Fiancee of 7 years broke up with me month before wedding

[wonderbat00]

Update.

Completly broken and devestated. Its been three months roughly since she ended 7 years and our engagement 1 month before the wedding (end of july). I found out what some of you guys suspected. I go on instagram tonight, and there is a picture of her and some douche from my gym holding eachother under a waterfall in europe....a guy that we were friends with and would talk to frequently in the gym.

To rub salt in the wound, after our breakup this ******* would talk with me and I would let him know im stressed about the breakup and finding it hard (prob laughing in his head at me the whole time).

After the breakup, I spiraled into depression and constant stress(always had anxiety and ocd) and to top it all off, I have a permanent skin condition that is worsened by stress which creates bumps on my face that dont go away (my face looks brutal now with permanent bumps...sebaceous hyperplasia)

I discovered this girls cancer and was the only one there for her night and day during her treatment (her family was absent during this time).
I had to go to the hospital two days before her trip with this guy (she lied and said she was going with a girlfriend)...admitted for suicidal depression and she phoned it in and went on her way with this guy two days later...

7 years and only 3 months after our planned wedding shes going on a 2 week euro trip with some **** (not stupid she coulda been cheating before)...

Gutted... Was good looking before, now cant eat, lost 25 lbs...200lbs to 175..bumpy face caused by stress, look tired and sick, havnt slept in months. And shes getting half my ****.

Seriously suicidal but dont wanna hurt my mom or brother

[backinthegymbro]

First of all, never do something stupid over a woman. We all get those thoughts of wanting to end it all, but it's just the heart break talking.
Once you get over her, you'll realize how stupid those thoughts were and how much you would've regretted it.

Second, There's a reason we say you should never stalk your ex's social media. Exactly for reasons like this.
You don't want to see what guy she will be banging. It's irrelevant. Women move on immediately like nothing ever happened.
So why would you want to hurt yourself by seeing her pictures, and seeing her with other dudes?
Stop stalking her social media and block her on everything.

Third, you should be glad that the wedding got canceled. Imagine if you paid for all of this. Imagine if you were married for x amount of years and then she pulled this stunt. You would've lost half your chit and even more years of your life. Her leaving you was the best gift she could've given you by showing her true nature.
You just don't realize it yet.

Never tell a girl how hurt you are. They won't care. They won't pity you and date you again to make you feel better.
If anything, it makes you more unattractive to them and sometimes even boost their selfish egos because they love hearing how much power they have over you.
Go no contact and act like she doesn't exist. Stop talking to her completely. Act like she doesn't phase you at all and ignore her if she ever tries to reach out.

Oh and this new guy is nobody. Just some guy she'll date for a while until he gets bored and he will leave her or cheat on her himself.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. But a lot of women don't know that those guys who are giving them attention, only to do so to sleep with them and are just using her.
My ex left me cold blooded. I ignored her immediately. Now a year later, she keeps hitting me up in every possible way. Making new accounts, contacting my friends, saying she's sorry and how she misses me etc but i simply keep ignoring her cuz i know better.
Turns out her new boyfriend cheated on her multiple times, physically assaulted her and treated her terribly, broke her heart when he dumped her and now she has nobody left that cares for her.
Just because she's with someone now, doesn't mean the guy gives a damn about her. So never compare yourself to others and don't worry about who she's dating.

Go no contact, don't stalk social media, focus on yourself, give it time.
You need at least 6 months of no contact until you start feeling a bit better. After a year you'll feel a lot more better.
But stop self sabotaging by doing all the things we tell you not to.
Work on yourself, exercise, eat properly, focus on career, do hobbies, socialize with good friends and family and you'll get over this.

[mgftp]

Update.

Completly broken and devestated. Its been three months roughly since she ended 7 years and our engagement 1 month before the wedding (end of july). I found out what some of you guys suspected. I go on instagram tonight, and there is a picture of her and some douche from my gym holding eachother under a waterfall in europe....a guy that we were friends with and would talk to frequently in the gym.

