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  1. #1
    Registered User DiscoStu82's Avatar
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    Unhappy 36 years old & still haven’t cracked it!

    Hi all,

    I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I really need it and have posted here after watching an inspirational video on YouTube about a guy who went from being morbidly obese to in shape due to support given on these forums. I’m not morbidly obese but equally desperate!

    About me:
    - 36 years old
    - 6ft6” tall
    - 285 pounds (20 stone 5)
    - Highly active “sort of” elite sportsman until the age of 22 (rugby, soccer)
    - Lifted a fair amount of weight at this time
    - Cardio-vascular fitness has always been a weakness although it was “good” when playing sport but that was due to amount of training/playing I was doing as opposed to being naturally fit
    - Always carried too much body fat even when playing sport (especially around abdomen and chest)
    - Currently play no sport
    - Do a bit of running/jogging/walking over reasonable distances (5-10k) at least once a week but often twice
    - Historically had a high carb/poor diet. Too much chocolate and sugary soda
    - Recently (last 2/3 months) have shifted to a low carb diet alongside intermittent fasting - this has consisted of no (very few) carbs throughout the day and a sensible meal for dinner with some carbs (this is much better than previously). I then don’t eat between 7.30pm (after dinner) until 12-1pm the following day. Surprisingly I haven’t found this too hard...I have one cheat meal on a Friday (takeaway with wife and some kind of naughty desert afterwards)
    - I drink a lot of Pepsi Max. I appreciate this isn’t ideal but it doesn’t seem to have an effect in terms of wanting to snack (spiking my blood sugar) or at least I never give in to temptation aside from Friday evenings. I rarely drink tea or coffee
    - I rarely drink alcohol (2 beers a month max but I often go 3/4 months without drinking at all and have been this way since I was 18)
    - Drink 3 pints of water (ridiculously weak squash) a day (breakfast/lunch/dinner)
    - I do some high-rep/low weight lifting every day. This consists of me curling and shoulder pressing 10k dumbbells, 30 times, 3 times a day. I do this because of the supposed calories burned by muscle mass...? Also for self-esteem if I’m honest (it’s nice to have big arms isn’t it...? It’s probably the only aspect of my body I’m kind of OK with)
    - Over the last 3 months I have started experimenting with some supplements - XLS Medical appetite suppressant and XLS fat binders. I use/used the suppressants at the start of the low carb diet to “get me started”. I have 2 in the morning to limit cravings and after my dinner for the same reason. I don’t use them every day but most. I use the fat binders after my dinner most days but less than the suppressants. I ran out of XLS suppressants about a week ago and changed to Raspberry Ketones (glucammanon) because they were cheaper and seemed to have a similar effect (according to reviews).
    - I have a relatively active job. I’m a teacher but I rarely sit down and walk around the building a lot. Over 10K steps per day on average

    Sorry for the above.
    If you are still awake/alive after reading all that then thank you.
    The reason I have written in so much detail is because I am truly desperate! I am “ashamed” of my body fat - I use that word advisedly! I am ashamed of how I look with my top off - I won’t undress in front of my wife, I won’t go swimming with other families, I won’t even look at myself in a mirror. When I sit anywhere I, subconsciously, hold a cushion over my stomach.
    It really gets me down.
    Don’t get me wrong - I’m not after a six-pack. I’m not unrealistic. I’m getting older and therefore will naturally hold on to body fat more readily, I get that. But I want to lose “some belly” and “some man-boobs” - I want to be fitter and look OK in a fitted t-shirt or if I go in a swimming pool.

    Am I missing something? I am open to advice but I wouldn’t be able to increase the frequency of excercise too much due to work/family.
    PLEASE can someone give me some advice.

    Like i said, I’m desperate and it has started having an effect on my mental health...who am I kidding? It has had an effect on my mental health for 10 years now.

    Thank you once again for taking the time to read my ramblings...
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  2. #2
    Harsh Truth Distributor xsquid99's Avatar
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    The best weight loss and muscle building advice you will ever get:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0eWbk-0qdg

    The truth about "Recomping"
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aErqkCgDuE
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  3. #3
    Train hard play harder Tommy W.'s Avatar
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    Fatloss is a product of a consistent net calorie deficit over time. Nothing more, nothing less.
    If you don't get what you want you didn't want it bad enough
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  4. #4
    Registered User royalmike's Avatar
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    As above don't over complicate fat loss, but forget the supplements, lift on proper program and read the Nutrition stickies and you will get to your target eventually.
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  5. #5
    Yells at clouds BS57's Avatar
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    Be sure to thoroughly read the link in xsquidd99's post.

