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  1. #5911
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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    My goal...if mid 30s and single and struggling. I want to be a remote Senior Developer, and live like..in Panama, Thailand, Philliopines, or something

    brb 100k+ plus
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    brb living like a king on a beach
    From what I've heard, dudes who struggled in most of their 20s do better in their late 20s and 30s. Granted this is not every guy but a decent amount.
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  2. #5912
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Off topic, but I'm at the stage in my life (mid 30's) where a lot of my friends are moving up the "career ladder" into senior management and director positions.

    I do pretty well for myself, but I've always had the philosophy that work/life balance is more important than killing yourself in work. A good friend of mine was burnt out ~1 year ago and had to see a doctor and stay home for a couple of weeks due to his stress levels and overworking. When I talked to him before that, he was grinding it out because he was up for promotion in a few months and would get a large pay increase. Then I spoke with him after that episode, and he's chasing the next promotion. No doubt he's 'doing very well' in career now and accelerating at a much faster pace than I.

    Obviously you don't wanna end up like that, but when I see so many of my friends completely focused on career, I wonder if I'm wrong. I never wanted to manage people, it just seems like a stressful nightmare.And you really have to be the type of person that enjoys dealing with people, their emotions etc. in that position.

    I think it's almost natural for a driven guy to want to compete in the workplace and climb the ladder for status. In some ways, you could say I've resisted it to maintain the bigger picture on health, fitness and what the real value in life is. You get that extra pay, but you will also get extra responsibility. Companies don't generally bump you for nothing.

    All that said, I know I'm not pushing to my max potential in work - intentionally. I wonder why I start to feel a tinge of jealousy though, and if I should listen to that or not. I think if I have children, I can attach more meaning to that rather than work and my own health.

    There has to be better pursuits to focus on than what they are doing in corporate.
    I agree that work life balance is important. I honestly wouldn't want to be with a guy who worked constantly, like a CEO, lawyer, Dr, etc. Money just doesn't mean that much to me. I'd much rather be a peon and leave work at 5 and not have to think about my job when I'm not there. I've been asked to go for positions that would require more responsibility and I say no.

    Tomorrow night I have a happy hour with my work daughters. Would honestly rather not go because by Thursdays I'm pretty tired and it means I'll have to spend my lunch coming home to take my doggo out, but I figure wth?! Maybe I'll meet the man of my dreams.

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  3. #5913
    Akatsuki OG otakutrevan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    From what I've heard, dudes who struggled in most of their 20s do better in their late 20s and 30s. Granted this is not every guy but a decent amount.
    Hard pass on being someones wallet. If dating MAGICALLY gets easier in my 30s I will probably just play the field, and keep emotionally distant. inb4 who hurt you
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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    Hard pass on being someones wallet. If dating MAGICALLY gets easier in my 30s I will probably just play the field, and keep emotionally distant. inb4 who hurt you
    That's what I try to do, keep emotionally distant and that's honestly the best thing you can do in today's dating world. Just os if something happens, you're not too surprised. You should go after either younger women or older women so you don't have to worry about a woman your age trying to use you for financial stability.
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  5. #5915
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    Hard pass on being someones wallet. If dating MAGICALLY gets easier in my 30s I will probably just play the field, and keep emotionally distant. inb4 who hurt you
    I completely understand. You can't be mentally okay with marrying a woman that had casual hookups, FWBs and ONS -- when you were (or would've been) rejected by them in the past.

    The only way to feel okay about that is to have been in a few casual situations yourself, even if you two are legit more compatible and she finds you more attractive than all her previous partners. It's just psychologically difficult to overcome that feeling that she's been with so many guys before you. OR find a woman that hasn't had many partners, or just a couple of LTRs.

    The absolute worst is if a woman starts acting classy and withholding sex once she is trying to find a husband -- but for years beforehand she was a filthy slut -- ehhhh no. And I have been on dates where the girl has pretty much as admitted she's past her messing around phase. No second date of course.

