying to eat that amount every day. Spent most of the day eating and visiting the toilet.


    Anybody else do anything near as stupid as beginners? This may help out any others that are starting up.
    I have a good joke about water retention. But I'm going to hold onto it for now.

    I'm not an elevator, but I certainly do lift.

    Going to the gym? Ha, it's just a weights of time.

    Steroids and ass. They certainly go well together.

    I'm the BB king..of puns. I train my back using only fish. I love my macker-rows.
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  2. #2
    THE OG 1MANU's Avatar
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    I did something similar when I first started but for 3 years...lol. Ate 4000-5000cal/day. I just ate everything I could get my hands on, trained balls out, and was very very consistent. Could count on one hand how many training sessions I missed during that span.

    Built a solid foundation though and some serious strength. Definitely put on unneeded bodyfat and that kind of surplus wasn't needed. It was fun eating though! Went from starting weight of ~170lbs to ~220lbs...lol. Not a huge deal though. Easy to cut. Much harder to gain.
    Strong Mind + Strong Body = UNSTOPPABLE
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  3. #3
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Mainly just eating boring ass crap 8 times a day for a long time...

    I went through a purist phase in college for like a year where it was almost entirely egg whites, oats, broccoli, chicken, whey... and I was obsessed with spacing them out every 2-3 hours.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  4. #4
    pay the iron price SuffolkPunch's Avatar
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    I started out trying to track macros which was obviously a good start - but proceeded to make wild estimates about how much was in different things. That was the only real blunder other than buying CLA...
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    Registered User yuliangolodnykh's Avatar
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    I also was doing something very similar when I first started my fitness journey. I was a complete dumbass. I didn't pay attention to calories or what I was putting into my body. I just wanted to get big. I ate 5-6 times a day, huge meals. And I also drank mass gainers in addition to other supplements. I would feel like **** after every meal. I stopped with that nonsense after 6 weeks of hating myself.
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    Gaintaining Mrpb's Avatar
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    Following a nutrition plan.

    Oh no wait, I've never done that.
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    Registered User waknickm's Avatar
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    I would eat a 2k calorie mass gainer shake and then spend 2 1/2 at the gym after that doing cardio when I first started
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    Is this the real life? Budjola's Avatar
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    broc and chicken and ran 90 minutes to cut - FML
    1 lbs of rice and peanut butter and stopped running when i decided to bulk -FML

    now im no carnivore diet and i couldnt be happier with myself and my diet
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    Registered User hardyboysare's Avatar
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    The daftest thing I done was think protein couldn't get you fat so consumed a sh** tonne as more has to be better of course.

    Went from lean 85kg to 105kg in about 6 months turns out very high protein will make you fat.
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  10. #10
    Registered User JackMan017's Avatar
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    Convincing myself my TDEE is higher than it really is
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    Registered User DougyF7's Avatar
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    Too many to list I feel:

    Too little sodium
    Too much water
    Too much protein – still struggle with this to a degree, I feel
    Too little calories and then trying to gain more muscle, but stay lean
    Not ever eating fast food or dessert items – biggest mistake – still smart to keep them more to a minimum though
    Taking countless supps – fat burners, preworkouts
    Caring too much about my physique in terms of who it makes me as a person
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  12. #12
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SuffolkPunch View Post
    I started out trying to track macros which was obviously a good start - but proceeded to make wild estimates about how much was in different things. That was the only real blunder other than buying CLA...
    I definitely bought CLA back in the day, but I think the dumbest supplement I ever bought simply because of how long I used it for was BCAA's... i used to drink them religiously (xtend) sipping all day because I thought it would help me so much. Also took a lot of random supplements like vitargo post workout, etc, in large amounts cuz of course I needed it...
    The power of carbs compels me!
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    Registered User Ghawk21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SuffolkPunch View Post
    I started out trying to track macros which was obviously a good start - but proceeded to make wild estimates about how much was in different things. That was the only real blunder other than buying CLA...
    A young me was convinced by a GNC employee to purchase CLA as a liquid you consume with a spoon. It was facking nasty and its still my biggest supplement regret. Dumbest thing I've done would be trying to eat 100% clean with stupid amounts of baked chicken, rice and broccoli then eventually binging on anything with flavor.
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    Registered User climbrunlift's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yuliangolodnykh View Post
    I also was doing something very similar when I first started my fitness journey. I was a complete dumbass. I didn't pay attention to calories or what I was putting into my body. I just wanted to get big. I ate 5-6 times a day, huge meals. And I also drank mass gainers in addition to other supplements. I would feel like **** after every meal. I stopped with that nonsense after 6 weeks of hating myself.
    This is exactly what I did at first, I gained about 30 lbs in 6 weeks trying to "bulk up" and ended up looking like my before photo. On the bright side most my lifts more than doubled in that timespan.
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    Not Tracking Tucane's Avatar
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    I was also guilty of spending too much money on crap like BCAA's and other useless supplements with no or minor effects... could have spent it on food or whatever. Live and learn^^
    ~ Feel free to PM me if you have any questions ~