To rub salt in the wound, after our breakup this ******* would talk with me and I would let him know im stressed about the breakup and finding it hard (prob laughing in his head at me the whole time).

After the breakup, I spiraled into depression and constant stress(always had anxiety and ocd) and to top it all off, I have a permanent skin condition that is worsened by stress which creates bumps on my face that dont go away (my face looks brutal now with permanent bumps...sebaceous hyperplasia)

I discovered this girls cancer and was the only one there for her night and day during her treatment (her family was absent during this time).
I had to go to the hospital two days before her trip with this guy (she lied and said she was going with a girlfriend)...admitted for suicidal depression and she phoned it in and went on her way with this guy two days later...

7 years and only 3 months after our planned wedding shes going on a 2 week euro trip with some **** (not stupid she coulda been cheating before)...

Gutted... Was good looking before, now cant eat, lost 25 lbs...200lbs to 175..bumpy face caused by stress, look tired and sick, havnt slept in months. And shes getting half my ****.

Seriously suicidal but dont wanna hurt my mom or brother

It's easier said than done but you need to get over it and move on. The key to start down this road is to not look at the breakup as a a loss, but a win. From your posts you guys were completely incompatible and the marriage would have been a complete nightmare, and if your posts about her are even close to accurate she is one hell of a chitty woman that you shouldn't want in your life. Not having this wedding saves you a ton of money, saves you divorce, saves you possibly with a custody situation and nightmare ex you need to deal with for kids, and a life of misery with a horrible person. Yet you are viewing that as a loss and something to be upset over? That's where the problem lies. This is a big win for your life, tragedy avoided, yet you are acting if tragedy happened.

You need to get into good mental health help, a good clinic with a team of psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists. They will be able to talk you through this much better than someone on the internet can. Good luck.

[TallSaint]

OP,

1) Stay off her social media. Seriously avoid at all costs, it's like voluntary torture that you are exposing yourself too. Download some blocking apps if you have to.

2) Realize the reality of the pictures you saw. Do you really think happy pictures on social media are the reality of the situation? The way you describe this female makes her seem completely devoid of any morals, values or decency. How do you think her monkey branching like this is going to end up with the history she has of crashing and burning? Sure things may seem great in a few pictures on instagram but it's only a matter of time until her tendencies rise again and this time it wont be you dealing with it. It's not your problem.

3) Like many have said in this thread, be thankful you didn't end up marrying and starting a family with her. You're 32, seriously bro in this day and age people are settling down much later in life. 32 is nothing this day and age. But you have to put in some work.

4) The most important thing you can do now is take care of your mental and physical health. Break down any barriers you put up against addressing these two areas. Seek professional or clinical guidance on your depression, talk to any family members or friends. This is what matters most right now.


Goodluck OP.

[skinnyfat88]

Some solid advice in these last 3 posts.

Never tell a girl how hurt you are. They won't care. They won't pity you and date you again to make you feel better.
If anything, it makes you more unattractive to them and sometimes even boost their selfish egos because they love hearing how much power they have over you.
Go no contact and act like she doesn't exist. Stop talking to her completely. Act like she doesn't phase you at all and ignore her if she ever tries to reach out.

Further to this - even if they are still responding to you in hopes it will make you feel better, in the end it only makes it worse for you. You cannot be emotionally dependent on them at all. Besides, they don't deserve any kind of gratification over what they did/might still mean to you anymore. Telling/showing them how much you're hurting in hopes they feel guilt will never ever have even close to the negative affect on them that it will on you (in many cases they won't care or will actually feel empowered by the fact you care so much even though they have moved on).

[FastBack6]

Update.

Completly broken and devestated. Its been three months roughly since she ended 7 years and our engagement 1 month before the wedding (end of july). I found out what some of you guys suspected. I go on instagram tonight, and there is a picture of her and some douche from my gym holding eachother under a waterfall in europe....a guy that we were friends with and would talk to frequently in the gym.

