I don't feel unattractive but attract nobody, maybe I am?

[AlamedaBoy]

For what it’s worth I’m the opposite OP- consistently surprised at how attractive the girls that like me are.

Great man. It's amazing how it works.

[johnnydeep1]

The funny thing is theres been no direct proof on here that anyone cold approached and had success. People just say this stuff. I've never seen a successful cold approach irl

How do ppl not feel desperate doing this?

I've seen cold approaches in real life. They all ended in failures. One was a guy from China who hit on about 10 women and got rejected by all, one was a cowboy guy(I live in Texas) who hit on another white girl and got rejected and another was a random white guy who approached a girl, called her cute and got rejected then as well.

I guess it could work if you look REALLY good, but from what I've seen (about 12 in real life) they all failed. Keep in mind many of those YouTube videos are actually fake, use male models, take out the rejections or those girls just keep the numbers without calling back or responding.

[johnnydeep1]

For what it’s worth I’m the opposite OP- consistently surprised at how attractive the girls that like me are.

I used to be that way in middle and H.S. Now I am surprised that girls AREN'T MORE interested in me.

[devopsengineer]

https://imgur.com/a/Q9hsdUj

Literally don't attract anybody. I don't feel that bad, but I have a bad feeling I'm decently photogenic(look better than I do in reality) I added a video but it's so hard to know. I suppose if you ain't attracting anybody you are by definition, unattractive.

You are average. And for us average looking it is really hard to attract anybody. If you had your face bitten off by a crocodile it would be easier, it attracts attention, it attracts "where is your face" questions.

But for average guys, it is hard because average == invisible. Just some guy, nothing special about him. There are millions like that. So yeah, average is unatractive.

[RonaldMcflurry]

The funny thing is theres been no direct proof on here that anyone cold approached and had success. People just say this stuff. I've never seen a successful cold approach irl

How do ppl not feel desperate doing this?

Are you fking serious? People successfully cold approach every second of every day. Don't make excuses. Try it.

[johnnydeep1]

You are average. And for us average looking it is really hard to attract anybody. If you had your face bitten off by a crocodile it would be easier, it attracts attention, it attracts "where is your face" questions.

But for average guys, it is hard because average == invisible. Just some guy, nothing special about him. There are millions like that. So yeah, average is unatractive.

The issue is that if you are ugly, then you will be attracted to an ugly person and you can form a relationship. If you are average or even above average then you will never be truly happy with going with an ugly person. Men are very visual.

For example, an ugly Chinese girl hit on me in my tax accounting class. If I were ugly, I would take her. Issue is that I seem to be about average or even slightly above average (IMO, based on who I got in middle and H.S) , so it was very hard for me to say yes to her. I thought about it for some weeks but eventually declined her romantic advances. She was also getting quite creepy and talked to me about starting a family, marriage and her other long-term goals. If I wanted to, it would seem almost impossible to break up with this person considering that she's already talking about marriage and starting a family(pretty much a female version of a creep.) Better to put my desperation aside, and not start this relationship in the first place.

[AlamedaBoy]

You are average. And for us average looking it is really hard to attract anybody. If you had your face bitten off by a crocodile it would be easier, it attracts attention, it attracts "where is your face" questions.

But for average guys, it is hard because average == invisible. Just some guy, nothing special about him. There are millions like that. So yeah, average is unatractive.

I'm given you red there, not because you think I'm average but the hyperbole in the post means I know you're not trying to be helpful. Also, there's no way I'm just average. https://imgur.com/a/aPwh67Q
It depends what you mean by average of course, if you just mean relatively good looking guy who blends in with population, then yeah, but objectively I'd say I'm better than average on a 0-10 scale.

[devopsengineer]

I'm given you red there, not because you think I'm average but the hyperbole in the post means I know you're not trying to be helpful. Also, there's no way I'm just average. https://imgur.com/a/aPwh67Q
It depends what you mean by average of course, if you just mean relatively good looking guy who blends in with population, then yeah, but objectively I'd say I'm better than average.

Well sorry but it is true.


90% of people are average. Average people need to jump up and down to attract attention, and when attention is on them they have to make it count. I know because I am average. I also get told that I am good looking by neutral people (as in old women and others I don;t care), but girls don't think so.

Extremely ugly and extremely good looking all have an easier time. You can neg me how much you want.

[AlamedaBoy]

That's fair then, you're definition of good looking is obviously very high. I'll take that neg back tomorrow

[johnnydeep1]

Well sorry but it is true.


90% of people are average. Average people need to jump up and down to attract attention, and when attention is on them they have to make it count. I know because I am average. I also get told that I am good looking by neutral people (as in old women and others I don;t care), but girls don't think so.

Extremely ugly and extremely good looking all have an easier time. You can neg me how much you want.

SAME. My male dentist told me I look good and my sister often tells me the same . My mom told me that I can easily get a G.F. and that I am handsome. A few old ladies said the same. None of this is relevant to me because its not like I can go out with these folks(gross)

I wish some 5.000/10 girl would complement like that over the last 2 years or so. That would be the green signal for asking them out.

