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  1. #121
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    Could have taken a raincheck. I remember wanting to take one years ago but felt it would be a waste of time. In your case, I think you made a wise decision. RE the first reply to me:

    Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of rack pulls because they, surprise, take a lot out of you. Also really easy to kinky your should blades and pinch a nerve. Having a lower TDEE I don't care about hunger anymore, but it feels nice to eat a heavy meal for breakfast and make it to 3-4 PM before feeling hungry and wanting to eat.

    My water consumption has shot up though. 2-3 gallons of ice water a day. If I go a few days with say a gallon, I puff up like a fish. I don't sweat at work, but the AC must be drying me out a lot. Have a good week, dude.
    I've been really enjoying my new approach to eating, except on days where my hunger doesn't kick in until later.

    Because I'm using a minimum target, if I only hit 2k by 6pm... it can be hard for me to WANT to eat anything because especially with my reflux issues going to bed on a full stomach just DOESNT work... I wake up feeling full and I can't eat without ill-feelings for hours, which just perpetuates the cycles.

    So, I find getting about 40% of daily fat and about 50% of my daily carbs (just a general target) finished by noon to be very helpful. I've also been experimenting with higher fat days, too, and limiting things that are high in water content and fiber... it seems to help a lot.

    Yeah I don't know... mentally I've also been feeling very odd... too...

    In ED recovery, for me anyway, because I am/was so obsessed with this idea that I can control and optimize things, now that I'm NOT doing that and i'm not food-focused all the time... it feels like I've lost a passion or a hobby... like I can no longer feel interested in watching food videos, cooking shows, etc... because I just don't care.

    Similarly, because I'm basically just doing a YOLO bulk, i'm having to rediscover what I actually care about... it's just... I dunno, different. It's good, but I'm 33 and it feels like learning to walk again. I dunno.

    But yeah I am already feeling a little watery/puffy on my lower abs, but that might just be water... who knows..

    I'm kind of treating the whole thing like an experiment... learning what my body actually needs, etc... and if I gain a bunch of fluff... oh well... i'm like... 7% bodyfat so... what the hell could happen anyway?
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  2. #122
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    I've been really enjoying my new approach to eating, except on days where my hunger doesn't kick in until later.

    Because I'm using a minimum target, if I only hit 2k by 6pm... it can be hard for me to WANT to eat anything because especially with my reflux issues going to bed on a full stomach just DOESNT work... I wake up feeling full and I can't eat without ill-feelings for hours, which just perpetuates the cycles.

    So, I find getting about 40% of daily fat and about 50% of my daily carbs (just a general target) finished by noon to be very helpful. I've also been experimenting with higher fat days, too, and limiting things that are high in water content and fiber... it seems to help a lot.

    Yeah I don't know... mentally I've also been feeling very odd... too...

    In ED recovery, for me anyway, because I am/was so obsessed with this idea that I can control and optimize things, now that I'm NOT doing that and i'm not food-focused all the time... it feels like I've lost a passion or a hobby... like I can no longer feel interested in watching food videos, cooking shows, etc... because I just don't care.

    Similarly, because I'm basically just doing a YOLO bulk, i'm having to rediscover what I actually care about... it's just... I dunno, different. It's good, but I'm 33 and it feels like learning to walk again. I dunno.

    But yeah I am already feeling a little watery/puffy on my lower abs, but that might just be water... who knows..

    I'm kind of treating the whole thing like an experiment... learning what my body actually needs, etc... and if I gain a bunch of fluff... oh well... i'm like... 7% bodyfat so... what the hell could happen anyway?
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  3. #123
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boo99 View Post
    You could meet a beautiful, rich, Seattle female who golfs and lifts
    haha, that's MORE likely to happen if I get fatter
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  4. #124
    Surfing Chia Seed Dude SOJA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    I've been really enjoying my new approach to eating, except on days where my hunger doesn't kick in until later.

    Because I'm using a minimum target, if I only hit 2k by 6pm... it can be hard for me to WANT to eat anything because especially with my reflux issues going to bed on a full stomach just DOESNT work... I wake up feeling full and I can't eat without ill-feelings for hours, which just perpetuates the cycles.

    So, I find getting about 40% of daily fat and about 50% of my daily carbs (just a general target) finished by noon to be very helpful. I've also been experimenting with higher fat days, too, and limiting things that are high in water content and fiber... it seems to help a lot.

    Yeah I don't know... mentally I've also been feeling very odd... too...

    In ED recovery, for me anyway, because I am/was so obsessed with this idea that I can control and optimize things, now that I'm NOT doing that and i'm not food-focused all the time... it feels like I've lost a passion or a hobby... like I can no longer feel interested in watching food videos, cooking shows, etc... because I just don't care.

    Similarly, because I'm basically just doing a YOLO bulk, i'm having to rediscover what I actually care about... it's just... I dunno, different. It's good, but I'm 33 and it feels like learning to walk again. I dunno.

    But yeah I am already feeling a little watery/puffy on my lower abs, but that might just be water... who knows..