    ALL THAT SAID, I think you're being a bit paranoid about the beta bucks/provider thing. I've realized that I'm highly unlikely to ever fall into that category, and with your character and personality I don't think you fit it either tbh.
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  6. #5916
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    That's what I try to do, keep emotionally distant and that's honestly the best thing you can do in today's dating world. Just os if something happens, you're not too surprised. You should go after either younger women or older women so you don't have to worry about a woman your age trying to use you for financial stability.
    lol at thinking younger women are with older men because of anything but their money. Women age matched would be much less likely to be using a guy for his money.
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  7. #5917
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    lol at thinking younger women are with older men because of anything but their money. Women age matched would be much less likely to be using a guy for his money.
    You'll know anyway if a woman is using you for money -- it'll be obvious, especially given the awareness of people ITT.
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  8. #5918
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    lol at thinking younger women are with older men because of anything but their money. Women age matched would be much less likely to be using a guy for his money.
    I'm talking about in terms of just having fun with them, not pursing a relationship you idiot. Same with older women. It should be obvious to anyone who ain't retarded if someone is using you for your money whether it's a 20 year old or a 27 year old.

    Women do like older men because of the experience and not all women in their 20s are gonna use a guy in his late 20s for his money.
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    Yeah, i'm pretty sure younger women like older men for 4 main reasons: Skills in bed, maturity, stability, daddy issues.

    I'd put about 100 reasons before money.

    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Off topic, but I'm at the stage in my life (mid 30's) where a lot of my friends are moving up the "career ladder" into senior management and director positions.

    I do pretty well for myself, but I've always had the philosophy that work/life balance is more important than killing yourself in work. A good friend of mine was burnt out ~1 year ago and had to see a doctor and stay home for a couple of weeks due to his stress levels and overworking. When I talked to him before that, he was grinding it out because he was up for promotion in a few months and would get a large pay increase. Then I spoke with him after that episode, and he's chasing the next promotion. No doubt he's 'doing very well' in career now and accelerating at a much faster pace than I.

    Obviously you don't wanna end up like that, but when I see so many of my friends completely focused on career, I wonder if I'm wrong. I never wanted to manage people, it just seems like a stressful nightmare.And you really have to be the type of person that enjoys dealing with people, their emotions etc. in that position.

    I think it's almost natural for a driven guy to want to compete in the workplace and climb the ladder for status. In some ways, you could say I've resisted it to maintain the bigger picture on health, fitness and what the real value in life is. You get that extra pay, but you will also get extra responsibility. Companies don't generally bump you for nothing.

    All that said, I know I'm not pushing to my max potential in work - intentionally. I wonder why I start to feel a tinge of jealousy though, and if I should listen to that or not. I think if I have children, I can attach more meaning to that rather than work and my own health.

    There has to be better pursuits to focus on than what they are doing in corporate.
    I figured I would be in upper management by now, but I like being a tech. I see how much stress my managers, directors, and CIO's always have and no thanks. An extra $50k/year will not make my life any better when you add in the time and stress.
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  10. #5920
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pondus_levo View Post
    Yeah, i'm pretty sure younger women like older men for 4 main reasons: Skills in bed, maturity, stability, daddy issues.

    I'd put about 100 reasons before money.
    This.

    Younger women (emphasis on WOMEN) like mature men. Girls are the ones that like these immature dudes. Most 20 year olds are not gonna care that much about a dude's financial status unless they're a gold digger/sugar baby, they just care about having fun.
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  11. #5921
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    lol at thinking younger women are with older men because of anything but their money. Women age matched would be much less likely to be using a guy for his money.
    Unless you're talking about some 20 year-old "sugar baby" (which is just a euphemism for prostitute) with a 50 year-old, not really. As for the latter, from my past experiences it's always been women my own age who were looking for a "provider" and expecting me to buy chit for them.

    And like everyone else has been saying, it's always pretty obvious when that's the case.

    Originally Posted by pondus_levo View Post
    Yeah, i'm pretty sure younger women like older men for 4 main reasons: Skills in bed, maturity, stability, daddy issues.

    I'd put about 100 reasons before money.
    This. The bolded is a big one. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  12. #5922
    Registered User DanielleGreen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    Hard pass on being someones wallet. If dating MAGICALLY gets easier in my 30s I will probably just play the field, and keep emotionally distant. inb4 who hurt you
    Who hurt you?



    Went to the bank today to discuss some things with a banker. He was a tall glass of water in my eyes. He was about 2 inches shorter than me. Slight flirting, talked about my goals, etc... Was tempted to give him my number, but I figured since he knows my financial status and possibly memorised my account number I shouldn't. Will be going to that particular bank just to look at him.

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    Akatsuki OG otakutrevan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DanielleGreen View Post
    Who hurt you?