[Jms89]

You could always do what soyboys are doing now and just become trans.

[eod8989]

I've seen cold approaches in real life. They all ended in failures. One was a guy from China who hit on about 10 women and got rejected by all, one was a cowboy guy(I live in Texas) who hit on another white girl and got rejected and another was a random white guy who approached a girl, called her cute and got rejected then as well.

I guess it could work if you look REALLY good, but from what I've seen (about 12 in real life) they all failed. Keep in mind many of those YouTube videos are actually fake, use male models, take out the rejections or those girls just keep the numbers without calling back or responding.

I mean yeah i've seen guys holler at girls and some random dude ask some girl out to eat in the store but i don't count that because they literally just hollered at them. An actual approach though, i've never seen it. I never even see men and women talk to each other since 2014-2015. I used to see it years ago but it's rare now. Everyone stays to themselves.

[johnnydeep1]

I mean yeah i've seen guys holler at girls and some random dude ask some girl out to eat in the store but i don't count that because they literally just hollered at them. An actual approach though, i've never seen it. I never even see men and women talk to each other since 2014-2015. I used to see it years ago but it's rare now. Everyone stays to themselves.

LOL, yeah. I go to all my classes in college and I see girls sit around guys and never talk through the entire semester. If they do talk, they only do it once in a while for fun or the guy is trying to get hooked up and the girl does not care. I have only seen 1 maybe 2 hookups in all of college in 4.5 years.

[AlamedaBoy]

Is my hair really such a negative? I'm not really able to do much with it because of the texture/hairline(naturally weaker right side) I just get a fade usually and keep length.

[Luc1fer]

Is my hair really such a negative? I'm not really able to do much with it because of the texture/hairline(naturally weaker right side) I just get a fade usually and keep length.

Nice work completely ignoring her primary point. I think that pretty much answers her question though - clear avoidance of anything non-looks related.

Why don't you ever listen... it's your personality. Work on your social skills - I know it's easier to avoid it, but you'll regret it if you stay in your comfort zone.

[AlamedaBoy]

Hey man, I have a good personality but girls don't give me the chance to express it. I find I really find it easy to form good bonds with guys but I never get past a superficial stage with girls. I really try to just treat them like people(which is what they are so why wouldn't I?) but they always have a wall build up around them. I mentioned a girl I like but she has a boyfriend, I felt we clicked even on a platonic level but she kinda backed off. Is this normal for a girl in a relationship if she's loyal to back off from a guy? I feel I am good to talk to, I'm light-hearted and random but the walls girls tend to put up and never really having had a good friend who is a girl has led me to think they just don't want to associate with me beyond a superficial level.

[TinySquats]

you look good. agree w/ others, vamp up the wardrobe. Alameda also might be a little dead for meeting people.

[otakutrevan]

Hey man, I have a good personality but girls don't give me the chance to express it. I find I really find it easy to form good bonds with guys but I never get past a superficial stage with girls. I really try to just treat them like people(which is what they are so why wouldn't I?) but they always have a wall build up around them. I mentioned a girl I like but she has a boyfriend, I felt we clicked even on a platonic level but she kinda backed off. Is this normal for a girl in a relationship if she's loyal to back off from a guy? I feel I am good to talk to, I'm light-hearted and random but the walls girls tend to put up and never really having had a good friend who is a girl has led me to think they just don't want to associate with me beyond a superficial level.

Been experiencing that my entire life. I called the "wall" the "people god don't hit on me" You arent "ugly" by any means op. You arent overweight, you're part of the majority demographic racially.....However as wel know being "average" as a man doesn't really mean much


.What do the women look like that you reject ?

[liftforchrist5]

Op posting a thread with photos of yourself asking a bunch of guys if you are attractive or not is just plain stupid. Lol it screams that you have self esteem and confidence issues. That’s what you need to work on. Women have a sixth sense with that stuff. You become a more confident man you will attract more women. Also figure out what kind of women you like the most and figure out where those types of women hang out and go there.

[johnnydeep1]

Hey man, I have a good personality but girls don't give me the chance to express it. I find I really find it easy to form good bonds with guys but I never get past a superficial stage with girls. I really try to just treat them like people(which is what they are so why wouldn't I?) but they always have a wall build up around them. I mentioned a girl I like but she has a boyfriend, I felt we clicked even on a platonic level but she kinda backed off. Is this normal for a girl in a relationship if she's loyal to back off from a guy? I feel I am good to talk to, I'm light-hearted and random but the walls girls tend to put up and never really having had a good friend who is a girl has led me to think they just don't want to associate with me beyond a superficial level.

Same. I noticed that many girls smile at me, giggle or make cute jokes, but they don't seem to want to give me a chance in terms of actually going out with them. The vast majority of these girls already have boyfriends, so I think that may be why. Perhaps they are just joking or being friendly though. Who knows. Impossible to tell.

[otakutrevan]

Op posting a thread with photos of yourself asking a bunch of guys if you are attractive or not is just plain stupid. Lol it screams that you have self esteem and confidence issues. That’s what you need to work on. Women have a sixth sense with that stuff. You become a more confident man you will attract more women. Also figure out what kind of women you like the most and figure out where those types of women hang out and go there.

