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  1. #1
    HouseOfSWORD sword_'s Avatar
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    Y'all ever ask females what's up that you dated a few times?

    A (female) friend and I were talking about dating and when people get cold/distant on you. She says its been helpful to ask the other person when this happens what happens or why?

    An example of say you went on a date with a girl you were interested in. I've had it where a woman I knew from a years back would pop back up. She would talk to me a bit then we had a 'date' whether a lunch or something. Pretty standard then BOOM thereafter things were very slow and got cold. No explanation.

    More recently a woman I met at the gym that is very communicative with me and she got borderline sexual (joked about my stuff was popping through my pants) and I reciprocated without being overly sexual but still showing I have a pulse. We ended up having dinner and a drink. Things seemed to go well and now all of a sudden she is colder. She would text me a few times and it is perplexing me that I did something 'wrong'.

    Part of me wants to ask in these situations why to clear up any confusion and maybe like my friend mentioned it may allow me some insight into myself as a person, but really would it provide me anything useful feedback for me? That's the conundrum there. Thoughts?
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  2. #2
    Nah mean, jelly bean? FU3L's Avatar
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    No. You're unlikely to get the real reason and you come off as weird for asking in the first place.
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    Registered User Nedo's Avatar
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    Black Chad ain't got time fo low interest women, next please

    Something is happening on these dates brah and its more often than not personality related.

    How did the date go? Did you have fun with her and make her laugh? Poke at her?
    Last edited by Nedo; 08-01-2018 at 10:05 AM.
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  4. #4
    HouseOfSWORD sword_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FU3L View Post
    No. You're unlikely to get the real reason and you come off as weird for asking in the first place.
    Ha yeah maybe.

    Originally Posted by Nedo View Post
    Black Chad ain't got time fo low interest women, next please

    Something is happening on these dates brah and its more often than not personality related.

    How did the date go? Did you have fun with her and make her laugh? Poke at her?
    The one I mentioned that came back a few months ago I think I realized why - the girl was a single mom, very attractive BTW, but she was a SUPER holy roller. Non-denominational Christian rah rah. I was raised Catholic and I know my belief system has shifted more towards Deism the older I get. She ended up dating a guy that looks just like me but shorter lol.

    This more recent date on Sunday I had fun with her but she was somewhat sexual over text so I transferred that in person. I wasn't too pushy though. I was sexual but I wasn't invasive by any means. I even touched her. She didn't want to kiss me but wanted to get to know me. BTW older woman so she's been there done that with 'games' or whatever and wants something more serious. We had fun, laughed, had good food. I touched her a bit by massaging her and took her to new spots she didn't know about.

    Nothing I did wrong but it could have been personality differences. Prior to that we talked and she said how confident I was walking up to her and talking to her at the gym and we texted a bit :shrug: I think this woman thinks I'm a player though TBH.


    And this can vary. Of course I can date a girl and there's mutual lack of chemistry or I feel no chemistry and they do. I went on a date with a girl on Saturday and she followed up with me how she had a LOVELY time with me and I thought it was okay as I wasn't as interested. It's really random ha.
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  5. #5
    Registered User EBarbz's Avatar
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    there probably not going to give you the truth, to make them seem not like a betch or hurt your feelings
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  6. #6
    HouseOfSWORD sword_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by EBarbz View Post
    there probably not going to give you the truth, to make them seem not like a betch or hurt your feelings
    Yeah probably.

    @Nedo with the kissing thing I was giving her a hard time but very PLAYFUL. She would try and kiss my cheek and I would turn towards her for my lips. I didn't force anything or be awkward, uncomfortable, or pouty about it either. Just FYI. She thought it was funny.
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  7. #7
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    Low value behaviour.

    The very fact that you would message her indicates that you don't have enough options. Girls KNOW when they've gone cold and always do it on purpose. For you to pop up and ask her what happened just kills any respect she had for you.