    Also:

    - Over the last 3 months I have started experimenting with some supplements - XLS Medical appetite suppressant and XLS fat binders. I use/used the suppressants at the start of the low carb diet to “get me started”. I have 2 in the morning to limit cravings and after my dinner for the same reason. I don’t use them every day but most. I use the fat binders after my dinner most days but less than the suppressants. I ran out of XLS suppressants about a week ago and changed to Raspberry Ketones (glucammanon) because they were cheaper and seemed to have a similar effect (according to reviews).
    Don't waste any more money on this/similar stuff.
    "We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away."
    Dean Stanforth- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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  6. #6
    Registered User DiscoStu82's Avatar
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    I’m here for advice (and thank you for the replies so far) but I have found that the suppressants in particular have helped. When I started my low carb diet they helped me feel fuller and stop snacking between meals. It may be a placebo but either way it makes nutrition easier.
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  7. #7
    pay the iron price SuffolkPunch's Avatar
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    It certainly helps to find a method of controlling your appetite - but my advice is don't rely on something you wouldn't do for the rest of your life. I'm not saying that you have to eat like a bird forevermore (that would be doing it wrong for sure) but you do need to change whatever habit it was that got you overweight in the first place. It's easier to make small nudges in the right direction than radical changes that you won't stick to for more than a short period.
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  8. #8
    Cals in vs. cals out Striation's Avatar
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    I'm 37 and in my best shape so far. Don't let age be your excuse. Small to moderate deficit, resistance training and suffiicient protein and you're on your way. The hard part is consistency over a long time.
    Add me on instagram @davidgzz1981
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  9. #9
    Registered User DiscoStu82's Avatar
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    Cheers mate.
    You’ve hit the nail on the head. What it is in my diet that has lead to my body fat is something I’m not sure about.
    When I have been demotivated I have overeaten carbs. The suppressants have taken the edge off eating.
    As mentioned in my original post - for the last 3 months I have followed the following plan (aside from 2 weeks over Christmas when I cracked a rib):
    - Lunch = either poacher eggs x2 and bacon, sandwich (cheese or meat) x3 slices of wholemeal bread or omelette (cheese).
    - Dinner (typically) = Meat (chicken Kiev, chicken or steak), carbs (roast potatoes, potato waffles, potato croquettes) but I don’t eat vegetables unfortunately.

    Then I don’t eat until the following day at lunch time which gives me a typical fast of 17 hours which, with appetite suppressants, I find quite easy and doesn’t have a noticeable impact on energy levels.

    Your thoughts? I’m a bit of an awkward eater. I wish I ate more veg but I don’t eat much at all. Salad occasionally.
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  10. #10
    pay the iron price SuffolkPunch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    Cheers mate.
    You’ve hit the nail on the head. What it is in my diet that has lead to my body fat is something I’m not sure about.
    When I have been demotivated I have overeaten carbs. The suppressants have taken the edge off eating.
    As mentioned in my original post - for the last 3 months I have followed the following plan (aside from 2 weeks over Christmas when I cracked a rib):
    - Lunch = either poacher eggs x2 and bacon, sandwich (cheese or meat) x3 slices of wholemeal bread or omelette (cheese).
    - Dinner (typically) = Meat (chicken Kiev, chicken or steak), carbs (roast potatoes, potato waffles, potato croquettes) but I don’t eat vegetables unfortunately.

    Then I don’t eat until the following day at lunch time which gives me a typical fast of 17 hours which, with appetite suppressants, I find quite easy and doesn’t have a noticeable impact on energy levels.

    Your thoughts? I’m a bit of an awkward eater. I wish I ate more veg but I don’t eat much at all. Salad occasionally.
    I am absolutely sure what it was the lead to being overweight - consistently eating too many calories. Don't blame carbs - although some highly processed carb products can be very easy to overeat (although they usually have plenty of added fat in them too so just calling them 'carbs' is misleading)

    You should eat more vegetables. Even if you start just by adding carrots and peas, that would be better than nothing. They are low calorie density and will help fill you up.

