How should I have handled this better misc (srs)

[US_Ranger]

Good for you kiddo

You know how my man deals with me when I cross the line? He raises an eyebrow and says nothing ...ayyy lmao

Just turn the attention off

Or, you know, you could just not cross the line like an adult...

[US_Ranger]

Let me get this straight though:

-She tells you about her ex flirting with her, DREAMING about her, etc

-She gets jealous if you talk about other women



LMAO. JUST LMAO.

I had an ex like this. Jealous any time another woman talked to me, said it was rude behavior to even talk to them, etc. She cheated on me. Funny how that works.

[MadNinjaSkills]

You’ve already expressed how it makes you feel and she clearly doesn’t respect you or your relationship. She sounds immature at best and sounds like she needs validation from other men. If she thinks it’s ok, where does the line in the sand get drawn?


-“lol it’s just a dink pic, don’t be so insecure and jealous.”
-“lol it’s just a date, don’t be so insecure and jealous.”
-“lol it’s just a French kiss from Daquan, don’t be so insecure and jealous.”
-“lol it’s just Jamal’s dink in my who-ha, don’t be so insecure and jealous.”

[redraider86]

I'm thinking I should've just played it off like "hah what a loser. too bad for him imma feel your warmth at night baby"

Except that isn't at all what you were thinking and feeling, and nothing about that response tells a person you are deserving of respect.

Are you okay or are you not okay with her talking to her ex, flirting, and then telling you about it? Address that.

You say you've already told her you don't tolerate that chit, but clearly you do.

[Bwallace189]

I remember when I had a long distance GF and had a bunch of dude friends that were thirsty for her. She also "didnt flirt back" but was nice to them because she didn't want to seem mean. She also said I had trust issues when calling her on her ****. That's called gas lighting and its a bull**** technique. This will not end well.

[Trem24]

I would've just laughed, and in the back of my mind I would be thinking about getting out. Chicks that continue to talk to their exes are garbage.

[DatFeelGuy]

Except that isn't at all what you were thinking and feeling, and nothing about that response tells a person you are deserving of respect.

Are you okay or are you not okay with her talking to her ex, flirting, and then telling you about it? Address that.

You say you've already told her you don't tolerate that chit, but clearly you do.

This is good advice. Take it. If she doesn't respect how you're feeling about it, it's going to show again in the future.

[katya422]

I could be completely off base here, but you have said everything else is good and you are long distance right now.

Likely she isn't feeling secure in the relationship, maybe because of the distance and lack of one on one time.

You could try just telling her that directly...call her on it...

"I know being long distance is hard especially with a new relationship.

I think you keep mentioning interest you are receiving from other men because you don't feel secure or you aren't getting what you need from our relationship. But I am not okay with your staying in communication with other potential boyfriends because you feel like you need a backup plan or you want to test my interest.

You can either block these people and shut down their advances or we can call it quits and you can go chase down your plan B."

Ball is in her court then.

[Uhyeahokay]

1.Her laughter, joking, or making light of it, is a coping mechanism. By laughing she's taking the edge off, and making it ok in her mind.

2. you don't see a problem with the patterns she's created? These are nothing more than "Break in case of emergency" dinks. Don't text/call her for a couple of days, and see what happens.

3. Strong deflection...Your girlfriend is a narcissist.

4. She doesn't want to seem like a bitch to them, but she's more than okay with being one to you? That should tell you everything about where you fall in the pecking order.


This type of mindset, coupled with the long distance aspect is a 5 star recipe for disaster. I don't care how attractive she is, it's just not worth the headache.

You have your answer op

[EdwardTheGreat]

When this relationship ends, this will be one of many signs that you will think back on and say "fukk, I should have known right then and there..."

How much of yourself you want to invest into this inevitable fail from this point forward is up to you.

[Coal Man]

Brushing it under the rug this time is ok, but I'd make it clear to her you're not ok with it. If she continues doing it, it shows she doesn't respect you or your feelings and you should peace out.

This. We teens now? She's being dumb, let her know it firmly... Do not whine about it. The only way a girl like this will respect you is if she's fully aware that you have the gonads to drop her ass and move on if you've had enough.

[Coal Man]

I have zero tolerance for that sort of behavior. She shouldn't be in that situation unless she presents herself or has a semi open door. Clearly there is a lack of respect. To be honest if she's see it as no big deal @ that age I don't think you can change her. Her justifying this by saying she isn't reincorporating is a huge red flag not worth gambling with your time.

And this. /thread

[EnforcerOTF]

Cheat first before you get cheated on

[salamisalem]

Ho Lee Fuk. I had no idea this thread was still going.

Update: I took a miscer's advice and sort of brushed it under the rug for now, and was just super firm/callous with her when we were FaceTiming to study. On her own she mentioned she might have been "out of line" and is now constantly being sweet and texting me how horny she is for me. lmao. Was almost certainly chit testing me I'm thinking.

