Chasing a girl

[Silencespeaks]

I really have and do struggle meeting people and I prefer to be with a female. I actually lived with a woman for 5 years who mentally and physically abused me. She even cheated on me where everyone on ******** even knew about before me but my income was so low I couldn’t leave anyways. She loved degrading me and even after I left I didn’t have enough confidence to approach any female. I always was rejected in my past although I feel I’m good looking and a hard working responsible man. There also aren’t many females around and the ones That add are born with more money than I’ll ever earn. It could be from my past experiences that I’m looking for people to screw me over instead of just enjoying what I have in front of me. To me I really like this person and I want them in my life so I’m willing to put up with sone of the stuff until we can resolve it

If you keep attracting toxic people like cheaters and abusive/manipulative people, that means you need to work on yourself.

Normal healthy emotionally stable people don’t attract toxic people and are not attracted to them. If that happens to you once the first time it could be that you were just naive. One experience like that should be all you need to learn your lesson and avoid such people in the future.

But if you keep attracting people like that it means you are either toxic yourself, in which case you deserve each other, or you’re codependent, which is something you need to heal in yourself.

You are half the dynamic in these messed up relationships, so you need to look at your own half. Otherwise this dynamic will keep repeating itself over and over.

[BlackScorpio91]

Depends what you want in life (and this entire response is based on there being initial, even vague, attraction from the female)

If you want to be a player, or pseudo player and have sex without feelings then your approach will work in certain circumstances (clubs, festivals, bars etc) but will also come with a widely known rep as someone not to be taken srsly

Will only work with the kind of woman who wants the same thing at that time - a scattergun approach to sex and someone you don’t have to ever think about

There are whole sectors of society who do not / will not appreciate your approach or reputation

I don't give a fuk about how you and other people view me in terms of me fuking different women. Why should I suppress that I want casual relationships just because YOU don't like it while other people either don't care or accept it? I'm just saying guys shouldn't just chase after one woman even if he doesn't have options because it makes him look like a simp and even if it does work, he just invested alot of time (and probably money) chasing after this one woman while he could be talking to other women who are going to be interested in him while not making you jump through hoops. Idk about you but I don't like having my time wasted. Sure I can have patience but someone here mentioned they chased a woman for 8 months before she finally accepted his advances? Why waste time like that?

And a guy can still tell a woman he wants to fuk her outside of bars, festivals, clubs. I've told women I only wanted to fuk with them at stores, restaurants and other places and still got the pussy. Not all the time (of course not every woman is going to like me) but a fairly decent amount of times.

[jongoo]

Chasing definitely works. It doesn't make you feel good about yourself after though. Especially if you are chasing a girl that is low value (not in terms of looks but in terms of who she is)

[Immichaelski]

Well it’s not fair to the other person no matter what sex they are. If you openly say I’d like to see other people that is one thing but if you say we are together and being with other people that is wrong

[mcdeez]

This is easier said than done. I honestly feel like the girl in with is playing me. Like she says she is coming over or will call and then just doesn’t and doesn’t even bother to tell me her plans changed. To me that is the most disrespectful thing a person could do. I feel like to them they are like he is always available and when they broke it off with me I came back like a beta bitch buying gifts and all but I really like them do I don’t know. I just feel it’s off to s bad start because if I’m already letting them do this to me it could be really bad in the future. I actually have a few girls that want to go out but to me they care nothing compared to her so I stay being the bitch but I really wonder what would happen if one day she was like coming over and then I said oppps I’m going out with this other chick. Would thst end it forever or would she start showing me more respect. She just is the type that runs off every tine she is mad and I’m the type that tells people what I dislike so I’m not sure how long I can keep this going. I do know I don’t see many guys putting up with this type stuff. Most guys I know get laid too much to put up with a chick that doesn’t even answer a txt for 3 days

Youre a ****ing weak beta

Stop disrespecting your self cut it off

"Easier to say than done" lol its only 3 months

its painful to read this ****

[Bryan444]

When one man chases a woman, it's bringing the herd down.

It makes all men look stupid.

