Hated her before the breakup, missing her after...

[BeastmodeLEE]

Call it a commitment issue, but I've tried to stay out of relationships for the past few years and just whore around. Got into a relationship with this girl, stayed because she has her own condo. Dated for about 6mo. It got to the point where I didn't want to go over, I just wanted to stay at home and do school/work/study stuff. When I would spend time with her, all she wanted to do was watch netflix. She would get pissed and throw me out if I was on my phone, reading a book, etc. The sex was too bland, she never wanted to leave the house outside of work, everything about us was opposite. Her interests, life goals, diet, etc. On the plus side, I really liked her family. But, they moved across the country last week and want her to come. I definentally feel that it would be best to let her go to pursue her own goals. Broke up with her, and not a day later I miss the idea of her. Tinder sucks, the activity has changed with the COVID stuff.

Why does my perception flip before/after the breakup? How do I get over the anxiety/longing for the relationship? I'm confident I could call her up, talk it out, and get back together, but I know I'd be back to square one

[Luc1fer]

Because there's a void left behind, even if you didn't really like her. You don't miss her, you miss the company/intimacy.

Give it a couple of weeks to dissipate.

[BeastmodeLEE]

Because there's a void left behind, even if you didn't really like her. You don't miss her, you miss the company/intimacy.

Give it a couple of weeks to dissipate.

Well put, thanks

[sandman2019]

You answered your own question?

- sex with her was ****
- she's boring as ****
- you have nothing in common


Unfortuantely this is where we get trapped brah, you spend time cuddling with a girl, and being affection that **** is highly addictive and makes you get attached There's a reason for this. it's called pair bonding

You could date and sleep with a girl you're not even attracted to, hate her guts, thinks she's smells but gurantee you if you have sex and hang out and cuddle all the time you will get attached it's biological.


Just remind yourself the reasons why you aren't together and for now, just got to ride out the loss of oxytocin / pair bonding feelings.

[NeednOut]

OP you need to hit the gym HARD !!! and start working on yourself for the next 6 months


After that your head will be clear and then go out and get some sloots. Don't go looking for sloots now coz any bit of rejection no matter how little will be amplified because of what you are going through.


Hit the gym
Jump on a bicycle
Eat right
Wait a few months before chasing sloots

[elterrible987]

you knew it was dead end, knew you didnt want to marry her and that it wouldnt really get any better, it basically reached its peak and its all just you and her watching netflix together. Breakign up is the only thing to do but that doesnt mean it isnt going to suck a bit because you will still miss the companionship for a bit until you get over her.

That is how it is when you are with someone that you really arent compatible with but you can still get attached and if she didnt really have glaring or massive flaws then its going to suck a bit until you get over her.

[Thebunz]

Call it an insecurity beta male issue. Seriously you are beta af. Once you admit how much a bich you are, the healing process can begin.

[SikhAndDestroy]

Going through the same **** right now.

Hated her guts because I found out she was a whore prior to being with me, now that I threw her out I miss her lol.

She put on this Saint persona around me and would chastise me for even making the slightest of mistakes but I went through her phone and found out all the **** she used to get up to.

Absolutely haram

[PxV]

You don't miss her , OP. You miss the memories, that's normal, focus on yourself instead.