Howdy folks,
A bit of background on me: 26m, 6'0, 250lbs. About 6 years ago I lost over 100 lbs and went from ~310lbs to 190lbs. In any regard, a few years of a bad relationship, combatting an eating disorder and overall poor choices, I gained about half back.
Today was the first day I've set foot in the gym in a long while because I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. It was the first time I've ever lifted weights.. and it felt like it. I couldn't finish all my reps/sets, my weights weren't even that heavy, and I overall just kept thinking to myself "who am I kidding?". I felt like an imposter - and it sucked. I felt ashamed I couldn't finish my workout, but I did the best I could until my arms just wouldn't do anymore (arm day).
This is what I did:
Incline Bech Dumbbell Press (6 sets)
15 Reps - 20lbs
15 Reps - 20lbs
12 Reps - 35lbs
12 Reps - 35lbs
10 Reps - 20lbs (by this time my arms already felt done)
Flat Bench Dumbbell Press
15 Reps - 15lbs
15 Reps - 15lbs
12 Reps - 20lbs
12 Reps - couldn't finish
10 Reps - couldn't finish
Flat Bench Barbbell Press
15 Reps - 55lbs
7 Reps - 55lbs
12 - couldn't finish
12 - couldn't finish
10 - couldn't finish
Machine Fly Middle Chest
9/15 Reps - 10lbs
15 - couldn't finish
12 - couldn't finish
12 - couldn't finish
10 - couldn't finish
Weighted Lift Up
8/15 Reps - 10lbs
15 - couldn't finish
12 - couldn't finish
12 - couldn't finish
10 - couldn't finish
**Ended up doing 10 situps, even this was hard.
Cardio
15 mins on bike
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So I will be the first to admit I'm out of shape. I know this. I just feel really discouraged right now and kind of feel like an "imposter". Like I'm trying to be someone I'm not? I don't know if this is a common thing people go through, or maybe its just cause it served a hefty reality check for me. I just wanna get back to a healthy weight rage and live a better life.
Any tips anyone would be willing to share to help me over come this?
Thank you all.
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Results 1 to 18 of 18
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11-13-2018, 12:28 AM #1Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Age: 32
- Posts: 29
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First Time Weight Lifting And It Was Hard.. Feeling Ashamed
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11-13-2018, 12:42 AM #2Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2016
- Posts: 6,544
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no ones gonna be good when starting off especially on their first day. Don't let it get to you.
follow a professionally written novice routine, lots in the stickies. Start with weight you can comfortably lift and stop caring about how much is on the bar as everyone starts somewhere.
Caloric deficit=weight lossTexas Method Log *https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=173755621*
Program spreadsheet **https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14MPWVNPbfmfkuoTMDaGih3pbM2-KQHZuSjcJPuwVE9c/edit?usp=sharing**
FMH Crew Little Beast
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11-13-2018, 12:55 AM #34am club
- Join Date: Mar 2013
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When I started bodybuilding I was battling an eating disorder as well OP. I lost a lot of weight, and was sick. Bodybuilding helped me get control over my life. I know some might look at that as being ironic considering bodybuilding places so much focus on food and your body which can be bad for someone with an ED but for me it helped bring me some structure and focus and I was able to overcome it. And not only did I gain the weight back that I lost, I also added about 45 pounds to what I was before I had lost all the weight because of my eating disorder.
No need to be ashamed. Your body is probably weak. It needs to heal itself, and overtime as you keep working out and eating properly you will get stronger.
It might be a good idea to seek professional help to discuss these feelings OP, if you aren't already.- Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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11-13-2018, 01:05 AM #4Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Age: 32
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Thanks for the response man, I really appreciate it. It’s been a couple years now since I’ve had a ED episode, so I’m feeling pretty confident on that end. I also have seemed medical help as well - so good there. I appreciate the watching out!Originally Posted by health4life24
What you say is probably right. I guess the shame comes from how I’ve neglected to take care of myself all these years. Do you happen to have any other advice you would be able to provide me with? Any regimens you’d recommend?
Is cardio an absolute must for losing weight? It’s all I did years ago and I really hate it lol. It’s boring. I’d 3 days of weight lifting enough? Especially if my diet is clean?
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11-13-2018, 04:05 AM #5Registered User
- Join Date: Oct 2017
- Location: Auckland, New Zealand
- Posts: 1,309
- Rep Power: 16409
Think of it this way man, you can define this as shame or you can define this as reality hitting you and you deciding to make a change. Take it in the positive light. Most of us didn't start off amazingly well.I started lifting when I weighed 99lbs at 6ft height ,bones and ribs poking out everywhere, deadlifting an ez curl bar. We all start somewhere.Originally Posted by CoryARamirez
To answer your questions, get on something properly written from the stickies (All pros is a good option to pair along with losing weight).