    Went to the bank today to discuss some things with a banker. He was a tall glass of water in my eyes. He was about 2 inches shorter than me. Slight flirting, talked about my goals, etc... Was tempted to give him my number, but I figured since he knows my financial status and possibly memorised my account number I shouldn't. Will be going to that particular bank just to look at him.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Humans are biologically a pair bonding species. It isn't just random chance that most people end up in couples (and no it isn't just social programming, most social constructs are actually derived at root from biological behavior).

    So I'm sure some people can make it work with multiple partners, but it's not like it will become more popular (or lead to a better civilization) just because of economic pressure to provide higher income and share a home.
    Originally Posted by arkona4trek View Post
    Well if that happens, it will give some good work for fellow lawyers haha If the man marry one person, the other girl will have little to no right. If it does not marry, in my country there are specific law for couple who don't marry, that are pretty similar to the law for married people, but how do you apply them for a couple made of three person ?

    The main solution will be to draft contract for the main investment made by the three person so basically the dating/relationship life will become a full market and people involved in relationship will be more business partners than anything else (it is a bit the same and honestly the belief in the "market" is far less pronounced in my country than in the USA and at first talking about the "dating market" was kind of shoking for me).

    Anyway, if that happens, that will be a scary world to live in. human relation can't be reduce to contract and business transaction.
    Eh, I'm mostly just noodling...not married to the idea. But I don't think it is that crazy presuming any kind of legally created "family" continues. Maybe we will just go matriarchal and not bother with marriage at all...your mother's family is your family and who knocked her up just doesn't matter too much.

    That said men having more than one wife and marriage as a contract to join families (and sometimes countries) are historical fact. Women only began to gain property rights in the late 1800s. In some countries the situation is still pretty backward (See: China's missing female babies).

    It hasn't been very long that women have had the ability to earn their own income and control their reproduction. Women used to have fewer options - basically marry, remain subject to their relatives in the family home, or enter one of a very few professions with limited income potential and varying degrees of social acceptability. A marriage created by choice based on mutual attraction is a bit of a modern luxury.

    And there have been recent references (ITT IIRC) to fewer men than women reproducing. Some of that was surely maternal mortality leading to successful men having multiple wives one at a time, but there are plenty of historical accounts of men having multiple wives also.

    Just saying it wouldn't REALLY be a new thing; just a newer version of an old thing with more choice on the part of all concerned.
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    Originally Posted by DanielleGreen View Post
    Who hurt you?

    Went to the bank today to discuss some things with a banker. He was a tall glass of water in my eyes. He was about 2 inches shorter than me. Slight flirting, talked about my goals, etc... Was tempted to give him my number, but I figured since he knows my financial status and possibly memorised my account number I shouldn't. Will be going to that particular bank just to look at him.
    Lol what does he look like? Like maybe name a celebrity or post a pic of someone similar type?

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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    From what I've heard, dudes who struggled in most of their 20s do better in their late 20s and 30s. Granted this is not every guy but a decent amount.
    well you either do better or you dont. nothing really profund here.

    I dont see why it would get harder. At the very least there's older women and single moms that are desperate

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    Originally Posted by pondus_levo View Post
    Yeah, i'm pretty sure younger women like older men for 4 main reasons: Skills in bed, maturity, stability, daddy issues.

    I'd put about 100 reasons before money.



    I figured I would be in upper management by now, but I like being a tech. I see how much stress my managers, directors, and CIO's always have and no thanks. An extra $50k/year will not make my life any better when you add in the time and stress.
    but who was retiring earlier after banking that cash for a few years

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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    Wait WAIT ?
    All I can say is be somewhat cautious of foreigners. They will use Americans for the green card. I work with a guy that's married to a FOB Vietnamese and she's milking him dry. She does cook some damn good food though.
    I don't even use cash, but I may just go to the ATM like once a week or something. He already knows how much I make, which means I'll be buying the drinks 97% of the time.

    InB4............

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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Lol what does he look like? Like maybe name a celebrity or post a pic of someone similar type?
    Athletic thicc...

