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  1. #8011
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's over 2 years since I went NC with my ex. I think I've actually reached the point where I could talk about her or look at a picture without a strong gut wrenching emotional reaction.

    The first 6 months were brutal. I couldn't stop thinking about her, waking up with sweats, crying randomly, forcibly distracting my thoughts, being constantly reminded of her. I couldn't really date properly without this heavy comparison. I think what made that even worse is knowing that she 'moved on' super quick to new guys (I slipped once and checked her IG, BIG MISTAKE).

    A year in, and I had to ask my Mom not to bring her up since it brought back bad emotions.

    Now, 2 years in, I might go a day or two without thinking about her. And feel okay thinking about history.

    Honestly, the entire ordeal is kinda brutal but I knew that when I ended it; decided that accepting a heavy short term pain was better than a (probable) long term one if I stayed.
    Can relate and you’re doing better than me. I’m 8 years from my breakup and 6+ years from seeing my ex in person and 3+ years complete NC and STILL not over him. Don’t think I’ve gone even an hour without thinking about him in the entire 8 years.
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  2. #8012
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    At 40 he already might be divorced with kids. I think a lot of divorced guys do not want a second family and another round of kids. They just want to enjoy their free time and enjoy dating. So then it could work.
    He doesn't have kids and I can't remember but I don't think he's divorced either. Didn't really get into if he's dated anyone long term. If not, thats definitely a red flag for a 40 year old.

    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's over 2 years since I went NC with my ex. I think I've actually reached the point where I could talk about her or look at a picture without a strong gut wrenching emotional reaction.

    The first 6 months were brutal. I couldn't stop thinking about her, waking up with sweats, crying randomly, forcibly distracting my thoughts, being constantly reminded of her. I couldn't really date properly without this heavy comparison. I think what made that even worse is knowing that she 'moved on' super quick to new guys (I slipped once and checked her IG, BIG MISTAKE).

    A year in, and I had to ask my Mom not to bring her up since it brought back bad emotions.

    Now, 2 years in, I might go a day or two without thinking about her. And feel okay thinking about history.

    Honestly, the entire ordeal is kinda brutal but I knew that when I ended it; decided that accepting a heavy short term pain was better than a (probable) long term one if I stayed.
    That sounds brutal but I'm glad you seem to be over the hump. I have a feeling if I ever end it with my FWB that's how I'm going to be. One time I tried and went 4 months with no contact and was soooo sad the entire time.
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  3. #8013
    Registered User newbuck's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brightbrah View Post
    I believe you mentioned earlier that you are a black brah? I remember someone mentioning in the OG thread that he had no problem finding sloots to hookup with (I guess mostly white girls), but struggled greatly to find a girl that wanted a relationship. Double-edged sword I guess.
    Yeah I am and honestly BLM has tinder on easy mode right now for black brahs. Loads of college sloots with BLM in their bios, I've been doing better and my 8/10+ boys are just killing it but also summer time+quarantine.
    Personally haven't struggled with finding relationships but I mostly match with and talk to sloots or women that I wouldn't want a LTR with.(On tinder)

    I'm considering expanding my range to around 35 mi but honestly wouldn't want to drive 30-45 mins for a date.
    After I move back out in sept. life should be even easier as I can just brings girls straight over for dates.
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  4. #8014
    Registered User spadelexus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    No I don’t think she looks like me


    This is the only part of your post that counts, since, if you said she did look like you, then I wouldnt carry on out of respect for your wish to not post a look a like.

    But since you said she doesn't look like you, 80 page thread on main misc incoming....

    And btw you are right. She's probably a 7-7.5/10. You are probably a 5.5-6/10 so I'll make sure to let the misc know you aren't as pretty. I won't go into details about the bags under your eyes, damaged hair, etc...But same type of 47yo Karen +/-.
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  5. #8015
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spadelexus View Post


    This is the only part of your post that counts, since, if you said she did look like you, then I wouldnt carry on out of respect for your wish to not post a look a like.

    But since you said she doesn't look like you, 80 page thread on main misc incoming....

    And btw you are right. She's probably a 7-7.5/10. You are probably a 5.5-6/10 so I'll make sure to let the misc know you aren't as pretty. I won't go into details about the bags under your eyes, damaged hair, etc...But same type of 47yo Karen +/-.
    Srsly, why are you being such a dik to SS? There's really no need for all the insults.
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  6. #8016
    Registered User spadelexus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Srsly, why are you being such a dik to SS? There's really no need for all the insults.
    Huh? I called her a 5.5-6/10. That means I'd probably smash. Which is a compliment to 99% of women her age. I talk about my thin hair, wrinkles, etc..too.. Stop being so easily rustled.
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  7. #8017
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Can relate and you’re doing better than me. I’m 8 years from my breakup and 6+ years from seeing my ex in person and 3+ years complete NC and STILL not over him. Don’t think I’ve gone even an hour without thinking about him in the entire 8 years.
    You were in it much, much deeper than me. I had my guard up the entire time and still ended up with that result.