    As for the girl you met at the gym, you gave the impression of a provider which is why she lost interest. Why in god's name would you take a woman out to dinner when she was making sexual jokes? She wanted to bang and you took her out to dinner.
    Come on man.
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  8. #8
    HouseOfSWORD sword_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jesiza View Post
    Low value behaviour.

    The very fact that you would message her indicates that you don't have enough options. Girls KNOW when they've gone cold and always do it on purpose. For you to pop up and ask her what happened just kills any respect she had for you.

    As for the girl you met at the gym, you gave the impression of a provider which is why she lost interest. Why in god's name would you take a woman out to dinner when she was making sexual jokes? She wanted to bang and you took her out to dinner.
    Come on man.
    Yeah I didn't ask and will pull back more.

    It wasn't "dinner" but we planned to meet up for a late lunch because she was working that day and said she was going to be hungry that time. The place was within a few miles of my place so I was thinking hey we can go back to my place later. It has worked for me in the past.

    I could have ****ed it up though : shrug: so I'll pull back. I was sexual during our meet up though
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  9. #9
    [M]onkey khergan's Avatar
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    Going cold or ghosting is the way women act to get rid of you when they either don't like you or decided they're incompatible with you.

    A very small % will tell you to your face that the date sucked, or the sex was bad, or that they just weren't into you. The vast majority will do it passively so as to avoid confrontation or unpleasantness. I don't honestly blame women because a lot of guys get so ridiculously aggro when things don't go their way in dating. It's okay for things to not go well, that's the whole point of dating, to find whether you're compatible with someone mentally, physically and whatever else.
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  10. #10
    HouseOfSWORD sword_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by khergan View Post
    Going cold or ghosting is the way women act to get rid of you when they either don't like you or decided they're incompatible with you.

    A very small % will tell you to your face that the date sucked, or the sex was bad, or that they just weren't into you. The vast majority will do it passively so as to avoid confrontation or unpleasantness. I don't honestly blame women because a lot of guys get so ridiculously aggro when things don't go their way in dating. It's okay for things to not go well, that's the whole point of dating, to find whether you're compatible with someone mentally, physically and whatever else.
    Yeah I don't like it but many men DO incessantly ask why why why, take it personal, or insult them, etc. Many women who have been upfront have told me and I respected it and moved forward.

    BTW this isn't a woe is me thing just trying to get a deeper understanding of certain things to improve on as a man if any in that direction. I still get a good bit of second, third dates, sex, etc but it's still a game you participate in with incomplete information.
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    Yeah I don't like it but many men DO incessantly ask why why why, take it personal, or insult them, etc. Many women who have been upfront have told me and I respected it and moved forward.

    BTW this isn't a woe is me thing just trying to get a deeper understanding of certain things to improve on as a man if any in that direction. I still get a good bit of second, third dates, sex, etc but it's still a game you participate in with incomplete information.
    Definitely man, agreed on all points. Honestly, I wish I had gotten better with communicating with my wife before my marriage went south. You can never have too much information when it comes to this stuff... women tend to bottle up all the little complaints that they have about you. We don't do ourselves any favors as guys by the way we react to criticism sometimes, and that doesn't help things in the long run.

    I've asked women after they've ghosted and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If you simply follow up on them ghosting/going cold without being mad, acknowledging that it's okay they're moving on, and ask what it was that didn't click, they may respond. Oftentimes it's a good way to find out things about yourself that you don't even realize. I've discovered some chitty traits about myself like that, and while it wasn't fun, it helped me grow.
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    Originally Posted by FU3L View Post
    No. You're unlikely to get the real reason and you come off as weird for asking in the first place.
    This

    Imo it's inappropriate to ask for a reason why someone rejects you. Generally it's just because they are not sufficiently attracted to you or because there is someone else they are more attracted to.