To rub salt in the wound, after our breakup this ******* would talk with me and I would let him know im stressed about the breakup and finding it hard (prob laughing in his head at me the whole time).

After the breakup, I spiraled into depression and constant stress(always had anxiety and ocd) and to top it all off, I have a permanent skin condition that is worsened by stress which creates bumps on my face that dont go away (my face looks brutal now with permanent bumps...sebaceous hyperplasia)

I discovered this girls cancer and was the only one there for her night and day during her treatment (her family was absent during this time).
I had to go to the hospital two days before her trip with this guy (she lied and said she was going with a girlfriend)...admitted for suicidal depression and she phoned it in and went on her way with this guy two days later...

7 years and only 3 months after our planned wedding shes going on a 2 week euro trip with some **** (not stupid she coulda been cheating before)...

Gutted... Was good looking before, now cant eat, lost 25 lbs...200lbs to 175..bumpy face caused by stress, look tired and sick, havnt slept in months. And shes getting half my ****.

Seriously suicidal but dont wanna hurt my mom or brother

You need to get out of this loop. She’s going to do the same thing to that guy, that she did to you when she gets bored of him.

It WILL happen and she’ll be 37 years old, freezing her eggs and complaining about not being able to find someone that keeps her stimulated 24/7.

Go forth and get up under another girls ass.

[billclintonnn]

My ex did a similar thing, moved on with some ******* two days later and then got pregnant three months after that. At first, I was a train wreck. Lost 25 pounds and it was a slow recovery back to normal. Now I don't even think about it and eventually the same will be for you. I agree with everyone else just block her on social media. You're not losing by doing this. The whole point of NC is for YOU not her. It's not to try and make her crawl back it's for you to move on and find someone who will treat you better.

[Cadet4life]

good thing you didn't marry her sloot ass.

take it day by day, embrace the pain. cant do nothin about it. it'll get better, just give it time. itll take a while but its understandable since you've been dating this girl for 7 years.

youll make it brah. just hang in there.

[Luc1fer]

And shes getting half my ****.

How?

[wonderbat00]

****ty ontario common ass law. She put in quite a bit, its not an even split but she gets half.

[savageoldman]

marriage lol

literally rolling the dice that a female doesn't get bored

women don't care about all that **** you do for them they are hard wired to live in the moment

[Luc1fer]

****ty ontario common ass law. She put in quite a bit, its not an even split but she gets half.

brutal

women don't care about all that **** you do for them they are hard wired to live in the moment

brutal

[fishnbrah]

chad from the gym? rugged.

[orderoutofchaos]

Just gonna have to suck it up buttercup....in a breakup, there's 2 perspectives, yours and hers. In your perspective, you're Mr perfect. In her perspective, you were very dumpable. You just have to realize that she doesn't like you anymore and she wants to go like someone fun and new. A fresh start. Maybe it's time for you to begin your fresh new start. And remember, she wasn't yours, it was just your turn...

[psychochillie]

Hang in there man, it will get better. She wasn't worth it. You're still young and will find someone better. Please look after yourself though.

[Nicklol]

women just want to be entertained.
its not about love and support for them.
if they get bored, its over

[Nicklol]

Update.

Completly broken and devestated. Its been three months roughly since she ended 7 years and our engagement 1 month before the wedding (end of july). I found out what some of you guys suspected. I go on instagram tonight, and there is a picture of her and some douche from my gym holding eachother under a waterfall in europe....a guy that we were friends with and would talk to frequently in the gym.

To rub salt in the wound, after our breakup this ******* would talk with me and I would let him know im stressed about the breakup and finding it hard (prob laughing in his head at me the whole time).

