Matches have pretty much died ²

[Luc1fer]

I just got out of a 2 year relationship that seemed like it was going to be the one. i met her parents, we talked about marriage/kids and moving in together. In the end I guess I was deluding myself, there were a lot of things we weren't compatible on and she definitely didnt show me the same loyalty or affection i showed her, but I ignored all that because i wanted it to work out

It's been two weeks and I think i'm mostly over it. I got back on tinder/bumble/hinge and maybe that was a mistake because when I see nothing but nasty 38 year old sloots I start panicking thinking I screwd up my last chance with a decent girl

I heard from people that now is a golden time for online dating since everyones quarantined but i'm not seeing it. My profile is the same exact one that used to get me a date every day of the week, but im struggling just to get matches now.

it's tough bros. The few dates i've been on have been disappointing and it makes me think back to my last girl and my heart starts racing and i panic again. anyone else know the feel?

There's no way you're over this in 2 weeks. I went into a minor panick mode too because I was the same age as you when we broke up and I had anxiety about never finding another girl. I had set up a vision in my head of living happily ever after with her.

By now my entire mentality has changed and I'm not even as attached to the whole marriage, kids, white picket fence vision. If you asked me 10 years ago I'd have told you I'd be married with kids by now. But I'm totally fine and putting it off for another 5+ years.

If I was a woman I'd be in a very different mode of course. I think women often drive/manipulate men into thinking they should be rushed too.

[brightbrah]

I heard from people that now is a golden time for online dating since everyones quarantined but i'm not seeing it. My profile is the same exact one that used to get me a date every day of the week, but im struggling just to get matches now.

that was the case 2-3 months ago. now that everything is opened back up, it's slowed down online. this is part of the reason i'm taking a breather right now.

[deltakappabrah]

I just got out of a 2 year relationship that seemed like it was going to be the one. i met her parents, we talked about marriage/kids and moving in together. In the end I guess I was deluding myself, there were a lot of things we weren't compatible on and she definitely didnt show me the same loyalty or affection i showed her, but I ignored all that because i wanted it to work out

It's been two weeks and I think i'm mostly over it. I got back on tinder/bumble/hinge and maybe that was a mistake because when I see nothing but nasty 38 year old sloots I start panicking thinking I screwd up my last chance with a decent girl

I heard from people that now is a golden time for online dating since everyones quarantined but i'm not seeing it. My profile is the same exact one that used to get me a date every day of the week, but im struggling just to get matches now.

it's tough bros. The few dates i've been on have been disappointing and it makes me think back to my last girl and my heart starts racing and i panic again. anyone else know the feel?

Same thing with me (4 year relationship). Still not really over it almost a year later, and initially had a lot of panic that that was my chance with a good girl. It'll take time to get over it. I still haven't been on any dates that made me feel the same way either...it sucks

Now is a particularly bad time too for single brahs, it's fuked up right now...but we're all gonna make it brahs

[redliner9]

I hear you. Weird thing that i have experience. ~50+ dates is something i think. And i thought i already can feel girls vibe. I had dates that i knew were last and that few was nothing like that. Girls weren't tense or in a hurry to leave, they were laughing and talking their mouth off. 2 of them i kissed goodby. And then were ghosted. That's what confuses me the most.
Like i can swear everyting were at least alright.
Well just get 2 date agreement form another one on a sunday. If she's gonna ghost too i don't even know what to think. Prolly gonna start to look for my prictures with sign "STAY OUT! SERIAL KILLER!" on the internet

It can be frustrating at times and hard to keep your head up.

Hell, im about to take a break myself since either girls are extremely flaky or my game is way off.

My last 2 dates went really well but they ended up never responding afterwards.

1. Went hiking, had great conversation, joking and laughing the whole time. Ended with her hugging and kissing me. (never responded to next text)

2. Meet up at a bar/grill, she actually looked like her pics! Good convo, joking around and laughing, kissed at the end. (never heard from again)

Im also 44 and dating women in ranges of 35-45. I dont think age matters at all in how these girls act, so dont ever think that older will mean less games and bs.

[redliner9]

that was the case 2-3 months ago. now that everything is opened back up, it's slowed down online. this is part of the reason i'm taking a breather right now.