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    GeNeTiX fOr TeRrOr Paulie1986's Avatar
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    Wow some amazing stories here.


    Also I had some crazy vision my gainz would be wasted at night so for about a few weeks I woke up halfway through the night to eat cottage cheese and casein protein powder.
    I have a good joke about water retention. But I'm going to hold onto it for now.

    I'm not an elevator, but I certainly do lift.

    Going to the gym? Ha, it's just a weights of time.

    Steroids and ass. They certainly go well together.

    I'm the BB king..of puns. I train my back using only fish. I love my macker-rows.
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  17. #17
    I love my power hour MrCarrot's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 1MANU View Post
    I did something similar when I first started but for 3 years...lol. Ate 4000-5000cal/day. I just ate everything I could get my hands on, trained balls out, and was very very consistent. Could count on one hand how many training sessions I missed during that span.

    Built a solid foundation though and some serious strength. Definitely put on unneeded bodyfat and that kind of surplus wasn't needed. It was fun eating though! Went from starting weight of ~170lbs to ~220lbs...lol. Not a huge deal though. Easy to cut. Much harder to gain.
    I did exactly the same thing 10 years ago and went from and to very similar weights. My size and strength went through the roof, but I gained a lot of fat. I looked great with a shirt on but not too good naked. Sadly I gave up before I ever had the chance to cut!

    10 years on I had to spend almost a year cutting - sadly the muscle and strength gains were long gone by then. I'm now back down to around 165 pounds.
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  18. #18
    Registered User cljolley's Avatar
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    When I was in highschool I convinced myself I was a hardgainer and bought a stupid amount of gainer powder on sale. The first one I mixed up double the amount it called for and slammed the resultant 3000 calorie goo and promptly yakked it up. I still believed I needed like 4000 calories a day for my 120 pound self to gain any weight.
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  19. #19
    GeNeTiX fOr TeRrOr Paulie1986's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cljolley View Post
    When I was in highschool I convinced myself I was a hardgainer and bought a stupid amount of gainer powder on sale. The first one I mixed up double the amount it called for and slammed the resultant 3000 calorie goo and promptly yakked it up. I still believed I needed like 4000 calories a day for my 120 pound self to gain any weight.
    Pretty much what I did, but I did it all with food. My mum wasn't too pleased I needed the cooker every 2 hours or my anabolic window would be sacrificed. I was 170-ish pounds going for about 5k calories a day.

    I did forge a relationship with the toilet bowl on a few occasions.
    I have a good joke about water retention. But I'm going to hold onto it for now.

    I'm not an elevator, but I certainly do lift.

    Going to the gym? Ha, it's just a weights of time.

    Steroids and ass. They certainly go well together.

    I'm the BB king..of puns. I train my back using only fish. I love my macker-rows.
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  20. #20
    Registered User Orionion's Avatar
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    I've gone through a few diets. Fortunately, I tend to obsessively research everything I do before I do it, and I'm generally in favor of a balanced diet, which means that I haven't made huge mistakes in terms of what I actually put into my body. The stupidity comes in when I try to create systems for figuring out what to put into my body and tracking it. In short, I have a tendency to be a bit OCD.

    For example, over the winter I decided to try and control/keep track of what I was eating, including all of the macronutrients and micronutrients. I created a massive spreadsheet, with the macronutrients and micronutrients on the top (calories, protein, carbs, and fat, with the cals, grams, and % for each; fiber, sugar, omega-3s, omega-6s, omega-3/omega-6 ratio, and 12 other micronutrients). I set a daily goal for each macro- and micronutrient based on daily recommendations. I had a massive list of 270 ingredients in the left column. Then I looked up all the macro- and micronutrients for every ingredient and put them in my spreadsheet. The system was such that I could put in the grams for each ingredient that I ate and the spreadsheet would spit out the totals for each nutrient at the top, so I could see if I had met my goals.