I could be completely off base here, but you have said everything else is good and you are long distance right now.

Likely she isn't feeling secure in the relationship, maybe because of the distance and lack of one on one time.

You could try just telling her that directly...call her on it...

"I know being long distance is hard especially with a new relationship.

I think you keep mentioning interest you are receiving from other men because you don't feel secure or you aren't getting what you need from our relationship. But I am not okay with your staying in communication with other potential boyfriends because you feel like you need a backup plan or you want to test my interest.

You can either block these people and shut down their advances or we can call it quits and you can go chase down your plan B."

Ball is in her court then.

This is exactly what I think I'll do in a few days. I thought about it, and she never ONCE behaved like this when we were together in the same place. She's very much in line when we're together, and is pretty submissive. Even now she's back to being really submissive. She's in general a really insecure person and I'm pretty accomplished/aesthetic tbh so I think you're spot on. Her fukking 22 year old mind just goes ape chit from time to time as she tries to fuk with me

You're getting played like a fiddle. Sloots do this all the time.

She's trying to trigger a beta response in you by telling you these things to make you feel insecure. Basically, "Other suitors are still after me and they still flirt with me". The more insecure your reaction, the more dominant it makes her feel.

You crying and raging at the whole thing is the completely wrong response. The best way to handle this slooty behaviour is to act indifferent as fuk.

Sloot: "My ex is still flirting with me blah blah, said he nutted in my angus in his dream"
OP: "Ok......What are we having for dinner?"

She mentions it again a few weeks later

Sloot: "My ex is still flirting with me blah blah, said he nutted in my angus in his dream"
OP: "You guys should seriously consider hooking up........Did i tell you Bob's cat died?"

An emotionless,stoic composure is vital when replying to her horse sh!t

that's fukking hilarious. will do. and will rep off r/c

Absolutely to this. Also as someone else mentioned, if she was shutting them down, they wouldn't continue to flirt with her so she must be doing something to encourage it.

yeah that's absolutely a great point. dumb slut.

don't dump her. do what Patrice O'neal would do.

Keep her but downgrade the relationship in your mind. She is now your ****buddy, nothing more.

this sort of happened automatically when she acted the way she acted. feel less invested, and looking forward to her visiting me on Halloween for some angry secs. if she fixes her chit, maybe I'll upgrade her back to how I used to value her. That being said, I still refuse to act in a manner without dignity and imitate any of her bullchit, flirting or otherwise.

yea, i just know chicks that do this.. that don't necessarily cheat or anything like that. or that they have done this

just looking for attention

but it is a hassle

yeah that's what I'm thinking at this point judging by her quick 180

This. We teens now? She's being dumb, let her know it firmly... Do not whine about it. The only way a girl like this will respect you is if she's fully aware that you have the gonads to drop her ass and move on if you've had enough.

oh dam a Misc legend. Yeah bruh you're right in the past I'm very fond of her so I guess she knows I don't want to call it quits. Starting to be more firm with her. Some chicks need to be kept in line, and ya'll are all correct. Thanks

Cheat first before you get cheated on

what a peasant mindset. This is never okay you fuk

[Ratfish]

Cheat first before you get cheated on

it's not clean and nobody wants to admit it, but a doctrine of preemption is the only possible way to fort knox your jimmies srs

[Eggiesinabasket]

I think the bottom line is if she had any respect for you and the relationship, she would shut down any guys' attempt of getting with her

She obviously knows theyre interested but enjoys the attention. She also refuses to acknowledge her responsibility to turn down any suitors because she's choosing herself (and receiving that attention) over you and your relationship.

She wants her cake and eat it too. You can't change that about her as a person because clearly she doesn't want to

All you can do now is control how you react to this situation

1. You want to change how you react and play it off cool. I don't agree with this because it compromises on what you find comfortable--and by all means wanting your partner to shut down advances is entirely reasonable.

2. You can choose to not be with someone like this and leave.
Is she really what you wanted in a relationship?
Is she someone you can trust?
Is she worth this bullchit?
Lastly, how much respect do you have for yourself to tolerate that bullchit?

I mean come on, she's acting like she's single with her guy friends by entertaining their flirts--the guys don't respect you because they don't give f. if she's not single anymore (your not in their way as her boyfriend) and being passive is still an action in her case because she's allowing it.

[devin45k]

Bruh, she is monkey branching with her exes.

[redraider86]

This is good advice. Take it. If she doesn't respect how you're feeling about it, it's going to show again in the future.

Not to complete infantilize OP's girlfriend, but sometimes it helps to think about people + their issues like kids. If you tell a child to stop a negative behavior and they ignore you and continue, and then on the fifth time you snap, you've just taught your child it takes five times before a parent puts a stop to nonsense.