April and October seem to be the best times for getting on them.

Ya know, the nesting times..

[brightbrah]

[DustinTheHuss]

Think I’m going to do the same my man. The last few weeks I have nearly been obsessing over it. Constantly on it checking for matches, people to swipe on etc. That’s no way to live.

To add to that aswell I’m also in the middle of growing my hair, currently look like Patrick Bateman and all of my pictures are of me with a fade so I don’t want to end up catfishing people because right now I just don’t look good lol. Maybe a few months off at the least.

Everyone has chitty hair now, thanks to the pandemic.

[newbuck]

I’m going to join the cleanse crew for a bit. Tinder has been great for me recently but some broad gave me the clap last week. Started smashing them around the same time so just cut them all off.

Stopped working out so going to focus on that And self improvement until bars open up and then go back to bars/tinder.

[brightbrah]

I’m going to join the cleanse crew for a bit. Tinder has been great for me recently but some broad gave me the clap last week. Started smashing them around the same time so just cut them all off.

Stopped working out so going to focus on that And self improvement until bars open up and then go back to bars/tinder.

Ouch, well, could be worse man. That's a risk we take, I guess.

[randomuser12345]

Aaaaaand another girl ghosted me. "sry, father goes on a business trip tommorow". Guess she didn't know about that 2 days ago. And no alternative date obviously. fml
like 5th girl in a row and 10th+ if not count 1 that i smashed in between.
so freaking done with dating

[spazzin]

I’m going to join the cleanse crew for a bit. Tinder has been great for me recently but some broad gave me the clap last week. Started smashing them around the same time so just cut them all off.

Stopped working out so going to focus on that And self improvement until bars open up and then go back to bars/tinder.

seems everyone’s going on a cleanse but tbf dating takes away from self improvement

[spazzin]

Aaaaaand another girl ghosted me. "sry, father goes on a business trip tommorow". Guess she didn't know about that 2 days ago. And no alternative date obviously. fml
like 5th girl in a row and 10th+ if not count 1 that i smashed between.

that’s flaking, not ghosting. I have been rarely flaked on in nyc but i’m dating down. (i have been ghosted though) One thing that helps prevent flaking is do a video date beforehand, i did early on and one of the sloots who i ended up smashing said it helped her be a lot more comfortable to go out during covid after meeting via video first

[randomuser12345]

that’s flaking, not ghosting. I have been rarely flaked on in nyc but i’m dating down. (i have been ghosted though) One thing that helps prevent flaking is do a video date beforehand, i did early on and one of the sloots who i ended up smashing said it helped her be a lot more comfortable to go out during covid after meeting via video first

yeah mixed up words.
It should have been our 2 date.
I can't get a second date for the life of me lately.

[BlackScorpio91]

I'm not on an app cleanse but haven't been using the apps as much though I'll probably start again soon.

[spazzin]

yeah mixed up words.
It should have been our 2 date.
I can't get a second date for the life of me lately.

what kind of first dates are u going for? drinks? coffee? dinner?

i stick to drinks

[HangingChad]

Spazzzzzzin whuddup? Still killin it with the ladies?

I've been on a dating app cleanse too. Been about six weeks. I was gonna download them this weekend but saw a couple of recent photos of myself and was honestly horrified. Bloatmaxxed to hell haha, just...no. I don't get it, I look at myself in the mirror not bad, but in these photos no thanks jefe. Does that happen to you guys? I know lighting /angles play a role but dayum. Even though I manage to pull pretty well on the apps. Also wondering if maybe I'm picking photos of myself that make me look better than I really am. Of the last five girls I went out with, two of them ghosted me after what I thought were good first dates. Could be because they were disappointed with what I looked like IRL. Wasn't wild about either of them, but no response surprised me b/c I thought the dates went well. The other three I went out with multiple times.