    Likewise I think it's inappropriate to insist on a formal rejection or some type of closure in a casual dating situation. If you go out once or twice and someone goes cold or ghosts, just take it as a clear nonverbal communication that they are not interested. No need to insist on any other communication.
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    Registered User Nedo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    Yeah I don't like it but many men DO incessantly ask why why why, take it personal, or insult them, etc. Many women who have been upfront have told me and I respected it and moved forward.
    It's better not to know why man. Your ego does not take a blow that way and you aren't self conscious about chit. Be arrogant in your own mind and just perceive it as her loss. Especially in your case where you are extremely high value. I'm legit rather surprised more women ain't trying to lock you down. Chad, good career, fit AF, good values, wtf else could you ask for.

    Next time a woman starts getting "dutty" play hard to get; "maybe if you play your cards right", "you need to treat me right first", "whoa, whoa hold it dinner and a movie first please", "I don't just get down, OKAY", etc. In a very joking tone you are basically rejecting her, right. This shows her you ain't thirsty and are a gentlemen who likes to have fun. Aaaaaaand she is attacking you . So keep the dutty talk limited (until after you get down), instead just escalate when you start kissing. No need to talk about it. I don't believe you need lessons on escalating?
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    Pointless. You'll never get the real answer.
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    Originally Posted by Nedo View Post
    It's better not to know why man. Your ego does not take a blow that way and you aren't self conscious about chit. Be arrogant in your own mind and just perceive it as her loss. Especially in your case where you are extremely high value. I'm legit rather surprised more women ain't trying to lock you down. Chad, good career, fit AF, good values, wtf else could you ask for.

    Next time a woman starts getting "dutty" play hard to get; "maybe if you play your cards right", "you need to treat me right first", "whoa, whoa hold it dinner and a movie first please", "I don't just get down, OKAY", etc. In a very joking tone you are basically rejecting her, right. This shows her you ain't thirsty and are a gentlemen who likes to have fun. Aaaaaaand she is attacking you . So keep the dutty talk limited (until after you get down), instead just escalate when you start kissing. No need to talk about it. I don't believe you need lessons on escalating?
    It could be just a numbers game really I've realized. The thing is with me I've been talking to this in a men's development groups I go to is I can find girls that are interested in me, but the ones I want more it's a bit harder. It is a wall in my game.

    The woman that was getting dirty I definitely told her to save some when she saw me and I didn't entertain it too much. I was more coy than anything. I think I played it 'right' but who knows WTF is going on with them.

    As far as me maybe I pursuit the wrong women or something? IDK. Maybe race is a factor? Age? I really can't get too down on things other than to try because I can name four women that have told me that they liked me and want a date with me a first or second time and I've brushed them off.

    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    This

    Imo it's inappropriate to ask for a reason why someone rejects you. Generally it's just because they are not sufficiently attracted to you or because there is someone else they are more attracted to.

    Likewise I think it's inappropriate to insist on a formal rejection or some type of closure in a casual dating situation. If you go out once or twice and someone goes cold or ghosts, just take it as a clear nonverbal communication that they are not interested. No need to insist on any other communication.
    If someone gives you mixed signals or something that's what I mean. I have rejected women when I don't have other options or maybe an incompatibility thing. I'll probably bump into her again and just play it cool.

    Originally Posted by khergan View Post
    Definitely man, agreed on all points. Honestly, I wish I had gotten better with communicating with my wife before my marriage went south. You can never have too much information when it comes to this stuff... women tend to bottle up all the little complaints that they have about you. We don't do ourselves any favors as guys by the way we react to criticism sometimes, and that doesn't help things in the long run.

    I've asked women after they've ghosted and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If you simply follow up on them ghosting/going cold without being mad, acknowledging that it's okay they're moving on, and ask what it was that didn't click, they may respond. Oftentimes it's a good way to find out things about yourself that you don't even realize. I've discovered some chitty traits about myself like that, and while it wasn't fun, it helped me grow.
    Agreed there.
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    Originally Posted by AdikinBawls View Post
    Pointless. You'll never get the real answer.
    I wholeheartedly agree with this. I can't even call it "seeing", but there's this 46 year old that I've been friends with for the last 9 years. We like each other, the sexual energy is there, never smashed even though we've talked about it.....it's just a slow process per se'. We'll go out to lunch, text and talk on the phone and she asked me, "Why is this all we do? We get started, then we fizzle out.....I want more." So I'm like, "Me too...I feel you. This is a 50-50 thing, so we're both going to have to put in the effort."

