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  1. #31
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    Lol'ed at this.

    OP, one thing you can learn from this is that when someone breaks up a ltr, the issues causing the problem have usually been discussed or at least brought up before. Yu likely didn't pay much attention to it, and by the time the other person makes the decision to pull the trigger, there is usually no convincing them, because you're dealing with emotions.

    That said, as a poster above me stated, the issues you mentioned aren't egregious deal breakers, so if they bothered her that much it's a compatibility issue. You'll find someone you fit better with.
    I might not have paid enough attention to it. But was willing to work on things. But like you said they were fixable but its out of my hands now
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  2. #32
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AlexNYC7 View Post
    If OP was smart and had not taken her back to begin with, none of this would have happened.

    And you think OP won’t take her back again even after all this?
    She aint coming back this time my friend... But no I wont...its just rough right now...spending everday with someone for 7 years and poof they are gone
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  3. #33
    Registered User rdbr's Avatar
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    Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

    It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbours see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

    Sorry OP, relationship died the first time the two of you broke up. Time to swallow the red pill.
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  4. #34
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Stopped reading about half way through, it's extremely clear she had checked out so at the point she decided to talk to you, it was all over. Her 'reasons' are just so much BS because they could have been worked on if she wanted but whatever. It's over because she's not feeling it.
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  5. #35
    Registered User ChrissJ's Avatar
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    I think you should be more happy she didn't do it after you got married or it would of been very difficult. She could of took some of your assets and the whole breakup period would of been really terrible.
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  6. #36
    Registered User PITA21's Avatar
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    Women are cut throat, always remember that their "love" is based off the way they feel at a particular time. She does not value loyalty, often times they don't. An ideal women would of made a concerted effort to work out whatever issues were occurring, and all honesty you were probably phucking up and had no idea getting into the routine. She cannot communicate her needs or didn't bother too. Thank god you didn't marry her and have kids.
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  7. #37
    Registered User RlyRlyBigMan's Avatar
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    you were boring
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  8. #38
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    While it sucks to cancel a wedding a month out and lose money, be happy she did it now, and not after marriage and a kid or two. That is definitely something to be thankful for.
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  9. #39
    STRONG(ER) JUGGERNAUT1333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    While it sucks to cancel a wedding a month out and lose money, be happy she did it now, and not after marriage and a kid or two. That is definitely something to be thankful for.
    This^^ Horrible for sure, but would be worse if you went through with it and all the above happened.


    My instinct tells me there is/has been another man involved to some degree. Maybe not physical cheating, but emotional.
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  10. #40
    Registered User MrQuint's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    Stopped reading about half way through, it's extremely clear she had checked out so at the point she decided to talk to you, it was all over. Her 'reasons' are just so much BS because they could have been worked on if she wanted but whatever. It's over because she's not feeling it.
    Pretty much this, she has been checked out. If you are in love and want to marry someone you don't bail because you tried to talk to them a few times about some things for a couple weeks and they didn't get settled to your satisfaction yet. Certainly you both could have done things differently in hindsight but I'd say she just doesn't see a future with you and you're both better off for it at this point.
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  11. #41
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    Know it sucks dude, but take it for me. Wife of almost 5 years (been together for over 6 years) asked for a divorce out of no where and now I'm in the process of losing my best friend, partner in life, etc yada yada yada and trying to envision this different new life that must continue.

    At least you don't have to deal with this later in life when there's more things to split up (money, property, retirement, or possibly kids).

    Look at it as a fresh new start, to focus on yourself and appreciate the things that make YOU happy. Someone will come along when you least expect it. I'm hoping that's the case for me, however I don't think I'll ever get married again.
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  12. #42
    Registered User HayZues Christi's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by wonderbat00 View Post
    Not about this. I could have friends if I wanted to, I just like spending my time soing other things, sports, guitar, hiking with my dogs etc. She also knew when she started dating me I didnt have one. She also does not have one either. When we do stuff we always do it together. And when we did do stuff we always had fun.

    She might have broken up with me for other things but being boring isnt one of them.

    Either way thanks for the replies guys, puts some perspective on things for me....

    Now its just trying to fend off the OCD that comes along with this stressful period....

    How do you play sports without friends? What sports?

    Sounds like cope.
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  13. #43
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JUGGERNAUT1333 View Post
    This^^ Horrible for sure, but would be worse if you went through with it and all the above happened.