    How many years were you together?
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  8. #8018
    Misc's Supreme BMW Driver brightbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    3+ intense years.
    Thank you for sharing. I think we can all take a page out of that experience. While it was tough for you after ending it, it was better in the long run. I know you mentioned that most of us miscers are less in age than you, so I can assume that you were at the point in your life where you were thinking of starting a family, etc...probably made it even tougher to break the ties.

    I am mid 20s and I grew up out in the sticks where it is not uncommon for people to be married not long after graduating (high school- most people who choose college have left town), and I am now seeing where the relationships have become breakups/divorces. I don't have fb but I hear about it from people I've kept in touch with. I feel like there has to be a balance of starting your family at an appropriate point in life, but at the same time, you have to enter that venture with the right person. Hence, it is easy to choose the wrong person at the right time.

    Originally Posted by newbuck View Post
    Yeah I am and honestly BLM has tinder on easy mode right now for black brahs. Loads of college sloots with BLM in their bios, I've been doing better and my 8/10+ boys are just killing it but also summer time+quarantine.
    Personally haven't struggled with finding relationships but I mostly match with and talk to sloots or women that I wouldn't want a LTR with.(On tinder)

    I'm considering expanding my range to around 35 mi but honestly wouldn't want to drive 30-45 mins for a date.
    After I move back out in sept. life should be even easier as I can just brings girls straight over for dates.
    Hahah well I'm glad you're able to capitalize from these recent trends, srs
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  9. #8019
    Registered User Austin317's Avatar
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    Was speaking to some girl for a few days, seemed pretty cool then she ghosted me for about 3-4 days and has just popped up saying “ummm..... hi” then sent a separate text with smiley and waving emojis. I get that sometimes people are busy but the way she has sent the message is making it seem as if she wasn’t busy and more so just didn’t bother replying to my last message. Do I respond to this or no?

    Brain says to leave it until tonight then respond saying “sup” and just play the game with her however I’m bad at playing games.
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  10. #8020
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    You were in it much, much deeper than me. I had my guard up the entire time and still ended up with that result.

    How many years were you together?
    13+ years together. Or counting from when we met until everything in the divorce was finalized it was 17+ years.
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  11. #8021
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spadelexus View Post


    This is the only part of your post that counts, since, if you said she did look like you, then I wouldnt carry on out of respect for your wish to not post a look a like.

    But since you said she doesn't look like you, 80 page thread on main misc incoming....

    And btw you are right. She's probably a 7-7.5/10. You are probably a 5.5-6/10 so I'll make sure to let the misc know you aren't as pretty. I won't go into details about the bags under your eyes, damaged hair, etc...But same type of 47yo Karen +/-.
    Wow
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  12. #8022
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spadelexus View Post
    Huh? I called her a 5.5-6/10. That means I'd probably smash. Which is a compliment to 99% of women her age. I talk about my thin hair, wrinkles, etc..too.. Stop being so easily rustled.
    Oh bullchit. You are constantly insulting her. I'm pretty sure I've never seen her say one mean thing to you so I'm curious why you're so pissed at her that you insult her every chance you get.
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  13. #8023
    Registered User spadelexus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Wow
    Created 5 minutes ago, already on page 3

    https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...7145981&page=3

    Enjoy

    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Oh bullchit. You are constantly insulting her. I'm pretty sure I've never seen her say one mean thing to you so I'm curious why you're so pissed at her that you insult her every chance you get.
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  14. #8024
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spadelexus View Post
    Created 5 minutes ago, already on page 3

    https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...7145981&page=3

    Enjoy



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  15. #8025
    Banned 3basic5me's Avatar
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    has anything changed since page 1 of thread 1?
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  16. #8026
    Registered User mcboo2's Avatar
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    I think women are finally more open to go out. Talking to 5 girls right now after basically nothing for months. Feels good man. I did change my profile pic too though maybe that had something to do with it.
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  17. #8027
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 3basic5me View Post
    has anything changed since page 1 of thread 1?
    No it is still the lonely hearts club.
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  18. #8028
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    (dear diary) Focused mainly on Tinder this week. Had a lot of matches, some with some hotties. Engaging a few but striking out hard. I think I'm being too nice and self sabatoging when some of them just want more aggression and to hook up. But honestly I'm not really sure what I'm doing wrong. Getting back on Bumble now, taking a break from hinge starting about a week ago since I went through all the profiles and nothing was too great (will go back though since I think that's my best bet at a quality gf).

    I'm also not very patient when people don't respond after a couple messages. I usually give it a couple days before I delete them, sometimes sooner. Just feel like if they wanted to keep talking they would keep the messages going. I'm busy and I know some of them are too, and I know they are getting swamped with messages, but..yea. Fuk I need more practice at this sh!t, this sucks.