    I'm kind of treating the whole thing like an experiment... learning what my body actually needs, etc... and if I gain a bunch of fluff... oh well... i'm like... 7% bodyfat so... what the hell could happen anyway?
    This is a great post, and I'm happy you're doing better. As for the reflux.... yeah that hit me hard the past few years. I used to think I'd be immune for life. Well, life plays cruel tricks. I avoid certain trigger foods after a certain hour now if I want to sleep in peace. I do understand the loss of a hobby/passion you're feeling. Not too late in life to make "getting big and strong" a passion.
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  5. #125
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    This is a great post, and I'm happy you're doing better. As for the reflux.... yeah that hit me hard the past few years. I used to think I'd be immune for life. Well, life plays cruel tricks. I avoid certain trigger foods after a certain hour now if I want to sleep in peace. I do understand the loss of a hobby/passion you're feeling. Not too late in life to make "getting big and strong" a passion.
    Oh it is, it definitely is.

    I'm kind of on this 'I'm going to show everyone what i'm made of' mentality right now... ready for transform or whatever. Change is fun
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  6. #126
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Feeling like a boss today.

    Lifted upper body bench/row focuses...

    Bench didn't increase but I added some rowing reps. Also just had really solid stamina the whole time and felt great.

    Even had a good meeting with my manager about a big project im doing... super stoked.

    Going to chill at home and maybe go on a short bike ride now that I fixed my tires... weather is PERFECT, and appetite is back in full swing
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  7. #127
    Surfing Chia Seed Dude SOJA's Avatar
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    Do you post in the biking thread? Also, have you decided what you want to do pc rig wise? Good to hear you're feeling better. Feeling like poop here. Very tired and spacing out despite getting a full night's rest. Though it might have to do with leaping out of bed in morning because my acid reflux was coming up my throat. Couldn't push it down/swallow it and ended up throwing up a little into my bathroom sink. Last thing I ate before bed was some celery and an apple.
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  8. #128
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    Do you post in the biking thread? Also, have you decided what you want to do pc rig wise? Good to hear you're feeling better. Feeling like poop here. Very tired and spacing out despite getting a full night's rest. Though it might have to do with leaping out of bed in morning because my acid reflux was coming up my throat. Couldn't push it down/swallow it and ended up throwing up a little into my bathroom sink. Last thing I ate before bed was some celery and an apple.
    Nah im not deep enough into cycling for that... I just ride for fun in the sun and exploring.

    PC rise I dunno... I haven't been playing anything much at all because work and golf have been keeping me busy, so I'd need some kind of push to do that really.

    I can be a major flake on hobbies ;(
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  9. #129
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  10. #130
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Been having some bloating issues making sleep suck hardcore.

    Might try upping my fats and reducing veggies and other types of carbs to see if it helps. Got real bad sleep last night cuz I was bloated the whole time... maybe like 5 total 'broken' hours and I still have these sharp cramps going on.
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  11. #131
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Been having some bloating issues making sleep suck hardcore.

    Might try upping my fats and reducing veggies and other types of carbs to see if it helps. Got real bad sleep last night cuz I was bloated the whole time... maybe like 5 total 'broken' hours and I still have these sharp cramps going on.
    Much like you, I had a terrible night's sleep with heartburn, random points of pain throughout my body, going in and out of consciousness at random intervals and some great leaping towards the bathroom this morning. I'm one third miserable and two thirds **** today.
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  12. #132
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    went to gym

    warmed up for squats

    did 2 working sets

    felt like passing out

    nothing seems to feel right today. that 'rock bottom' feeling. basically zero movement...took a shytty nap... useless.
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  13. #133
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    went to gym

    warmed up for squats

    did 2 working sets

    felt like passing out

    nothing seems to feel right today. that 'rock bottom' feeling. basically zero movement...took a shytty nap... useless.
    Yeah, I just drive back home on days like that or do some minimal cardio so I don't feel useless. I ended up trying to sleep in today instead and couldn't. Felt like death all day long. I'm so tired now but not the same tired where you can easily fall asleep. I ran 12 miles yesterday. That should give you an idea of how tired I was but couldn't sleep.
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  14. #134
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    Yeah, I just drive back home on days like that or do some minimal cardio so I don't feel useless. I ended up trying to sleep in today instead and couldn't. Felt like death all day long. I'm so tired now but not the same tired where you can easily fall asleep. I ran 12 miles yesterday. That should give you an idea of how tired I was but couldn't sleep.
    Forcing myself to do cardio when my BMI is 17.2 probably is not a good idea, especially if I feel depressed and like garbage.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Forcing myself to do cardio when my BMI is 17.2 probably is not a good idea, especially if I feel depressed and like garbage.
    Yeah, I wouldn't advise that, but I'll trade you metabolisms.
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  16. #136
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    Yeah, I wouldn't advise that, but I'll trade you metabolisms.
    really? because I can tell you I feel like shyt most of the time. seems like there's more important things, like for me: not dying.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    really? because I can tell you I feel like shyt most of the time. seems like there's more important things, like for me: not dying.
    Nah, I'd love to eat and be able to burn off things with that sweet TDEE of yours. I already feel terrible most of the time. The wonders of getting older. Or maybe because I keep myself up at night wondering. A lot.
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    Nah, I'd love to eat and be able to burn off things with that sweet TDEE of yours. I already feel terrible most of the time. The wonders of getting older. Or maybe because I keep myself up at night wondering. A lot.
    I'd prefer not reading comments about my TDEE in a positive light, it feeds my disordered thinking.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    I'd prefer not reading comments about my TDEE in a positive light, it feeds my disordered thinking.
    That's the spirit. Go eat a pint of ice cream. Daddy Soja's orders, young man.
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    That's the spirit. Go eat a pint of ice cream. Daddy Soja's orders, young man.
    You're being really cavalier about a serious issues i'm dealing with.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    You're being really cavalier about a serious issues i'm dealing with.
    Not really. I'm just trying to move on because I realized I made a poor post and don't know what to say so humor is the only thing I can come up with.
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    Slept for 9 hours... 930pm - 630am...