    Two and a half weeks ago, we're at lunch, she's talking about seeing a movie and I told her, "I'm down...let me know when." That Saturday, nothing. No call, no text....nada. I'm not about to chase you on something that was your invite, so I went about my day. Never called her after that because it was you that went cold. Sunday goes by, nothing. Still didn't call. Monday, she hits me with the "Hey U" text. I responded back and told her, "You on that bullsh**....you hit me with the shwamboozie", to which she replied, "What?" and I proceed to go into how it was her idea, no call, this this and the third. She said "Something came up" and she was sorry. I took her at her word. We go to lunch a few days later, she's obviously still not remembering what she told me, she drops the bomb that she went to see the movie that she and I were supposed to see. I said and acted like nothing and kept eating.

    Later that day, I texted her and asked her about the movie and why she stood me up. I just told her to be straight with me. She told me her friend was lonely and going through some stuff and she didn't want her to be alone. Lol....I Bert stared the phone and told her, "So, you'll stand me up for your friend, but it was your idea that we go out, your idea that we do things outside of lunch....and you no call/text?". She said she was sorry, obviously, then made plans for next week. Next week comes, same thing....she never said anything.

    I'm no fool to be waiting around for you, so my day went on as planned. I worked some OT, got off, came home and did my thing. But don't call me or text me later in the week like everything is cool when you're the one who says you want this and want that....and want to spend time with me in general. How are you this old, still playing these games? Nah, not me....I got options. As I said, there sexual energy is there but we haven't done anything. Haven't spent any money on each other, so there's nothing vested in this to where I'd be sad if it was lost....it's the fukcing point of it all. I'm not your man, you can do whatever you want....but you're a little too old for these games man. Seriously.

    I don't even care if you have potentials on the side...I do, just don't act like I'm the ONLY guy you're talking too. We're not exclusive, we just like each other beyond our friendship.

    These bitches be on that sh**. And they wonder why they get fukced and left alone. Because of the games.
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  17. #17
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    If someone gives you mixed signals or something that's what I mean. I have rejected women when I don't have other options or maybe an incompatibility thing. I'll probably bump into her again and just play it cool.
    Well someone acting cold or ghosting is a rejection, just a nonverbal one.

    Mixed signals or breadcrumbing (stringing you along with sporadic texts) means they are somewhat attracted to you but not that much. They'll put in some minor effort to keep you around as a backup option or to use you for attention or sex. But they are not really interested. Both genders do this btw.

    In casual dating it's just very important to look at nonverbal communication. Look at people's actions and understand what their actions mean.

    You can't go by verbal communication in casual dating because most people will be nice and polite. That's why you can't tell how someone feels about you by a first date going well. Pretty much everyone will still hold a nice conversation and politely laugh at jokes etc even if they're not interested.

    It's only after the first date that you learn their true interest by how they act afterwards. Similar to a job interview going well, doesn't really mean anything. Only after the interview will you learn how they really feel about you by their actions if they call you back in or hire you.
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    They’re playing games with you op and want you to chase them in many instances. Thats a clear sign that they are low value females looking for validation through the chase. Just ignore them and let their egos take a hit.

    Ive had more girls chase me when I ignored them and insulted them then when I replied under 5 minutes and complimented them. That “nice and respectable” guy act only works on sane females not on some washed up women in her late 20’s or some young girl who wants to sloot it up.

    Also never ask them why they rejected you brah. You will feel depressed afterwards.
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    I have only had 2 men ask me if something was wrong bc I seemed distant. Gave an honest answer both times. However, this will depend on the girl, some women will try to spare your feelings, in that case they will deny that they’re being “off”. Others may not give you a reason but will take the opportunity to cut it off. Either way, I don’t think it hurts to ask. Considering half the time when my bf tells me I’m “off” or “cold” it literally has nothing to do with him.
    They said she's gone too far this time

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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Well someone acting cold or ghosting is a rejection, just a nonverbal one.