After the breakup, I spiraled into depression and constant stress(always had anxiety and ocd) and to top it all off, I have a permanent skin condition that is worsened by stress which creates bumps on my face that dont go away (my face looks brutal now with permanent bumps...sebaceous hyperplasia)

I discovered this girls cancer and was the only one there for her night and day during her treatment (her family was absent during this time).
I had to go to the hospital two days before her trip with this guy (she lied and said she was going with a girlfriend)...admitted for suicidal depression and she phoned it in and went on her way with this guy two days later...

7 years and only 3 months after our planned wedding shes going on a 2 week euro trip with some **** (not stupid she coulda been cheating before)...

Gutted... Was good looking before, now cant eat, lost 25 lbs...200lbs to 175..bumpy face caused by stress, look tired and sick, havnt slept in months. And shes getting half my ****.

Seriously suicidal but dont wanna hurt my mom or brother

the worst part is how its some guy from the gym you know and shes looking happy in a picture with him.

the rest of those thoughts you get like "youre not good enough and you failed" etc are bs
its not that deep and ppl simply get bored

this post reminded me to not take a certain girl in my life seriously though

[ChrissJ]

Don't go that gym anymore
GO NC.. Block EVERYTHING
Start looking yourself on tinder

I know it must be hard OP but you need to learn to move on now.

[backinthegymbro]

the worst part is how its some guy from the gym you know and shes looking happy in a picture with him.

Whatever they have going on now won't last forever either. When she gets dumped or used by this guy who doesn't give a damn bout her, she'll feel like chit.
When she realizes not many men out there will be wiling to legit marry her and care for her that she's actually into, there's a good chance she'll regret her slootiness. But whatever. She chose her path, now you gotta choose yours op. Time to move forward.

[CrimsonSteel]

When she initially dumped you, you should have made the mental note "Ok, I can never catch feelings for this chick again." You should have never "went official" again after that initial breakup. Banging? Sure. But only if you definitively told her "We aren't together, we're just having fun. It didn't work the first time, it won't the second." Then eventually she would have caved and wanted a relationship to which you could say "You already messed that up. I am only interested in friendship and casual sex with you now. You are not relationship material anymore." Complete 100% brute honesty.

But instead you took her back and asked her to marry you. She sounds like a sociopath, which is the way a lot of women act when it comes to dating. This isn't a loss, it's a gain - she showed her true colors.

[wonderbat00]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

[Luc1fer]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

My ex also did something similar at a time when I was mourning and couldn't even think about dating other women. 'Moved on' ridiculously fast. It is a brutal feeling akin to betrayal, but you must just do what you need to do to recover well and move on at a healthy pace.

And remember, time will help. You'll get a place where you aren't even angry/frustrated about this, you'll just look down on her and realize how pathetic she is.

[RubberBandMang]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

Maybe he wasn’t as much of a stranger as you think dude. As crappy as it sounds, bishes are heartless. I used to hook up with a girl who had a bf, and right after smashing me she would text him all this lovey crap, or talk on the phone with him while I was there, and then go home to him as if nothing happened. Went on for nearly a year. Who knows how well she knew this guy when you were together.

Literally no point in dwelling on her, she’s scum. You wouldn’t do that chit to her, bishes are cutthroat and don’t deserve male loyalty, particularly after what’s she did to you. Stop being the victim and realize she’s likely a bad person and u deserve better. Things could’ve been much worse if kids were involved etc.

Her new relationship won’t last, it’s just a rebound to distract her. The dude obviously knows that she’s a scumbag, bros realize that bishes who break off marriage plans and then go on holidays with other ppl right away are not marriage material. They both likely using each other.

Chin up phgt, create a new social atmosphere for yourself and tell yourself that she’s dead to you. Find a new girl.

[skinnyfat88]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

It's easy to get along with someone when all you do is eat, drink, and f*ck on vacation.