    You gotta strike when the iron is hot, if you don't, they're gonna feel rejected and ghost your ass. I had to learn that the hard way. Now when a woman is being sexually aggressive/flirtatious online, I take advantage of it.

    I also noticed when my place is clean that I tend to be more confident not only online but irl too cause you never know if a woman wants to hook up on the same day.

    Plus I've had women reply back to me after several days to weeks after I sent them a message, just be patient and focus on other women. But alot of times a woman will reply back asap but sometimes **** does happen and if it's another man in her life, so be it. That guy could turn out to be lame and she can get back to you.
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  19. #8029
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 3basic5me View Post
    has anything changed since page 1 of thread 1?
    I've been in relationships for the majority of the time, so only dipping in and out of dating apps over the years.

    I find a girlfriend within meeting 1-3 new women. Apparently I'm too picky though
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I've been in relationships for the majority of the time, so only dipping in and out of dating apps over the years.

    I find a girlfriend within meeting 1-3 new women.
    all i remember is an asian girl rode you one morning and then ghosted you afterwards.
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    Originally Posted by 3basic5me View Post
    all i remember is an asian girl rode you one morning and then ghosted you afterwards.
    I'm sensing negatively from you.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I'm sensing negatively from you.
    lol was just a post that stuck in my mind. depicted the frustration of post-modern dating well.
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    Originally Posted by 3basic5me View Post
    lol was just a post that stuck in my mind. depicted the frustration of post-modern dating well.
    I don't think it was me though, that's never happened. Might have been someone else ITT.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's over 2 years since I went NC with my ex. I think I've actually reached the point where I could talk about her or look at a picture without a strong gut wrenching emotional reaction.

    The first 6 months were brutal. I couldn't stop thinking about her, waking up with sweats, crying randomly, forcibly distracting my thoughts, being constantly reminded of her. I couldn't really date properly without this heavy comparison. I think what made that even worse is knowing that she 'moved on' super quick to new guys (I slipped once and checked her IG, BIG MISTAKE).

    A year in, and I had to ask my Mom not to bring her up since it brought back bad emotions.

    Now, 2 years in, I might go a day or two without thinking about her. And feel okay thinking about history.

    Honestly, the entire ordeal is kinda brutal but I knew that when I ended it; decided that accepting a heavy short term pain was better than a (probable) long term one if I stayed.
    Hugs. Emotional drama is a NO NO for anyone. Stay strong
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    Originally Posted by mcboo2 View Post
    I think women are finally more open to go out. Talking to 5 girls right now after basically nothing for months. Feels good man. I did change my profile pic too though maybe that had something to do with it.
    Ironically, I got more dates during the "quarantine", so maybe your pictures had more of an effect than you realized.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's over 2 years since I went NC with my ex. I think I've actually reached the point where I could talk about her or look at a picture without a strong gut wrenching emotional reaction.

    The first 6 months were brutal. I couldn't stop thinking about her, waking up with sweats, crying randomly, forcibly distracting my thoughts, being constantly reminded of her. I couldn't really date properly without this heavy comparison. I think what made that even worse is knowing that she 'moved on' super quick to new guys (I slipped once and checked her IG, BIG MISTAKE).

    A year in, and I had to ask my Mom not to bring her up since it brought back bad emotions.

    Now, 2 years in, I might go a day or two without thinking about her. And feel okay thinking about history.

    Honestly, the entire ordeal is kinda brutal but I knew that when I ended it; decided that accepting a heavy short term pain was better than a (probable) long term one if I stayed.

    Lol know some of these feels. 12 yr relationship. Slipped and checked the gram got to see the new dude on the family yearly rafting trip the other day. That was, to put it mildly, extremely annoying lol.
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    Originally Posted by mcboo2 View Post
    Lol know some of these feels. 12 yr relationship. Slipped and checked the gram got to see the new dude on the family yearly rafting trip the other day. That was, to put it mildly, extremely annoying lol.
    Yeah I learned the hard way that a picture burns into your mind and you can’t unsee it and it stays with you many years longer than any verbal info would have.

    Haven’t checked on my ex at all in 7 years but the first year after/during our breakup I did check on him. Saw horrible pics of this double life he was living with shady people in shady motels etc. Was horrific and wish I could unsee that stuff but once you’ve seen it it’s just burned in your mind.

    So I learned the hard way and after that first year never checked on him ever again.
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    Originally Posted by mcboo2 View Post
    Lol know some of these feels. 12 yr relationship. Slipped and checked the gram got to see the new dude on the family yearly rafting trip the other day. That was, to put it mildly, extremely annoying lol.
    Brutal
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    I still think of my first love from 15 years ago. I hooked up with her like 4 years ago. She ended up having a baby 9 months later but she said it’s her mans baby
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    Originally Posted by fishnbrah View Post
    I still think of my first love from 15 years ago. I hooked up with her like 4 years ago. She ended up having a baby 9 months later but she said it’s her mans baby
    Ummmmm......... how does she know for sure?
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