    Mixed signals or breadcrumbing (stringing you along with sporadic texts) means they are somewhat attracted to you but not that much. They'll put in some minor effort to keep you around as a backup option or to use you for attention or sex. But they are not really interested. Both genders do this btw.

    In casual dating it's just very important to look at nonverbal communication. Look at people's actions and understand what their actions mean.

    You can't go by verbal communication in casual dating because most people will be nice and polite. That's why you can't tell how someone feels about you by a first date going well. Pretty much everyone will still hold a nice conversation and politely laugh at jokes etc even if they're not interested.

    It's only after the first date that you learn their true interest by how they act afterwards. Similar to a job interview going well, doesn't really mean anything. Only after the interview will you learn how they really feel about you by their actions if they call you back in or hire you.
    It's a mix of both. LOL I've had an instance where I've made out on a first date, one I went home with (no sex just slept on the couch) and they just ghosted thereafter haha. One recently I didn't even try and kiss and she hits me up a few days later telling me how much of a great time we had and I thought it was okay. SMH

    BTW gym girl had her hips and body towards me. I was eventually massaging her a bit and she wasn't turning it down. Could want attention or flirting. She told me she hasn't been on a proper date in years since she focused on her career so much and she stated the men that talked to her were married or something. Thanks for the advice. I'm just trying to explore thing better after my conversation with my friend and her dating experiences the past few months.

    Originally Posted by TrinnieBuu View Post
    I have only had 2 men ask me if something was wrong bc I seemed distant. Gave an honest answer both times. However, this will depend on the girl, some women will try to spare your feelings, in that case they will deny that they’re being “off”. Others may not give you a reason but will take the opportunity to cut it off. Either way, I don’t think it hurts to ask. Considering half the time when my bf tells me I’m “off” or “cold” it literally has nothing to do with him.
    Could be nothing or something. One girl told me that she just got out of a relationship and talking to me put her in a weird headspace and she wasn't ready for anything. Other girls just feel we aren't compatible, etc. A number of things. I'm thinking I should allow the girl to process her feelings and not overwhelm or pressure them.

    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    They’re playing games with you op and want you to chase them in many instances. Thats a clear sign that they are low value females looking for validation through the chase. Just ignore them and let their egos take a hit.

    Ive had more girls chase me when I ignored them and insulted them then when I replied under 5 minutes and complimented them. That “nice and respectable” guy act only works on sane females not on some washed up women in her late 20’s or some young girl who wants to sloot it up.

    Also never ask them why they rejected you brah. You will feel depressed afterwards.
    Or that too. I just am trying to determine if I can come off as strong or assholish, have a player vibe or whatever.
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    It's a mix of both. LOL I've had an instance where I've made out on a first date, one I went home with (no sex just slept on the couch) and they just ghosted thereafter haha. One recently I didn't even try and kiss and she hits me up a few days later telling me how much of a great time we had and I thought it was okay. SMH

    BTW gym girl had her hips and body towards me. I was eventually massaging her a bit and she wasn't turning it down. Could want attention or flirting. She told me she hasn't been on a proper date in years since she focused on her career so much and she stated the men that talked to her were married or something. Thanks for the advice. I'm just trying to explore thing better after my conversation with my friend and her dating experiences the past few months.



    Could be nothing or something. One girl told me that she just got out of a relationship and talking to me put her in a weird headspace and she wasn't ready for anything. Other girls just feel we aren't compatible, etc. A number of things. I'm thinking I should allow the girl to process her feelings and not overwhelm or pressure them.