[FawkinJuicy]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

There's no point in trying to rationalize it, people do illogical and crazy things. My ex-gf of nearly five years within a MONTH of us breaking up was engaged and now married to some divorced guy in his mid-late 50's who had multiple kids and grand-kids (fkin lol) who worked at the same company as us in her same dept - she was probably even cheating on me at the very end w/ him. Fuk her. A year later and I'm making $150k+, have a great career, lost about 30 lbs and got pretty shredded - and just bought a brand new half million dollar home in a nice area of town. Time to be thankful that you dodged this bullet and start focusing on yourself. Furthermore, do not ever seriously consider hurting yourself over some dumb brood. It will take some time to heal, but time heals all wounds - stay safe OP.

[CrimsonSteel]

I guess it just boggles my mind how she could literally go on a two week vacation half way around the world with almost a relative stranger....

****ing I couldnt spend two straight weeks with someone i just started dating, nevermind in a crazy location.

He probably isn't a stranger, and is likely the replacement she set up while you got too "complacent" to give her constant adrenaline rushes. He probably shows her your depressed texts, since you mentioned you were talking to him about sh!t. Sounds like a Grima Wormtongue little b!tch, sowing dissent in your relationship so he can capitalize. Scummy as hell.

[wonderbat00]

He probably isn't a stranger, and is likely the replacement she set up while you got too "complacent" to give her constant adrenaline rushes. He probably shows her your depressed texts, since you mentioned you were talking to him about sh!t. Sounds like a Grima Wormtongue little b!tch, sowing dissent in your relationship so he can capitalize. Scummy as hell.

Sounds accurate....minus the text, we didnt talk outside the gym. And yeah they had eachothers numbers. I guess i was naive cause the dude other than being in shape is the definition of talking to a ****in doorknob, boring and goofy(not in a fun way) as ****. Near the end she was leaving her phone face down and never left it around the house like she used to...shoulda picked up on it but i guess i was naive.

I once questioned her if she was attracted to the guy and she said no but he had a good body...shoulda listened to my gut..

She also told me that he bragged to her about sleeping with married women....scum finds scum I guess.

I guess you guys are right there is no point in rationalizing, it just helps hearing stories of people who have been there... therapeutic.

[wonderbat00]

Furthermore, do not ever seriously consider hurting yourself over some dumb brood. It will take some time to heal, but time heals all wounds - stay safe OP.

Honestly not to sound vain, its moreover the havoc that the stress from the breakup caused a genetically inherited disease to wreak havoc on my face with no real cure..if you type in sebaceous hyperplasia into google youll see what im talking about.

So already being down, finding out about the trip was a real kick when i was down...

But yeah the skin disease thing you guys cant really help me with....its bad, but my perception of it is still prob amplified cause when you get dumped you start looking more at all your shortcomings...

[backinthegymbro]

But yeah the skin disease thing you guys cant really help me with....its bad, but my perception of it is still prob amplified cause when you get dumped you start looking more at all your shortcomings...

True but it's a mistake a lot of people make. It's not you vs some other guy. A woman could theoratically dump you for a homeless crack addict.
Does that mean that you are less ''good'' than the homeless person? Hell no.
All it means is that your ex left you for someone else for whatever reason that might be.

It's not a competition. Even supermodels get dumped and everyone goes through heart break.
Instead of looking at yourself and your flaws and comparing yourself with other guys, you should instead focus on improving whatever you can improve, for yourself. So you feel better, get a better self esteem etc.
It will make you a happier more confident person which will improve all aspects of your life.

Also looks is just 1 thing. Your ex will get used / dumped herself and she'll realize not everything is as great as she might thought.
You have your own qualities in life. Now you just need to find someone who appreciates them when you're ready.

Also skin wise, look up for a solid foundation. It won't show you're wearing make up, but it will make you look a lot better.

[Luc1fer]

you start looking more at all your shortcomings...

Like the other guy said, this is an incorrect conclusion. You two were incompatible, and there may, or may not, be learnings or things to identify improving upon.