Maybe it's Amerrican / Western European nonsense evil feminism.

But, use this as an example.

If a woman makes 40,000 dollars a year and if someone offers her 50,000 doing the same thing is she going to laugh and go "oh no, ask me again"

No, the woman will accept that job in a heart beat.

Same would apply for a man, if a woman values you why play around?

[iloveus]

[img]https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/********/000/008/764/Hodge_Twins.jpg[/img]

[UknowWho11]

If you're aesthetic as fuk you can get any girl you chase

[AdikinBawls]

Chasing definitely works. I've seen it work quite a few times too.

But just because it CAN work, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. I mean, how often does it actually work? 5% of the time? 10%? 15%? Probably not much more than that. So why waste your time on something that's probably not gonna work? Especially if you don't have many options. Life is way too short to spend it going after someone who doesn't care about you, and I think you'd be much better off if you immediately go after another girl if the first isn't reciprocating. And if you chase, and it doesn't work out? Well, then you end up with nothing, and still wasted all that time.

Also, in my observation, the guys who successfully chase typically have one of two things going for them:

-They're part of the same social circle as the girl (or are otherwise in a position where they can naturally interact with her very often), so there's a much better chance of her "falling" for him.

-There ISN'T a natural connection, and she's the type of girl to want a natural connection, but he's very good-looking and smooth, and is able to convince her otherwise.

Almost every single time I've seen chasing work, the situation was one of the two options above. I don't think either of these things are relevant most of the time with miscers, or with anybody asking for help with chicks on the internet, so typically it's better just to tell the guy to move on and see other women.

[Immichaelski]

I don’t know. My bloodline ya not even western but I always feel like women should be treated better. The man should take the beating while the wona lives easier but I believe women should be able to do as much as men if they wish. Most girls I’ve been with punch me and abuse me but it’s the mans job to take it and let them get frysterstion out imo. If I like soneone I’m going to go aftercut as long as I can

[NitrogenWidget]

I've seen a few guys chase the girl who kept straight arming them and eventually get her "forever" but not many.

I have seen a bunch of ugly dudes with money or status be persistent with women and eventually say or do something to trigger them into going out with them.
but, those guys are always smoother than they look and in truth major d-bags who manipulate women and usually end up being verbally and physically abusive and it implodes.

I've seen the hot high class woman play the field for months with multiple men NOT putting out and taking her time deciding who to pick. though i know for a fact some those "good girls" had a FWB the whole time.

As for me, the only time a woman I was interested in changed her mind about me was when I gave her attention for a short while trying to get with her then went dark on her without warning then a month later give her attention, then go dark.
When I say give attention I mean waste my time flirting with her in person or over text a few weeks .
When I say go dark I mean I'd maintain radio silence via phone, email, text but would be friendly when I saw them out then disregard and give my attention to more receptive women.
they would sometimes start chasing me and I learned to basically friendzone when that happened in order to drive them into a froth and pretty much come onto me and initiate sex.
FYI - not high quality women.

other than that, dropping a few BF% points always made women change their mind about me.

[BlackScorpio91]

you are taking it personally

I don't give a fuk who you choose to fuk or not

but don't start wailing about relationships or no decent woman if that's your approach.

and don't start advising people who do want LTR to run a stable

and don't mistake seeing something you want and working to get it as valueless

Since when have I've complained about no decent women? You're reaching.

So you're basically promoting a scarcity mentality? Just LOL. GTFO of here.

Don't you realize most people date multiple people at the same time to see who they best want to make their next gf/bf.

[Evolutionary1]

Those are just exceptions though, doesn't make it the rule dude.

The reality is most of the time if you're constantly chasing after a woman, she ain't interested in you PERIOD and alot of the misc knows this from their experiences. That's what Manipulative Timewasters look for is desperate clowns chasing after them and boosting their egos.

Plus why waste time chasing after one woman when there are plenty of them out there? Who has time to do that?

That's some straight simp chit.

Exactly. It's all for their ego

[skinnyfat88]

I think there is a confusion about what chasing is. Some less experienced/successful men hear the others say "don't chase, let them chase you" and do nothing to initiate and build attraction with women.