Funny story about an awkward af experience last night:

I play soccer in a group and there's this Brazilian girl who is really good (mentioned her in previous posts). I invited her to practice, just the two of us and she was really into it. I wasn't planning on pursuing her because there's a massive age gap (she's 15+ years younger) and I don't want to fuk up the team dynamic. I'm encouraging her to try to get a soccer scholarship -- IN b4 mentoring comments :-). At the end of practicing, we're saying goodbye and she brings up a restaurant that she wants to try. My buddy had mentioned it to her and said we should all go after one of our games. I say sure, that's sounds like fun. I was thinking it would be a group of us since she often brings friends to the game who watch her play. She says she wants to go Friday (this was on Wed) since she will be going out of town for two weeks. I say uhh not much notice but ok. She gets all excited and gives me a long extended hug. However she is very friendly/touchy with everyone too (typical Brazilian), so who knows where her head's at. I let my buddy know since it was his idea and he says just the two of us should go. I say no, it'll be a group of us, it'll be fun. She texts me Thursday to confirm/check in, I say we're on and she says how much she's looking forward to it. Friday morning she asks me if my buddy is coming too and I say yes. Now, I'm thinking the obvious implication is that she will bring a friend or two, but I don't mention this to her. It's obviously not a date.

So I get there a couple of minutes late and both of them are already there. There's no one else. It's me, my buddy, and this girl. We proceed to eat dinner and it was fine on the surface but internally I'm just going WTF the whole time. Also, I should point out my buddy mogs me in every which way. Generally I have better game but that's about it, he has looks, money, status etc. Races cars, has a couple of Porsches one of which he drove there fml haha. Lexus RC350 crew here. We finish eating, she gets in her car and I talk to my buddy, we're laughing at this point and I apologize for not having clarified she should bring friends. Me and the amigo part ways, and once I get in my car I notice she hasn't left yet. I shoot her a text asking if she wants to come back to mine and she tells me she just made plans to meet up with one of her girlfriends before she heads out of town. I give her thumbs up emoji and head back home. She texted a photo of us later that night and thanked me for coming. I didn't respond to either. Oh, and she's an Au Pair so has/makes no money and she paid for her own meal, which I didn't think about in the moment but my buddy was like that's kinda messed up because the $$ was nothing to us.

So yeah it was just a total cringe/fuk up/beta/cuck night. At this point I don't know if she is interested in him, me, or neither. If I ever had a chance I probably blew it cockblocking myself. I'll take a shot when she gets back into town and if I get rejected (quite likely) then I'll encourage my buddy to take a swing. It's weird, he has hang ups about rejection -- I kind of have to push him on this stuff. Without rejection, you never know how much you can achieve, you know? If you only went out with girls who were automatic yeses, you're selling yourself short. For you younger guys, the more rejection you can experience the better. Eventually it doesn't even faze you. It's 1000x better to be interested in a girl, ask her out and say no VS developing these bizarre oneitis crushes that waste literally months/years of your life. Just get it over with and move on before you establish any emotional attachment. Like anyone will take my advice after the above story haha...

Anyhow yes I'm feeling like chit bout myself, but this is rocket fuel motivation which honestly is awesome. I've been cruising along for too long in easy mode, taking what I could get, etc. Time to self improvemaxx and practice delayed gratification. Not gonna let myself back on the apps until I hit a goal weight. It's worth it, we all gonna make it brahs.

[spazzin]

Spazzzzzzin whuddup? Still killin it?

I've been on a dating app cleanse too. Been about six weeks. I was gonna download them this weekend but saw a couple of recent photos of myself and was honestly horrified. Bloatmaxxed to hell haha, just...no. I don't get it, I look at myself in the mirror not bad, but in these photos no thanks jefe. Does that happen to you guys? I know lighting /angles play a role but dayum. Even though I manage to pull pretty well on the apps. Also wondering if maybe I'm picking photos of myself that make me look better than I really am. Of the last five girls I went out with, two of them ghosted me after what I thought were good first dates. Could be because they were disappointed with what I looked like IRL. Wasn't wild about either of them, but no response surprised me b/c I thought the dates went well. The other three I went out with multiple times.