    They say if you eat something you don't like 10 times, you will start liking it.
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  11. #11
    Registered User DiscoStu82's Avatar
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    Yeah - I know your right. But I was force fed veg as a child and now I really struggle. I think I was sick at the tea table and since then I’ve had a huge aversion. Would a supplement that includes the nutrients of veg help?
    I know supplements aren’t a good thing generally but I really struggle with veg.
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  12. #12
    work harder. dymastaj's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    Yeah - I know your right. But I was force fed veg as a child and now I really struggle. I think I was sick at the tea table and since then I’ve had a huge aversion. Would a supplement that includes the nutrients of veg help?
    I know supplements aren’t a good thing generally but I really struggle with veg.
    No man, the absorption of nutrients isn't near what it is from whole food. Just start with one veggie and get into that, then later you can add more.
    Good. - Jocko
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  13. #13
    Starvation Mode GO! NitrogenWidget's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    Yeah - I know your right. But I was force fed veg as a child and now I really struggle. I think I was sick at the tea table and since then I’ve had a huge aversion. Would a supplement that includes the nutrients of veg help?
    I know supplements aren’t a good thing generally but I really struggle with veg.
    I get these little steamer pouches of broc**** and fake cheese sauce to mix with my cut up chicken breast.
    a little hot sauce thrown on it and it's really good.
    for me at least.

    gotta try different things until you find something you can tolerate for the duration.
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    Registered User maggiesfarm's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    I won’t undress in front of my wife, I won’t go swimming with other families, I won’t even look at myself in a mirror. When I sit anywhere I, subconsciously, hold a cushion over my stomach.
    To be blunt, I think the issue is that you are at the mercy of your emotions.

    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    I was force fed veg as a child and now I really struggle. I think I was sick at the tea table
    Just-so stories like the above are a red flag, IMO. Storytelling takes time and energy that you could instead be putting towards a solution. I won't moralize by saying that "grown men shouldn't struggle with veg" but if you can't push past discomfort, then you are best served by quitting. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. But don't don't put your wife through talk about how you're "really going to do it this time," and then wimp out because veggies are yucky (or whatever it ends up being).

    Losing weight requires that you constantly endure small discomforts over a long period of time. It might be bland food, or abstaining from things you like, or more intense workouts. It might be getting back on the wagon after a stumble. But no matter what it is that day, you *will* have to endure discomfort. Every day, and in the presence of temptation.

    For example: I didn't grow up drinking water. Sounds weird, but we didn't drink water in my house. I had to learn to like it. That was years ago. Now I mostly only drink water, and don't even enjoy soft drinks.

    You decide what goes into your mouth, not the ghosts of your parents, not your memories of throwing up that one time. Those things might factor into the decision, but you are the decider.

    Originally Posted by NitrogenWidget View Post
    gotta try different things until you find something you can tolerate for the duration.
    Very much this. I don't mean to imply by the above that you have to white knuckle the whole thing. The more things you try, the more inroads you find. I was for a long time afraid to meal prep (because of the lack of variety) but now it's my biggest weapon. If carb cycling feels easier to you, then maybe that's the answer (for you). But stick to it, and make sure your total calories are dialed in, because that's the thing that matters most.
    Last edited by maggiesfarm; 01-10-2019 at 10:08 PM.
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  15. #15
    Registered User DiscoStu82's Avatar
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    Amazing post - thank you!
    The discomfort I’m putting myself through at the moment is general reduction of food (carbs in the main). If that alone doesn’t work (with increased exercise) then I will tackle the veg issue.

    Truly appreciate your honesty! 👍🏻
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    Registered User CommitmentRulz's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DiscoStu82 View Post
    Amazing post - thank you!
    The discomfort I’m putting myself through at the moment is general reduction of food (carbs in the main). If that alone doesn’t work (with increased exercise) then I will tackle the veg issue.

    Truly appreciate your honesty!
    Just to make sure this is perfectly clear:

    Carbs are not your "problem". Eating more calories than you burn is your problem. You could never eat another carb in your life and STILL gain 50 pounds this year. It's not WHAT you eat as much as it's HOW MUCH of it you eat.

    Losing weight is a long, slow process. It takes determination and consistency. Don't fall into the 'cheat day' trap. you can eat up an entire week's work of caloric deficit in one blow out day.

    You can do this! Good luck.
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