It doesn't "scream" anything. All it "screams" if OP trying to figure out and solve a problem.

[iamdetermined]

Op posting a thread with photos of yourself asking a bunch of guys if you are attractive or not is just plain stupid. Lol it screams that you have self esteem and confidence issues. That’s what you need to work on. Women have a sixth sense with that stuff. You become a more confident man you will attract more women. Also figure out what kind of women you like the most and figure out where those types of women hang out and go there.

I don't know about that man. How would you explain beta guys who end up with these girls? And where do I find girls that don't care about these so called self esteem or confidence issues?

I've seen dudes get checked pretty hard in front of their gf's and the girls still like them. Sometimes I've been around dudes who get super possessive whenever I get around their girls...obvious sign of low self esteem but they're still banging them while I'm up at 10pm responding to a 48 year old evangelical bodybuilder on an RH forum.

[RonaldMcflurry]

I mean yeah i've seen guys holler at girls and some random dude ask some girl out to eat in the store but i don't count that because they literally just hollered at them. An actual approach though, i've never seen it. I never even see men and women talk to each other since 2014-2015. I used to see it years ago but it's rare now. Everyone stays to themselves.

Hollering is cold approaching bro, what are you talking about? I have conversations with new people literally every day that I leave the house, men and women. You need to get out of the house and find some hobbies and make actual attempts.

[MBisonSon]

Have to hit on them son.

You're coming to that point where you know the girl, she assumes you're attracted to her and wants confirmation.

The conclusion is this: I think I remember you and you're a decently attractive guy.

The reality is most chick who hang out with you are trying to get in your pants (srs).

If that's not going they'll just find some other guy to be "friends" with.

So stop being a pussy, man up and make a move.

[inthox]

only read the OP

dude i duno, based on ur looks alone u should have 0 problems with girls. the only advice i could give: since u have a failry longish face dont go for the pineapple hairstyle (extreme short sides, long top) since it just adds to the lenght of ur face.

[AlamedaBoy]

only read the OP

dude i duno, based on ur looks alone u should have 0 problems with girls. the only advice i could give: since u have a failry longish face dont go for the pineapple hairstyle (extreme short sides, long top) since it just adds to the lenght of ur face.

Yeah I think that as well. I also have a biggish neck so it makes me look like earthworm jim.

[Coolman468]

Just talk to more girls op. Stop being a punk and go talk to them. When I get a lot of girls I’m also getting rejected a ton because I’m hitting on a lot of girls I deem attractive. Fck that noise, do you.

[inb4everything]

In the same boat OP. That mystical 7 range where we usually facemog all the other males in the room yet we don't get women's attention easily like an 8.5 and above.

I'll admit that my standards are very high irl. I always approach the hottest girls in the bar or at least girls guys would say are out of my range. All my online dates have been 5's and I knew in my head they were uglier.

Even if I did attract decent looking girls, American women and the way they speak just does not attract me. I plan on exiting my comfort zone and going abroad some day.

[AlamedaBoy]

**** man, least you're 25, I'm 30 next year so time is running out. Hopefully my face doesn't change too radically and when I hit 30, I'm gonna start dressing a bit older the majority of the time. I have high standards insofar as I'm selective about who I will get with but I would say I find a range of girls pretty, right now I'm crushing hard on a girl who from my perspective, I'm objectively better looking. TBH, she has a boyfriend but something tells me she likes me. She seems loyal but if my hunch is correct and if my looks are conventionally good(and not just average) I think she likes me but knows she shouldn't(she messages me randomly but doesn't really engage beyond pleasantries afterwards) I'm not gonna push it unless she brings it up because I'm not a complete *******(I feel bad for the guy I fancy her but he should be lucky I am how I am and haven't swooped because I think she would have at least kissed me)


*I'm probably reading the whole situation wrong

[iamdetermined]

^^^You'd be surprised. Not saying to be that guy but this girl I used to work with back in the day would always offer me rides and flirt with me. Find her on pof a year or so afterwards and on the date when she asked why I never made a move I said it was cause of her bf. She said she would've dated me regardless. Too bad she got fat afterwards.

Sounds like you're in a similar situation. Tbh given your dating life Id go for it if she's hot enough. I sure wish I had...

In the same boat OP. That mystical 7 range where we usually facemog all the other males in the room yet we don't get women's attention easily like an 8.5 and above.

I'll admit that my standards are very high irl. I always approach the hottest girls in the bar or at least girls guys would say are out of my range. All my online dates have been 5's and I knew in my head they were uglier.

Even if I did attract decent looking girls, American women and the way they speak just does not attract me. I plan on exiting my comfort zone and going abroad some day.

I think this is where I am too. Get a lot of looks when I'm dressed nicely but it all that goes out the window if I slip up when I speak to them. I get a lot of shots so I'm gonna just try and play the numbers game. My friend on the other hand is a 8.5+ no homo and can do no wrong.We have the same personality too. Most guys I know in relationships are average or 6s who are "safe bets"