    As can be expected, once I started using the spreadsheet I started going a little bananas. If you thought balancing four dietary goals was hard (calories, protein, fat, carbs), try balancing 26. Potassium was a daily struggle. Getting enough fiber while keeping my carbs down was a tightrope walk. Getting enough omega-3 without blowing through my fat allotment was a near thing. I realized that even though I had 270 ingredients on there, every other day or so, I would encounter a new ingredient not on my spreadsheet and I would have to input all the nutrients for that thing. In order for it to be accurate, I had to weigh each ingredient I cooked with (or convert, for example, cups to grams). I'm seventeen now, so my mother often cooked dinners, and she for sure wasn't going to weigh her ingredients. I estimated by using the recipe and then converting the measurements to grams. I had to dedicate a significant amount of time each day just to tracking my nutrients.

    I lasted about a month, which I'm honestly proud of. I'm sure that during that month my diet was better than it has ever been before or since, but my mind went kapoot. My knuckles honestly got scaly from the stress.
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    Registered User Ghawk21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Orionion View Post
    I've gone through a few diets. Fortunately, I tend to obsessively research everything I do before I do it, and I'm generally in favor of a balanced diet, which means that I haven't made huge mistakes in terms of what I actually put into my body. The stupidity comes in when I try to create systems for figuring out what to put into my body and tracking it. In short, I have a tendency to be a bit OCD.

    For example, over the winter I decided to try and control/keep track of what I was eating, including all of the macronutrients and micronutrients. I created a massive spreadsheet, with the macronutrients and micronutrients on the top (calories, protein, carbs, and fat, with the cals, grams, and % for each; fiber, sugar, omega-3s, omega-6s, omega-3/omega-6 ratio, and 12 other micronutrients). I set a daily goal for each macro- and micronutrient based on daily recommendations. I had a massive list of 270 ingredients in the left column. Then I looked up all the macro- and micronutrients for every ingredient and put them in my spreadsheet. The system was such that I could put in the grams for each ingredient that I ate and the spreadsheet would spit out the totals for each nutrient at the top, so I could see if I had met my goals.

    As can be expected, once I started using the spreadsheet I started going a little bananas. If you thought balancing four dietary goals was hard (calories, protein, fat, carbs), try balancing 26. Potassium was a daily struggle. Getting enough fiber while keeping my carbs down was a tightrope walk. Getting enough omega-3 without blowing through my fat allotment was a near thing. I realized that even though I had 270 ingredients on there, every other day or so, I would encounter a new ingredient not on my spreadsheet and I would have to input all the nutrients for that thing. In order for it to be accurate, I had to weigh each ingredient I cooked with (or convert, for example, cups to grams). I'm seventeen now, so my mother often cooked dinners, and she for sure wasn't going to weigh her ingredients. I estimated by using the recipe and then converting the measurements to grams. I had to dedicate a significant amount of time each day just to tracking my nutrients.

    I lasted about a month, which I'm honestly proud of. I'm sure that during that month my diet was better than it has ever been before or since, but my mind went kapoot. My knuckles honestly got scaly from the stress.
    Haha, good on yea for creating a spreadsheet but there's a website called cronometer that would have saved you a massive amount of time and stress. I don't use it religiously by any stretch but occasionally input some of my more regular meals/days to check on micros.
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    GeNeTiX fOr TeRrOr Paulie1986's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Orionion View Post
    I've gone through a few diets. Fortunately, I tend to obsessively research everything I do before I do it, and I'm generally in favor of a balanced diet, which means that I haven't made huge mistakes in terms of what I actually put into my body. The stupidity comes in when I try to create systems for figuring out what to put into my body and tracking it. In short, I have a tendency to be a bit OCD.

    For example, over the winter I decided to try and control/keep track of what I was eating, including all of the macronutrients and micronutrients. I created a massive spreadsheet, with the macronutrients and micronutrients on the top (calories, protein, carbs, and fat, with the cals, grams, and % for each; fiber, sugar, omega-3s, omega-6s, omega-3/omega-6 ratio, and 12 other micronutrients). I set a daily goal for each macro- and micronutrient based on daily recommendations. I had a massive list of 270 ingredients in the left column. Then I looked up all the macro- and micronutrients for every ingredient and put them in my spreadsheet. The system was such that I could put in the grams for each ingredient that I ate and the spreadsheet would spit out the totals for each nutrient at the top, so I could see if I had met my goals.