Funny story about an awkward af experience last night:

I play soccer in a group and there's this Brazilian girl who is really good (mentioned her in previous posts). I invited her to practice, just the two of us and she was really into it. I wasn't planning on pursuing her because there's a massive age gap (she's 15+ years younger) and I don't want to fuk up the team dynamic. I'm encouraging her to try to get a soccer scholarship -- IN b4 mentoring comments :-). At the end of practicing, we're saying goodbye and she brings up a restaurant that she wants to try. My buddy had mentioned it to her and said we should all go after one of our games. I say sure, that's sounds like fun. I was thinking it would be a group of us since she often brings friends to the game who watch her play. She says she wants to go Friday (this was on Wed) since she will be going out of town for two weeks. I say uhh not much notice but ok. She gets all excited and gives me a long extended hug. However she is very friendly/touchy with everyone too (typical Brazilian), so who knows where her head's at. I let my buddy know since it was his idea and he says just the two of us should go. I say no, it'll be a group of us, it'll be fun. She texts me Thursday to confirm/check in, I say we're on and she says how much she's looking forward to it. Friday morning she asks me if my buddy is coming too and I say yes. Now, I'm thinking the obvious implication is that she will bring a friend or two, but I don't mention this to her. It's obviously not a date.

So I get there a couple of minutes late and both of them are already there. There's no one else. It's me, my buddy, and this girl. We proceed to eat dinner and it was fine on the surface but internally I'm just going WTF the whole time. Also, I should point out my buddy mogs me in every which way. Generally I have better game but that's about it, he has looks, money, status etc. Races cars, has a couple of Porsches one of which he drove there fml haha. Lexus RC350 crew here. We finish eating, she gets in her car and I talk to my buddy, we're laughing at this point and I apologize for not having clarified she should bring friends. Me and the amigo part ways, and once I get in my car I notice she hasn't left yet. I shoot her a text asking if she wants to come back to mine and she tells me she just made plans to meet up with one of her girlfriends before she heads out of town. I give her thumbs up emoji and head back home. She texted a photo of us later that night and thanked me for coming. I didn't respond to either. Oh, and she's an Au Pair so has/makes no money and she paid for her own meal, which I didn't think about in the moment but my buddy was like that's kinda messed up because the $$ was nothing to us.

So yeah it was just a total cringe/fuk up/beta/cuck night. At this point I don't know if she is interested in him, me, or neither. If I ever had a chance I probably blew it cockblocking myself. I'll take a shot when she gets back into town and if I get rejected (quite likely) then I'll encourage my buddy to give it a shot. It's weird, he has hang ups about rejection -- I kind of have to push him on this stuff. Without rejection, you never know how much you can achieve, you know? If you only went out with girls who were automatic yeses, you're selling yourself short. For you younger guys, the more rejection you can experience the better. It's 1000x better to be interested in a girl, ask her out and say no VS developing these bizarre oneitis crushes that waste literally months/years of your life. Just get it over with and move on before you establish any emotional attachment. Like anyone will take my advice after the above story haha...

Anyhow yes I'm feeling like chit bout myself, but this is rocket fuel motivation which honestly is awesome. I've been cruising along for too long in easy mode, taking what I could get, etc. Time to self improvemaxx practice delayed gratification. It's worth it, we all gonna make it brahs.

damn long story but worth the read. My pics are mediocre and blurry so i feel that i rarely get ghosted since i look better irl although still happens and as u know it did a couple weeks ago haha. I’ve had one date tell me i look nothing like my pics and that most dudes have chitty blurry pics so i guess it’s not just me. Having said that, i think if you look bloated in the mirror and that you look better in your pics it’s either in your head or you put on 20 pounds since you took your pics.
So it’s just in your head pal


Personally i’ve gone on dates where i try to look my best (clean shaven, ate only salads that day, worked out an hour before for pump) and some where i go in feeling like chit (feel like i’m bloated, didn’t shave, etc) and i don’t think i changed much in terms of her perception of how i look based on the results. Like i’m a 5/10 so i’m not gonna drop to a 4 or 3/10 on my worst day or go up to a 6 or 7 on my best day.