Depending on your persona and the situation, maybe you'll talk to a girl for 10 minutes at the bar and she'll immediately be the one pursuing you and wanting to make plans afterwards. Usually it will at least take a date or two though.

IMO if they text you immediately after a date stating they had a great time and want to go out again yadda yadda they've begun the chasing. They initiate via text, they're actively trying to impress you on the date, touch you, keep the convo going, etc

But to get to that point you still have to show your interest in them and begin the attraction process. So YOU still have to approach, get their number, make some decent convo via a dating app, etc before they can even get to know you enough to want to chase you.

[BlackScorpio91]

You appreciate how recently that phenomenon developed. and it is certainly not everywhere and through every societal class

talk about stacking the decks against you

Way before I was born and maybe around your time, people were dating multiple people at the same time lady. It's not some recent phenomenon. idk where you live but here in the US, that's actually quite normal. Hell I think even my own Mother (who's a devout Christian) dated multiple guys before settling with my Dad, granted that was also in another country. She never fuked these dudes but just dated them to see what they were about.

Only retarded people date one person at a time.

How are the cards stacked against you if you're dating/fuking multiple people? That's called exploring your options.

[Bryan444]

Way before I was born and maybe around your time, people were dating multiple people at the same time lady. It's not some recent phenomenon. idk where you live but here in the US, that's actually quite normal. Hell I think even my own Mother (who's a devout Christian) dated multiple guys before settling with my Dad, granted that was also in another country. She never fuked these dudes but just dated them to see what they were about.

Only retarded people date one person at a time.

How are the cards stacked against you if you're dating/fuking multiple people? That's called exploring your options.

I would agree that people like to play the field / date multiple people.

However, it's still unethical but everyone does it anyways...

People are cut throat and like to see what options they have.

[BlackScorpio91]

Bollocks

Serial monogamy was the way ..dating multiple people at the same time was never OK

Nice chit talking your mom

Cards are stacked against you because people take you to be not worthy of being serious about

So?

So what if they think that? That means that they're not the right person for me.

[Tuga88]

Just saying NO CONTACT for every situation is stupid imo. I always think back to women I was seeing and then dropped, they wanted more and I didn't. Guess what? They went no contact and I did not give a fuk. Never spoke to them again. I always laugh when I hear no contact always works

[BlackScorpio91]

I would agree that people like to play the field / date multiple people.

However, it's still unethical but everyone does it anyways...

People are cut throat and like to see what options they have.

It's only unethical if you're not telling a woman you're dating/fuking other women. Other than that, wtf is the problem?

[Bryan444]

It's only unethical if you're not telling a woman you're dating/fuking other women. Other than that, wtf is the problem?

I agree with pretty much everything you post, not just here.

I agree with you here, if the woman knows what's going on she can't go and complain.

I still say it's "unethical", but no one has ethics anyways ha

[BlackScorpio91]

I agree with pretty much everything you post, not just here.

I agree with you here, if the woman knows what's going on she can't go and complain.

I still say it's "unethical", but no one has ethics anyways ha

Explain how it's unethical.

Enlighten me.

[Silencespeaks]

Just saying NO CONTACT for every situation is stupid imo. I always think back to women I was seeing and then dropped, they wanted more and I didn't. Guess what? They went no contact and I did not give a fuk. Never spoke to them again. I always laugh when I hear no contact always works

No contact is to protect yourself and force you to move on and to focus on yourself instead of another person. It’s not meant to get someone back.

[_chef_]

Husband wanted to get married after a month and a half, I was like nah. Instead of taking offense to that and going NC he continued to pursue. Eventually, it was time and we got engaged then married. Here we are, almost 2 years in and very blessed and happy that we met each other.

Non-creepy chasing is expected and rewarded I'd say. But there's a fine line there about detecting signs and making things up in your head because you want it so bad.

Muslims get married early so they can fuk. Just say it like it is.

It's not like westerners who fuk like rabbits regardless of marital status.

