New girl I've been seeing is saying some pretty serious things, how to respond?

[BulkingAkaFAT]

So, started seeing a girl 3 weeks ago. been out about 7 times. chatted for about a week before we meet up.

we went into saying we did not want to jump into anything super serious right away, and agreed.

I noticed things were maybe headed towards a little more serious (As in not just casually seeing each other) when she came over and made dinner for me, planned the whole thing (and she put alot of effort into it). she was very affectionate at night/in the morning.

Yesterday we hung out the entire day, had an awesome day. we are drinking on a patio and she tells me she hasn't felt a connection similar to this since college (And she is 27), and then is holding my hand/cuddling me everything, and then told me she told her best friend this as well and her parents. obviously i feel a big connection with her as well, and told her that, but I know logically that its only been three weeks and these things take time (didnt tell her that part though). we go back to my place, end up taking a nap, she is very cuddly/etc the whole time,like keeps cuddling up next to me like a barnacle. she mentioned that if we keep doing intimate things, that she only wants to do them with me and doesnt want me to see other girls.

obviously this is progressing very fast, which makes me apprehensive because 3 weeks is barely any time (Although I do feel a connection with her).ive heard that people that come on strong are prone to just leaving as well.

I havn't had an experience like this with a girl before, what is going on? should I be concerned?

Sounds like it's legit. Unless she's seriously Fuk'd up!

Roll with it OP, Don't put a barrier up. But also don't over expose yourself.
She sounds like a nice girl that's aiming to please you. Telling her friends & fam?.. She's def not going to hit&quit.

[DanielleGreen]

Exactly. Seems that a lot of them just want drama and turmoil. And the have no problem inventing it of need be.

Even positives become negatives.

She didn’t even ask him to be exclusive yet. She likes him and wants him to sleep with only her for now. Plus she cooks for him, is affectionate, and seems like a decent girl.

Chit, where do I find a girl like that? 27 and cooks. Haha

Oh it wouldn't surprise me that some of these dudes has had "traditional" girls come into their life yet they push them away with petty BS and over thinking. "Hurrr durrr she was looking at Chad while we were waiting in line..."

[pondus_levo]

That’s why girls like the one you are describing aren’t a dime a dozen. They come into your life rarely, if ever.

And you are thinking of it all wrong. You are implying that you don’t deserve her or she is too good for you. Bad mentality to go in with.

Your mentality should be that these are the girls you deserve.

This is what happened to James. Never forget you are the prize.

Also, still baffles me that you have a hard time attracting chicks with a body like that. It's 100% a self esteem issue with you, so don't let it get the best of you and **** it up.

People don't realize how powerful suggestion is to the human psyche, If you believe it strongly enough, other people will to. It's the legit reason why Trump gets away with so many lies. Because he and his administration lie with such conviction. Also shows how absent minded most of America is. It takes 10X as much effort to disprove the lie.

Fake it till you make it.

[Nedo]

You are too jaded by your past to be able to enjoy a good thing and not be paranoid. Allow yourself to be more vulnerable when her actions speak as loud as her words.

[BlackScorpio91]

Exactly. Seems that a lot of them just want drama and turmoil. And the have no problem inventing it of need be.

Even positives become negatives.

She didn’t even ask him to be exclusive yet. She likes him and wants him to sleep with only her for now. Plus she cooks for him, is affectionate, and seems like a decent girl.

Chit, where do I find a girl like that? 27 and cooks. Haha

That's a rarity nowadays.

This dude has been complaining since 2007 and he has a good thing going but is still overthinking. Kinda sad.

[HotlineBling]

7 dates in 3 weeks? I see why you’re scared that’s a lot. I get this feeling everybody in the misc are doing this “get what you can get”. B/c you’ve been complaining. I would say just be on the look out. Going that fast a lil too much for my taste. But wouldn’t leave just yet. See where it goes but just be aware

[Luc1fer]

7 dates in 3 weeks? I see why you’re scared that’s a lot. I get this feeling everybody in the misc are doing this “get what you can get”. B/c you’ve been complaining. I would say just be on the look out. Going that fast a lil too much for my taste. But wouldn’t leave just yet. See where it goes but just be aware

Twice a week isn't crazy. I know lots of couples that would meet multiple times per week initially.

[Legz422]

You are too jaded by your past to be able to enjoy a good thing and not be paranoid. Allow yourself to be more vulnerable when her actions speak as loud as her words.

This.

Twice a week isn't crazy. I know lots of couples that would meet multiple times per week initially.

And this. Lol at thinking twice a week is too much and crazy. If you don't want to spend some time with the person you're attracted to in the beginning stages then it's not going to be much good in the post honeymoon stage.