Regarding the soccer chick, personally i think it was a bad move to take buddy who is a good looking friend on a group dinner that could end up as a potential chick u like esp since she ended up going alone since she was confused/didn’t think it through. Either way, not paying for her and that she’s broke/low money may affect your chances if she liked you but i personally wouldn’t have paid for her if it was more than 25 bucks to cover her lol

Regarding me, i’m doing ok/not bad. Currently have 3 in my lineup, finally got flaked on when trying to re-add a fourth last week but at least she flaked in the morning so not bad

[spazzin]

apologize for the chittagong grammar i’m typing from my phone and my thumbs are fukkin huge lol

also i think u should try hinge and see where it goes, i know u took a break for a while but personally i think y’all should cleanse once winter starts not when everything is still open and hopefully lock down a fwb to hold u down until next spring lol

edit: chitty not chittagong but kept it since it sounds awesome ayyy lmao

[HangingChad]

damn long story but worth the read. My pics are mediocre and blurry so i feel that i rarely get ghosted since i look better irl although still happens and as u know it did a couple weeks ago haha. I’ve had one date tell me i look nothing like my pics and that most dudes have chitty blurry pics so i guess it’s not just me. Having said that, i think if you look bloated in the mirror and that you look better in your pics it’s either in your head or you put on 20 pounds since you took your pics.
So it’s just in your head pal

Haha, yeah that story was long as hell so I appreciate you reading it. +1 for the positive vibes.

Ever think about upgrading your photos to pull better chicks? Or do you prefer the stealth surprise-them-by-being-better-than-they-expect? I'm in photomaxx crew myself. I'm more fit now than I am in my profile photos (which are all from the last year) but I took the best ones I had (angles, lighting, etc.) Not trying to fraud but it's a balance.

Personally i’ve gone on dates where i try to look my best (clean shaven, ate only salads that day, worked out an hour before for pump) and some where i go in feeling like chit (feel like i’m bloated, didn’t shave, etc) and i don’t think i changed much in terms of her perception of how i look based on the results. Like i’m a 5/10 so i’m not gonna drop to a 4 or 3/10 on my worst day or go up to a 6 or 7 on my best day.

Regarding the soccer chick, personally i think it was a bad move to take buddy who is a good looking friend on a group dinner that could end up as a potential chick u like esp since she ended up going alone since she was confused/didn’t think it through. Either way, not paying for her and that she’s broke/low money may affect your chances if she liked you but i personally wouldn’t have paid for her if it was more than 25 bucks to cover her lol

Regarding me, i’m doing ok/not bad. Currently have 3 in my lineup, finally got flaked on when trying to re-add a fourth last week but at least she flaked in the morning so not bad

Yep, it was a bad move, no way to sugarcoat it. I've done this before, I take "bros before hos" too far. Glad you've got a steady rotation going! You never heard back from that girl you went out with like five times or so? That's so chitty of her. Fuk her. Me and the Russian had an amicable parting of the ways, no bad blood there, just not a good match. She has a pair of my dumbbells, when gyms reopen she better give them back!

edit: lmao at chittagong, you make good points about the apps too. window is closing, fall everything is going to shut down with flu + covid and it's nesting season anyway. Going on mad lifting + starvation diet plan ASAP haha...

[spazzin]

Haha, yeah that story was long as hell so I appreciate you reading it. +1 for the positive vibes.

Ever think about upgrading your photos to pull better chicks? Or do you prefer the stealth surprise-them-by-being-better-than-they-expect? I'm in photomaxx crew myself. I'm more fit now than I am in my profile photos (which are all from the last year) but I took the best ones I had (angles, lighting, etc.) Not trying to fraud but it's a balance.



Yep, it was a bad move, no way to sugarcoat it. I've done this before, I take "bros before hos" too far. Glad you've got a steady rotation going! You never heard back from that girl you went out with like five times or so? That's so chitty of her. Fuk her. Me and the Russian had an amicable parting of the ways, no bad blood there, just not a good match. She has a pair of my dumbbells, when gyms reopen she better give them back!

edit: lmao at chittagong, you make good points about the apps too. window is closing, fall everything is going to shut down with flu + covid and it's nesting season anyway. Going on mad lifting + starvation diet plan ASAP haha...

nope never heard back but it’s all good i’m over the fact i was ghosted now. I definitely want to get better pics since that will up my match pool and that’s a better advantage than the stealth look better irl thing. Glad to hear ur in good shape bro! And yeah there’s like 3 months left before chit closes unless they open indoor dining but even then u don’t know if a second wave will start so better to push your chips in now

[Austin317]

So I’m on a dry spell and I was out last night with friends having a few drinks in a couple bars before going back to my friends to watch the ufc. A chick I banged about 4 years ago completely randomly messages me on snapchat after like 3 years of not speaking and says “are you around/horny”. Of course I respond saying yeah. I meet her at mine at 1. By 2am I told her I had to go and she says that’s fine so a taxi drops her off home and I go to my friends house to watch the fights. A great night was had. This was the easiest lay I’ve ever had. I’m usually the guy that deletes girls from snapchat/insta etc but this is a lesson to be learned. NEVER Delete girls from apps/make sure you always give them a way to contact you as it can result in an easy win.