    As can be expected, once I started using the spreadsheet I started going a little bananas. If you thought balancing four dietary goals was hard (calories, protein, fat, carbs), try balancing 26. Potassium was a daily struggle. Getting enough fiber while keeping my carbs down was a tightrope walk. Getting enough omega-3 without blowing through my fat allotment was a near thing. I realized that even though I had 270 ingredients on there, every other day or so, I would encounter a new ingredient not on my spreadsheet and I would have to input all the nutrients for that thing. In order for it to be accurate, I had to weigh each ingredient I cooked with (or convert, for example, cups to grams). I'm seventeen now, so my mother often cooked dinners, and she for sure wasn't going to weigh her ingredients. I estimated by using the recipe and then converting the measurements to grams. I had to dedicate a significant amount of time each day just to tracking my nutrients.

    I lasted about a month, which I'm honestly proud of. I'm sure that during that month my diet was better than it has ever been before or since, but my mind went kapoot. My knuckles honestly got scaly from the stress.
    Oh my word. That was seriously on some Dexter Morgan OCD serial killer sort of level of nutrition.

    Then there's me throwing everything into a pan hoping it would make me a god....I ended up a bit fat haha.

    The world of bodybuilding and nutrition is crazy diverse.
    I have a good joke about water retention. But I'm going to hold onto it for now.

    I'm not an elevator, but I certainly do lift.

    Going to the gym? Ha, it's just a weights of time.

    Steroids and ass. They certainly go well together.

    I'm the BB king..of puns. I train my back using only fish. I love my macker-rows.
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    Registered User broganoff's Avatar
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    Going down the Keto/alt nutrition/ podcast rabbit hole.

    Biggest doozy was buying the book on Carb Backloading, and actually doing 10 days of carb backloading. Or maybe I only lasted only 7 days? Can't recall. Although it was pretty awesome crushing a Digiorno pizza, a dozen buffalo wings, and a tray of cinnamon rolls on the last day, and actually thinking I would get something out of it. I think I realized shortly after that it was absurd, but still stayed on keto for a few months, when I finally came to my senses and started a more well rounded diet.
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    Registered User Orionion's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Paulie1986 View Post
    Oh my word. That was seriously on some Dexter Morgan OCD serial killer sort of level of nutrition.

    Then there's me throwing everything into a pan hoping it would make me a god....I ended up a bit fat haha.

    The world of bodybuilding and nutrition is crazy diverse.
    Yeah, it was pretty intense. The upside is that I learned tons about the nutrition of different foods and I got really, really good at Google Sheets. I think I might do a very, very simplified version of the spreadsheet once I'm in college (since the college I'm going to fortunately has a website with macros for the meals it offers).

    I know that there are apps that kind of do the same thing as this, but for some reason it doesn't work for me unless I build it myself and understand how it works. It doesn't make any sense, but for some reason the apps just end up bugging me.

    Currently I am back to winging it and, as of this morning, literally just throwing stuff in a pan. I hope it works out. There's this psyllium fiber stuff that I've been mixing into water in the morning- it's only 18 calories a serving and tastes like sawdusty jello but feels like a meal. I also ordered a new thing of protein powder, which I like to mix into almond milk. Crossing my fingers that I don't get fatter than I am now!

    I attached what I could of my spreadsheet. I couldn't zoom out any farther, haha.
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    pay the iron price SuffolkPunch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ghawk21 View Post
    A young me was convinced by a GNC employee to purchase CLA as a liquid you consume with a spoon. It was facking nasty and its still my biggest supplement regret. Dumbest thing I've done would be trying to eat 100% clean with stupid amounts of baked chicken, rice and broccoli then eventually binging on anything with flavor.
    Ha, that reminds me I did buy some flax seed oil by the bottle because I thought it would be less nasty than fish oil - BZZT wrong - and then I found out it doesn't even convert well to EPA/DHA either...
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    Registered User broganoff's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SuffolkPunch View Post
    Ha, that reminds me I did buy some flax seed oil by the bottle because I thought it would be less nasty than fish oil - BZZT wrong - and then I found out it doesn't even convert well to EPA/DHA either...
    For several years I blended 1 TB in to my smoothies, and it was basically undetectable. Guess it was for nothing though . . . .
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    HeMB's Avatar
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    Ate mostly chicken breast and low fat cottage cheese for a month

    Ate very low fat

    Eating eggs in the morning was mandatory because eggs > fast absorption protein > catabolic state after the night fast lol

    For the same reason - casein before bed

    6-8 meals a day

    No salt/seasoning
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