    My instinct tells me there is/has been another man involved to some degree. Maybe not physical cheating, but emotional
    .
    Agree! Most people don't go so far as to cancel a wedding if there's no one waiting in the wings.
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  14. #44
    Registered User hockeyman1's Avatar
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    lol,i feel ya on the just wanting to stay home.
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  15. #45
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HayZues Christi View Post
    How do you play sports without friends? What sports?

    Sounds like cope.
    I have friends I guess so to speak. You ever see I love you Man. Yeah that.
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  16. #46
    Registered User goonsondeck's Avatar
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    holy chit man u just described my break up - only 2 years here though

    chin up bro
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  17. #47
    Registered User EnderG60's Avatar
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    Be happy she did it before the wedding.
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  18. #48
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    Bang as many girls as it takes to fill the void in your life she has left.

    Also hit up all your friends. Live for your hobbies and yourself. You'll get over it with time.
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  19. #49
    Ba_ned dizzin9's Avatar
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    Whatever you do OP, don’t respond to her when she comes crawling back.

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  20. #50
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Those aren't reasons to break up a 7 year relationship. She knew you were like this a long time ago.
    If those were issues that bothered her, she would've left after a year or two max.

    Most likely, she has her eyes on someone new.
    And nothing you can do or say can stop her from leaving you because she doesn't want to be with you anymore.
    Talking to her about change is like talking to a deaf person. Don't waste your time.

    All you can do now is focus on yourself, improve yourself and your life, get this house situation sorted out.
    And under no circumstances beg her to stay with you (she has her mind set on leaving you for a long time by now and made her calculated move) .
    and don't take her back. I guarantee you the only reason she would come back is if her new guy didn't turn out to be prince charming and just ended up using her, so she uses you as a safety net.
    But she would not get back with you because she loves you, and if you allow someone to leave you and then sleep with another guy only to take her back, then she will know she can do it again and again.

    You dodged a bullet. Be glad it was now instead of post marriage. You'll be in for a rough ride but go no contact and focus on healing.
    You'll get over this.
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  21. #51
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dizzin9 View Post
    Whatever you do OP, don’t respond to her when she comes crawling back.

    Must fly and move to North Carolina A$AP Rocky if you haven’t already
    Tough to do when we have to live with each other for 3 more weeks....share a house.
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  22. #52
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jacemano View Post
    Bang as many girls as it takes to fill the void in your life she has left.

    Also hit up all your friends. Live for your hobbies and yourself. You'll get over it with time.
    I installed tinder and bumble. I'm not a bad looking guy 7.5-8/10, but I find this so much work. I get lots of matches and get them laughing right away. But then to keep their interest is like a second job. Must be nice to be a good looking girl and just laugh all day on tinder and bumble at guys throwing jokes and lines. Meanwhile 1000 of guys are competing for their attention (in addition to going against better looking guys). Most girls don't even speak just respond.... Might have to cold approach in public...atleast than I can better control outcome.
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  23. #53
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by backinthegymbro View Post
    Those aren't reasons to break up a 7 year relationship. She knew you were like this a long time ago.
    If those were issues that bothered her, she would've left after a year or two max.

    Most likely, she has her eyes on someone new.
    And nothing you can do or say can stop her from leaving you because she doesn't want to be with you anymore.
    Talking to her about change is like talking to a deaf person. Don't waste your time.

    All you can do now is focus on yourself, improve yourself and your life, get this house situation sorted out.
    And under no circumstances beg her to stay with you (she has her mind set on leaving you for a long time by now and made her calculated move) .
    and don't take her back. I guarantee you the only reason she would come back is if her new guy didn't turn out to be prince charming and just ended up using her, so she uses you as a safety net.
    But she would not get back with you because she loves you, and if you allow someone to leave you and then sleep with another guy only to take her back, then she will know she can do it again and again.

    You dodged a bullet. Be glad it was now instead of post marriage. You'll be in for a rough ride but go no contact and focus on healing.
    You'll get over this.
    Made the initial mistake of begging, but now have gone cold. Not easy to do man with 7 years down the drain and them being in the house for a bit. I aint gonna be no safety net.... a hot 25 year old on tinder messaged me to come over tonight with spoon pics....but I didn't pull the trigger for some reason. You know when they are like an 8 or 9/10 but they are just really trashy. Kinda turns me off, but will prob regret it later.
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  24. #54
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    All of those reasons are absolute horse****. She broke up with you once, that should’ve been it. The reasons don’t even matter, even if miscers try to point out your “flaws” - none of these things sound bad, you just aren’t really compatible.