I talked to a girl who got engaged after two months because the dude was a muslim and couldn't fuk before getting engaged. Don't try to portray it like some noble act, dude wanted to get the puss puss.

#getreal

[DanielleGreen]

I think there is a confusion about what chasing is. Some less experienced/successful men hear the others say "don't chase, let them chase you" and do nothing to initiate and build attraction with women.

Depending on your persona and the situation, maybe you'll talk to a girl for 10 minutes at the bar and she'll immediately be the one pursuing you and wanting to make plans afterwards. Usually it will at least take a date or two though.

IMO if they text you immediately after a date stating they had a great time and want to go out again yadda yadda they've begun the chasing. They initiate via text, they're actively trying to impress you on the date, touch you, keep the convo going, etc

But to get to that point you still have to show your interest in them and begin the attraction process. So YOU still have to approach, get their number, make some decent convo via a dating app, etc before they can even get to know you enough to want to chase you.

This is misc buddy... They can't differentiate for chit.

[DrNo1962]

“Chasing” is a negative word because it implies over-pursuing a girl or persisting with someone who has jerked you around/rejected you.

Courting a girl or subtle persistence is what usually wins her over if she’s a 50/50 or slightly more. This requires a man to start the dating engine by setting the first few dates and then escalating each interaction (Physically/Emotionally etc.)

A lot of guys are too aloof/passive when they date girls because they think the person who cares less has more power in the interaction. Whilst that may be true, this cannot work on someone who already doesn’t care that much about you yet.

[Maylie]

If a man is chasing and it is working out for him, she is 100% giving off signals she wants him to chase. I don't believe for one second a man gets shut down hard and then continues to chase and gets anything more than a restraining order.

A woman I broke it off with after a few dates over a month ago still msgs me. It's not like she's going to wear me down and I'm going to change my mind. That would only work if I still wanted her.

If I want a woman, I'll give it a go and make an effort, but with no reciprocation.. peace out.

This right here

I need a guy to make some effort in order to prove he isn’t just looking for easy sex or low hanging fruit. Some dudes act like they like you, but really they’re just bottom feeders casting a wide net.

It’s not about playing games it’s about protecting myself from being used.

If I give a guy a firm no, that means leave me alone

But if I’m giving off all kinds of signals, it means I need you to prove that you’re serious

[Aristotelian]

Not every guy has lots of options, kinda going off topic though. I'm not arguing that men should chase, I'm claiming it works reasonably often, which is surprising to me.

To develop this: just because a guy has options (I had some at the very moment I met my now wife for the very first time) doesn't mean he appreciates them. So, this fact directly contradicts BlackScorpio91's previous claim that "If a guy has options or is trying to get more options, he ain't going to chase one chick."

Not all options are equally valuable.

On 'chasing' - well, as Maylie says there are plenty of guys just looking to get laid (women too, by the way) but masquerade this behind a 'game' where their 'game' is to manipulate women into thinking that they like them and then just pump and dump. Any woman who has experienced that where she was looking for something more is obviously going to think twice next time a guy says "Wow, sorry to just approach you but honestly they don't make women like you any more. Would you join me for a drink or a bite to eat later, assuming you enjoy eating and/or drinking, huh huh?" and so on.

People looking for genuine romance with someone else wade through a sea of devastation (often leaving devastation in their wake) and are hurt a few times in the process. It's natural to develop your 'guard' in this context.

[Tuga88]

No contact is to protect yourself and force you to move on and to focus on yourself instead of another person. It’s not meant to get someone back.

Really...you don't say?

People looking for genuine romance with someone else wade through a sea of devastation (often leaving devastation in their wake) and are hurt a few times in the process. It's natural to develop your 'guard' in this context.

So much truth. Would rep but seems I recently did.

[RyuG]

No contact is to protect yourself and force you to move on and to focus on yourself instead of another person. It’s not meant to get someone back.

It is also the most effective way to get someone back, as long as you know how to do NC (Its not just going no contact and staring at the phone for months). Not healthy yeah but thats the best way srs.