    Or that too. I just am trying to determine if I can come off as strong or assholish, have a player vibe or whatever.
    You dont really have to come off as an “assholish” person in order to attract females. That behaviour only works on “low quality” women. I.e. sloots, daddy issues, low self-esteem, etc

    If all you want is sex then yes by all means be an assholish person brah

    But if youre looking for something serious best keep the assholish behaviour at a bare minimum or you will get rejected. Happened to me a few times.
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    You dont really have to come off as an “assholish” person in order to attract females. That behaviour only works on “low quality” women. I.e. sloots, daddy issues, low self-esteem, etc

    If all you want is sex then yes by all means be an assholish person brah

    But if youre looking for something serious best keep the assholish behaviour at a bare minimum or you will get rejected. Happened to me a few times.
    I mean an ******* as in people think I'm unapproachable and intimidating lol. I've gotten it a few times.
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    Originally Posted by YIAMSOMEBODY View Post
    I wholeheartedly agree with this. I can't even call it "seeing", but there's this 46 year old that I've been friends with for the last 9 years. We like each other, the sexual energy is there, never smashed even though we've talked about it.....it's just a slow process per se'. We'll go out to lunch, text and talk on the phone and she asked me, "Why is this all we do? We get started, then we fizzle out.....I want more." So I'm like, "Me too...I feel you. This is a 50-50 thing, so we're both going to have to put in the effort."

    Two and a half weeks ago, we're at lunch, she's talking about seeing a movie and I told her, "I'm down...let me know when." That Saturday, nothing. No call, no text....nada. I'm not about to chase you on something that was your invite, so I went about my day. Never called her after that because it was you that went cold. Sunday goes by, nothing. Still didn't call. Monday, she hits me with the "Hey U" text. I responded back and told her, "You on that bullsh**....you hit me with the shwamboozie", to which she replied, "What?" and I proceed to go into how it was her idea, no call, this this and the third. She said "Something came up" and she was sorry. I took her at her word. We go to lunch a few days later, she's obviously still not remembering what she told me, she drops the bomb that she went to see the movie that she and I were supposed to see. I said and acted like nothing and kept eating.

    Later that day, I texted her and asked her about the movie and why she stood me up. I just told her to be straight with me. She told me her friend was lonely and going through some stuff and she didn't want her to be alone. Lol....I Bert stared the phone and told her, "So, you'll stand me up for your friend, but it was your idea that we go out, your idea that we do things outside of lunch....and you no call/text?". She said she was sorry, obviously, then made plans for next week. Next week comes, same thing....she never said anything.

    I'm no fool to be waiting around for you, so my day went on as planned. I worked some OT, got off, came home and did my thing. But don't call me or text me later in the week like everything is cool when you're the one who says you want this and want that....and want to spend time with me in general. How are you this old, still playing these games? Nah, not me....I got options. As I said, there sexual energy is there but we haven't done anything. Haven't spent any money on each other, so there's nothing vested in this to where I'd be sad if it was lost....it's the fukcing point of it all. I'm not your man, you can do whatever you want....but you're a little too old for these games man. Seriously.

    I don't even care if you have potentials on the side...I do, just don't act like I'm the ONLY guy you're talking too. We're not exclusive, we just like each other beyond our friendship.

    These bitches be on that sh**. And they wonder why they get fukced and left alone. Because of the games.
    This is the gheyest thing I've read in a while mate.

    Friends for 9 years?

    NINE years.

    If I don't smash a chick by the 3rd date it's over.

    - inb4 9 years
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    A (female) friend and I were talking about dating and when people get cold/distant on you. She says its been helpful to ask the other person when this happens what happens or why?

    An example of say you went on a date with a girl you were interested in. I've had it where a woman I knew from a years back would pop back up. She would talk to me a bit then we had a 'date' whether a lunch or something. Pretty standard then BOOM thereafter things were very slow and got cold. No explanation.

    More recently a woman I met at the gym that is very communicative with me and she got borderline sexual (joked about my stuff was popping through my pants) and I reciprocated without being overly sexual but still showing I have a pulse. We ended up having dinner and a drink. Things seemed to go well and now all of a sudden she is colder. She would text me a few times and it is perplexing me that I did something 'wrong'.