    Be glad you don’t need to go through the inevitable divorce. Next time don’t go back after an initial breakup.
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  25. #55
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by wonderbat00 View Post
    She aint coming back this time my friend... But no I wont...its just rough right now...spending everday with someone for 7 years and poof they are gone
    Yeah, this part sucks. It's hard to start over, but think about the good things of being able to travel alone where you want, be selfish, meet new chicks.
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  26. #56
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    Originally Posted by wonderbat00 View Post
    Tough to do when we have to live with each other for 3 more weeks....share a house.
    Why does she have to stay there for 3 more weeks? I know y'all are sharing the house, but are there no relatives in town for either of you? I just can't fathom living in the same house after such circumstances. And don't search for sex all day like a crazy person. Be calm about it.
    PS... Some really good advice in here. It's always good to help each other. Chin up, Wonderbat. It will be rough for a while but eventually you'll get through it.
    HTC crew checking in (LTC, skinny bishes, BBW's, thicc chicks all welcome)

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  27. #57
    Registered User wonderbat00's Avatar
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    Update: So feel like **** right now. Just depressed. All this stuff came at a bad time. I have interviews for permanent teaching positions which went to **** with this.

    Went on tinder and bumble dates. Batted .500 in terms of girls wanting to hang out again. But not really interested. Sex drive is low anyways cause of mood. Mostly girls that are not of value.

    Still living with ex...taking her sweet time to move out. Shes lying all over the place. Blocked my family on fbook for no reason, they were all very sweet to her. Initially blocked me but i had to message her on fbook messenger for documents and it said I couldnt. I asked her about it she lied said she didnt block me...5 min later i could magically message her again.

    Moved her car from my driveway yesterday, smelt of coffee....she dosnt drink coffee or have friends in this town.....

    Just ****in done boyos....feel like life spiraled out of control in the last two months...bought a 5 grand ring....prob gonna get half its value back...and to top it off one of my dogs whose 13 is sick...

    Lesson: female always wins in a breakup...especially with how many orbiters are always around
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    Registered User Harry815's Avatar
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    I know it's tough right now bro, especially because it was seven ****** years. But as time goes on, you will get over it. And you'll find someone better. She doesn't seem like a quality person based on the things you're saying. It's hard to see it this way right now because it's too fresh, but you dodged a bullet.
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  29. #59
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by wonderbat00 View Post

    Lesson: female always wins in a breakup...especially with how many orbiters are always around
    That's not true. Yeah women will have infinite orbiters but guess what? Those guys just want to fuk her.
    They don't give a chit about her. They won't be caring for her or trying to build a life with her.
    Those guys will use her, cheat on her and dump her cold blooded.
    Then she'll look back and realize she got nothing going on in her life.

    You have to accept that your ex will be sleeping around with other men, but in the end who gives a damn?
    She'll be out of your life eventually and then you'll never talk to her or see her again. It's no different than some strange woman on the other side of the planet who you'll never talk to, being a sloot right now. You couldn't care less about that either.

    What you need to do is get her out of the house. Whatever situation you got going on, get it sorted out. The longer she's in your life, the longer it's going to fuk you up.
    Don't start doing all that dating crap unless you're mentally ready for it. If you feel better alone by yourself so you can heal, then do just that.
    Rebounds aren't for everyone. Heal on your own time in your own way.

    Other than that, don't let this bish ruin your life. Don't let it affect your career or prevent you from living your life to the fullest.
    You'll get over this. And yeah 7 years is a long time and i'm sure you invested a ton in it. But at least you don't have to pay alimony or anything like that.
    Just stay strong, get this person out of your life/house asap and once you no longer see her, you'll be able to start moving on.

    Good luck.

    Ps: How come she's taking her sweet time moving out? Is her name on the lease? Can't you kick her out?
    Cobra Kai never dies!
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  30. #60
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    I immediately lose a level of respect for anybody who buys a diamond.

    100% srs.


    Has nothing to do with women, just their entirely artificial value.
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