Anyway, this is a very delicate topic OP, it varies a lot from situation to situation. The most important thing to note is HOW to chase, and WHO to chase.

If its a well known slut, or an easy enough girl, or a girl that simply has a long history of dating chads or douches or whatever, yeah that clearly isnt a girl you should be chasing. Why? Because why invest your time and energy chasing a girl that has given it to plenty of guys on the past? Why chase a girl that normally wouldnt need to be chased?

Chasing such a girl, IMO makes you look kind of beta, like the kind of guy who marries a former HBB who spent her youth fuking Chads and Tyrones and now had to settle down with the beta provider.

An easy girl like that, you ask her out and when se says "no", well you leave it at that, aint nobody got time for wasting time on a slut. You should chase a girl that is actually a quality girl, and isnt known for being a whore or having 20 boyfriends. The definition of quality girl is relative to every man's views so ill talk about that some other time

Thats just my opinion tho, i consider myself a great catch (dat brag i know) so i wouldnt even waste two seconds with a girl like that playing games, but maybe for guys with less options it may be worth trying to chase a slut, thats on you and its your decision to make. But whether you go for it or not, you need to know HOW to chase, which brings me to my next point.


How to chase a girl? No, its not by asking her out every weekend, or becoming her best friend and giving her guy advice with the classic "you deserve so much girl" line, or texting her everyday talking about Gilmore Girls.

First of all, if you are going to chase her, first she needs to know that you like her. No question around it. "Hey do you wanna do XXX with me?, no? Thats ok, see you around".

Thats your first step *******. Let her know you want her. She may not be interested at first, but you know what? The hardest things are the ones that are the most worth it.

If she rejects you nicely (as a quality girl who is used to rejecting guys would), then you be cool with it. Dont get butthurt, dont act needy or desperate. Its not the end of the world for you.

You have to somehow let her know, that she isnt your only option, you can fuk women, women want you, its just that she is your first choice.

After she rejects you, she has to see you acting cool, charismatic, nice to her and everyone else, talking to other women (but not being a manwhore, quality girl will run from that), just a nice dude that has his **** together and its not desperate whatsoever for no woman.

You need to take care of yourself, get leaner, get better looking, better clothing, better haircut. Nothing too obvious. Work on yourself as much as you can, improve yourself so you feel better about yourself and you end up believing you can get any woman you want.

After the first rejection, you keep it cool, and just be nice and charismatic with her, worst thing you can do its turn the rejection into an uncomfortable situation. Say hi to her, but dont give her too much attention. Remember she already rejected you, just be nice to her but dont try to hang around her more than you actually need. Just let her see you be cool with other people.

After a couple of weeks go by, she may be wondering if you still like her. You better let her know you still do. After a few weeks of being nice with eachother and being cool, WHEN the opportunity arises you tell her again "btw i still like you a lot, just putting it out there haha" or some **** like that. Watch her reaction.

You may or may not get rejected again. Just never let her see you get desperate or act needy around her, you want her but you still have your own **** to do. Repeat the process until you date her or she gets into another relationship.

Eventually, you should listen to your gut feeling too. It will tell you if you actually have a chance or you are just wasting your fukin time.

This entire wall of text i posted doesnt mean bull**** if you are an average skinny fat NW3 dude chasing the hottest girl on the gym that has 10 Chads after her. I mean you gotta at least be realistic.





Im applying this right now with a girl that i want to have a relationship with, and lord knows ill get her, and if i dont, then seriously as cliche as it sounds the loss will be on her side cause i consider myself the best piece of hot boyfriend material you can find out there.

[Harry815]

In the case of a breakup where the girl left the guy because he neglected her, took her for granted, and didn't really make her feel like he had long-term goals with her, I think chasing in that case is great for winning her back. It shows that he's willing to change and does indeed desire her.

In the case where a girl ends it with a guy because HE was too clingy, then no-contact is definitely the best option. It'll get her thinking "maybe he isn't as insecure as I thought". Either he wins her or she just gets relieved that he's gone and nothing happens. But in this case, no-contact gives him better odds than chasing.