[DolphinPilot]

Oh it wouldn't surprise me that some of these dudes has had "traditional" girls come into their life yet they push them away with petty BS and over thinking. "Hurrr durrr she was looking at Chad while we were waiting in line..."

something about casting the first stone, etc...

[memcop]

You have a girlfriend. Congratulations.

I got married after 3 weeks and have no regrets. I'm 19 years in. You and her are the only metric that matters. Judge your relationship based on its own merit, not past or other's experiences. Go for it. Why not?

[DanielleGreen]

something about casting the first stone, etc...

Who hurt you?

[MuzzieChik786]

You have a girlfriend. Congratulations.

I got married after 3 weeks and have no regrets. I'm 19 years in. You and her are the only metric that matters. Judge your relationship based on its own merit, not past or other's experiences. Go for it. Why not?

3 weeks?! Nice. Most people told me 6 months was too short and that we were being stupid. We love each other just as much as the day we got married. Just celebrated two years.

[DanielleGreen]

3 weeks?! Nice. Most people told me 6 months was too short and that we were being stupid. We love each other just as much as the day we got married. Just celebrated two years.

Wow! Has it really been 2 years??? Time is flying by!

[memcop]

3 weeks?! Nice. Most people told me 6 months was too short and that we were being stupid. We love each other just as much as the day we got married. Just celebrated two years.

Let's stop fighting it. You and I should run away together. Let's throw it all away

[MuzzieChik786]

Wow! Has it really been 2 years??? Time is flying by!

IKR. Time moves so fast, I myself can't believe I landed such a cool dude.

Let's stop fighting it. You and I should run away together. Let's throw it all away

Can I bring my husband? Fair warning, he eats a lot so bring all your credit cards.

........

Psychoblob, so when are you guys getting married and can I come for free cake? O_o

[DolphinPilot]

Who hurt you?

Nobody, but I know who hurt you

[DanielleGreen]

Nobody, but I know who hurt you

I'm over it and moved on...

[Luc1fer]

I got married after 3 weeks and have no regrets. I'm 19 years in. You and her are the only metric that matters. Judge your relationship based on its own merit, not past or other's experiences. Go for it. Why not?

Because getting married after 3 weeks is a bad idea for 99% of people. It happened to work out for you, but you didn't really know her after 3 weeks. You got lucky.

[skinnybig2]

So, started seeing a girl 3 weeks ago. been out about 7 times. chatted for about a week before we meet up.

we went into saying we did not want to jump into anything super serious right away, and agreed.

I noticed things were maybe headed towards a little more serious (As in not just casually seeing each other) when she came over and made dinner for me, planned the whole thing (and she put alot of effort into it). she was very affectionate at night/in the morning.

Yesterday we hung out the entire day, had an awesome day. we are drinking on a patio and she tells me she hasn't felt a connection similar to this since college (And she is 27), and then is holding my hand/cuddling me everything, and then told me she told her best friend this as well and her parents. obviously i feel a big connection with her as well, and told her that, but I know logically that its only been three weeks and these things take time (didnt tell her that part though). we go back to my place, end up taking a nap, she is very cuddly/etc the whole time,like keeps cuddling up next to me like a barnacle. she mentioned that if we keep doing intimate things, that she only wants to do them with me and doesnt want me to see other girls.

obviously this is progressing very fast, which makes me apprehensive because 3 weeks is barely any time (Although I do feel a connection with her).ive heard that people that come on strong are prone to just leaving as well.

I havn't had an experience like this with a girl before, what is going on? should I be concerned?

I'd go for it just don't knock her up or let her move in until you are sure of her character.

[NitrogenWidget]

I'd be more concerned if she said she loved me after 3 weeks than asking me to be monogamous AFTER we were already sleeping together.

And its really cute that she thinks you have options. :P

This.

It isn't like opie is seeing 3 different women weekly and trying to figure out which one to choose.

He's already treating her like a GF and she is the one who asked so why not?

[Konrai]

feelsgood to meet someone that is not like a typical 26 year old






lol trying to keep dat mystery for now




I just never met someone that ticks all these boxes for me (so far). reasonably attractive, talented, nice, fun, seems to have good moral values, actually puts effort into things for me. Its like I jumped from barely being able to attract non-fat women to this, and since I've never been in this situation before I'm not sure how to act, or if the way she is acting is normal.

seems like I should keep doing what I'm doing any enjoy the ride




les be honest, you guys are going to miss the CHAD pron stories and salty cynical comedic bitchfests

Nah I wont miss them, I genuinely enjoy seeing people succeed especially when it comes to relationships. Even getting one to last is a challenge all by itself and western society generally does not push for people to actually be committed but to 'live for yourself'. So it's actually nice to see someone giving some effort to push for something more serious than just a fling.