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    Im a lot of things, but I could never go out like a sucker. If I ever got married a prenup would happen and then id purposely get married in state where assets post marriage wouldnt get cucked by the state. And naturally I'd prefer my wife to work some. If not even full time just something so she has her own $

    I will not be beta bucked.
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    Originally Posted by DanielleGreen View Post
    All I can say is be somewhat cautious of foreigners. They will use Americans for the green card. I work with a guy that's married to a FOB Vietnamese and she's milking him dry. She does cook some damn good food though.
    I don't even use cash, but I may just go to the ATM like once a week or something. He already knows how much I make, which means I'll be buying the drinks 97% of the time.

    InB4............
    that doesnt mean anything. Im pretty sure its not legal for bank people to just LOOK at any account they want. I can hit up my finance boys. But just go on a date with the guy. Because he saw your bank doesnt mean he is a money hungry phaggot
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  22. #5932
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    Im a lot of things, but I could never go out like a sucker. If I ever got married a prenup would happen and then id purposely get married in state where assets post marriage wouldnt get cucked by the state. And naturally I'd prefer my wife to work some. If not even full time just something so she has her own $

    I will not be beta bucked.
    I highly doubt a woman is coming after me for my financial resources since I'm not even making 30 grand a year. If I do get married, it will be with a woman that's been with me when I was broke so when I make more money, she will still like me for me and not because of my money. Second option is to marry a woman who makes more than I do.
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  23. #5933
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Off topic, but I'm at the stage in my life (mid 30's) where a lot of my friends are moving up the "career ladder" into senior management and director positions.

    I do pretty well for myself, but I've always had the philosophy that work/life balance is more important than killing yourself in work. A good friend of mine was burnt out ~1 year ago and had to see a doctor and stay home for a couple of weeks due to his stress levels and overworking. When I talked to him before that, he was grinding it out because he was up for promotion in a few months and would get a large pay increase. Then I spoke with him after that episode, and he's chasing the next promotion. No doubt he's 'doing very well' in career now and accelerating at a much faster pace than I.

    Obviously you don't wanna end up like that, but when I see so many of my friends completely focused on career, I wonder if I'm wrong. I never wanted to manage people, it just seems like a stressful nightmare.And you really have to be the type of person that enjoys dealing with people, their emotions etc. in that position.

    I think it's almost natural for a driven guy to want to compete in the workplace and climb the ladder for status. In some ways, you could say I've resisted it to maintain the bigger picture on health, fitness and what the real value in life is. You get that extra pay, but you will also get extra responsibility. Companies don't generally bump you for nothing.

    All that said, I know I'm not pushing to my max potential in work - intentionally. I wonder why I start to feel a tinge of jealousy though, and if I should listen to that or not. I think if I have children, I can attach more meaning to that rather than work and my own health.

    There has to be better pursuits to focus on than what they are doing in corporate.
    I was on the corporate ladder and worked 60-80 hour weeks, and then the stress killed my health. That's when I decided to forget about career advancement and focus on health. No one is on their deathbed wishing they would have worked more. So now I take jobs that are nonstop busy when I get in the office, but are mostly 9-6pm. Perhaps you want to do the same. However, I thought you were looking to move since you're in one of the top liberal cities? Just moving would help reduce the stress of a big city.

    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    lol at thinking younger women are with older men because of anything but their money. Women age matched would be much less likely to be using a guy for his money.
    Agree 100%. Men get younger women who want their money. Women get younger men who want sex with a MILF after watching MILF porn. It's pretty basic. Some younger men want money from older women, but that is rare.

  24. #5934
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Dating site that requires weight verification for women?
    notseacreatures.com?
    Plenty of anorexics?
    no_orbiters.com?
    big10inch.com (may need to license from aerosmith)

    when a chick with the myspace angles messaged me I asked if they had that pic taken from a helicopter and complimented them on the tops of their shoes.
    cause i'm a dic.
    then told them to send me a spoon pic from a sea level perspective.
    when they told me they didn't have a full length mirror I suggested they send noodes cause I knew they where the misc standards for whale but there are chicks whose bellies stick out further than their boobs and well...I do have standards for women who drive to my house for dink.

  25. #5935
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    I highly doubt a woman is coming after me for my financial resources since I'm not even making 30 grand a year. If I do get married, it will be with a woman that's been with me when I was broke so when I make more money, she will still like me for me and not because of my money. Second option is to marry a woman who makes more than I do.
    I think y’all are too paranoid about some woman using you for your money. I reckon it would be pretty obvious.

    Although there are more subtle variations where a woman will wanna know if you’re in a financially stable position to provide a good home for children.