    Part of me wants to ask in these situations why to clear up any confusion and maybe like my friend mentioned it may allow me some insight into myself as a person, but really would it provide me anything useful feedback for me? That's the conundrum there. Thoughts?
    If i was in your shoes I would definetly call it out, and ask for feedback because when things turn cold there is usually most likely a very good reason behind it... there is no such thing as chance, everything happens for a reason.
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    Originally Posted by Jesiza View Post
    This is the gheyest thing I've read in a while mate.

    Friends for 9 years?

    NINE years.

    If I don't smash a chick by the 3rd date it's over.

    - inb4 9 years
    Agreed with all of that.

    Originally Posted by jetli12345 View Post
    If i was in your shoes I would definetly call it out, and ask for feedback because when things turn cold there is usually most likely a very good reason behind it... there is no such thing as chance, everything happens for a reason.
    I'll pull back a little bit.
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    Originally Posted by Jesiza View Post
    This is the gheyest thing I've read in a while mate.

    Friends for 9 years?

    NINE years.

    If I don't smash a chick by the 3rd date it's over.

    - inb4 9 years
    Soooooo, you can't be friends with a chick? We literally never tried it back then....we were always cool.
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    It's probably pointless even analyzing it because there's so many variables. And this is coming from someone who tends to over-analyze.

    I know it's super frustrating, because you're wondering what it was and if there's a common theme you could potentially work on. My position is to be true to yourself and honest, and if she doesn't like that, then whatever - wasn't meant to be anyway.

    Does that mean I "miss out" on potential lays and maximizing attraction towards me? Yes, but you have to think about who you want to attract, and whether you want to maintain that facade.
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    Originally Posted by YIAMSOMEBODY View Post
    .
    She's 46 and still playing up? Time's running out, girly
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  29. #29
    Mr. Azmine YIAMSOMEBODY's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Vertigo5891 View Post
    She's 46 and still playing up? Time's running out, girly
    Aye, that's what I'm not really investing anything into it beyond our normal friendship. You say one thing, do another. Nah, I'm good....
    "ERMUHGAWD Crew"
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  30. #30
    Registered User Goingviking's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sword_ View Post
    A (female) friend and I were talking about dating and when people get cold/distant on you. She says its been helpful to ask the other person when this happens what happens or why?

    An example of say you went on a date with a girl you were interested in. I've had it where a woman I knew from a years back would pop back up. She would talk to me a bit then we had a 'date' whether a lunch or something. Pretty standard then BOOM thereafter things were very slow and got cold. No explanation.

    More recently a woman I met at the gym that is very communicative with me and she got borderline sexual (joked about my stuff was popping through my pants) and I reciprocated without being overly sexual but still showing I have a pulse. We ended up having dinner and a drink. Things seemed to go well and now all of a sudden she is colder. She would text me a few times and it is perplexing me that I did something 'wrong'.

    Part of me wants to ask in these situations why to clear up any confusion and maybe like my friend mentioned it may allow me some insight into myself as a person, but really would it provide me anything useful feedback for me? That's the conundrum there. Thoughts?
    Your overthinking things. I am pretty good looking in that many girls give me a second glance or slight smile when in public. However on dates I find that really 1 in 5 wants to pursue me for continuous dating. There are many things that come in to play with women. Financially I stepped down so I don't have career direction, I work weekends, etc have all came up as reasons from women who say they would be otherwise interested. However if I was a little more charming, and the chemistry was better then I doubt any of this would matter. Really something was missing for these women and chances are that many of these women can't pin point it exactly.

    Women also have been on dozens to hundreds of dates these days. Even if you have a great first date chances are that these women had better first dates before. Many women are constantly looking for magic to happen, but ironically do to the sheer numbers of people they have dated they have desensitized themselves from noticing potentially amazing guys. As ordinary males we can't read in to their behavior to much because in many ways modern women are just not rational about dating these days. As a result these women will go barren, and as men all we can do is play the numbers game.
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