But back to the point, keep moving forward no matter what happens and just accept the fact that you can do everything right and a relationship can still fail because one person decides to stop trying. Some people have this idea that there is a specific 'time frame' where certain moves should be made and certain things should be said, and there is no true answer to this because everyone is different.

A relationship is a risk and whether you wait 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years, you are always going to find some sort of 'red flag' or issue that raises concern, you have to be able to judge if the person you are seeking a relationship with understands your boundaries and you understand theirs and what both your expectations are. Once those things are in place, you get in a relationship with them and see where it goes, and if either one of you violates those boundaries, then you both need to decide if the relationship can be salvaged or not. A relationship has to be built on commitment, it can't be built on material things or temporary things otherwise it is almost guaranteed to fail, I agree mystery and the 'journey' can be fun at times and there is nothing wrong with that per say, but remember, eventually all of that is going to come to a close and you will be both left with the difficult reality(s) on the table.

[psychosylocibin]

IKR. Time moves so fast, I myself can't believe I landed such a cool dude.


Can I bring my husband? Fair warning, he eats a lot so bring all your credit cards.

........

Psychoblob, so when are you guys getting married and can I come for free cake? O_o

Love the fact that I actually have a mutual connection with someone whom I am both mentally and physically attracted too.

At the same time, I'm slighly terrified because I'm a rational person and feel like I've been struggling to find someone like this for a decade, most likely becuase I'm objectively not at the same "level" as these people per the "rules" of the dating marketplace (lets be honest here, you are shooting above your league if you want a relationship, pursue women, and can't manage to find mutual attraction over a long period of time, not trying to downplay myslef, just trying to face some blatantly obvious things).

That's a rarity nowadays.

This dude has been complaining since 2007 and he has a good thing going but is still overthinking. Kinda sad.

dood, I'm rolling with it and enjoying the experience.

[MuzzieChik786]

At the same time, I'm slighly terrified because I'm a rational person and feel like I've been struggling to find someone like this for a decade, most likely becuase I'm objectively not at the same "level" as these people per the "rules" of the dating marketplace (lets be honest here, you are shooting above your league if you want a relationship, pursue women, and can't manage to find mutual attraction over a long period of time, not trying to downplay myslef, just trying to face some blatantly obvious things).

Stop that mindset right now! Remember, your problem always has been not your looks, but this mindset.

You deserve this relationship and you're going to reap the joy that comes along with this relationship. You're also going to give back as much as you receive. Keep telling yourself these things and put that negative chit above behind you. It's a new you!

[jimbong]

Love the fact that I actually have a mutual connection with someone whom I am both mentally and physically attracted too.

At the same time, I'm slighly terrified because I'm a rational person and feel like I've been struggling to find someone like this for a decade, most likely because I'm objectively not at the same "level" as these people per the "rules" of the dating marketplace (lets be honest here, you are shooting above your league if you want a relationship, pursue women, and can't manage to find mutual attraction over a long period of time, not trying to downplay myslef, just trying to face some blatantly obvious things).

If she is telling friends and family about you, then she is in deep. Highly likely that she too is worried/nervous of losing such a rare find in you. Enjoy the ride, things should come easily when you have a good match. You must BELIEVE that she is as lucky to be dating you, as you are with her.

[melDorado]

My current bf wanted to go exclusive after like 2 weeks but I liked him and I don't multidate anyway.. so I just went along with it even tho it seemed soon. Glad I did he's a stone cold gem.

Although it took quite long for him to say he loved me and chit

[DolphinPilot]

My current bf wanted to go exclusive after like 2 weeks but I liked him and I don't multidate anyway.. so I just went along with it even tho it seemed soon. Glad I did he's a stone cold gem.

Although it took quite long for him to say he loved me and chit

you forgot to tell us what ethnicity he is

[MuzzieChik786]

My current bf wanted to go exclusive after like 2 weeks but I liked him and I don't multidate anyway.. so I just went along with it even tho it seemed soon. Glad I did he's a stone cold gem.

Although it took quite long for him to say he loved me and chit

Nice! See, we need more happy stories like this on R/H.

[DanielleGreen]

you forgot to tell us what ethnicity he is

Who hurt you?

[melDorado]

you forgot to tell us what ethnicity he is

M8 I never get in beefs with you why this constant saltiness to me

[DanielleGreen]

M8 I never get in beefs with you why this constant saltiness to me

A lot of dudes here are salty because they haven't gotten laid in awhile. It will be year for me next month, I however has been focusing on cardio sine then. It's my own way of coping.