[BlackScorpio91]

So I’m on a dry spell and I was out last night with friends having a few drinks in a couple bars before going back to my friends to watch the ufc. A chick I banged about 4 years ago completely randomly messages me on snapchat after like 3 years of not speaking and says “are you around/horny”. Of course I respond saying yeah. I meet her at mine at 1. By 2am I told her I had to go and she says that’s fine so a taxi drops her off home and I go to my friends house to watch the fights. A great night was had. This was the easiest lay I’ve ever had. I’m usually the guy that deletes girls from snapchat/insta etc but this is a lesson to be learned. NEVER Delete girls from apps/make sure you always give them a way to contact you as it can result in an easy win.

Yeah I used to be like that, I would delete women off dating apps that stop responding to me after we agreed to hook up but a couple of dudes told me to stop doing that and to wait and see if they'll respond back and sure enough, sometimes those same women would. Also sometimes women I didn't message first would eventually message me and not all of these women were unattractive imo.

It's really all just a numbers game though.

[randomuser12345]

Just recently came across average 23 y.o. female tinder data. ho lee chit, and then i'm wondering what went wrong

[Luc1fer]

Just recently came across average 23 y.o. female tinder data. ho lee chit, and then i'm wondering what went wrong
[img]https://i.redd.it/1n4rnqgivha31.png[/img

Best to just accept the stark difference between men and women in dating. Women are the selectors in our species.

And again, this is why it's comical when a woman wants to be referred to as a 'player' instead of a 'slut'. No, you're a slut.

Men =/= women. Completely different games.

[randomuser12345]

the most brutal is longer convos to date ratio. 448 clowns she knew from the second 1 she ain't gonna meet with.

I want to know what exactly happend to that 1 of 30k guy she dated long term? What is long term? A month? half a year? How long does it take to jump on endless validation carousell again?

[Luc1fer]

the most brutal is longer convos to date ratio. 448 clowns she knew from the second 1 she ain't gonna meet with.

That's why I learned to invest minimally and reciprocally.

[trickfinger]

It will just go away in time. Right now your ex is your only point of reference (or most recent). Its why you need to casually date around for awhile.

You aren't over your ex yet, just needs more time. It's normal.

Like others have said, this is normal and it will pass. Try your best to give other girls a chance, even though it might feel impossible for a while. There is no certain timeline that you'll know it will get better, but it definitely will if you work on it.

Appreciate the replies, helps knowing that this is normal and just part of the process.

Gotta be honest, my ex isn't making life easy for me. We still go to college together so I can't really go full NC, but damn sometimes I feel like she goes out of her way just to make me feel like chit, and I don't get it.
Got a text from her today that took me 2 steps backwards, I'm the one who got his heart broken, just leave me the fuk alone.


I'm going to try and set up another date with the girl from my previous post, have to keep moving forward.

[Luc1fer]

Appreciate the replies, helps knowing that this is normal and just part of the process.

Gotta be honest, my ex isn't making life easy for me. We still go to college together so I can't really go full NC, but damn sometimes I feel like she goes out of her way just to make me feel like chit, and I don't get it.
Got a text from her today that took me 2 steps backwards, I'm the one who got his heart broken, just leave me the fuk alone.

I'm going to try and set up another date with the girl from my previous post, have to keep moving forward.

Why is she not blocked? Come on man, this is what women do - they do not want you moving on easily. Block her on everything or it will get even more painful when you see her with another guy, and yes she will make sure you know about it to invoke jealousy. Women are ruthless if they aren't in your corner.

[Rebel012]

Just recently came across average 23 y.o. female tinder data. ho lee chit, and then i'm wondering what went wrong

Do you have a source for this?

[randomuser12345]

yes, https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeaut...der_usage_23f/