Cardio is not a must, but it does aid you to get closer to a caloric deficit. It also has it's health benefits so I might keep it in there just for a little while longer but by no means is it necessary to losing weight. Yes 3 days, full body will do you wonders. As for diet, eating 'clean' foods isn't going to matter as much as whether you're in a caloric deficit or not.Some regular lifting posts (IG) - @rsid_97
My Growth Stimulus Training journal - https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=175699161
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11-13-2018, 05:53 AM #6WOATbrah of peace :)
- Join Date: Feb 2015
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Posts: 33,528
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best way is probably to follow a structured novice program, i.e fierce 5 from the stickies, check out the nutrition section for info on how to lose weight for your goals. Ofc your first time in the gym you are going to feel tired but at the same time you literally did four exercises for chest and probably close to near failure. So you are just doubling down on whatever fatigue you are feeling initially by doing that.
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11-13-2018, 06:01 AM #7Yells at clouds
- Join Date: Jun 2018
- Posts: 6,411
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You should never feel bad for improving yourself. If it were "easy", everyone would do it.
64
Old, but not obsolete.
Geezer Crew
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11-13-2018, 06:08 AM #8Crawling back under rock
- Join Date: Jun 2017
- Posts: 7,449
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Sounds like you have a lot of lessons to learn here (sorry)
1) You felt like an imposter? That's like saying sick people have no business at the doctor's office.
Whether you belong there depends on your attitude to improve.. you have that desire to improve yourself, so you probably belong more than half the people already there.
(On a related subject: people don't care about other gym goers anyway, so don't entertain any thoughts of anyone wondering why you are there. Most gym goers are too busy staring at themselves in mirrors while doing curls to notice you, and the ones who don't stare in the mirrors all the time probably understand and are pleased you are there)
2) You did way way WAY too much in your first session. To get stronger you need to gradually, ever so slowly, increase on what you are used to doing, to drive your body forwards. Only do a tiny bit more than the previous time. In your first session the previous time was nothing at all. So in the very first session you need to do a tiny bit more than nothing at all
but you did way more than that. Don't kill yourself, start from zero and slowly increase it inch by inch.
3) Pace yourself for a marathon, this is the long haul. Don't go nuts and try to sprint the first mile.
4) Start a program. This is more than just a routine on which days, it's where to start, how to progress, what to do if you fail or have a bad day, or miss a week etc. See what the others above are saying about stickies (the fixed articles at the top of each section)
Keep reading this site, there are people who have started off worse than you and made amazing turnarounds. Many inspirational stories of people who have achieved. And if they can...
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11-13-2018, 07:02 AM #9
There's a lesson here. This is hard. It will always be hard. If it isn't hard, you need to make it hard. The people who stay with this understand and accept that fact.
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11-13-2018, 07:37 AM #10No help for this one....
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Location: Michigan, United States
- Age: 60
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We all start somewhere...even if it's the 6th time starting...like myself. You have to start back with the basics...and that begins with a well written novice program...
My Log - https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170367151&page=50
"Muff divers local #69.....no muff too tough....we dive at five"
Fierce 5 Programs ->https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=1266579671#post1266579671
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11-13-2018, 07:44 AM #11temporary illusion
- Join Date: Mar 2014
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Congratulations for starting to lift weights. Get on a good beginner program and stick to it. Consistency is king. Walk on your off days and do not eat junk food.Originally Posted by CoryARamirez
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11-13-2018, 08:05 AM #12Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2017
- Age: 41
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You decided to unfuk your situation and I applaud that. Find a proven program that will give you guidance instead of trying to wing it.
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11-13-2018, 03:06 PM #13Registered User
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Age: 52
- Posts: 11,144
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Quit being a drama queen and lift.
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11-13-2018, 03:15 PM #14Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2017
- Location: United States
- Age: 22
- Posts: 53
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You've already done way more than what most people have, you started. You went in and worked your ass off and pushed yourself until your arms felt dead, thats good work. You got the fire to actually make a change and that doesn't make you an impostor, that makes you right where you need to be, making a change. Good for you man, and best of luck.Originally Posted by CoryARamirez
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11-13-2018, 03:29 PM #15
Get on a real program, you way over did it. Your body isn't conditioned to do that many reps. Don't be discouraged when you can't lift your arms for a week. You just started to high.
This game is a marathon and the tortoise wins every time.
That being said feeling bad for yourself doesn't help. Pick yourself up and use that testicular fortitude.
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11-13-2018, 10:07 PM #16Banned
- Join Date: Jan 2011
- Age: 33
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Nobody in the gym cares how much you are lifting. Just focus on yourself and find a well written program. Stick with it and you can potentially transform your body in a year. Good luck.
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11-13-2018, 10:33 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2018
- Age: 54
- Posts: 44
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It's understandable to feel like that. I was self conscious when I started back but it lasted like a week and I was comfortable again. For me it was starting ba k after several years and I thought I could just walk in there and pick up where I left off from. Stupid, I know but that was my mindset. I quickly realized after my first workout that I have to build back up. The weight to your lifts will come in time.
After one week your confidence will grow. You'll feel much better about yourself and your mental game will have you wanting to get back in to the gym.
Just dont quit. Stick with it and make it a routine. You'll realize quick that the only person in there that cares how "little" you can do is you. Just remember this is about your health. That's what I kept reminding myself of.
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11-14-2018, 09:04 AM #18
No shame in that!
The first week or 2 always suck. You'll get back on the groove of things in no time.
but you did way more than that. Don't kill yourself, start from zero and slowly increase it inch by inch.
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