    most sleep i've had in... dunno how long.

    Went back to make up for yesterday. Got in my lower workout.

    Mentally still kind of meh, but, physically feeling more able today which is nice.

    Yesterday I hate to admit but I only ate about 2k because my stomach was so ill... but, I barely moved.. maybe like 1000 steps, total... overwise laying down, napping, web surfing...

    Should be improved today though.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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    Had so much extra energy I crammed in a 'mini' version of my OHP day since tomorrow i'm having a day off anyway and I had lots of steam to burn off..

    Ended up INCREASING my OHP by 5lb... Did OHP, Chins, CGBP, and some curls.

    Also forgot to mention, my squat volume increased in the morning lower session too...

    And I STILL feel awake and energetic.

    Definitely going to start hitting the pillow earlier... so much better today... including my appetite...
    The power of carbs compels me!
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    I find sleeping about 12 or more hours resets my energy and clears my head to a degree. I got some great sleep in last night but I'm not 100% there mentally today. I did feel more human and less bot like this morning, though. I had some great lucid dreams revolving around food. That was probably a first for me. So self aware in the dream I knew I wanted ketchup with something and got up in the dream to go get it, and tasted the food after and said "Oh yeah, now it tastes good."

    Thank you allergy drugs.
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    I find sleeping about 12 or more hours resets my energy and clears my head to a degree. I got some great sleep in last night but I'm not 100% there mentally today. I did feel more human and less bot like this morning, though. I had some great lucid dreams revolving around food. That was probably a first for me. So self aware in the dream I knew I wanted ketchup with something and got up in the dream to go get it, and tasted the food after and said "Oh yeah, now it tastes good."

    Thank you allergy drugs.
    lol

    can't say I ever dream about food.

    sex? yea.

    Food not so much.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    lol

    can't say I ever dream about food.

    sex? yea.

    Food not so much.
    I have never dreamed about sex in the traditional sense. Nudity or erotic imagery, sure. When I was younger I had really bad lucid dreams. Now that I'm older, they're fairly silly. I dreamed I was playing jump rope with a baby elephant a few years ago.
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    I have never dreamed about sex in the traditional sense. Nudity or erotic imagery, sure. When I was younger I had really bad lucid dreams. Now that I'm older, they're fairly silly. I dreamed I was playing jump rope with a baby elephant a few years ago.
    my dreams are usually really lame is that they're not too eventful... sometimes I wonder why the hell I bother having them they're so boring, hah!

    every once in a while though like I said... it'll be sexy time.
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    That double-session yesterday really really did me in. I mean it was only a total of about 100 minutes in the gym, but somehow going BACK and re-engaging my CNS seemed to just kill me.

    Again slept about 9 hours

    Woke up so damn sore... decided to go on a walk to loosen my joints up...

    When I got home... I felt so ravenous I took in a ~1200 calories breakfast (I think). Somehow, I was craving fats and fruit...

    So... 6 eggs, 1 whole avocado, 1 bagel w/almond butter, pack of raspberries (I think it's like, 170g or something on the package)... then a black coffee.

    Not even that full... I also have this family reunion today... so... i'm basically going to be shoving in calories non stop
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    How was the food? I had a similar big breakfast this morning and I've felt really... super all day long. Probably stay up and do some reading. I kind of miss that soreness feeling??? IDK how to describe it, but it's sort of pleasurable. DOMS that is. Sometimes I go a little harder just to experience it in the days following.
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    Originally Posted by SOJA View Post
    How was the food? I had a similar big breakfast this morning and I've felt really... super all day long. Probably stay up and do some reading. I kind of miss that soreness feeling??? IDK how to describe it, but it's sort of pleasurable. DOMS that is. Sometimes I go a little harder just to experience it in the days following.
    im a watery blob... hahaha

    So much sodium... but it was good. I forgot how addicting those little pieces of chinese bbw pork are... you know, the kind you dip in hot mustard? My face/cheeks/stomach feel like they're drowning.
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