How should I have handled this better misc (srs)

[JustMoved24]

**** her one last time shoot down her throat and block her number and never see or speak to her again. You won’t listen misc and will regret it most likely after wasting another 6 months to a year.

Good luck cheers

[cookiefiend]

Tell her "I know we've talked about this before, and you didn't see where I was coming from. How would you feel if I told you chicks were flirting with me? The issue is I told you I'm not comfortable with it, and you didn't respect that. I'm not a jealous guy - talking about your ex flirting with you is just disrespectful, let alone allowing it in the first place. Honestly, if you don't want to understand where I'm coming from, I think this kinda thing is going to be a big problem, which is really disappointing considering how great everything else has been with us"

Remember man, you gotta set the rules. It's always easier to just let things slide and say fuk it, can't be fukt arguing about it, no big deal, but these things escalate. Doesn't matter if she's hot and you have good sex and have fun together, if she doesn't respect you and try to understand you, you're not going to be happy with her.

I like this

[ejWU21]

Ho Lee Fuk. I had no idea this thread was still going.

Update: I took a miscer's advice and sort of brushed it under the rug for now, and was just super firm/callous with her when we were FaceTiming to study. On her own she mentioned she might have been "out of line" and is now constantly being sweet and texting me how horny she is for me. lmao. Was almost certainly chit testing me I'm thinking.

LOL "on her own" means she knew the whole time that this is a crap thing to do since you didnt have to come out and say anything.....Let me tell you how this ends: She does it again and now just doesnt tell you (I, and countless of my friends, have been there)

You're going to look at your little "i showed her by being firm and callous" type quote up there and facepalm later. Her behavior is like how a child acts when their parents are mad at them. Also, doesnt look like she said she'd stop either. She should already be constantly sweet and all that stuff, she's a long distance gf FFS. BUt LOL at constantly.......its been like what a cpl days since the incident? Just know that when she goes back to her "normal"....she most likely will be back to her old crap.

Secondly, is this the type of experience you want? Having to "act" a certain way to get her to do something that's quite frankly one of the bare minimums of respecting a S.O? You can't even be yourself enough to directly tell her this crap is unacceptable? LOL at sweeping it under the rug and then just acting hard towards her to make her know something is wrong. Reminds me of how girls say "everything's fine" then act like a b**** to you until you hopefully realize why they are mad.

Doenst look like youl follow much advice in here, but i'll ask it one more time........Do you want to date someone who you have to convince to not text her exes/orbiters when you can find someone who likes you enough that she doesnt want to do those things? And even if you really believe/think it was "just a chit test"......do you really want to deal with this chit?

[Buchy]

There is no such thing as a long distance relationship, it's a fallacy that is far more detrimental to men than women.

You have all the obligations and responsibility with none of the benefits, this is what your girl is experiencing and seeing. Her options will always be easier to explore and far more available than your own; in effect she has to resist exploring those opportunities while you have to put in work and effort just to develop a single opportunity.

In short you are right to downgrade her importance in your mind. She is young and immature by her behaviour and unfortunately it seems that the circumstances and pattern is there for potential problems.

[facialize]

Mmmm, I don't agree with that. An LDR can work fine if (i) there's total trust, and (ii) there's a plan to live together one day. They work really well during stressful times in your life when you just can't give a relationship 100 percent attention in person.

At the first and I mean first sign of cheating though, you gotta take your kickball and leave the playground

There is no such thing as a long distance relationship, it's a fallacy that is far more detrimental to men than women.

You have all the obligations and responsibility with none of the benefits, this is what your girl is experiencing and seeing. Her options will always be easier to explore and far more available than your own; in effect she has to resist exploring those opportunities while you have to put in work and effort just to develop a single opportunity.

In short you are right to downgrade her importance in your mind. She is young and immature by her behaviour and unfortunately it seems that the circumstances and pattern is there for potential problems.

[CrimsonSteel]

fuk you're so right. dammit. I should mention it's long distance right now bc I had to go finish school so it's harder. usually in person I just shut her down anytime she says anything stupid just with my presence or my confidence or whatever. much harder over the fukking phone

Break up with her. Even if she isn't taking other cock it's definitely crossing her mind now that you've called her on her bull**** of stringing dudes along. LDR? Never works. Girl is always gonna be surrounded by a hot dog buffet while you sit around wondering if she's dining or not.

[Luc1fer]

its just childish ****. She’s trying to make you jealous. I doubt she likes her exes or else she wouldn’t be telling you about the texts. Figure out what you want to tolerate in a relationship and stand firm, you don’t have to put up with ****.

Never thought I'd agree with Michelle, but I do think this is probably closer to the truth.

It's a problem no-matter how you look at it though. Either:
1. She's legitimately flirting with him.
2. She's just entertaining his flirting, which is wildly inappropriate and she should either block him or make that clear.
3. She's invoking jealousy in you for attention and/or drama.

I think it's probably mostly (3) because she told you to invoke the jealousy.

This behavior won't stop, this is a manipulative technique, that exposes manipulative personality tendencies. Now she's gonna get the drama she craves too.

[MeFromG]

Mmmm, I don't agree with that. An LDR can work fine if (i) there's total trust, and (ii) there's a plan to live together one day. They work really well during stressful times in your life when you just can't give a relationship 100 percent attention in person...

Exactly.

OP, she provoking you is just a symptome. Try to find out what is the source though (if you want to solve the real problem at hand - and not just brushing it under the carpet while it grows and keeps existing, becoming increasingly explosive). Ask her what is she missing in your rs or what is she not satisfied with.

[EnforcerOTF]

straighten out that quote, soldier.

how did that even happen!?!

[Konrai]

Exactly.

OP, she provoking you is just a symptome. Try to find out what is the source though (if you want to solve the real problem at hand - and not just brushing it under the carpet while it grows and keeps existing, becoming increasingly explosive). Ask her what is she missing in your rs or what is she not satisfied with.

I doubt anything is 'missing' in their relationship per say. Some people especially women(statistically), just thrive on the idea of being wanted. If anything I would guess she has no real ill intentions, but is just enjoying the emotional high a the expense of her partners boundaries. Also seeing as the relationship is still young, this is usually around the time this type of behavior is most rampant.

Only thing you can really do OP is make it extremely clear where you stand and what you will and will not tolerate. If she is serious about you, she will drop these people all together or stop talking to them period. If she does not or she simply hides them from you, then that should be a major red flag that either she is keeping her options open or she really doesn't care about you that much. If it were me, that would be ground for a split as I don't believe any woman is worth sacrificing your self respect for especially when you can find one that will respect you.