[HahaRaptor]

1.Her laughter, joking, or making light of it, is a coping mechanism. By laughing she's taking the edge off, and making it ok in her mind.

2. you don't see a problem with the patterns she's created? These are nothing more than "Break in case of emergency" dinks. Don't text/call her for a couple of days, and see what happens.

3. Strong deflection...Your girlfriend is a narcissist.

4. She doesn't want to seem like a bitch to them, but she's more than okay with being one to you? That should tell you everything about where you fall in the pecking order.


This type of mindset, coupled with the long distance aspect is a 5 star recipe for disaster. I don't care how attractive she is, it's just not worth the headache.

This OP srs

[MyBaddBrah]

Every time she does this, move your attention elsewhere. The key to this is to not do it in a butthurt way.

Examples: “You’re a ***got” “you’re gay” “you’re horrible” “you’re lame” “you’re the worst” “why are you so bad?”

Slowly draw your attention elsewhere. Ease into it. Don’t make it seem like you’re a gay drama queen. Perfect opportunity to watch some football, play some playstation, do some reading, go get some food, etc.

[Ratfish]

this feels like a troll thread, but here's some old man advice that you youngling *******s need to understand: it's BRUTAL to date a chick if you barely meet her minimum system requirements. ever play a vidya game where your pc hardware barely meets the reqs? fukken BULLCHIT. yes, you're technically playing the game (technically fukken the sloot) but it's not smooth or fun at all.

if she's not just shy of obsessed with you, you may as well pack up the truck and find someone who is. the chick who actually really wants you is out there, and she doesn't necessarily look like a sewer hog.

you'll fukken KNOW when you've found this chick. no second-guessing, no effort at all. the whole thing is on autopilot. you meet her and pretty much every day after that you're hanging out. no fukken text games, no communicating with exes, no bullchit at all. if you have to work for it, bicker with her over chit or anything that isn't an obvious enhancement of your life prior to the relationship, it's a fukken WASTE. better off jerking off instead by far.

did you form a partnership with an awesome gal or are you wading through a river of pigchit so you can get some hole? have some self-fukken-respect, gents

[EnforcerOTF]

what a peasant mindset. This is never okay you fuk

looooooooooooooooooooool

im sure shes saying that as her ex bf is pounding her in the ASS while shes texting you "stkuc @ wrk bbe"

[Ratfish]

looooooooooooooooooooool

im sure shes saying that as her ex bf is pounding her in the ASS while shes texting you "stkuc @ wrk bbe"

straighten out that quote, soldier.

[ScottsdaleDream]

show gf and let misc decide if she's worth it....

sounds like a hoe 4 sho, or an immature girl.

Most girls don't give dudes the time of day (even while single) soooooo

[GnarlySheen]

Not gonna read this whole fkn thread but based of what you said in the OP, I'd drop her until she shows a little more respect for you. Allowing an ex to flirt with her and her "being friendly and not wanting to seem like a bitch" isnt acceptable.

[poolshark472]

this particular breed of female always cheats. just a matter of time.

[MiscInformed]

Not reading whole thread, but...

If she was hiding her phone from you and you discovered these texts, that would be one thing.

However, you're not looking and she's the one bringing it up to you. That means something different. She's chit testing you. You need to find the right answer to this chit test that doesn't lower your value in her eyes. Getting jealous is not the answer, even if that's her actual goal.

You need a response that shows you to be an adult that is unrustled, although somewhat disappointed in her, so that she'll realize she is playing a childish game and stop.

Also, let her know that nothing good comes from flirting with other men while she's in a relationship.

[MuzzieChik786]

Start joking with her about your ex's flirting with you and see how she responds.

Her behavior is immature/childish.

This. Do it and report back.

[skinnyfat88]

If someone keeps in contact with her and is respectful then fine but once they cross the line her response back shouldn't be carefree and friendly in tone.

Either tell them they're being inappropriate.
Don't respond to that message whatsoever.
Or be cold. "K."

[MeFromG]

Gf jokes about ex flirting with her via text (says he was dreaming about her and she left her jacket and it was warm). This isn't the first time she let's dudes esp exes continue to flirt with her

I get mad and tell her I don't tolerate that sht and to tell them not to pull that.

She gets mad and says she doesn't flirt back I'm being jealous etc and they're being friendly and she doesn't want to seem like a bitch. Wtf misc. I'm thinking I should've just played it off like "hah what a loser. too bad for him imma feel your warmth at night baby"

She is likely provoking you, wants a reaction from you, maybe some jealousy, attention etc.

But through her provokations she is just massively risking / tearing down your rs in reality by unnecessarily straining the peace in your rs.

Tell her all this. And then ask her whether she is missing something (e.g. maybe attention, more of your time? More love?) in your rs.