    I actually think it is kinda reasonable to a degree, I’d wanna know is she’s in debt or not and what her attitude is towards money and/or materialism. It’s also in her best interest to have a more comfortable life (take time off to care for children etc).

    I won’t divulge my income or financial situation to a woman though. It’s the attitude that matters much more than any debt, as long as the debt is reasonable. She’ll figure out that my character is a responsible one, that I’m not in debt, and if she pushes for numbers I’ll know where I stand with her and dump her.

    With regards debt for example I saw a thread a few days ago on a financial advice forum where a guy w/ wife in their early 30’s posted that she’s $450k in debt @ 7% and expected to graduate medical residency to a $250k income in 2 years.

    That sort of situation would probably be a dealbreaker for me, since it obviously doesn’t fit my goals to have kids and her to back off work significantly even if she has a solid financial plan to pay it down.
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  26. #5936
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    LOL at still believing humans are naturally monogamous.
    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Lol at thinking humans don’t naturally pair bond
    but, you are ignoring the divorce rate today.
    Ignoring people who have a new "significant other" every 6 months.
    times are changing.
    I have women I don't talk/text to for months at a time then they hit me up and we bang.
    As long as my dik still functions they really don't care i'm a fat arse.

    you can try to say "well, you only know and attract low quality women or sloots" or "you are just a slave to the sugarwalls" but is that true?
    I get MY chit done and still get assisted nut bust.
    since I am married, divorced, have my boys i'm actually fairly happy.
    I would totally like to have someone I can count on who wouldn't think all of my hobbies are silly and I should stop them.
    but honestly I haven't met them yet.

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    Originally Posted by otakutrevan View Post
    DLB is legit mentally ill. Please stop this charade.


    @Lucifer personal site will be hosted on Friday with some projects attached. Even gonna get some cards made and start hitting more meet ups.
    yeah.
    Things are getting fuking weird here.
    "dude" who has been here less than yr knows more about DLB than most people.
    really?

    really?


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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    From what I've heard, dudes who struggled in most of their 20s do better in their late 20s and 30s. Granted this is not every guy but a decent amount.
    agree.
    but it doesn't work if they are remote.
    most of those guys I know met their wives at work.
    go figure.

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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    I agree that work life balance is important. I honestly wouldn't want to be with a guy who worked constantly, like a CEO, lawyer, Dr, etc. Money just doesn't mean that much to me. I'd much rather be a peon and leave work at 5 and not have to think about my job when I'm not there. I've been asked to go for positions that would require more responsibility and I say no.

    Tomorrow night I have a happy hour with my work daughters. Would honestly rather not go because by Thursdays I'm pretty tired and it means I'll have to spend my lunch coming home to take my doggo out, but I figure wth?! Maybe I'll meet the man of my dreams.

    tired by thursday?
    WTF?

    i'm 47 and still awake.
    I won't be tired until friday.

  30. #5940
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I think y’all are too paranoid about some woman using you for your money. I reckon it would be pretty obvious.

    Although there are more subtle variations where a woman will wanna know if you’re in a financially stable position to provide a good home for children.

    I actually think it is kinda reasonable to a degree, I’d wanna know is she’s in debt or not and what her attitude is towards money and/or materialism. It’s also in her best interest to have a more comfortable life (take time off to care for children etc).

    I won’t divulge my income or financial situation to a woman though. It’s the attitude that matters much more than any debt, as long as the debt is reasonable. She’ll figure out that my character is a responsible one, that I’m not in debt, and if she pushes for numbers I’ll know where I stand with her and dump her.

    With regards debt for example I saw a thread a few days ago on a financial advice forum where a guy w/ wife in their early 30’s posted that she’s $450k in debt @ 7% and expected to graduate medical residency to a $250k income in 2 years.

    That sort of situation would probably be a dealbreaker for me, since it obviously doesn’t fit my goals to have kids and her to back off work significantly even if she has a solid financial plan to pay it down.
    Yes I know multiple women around similar income levels or some even higher, and they all have kids and they do not stop or slow down work after kids.

    It’s not just about money but also that their career is very important to them and what they worked to build for many years. Work is a big part of their life and of who they are. So even if they don’t have any debt and even if their husbands can support them at the same lifestyle, they wouldn’t want to quit.

    So yeah since you want a SAHM or at most a part time working mom, those type of career women would not be a good fit.

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