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  1. #1
    Registered User Tinyblu's Avatar
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    Being "Skinny Shamed" at 40? - MINDLESS RANT

    I'll preface this by saying that most of the "skinny shamers" didn't know the smaller me, but I'm wondering if folks are just hating on me.

    I have lost about 20 pounds in the last couple of months. I had a rude awakening when my doctor informed me that I was pre-diabetic with NO family history. I have never been a big girl, but at 5'3", 148 was a bit... plump. I didn't get any complaints, and the African American community tends to be a little more forgiving of curves.

    So, now I'm teetering between 128 and 132, and the comments are getting on my nerves! People have told me to "just stop it"... that I'm trying to be white (what does that MEAN?!?!?) and that I need to gain my weight back. I even had someone ask me if I was losing weight "on purpose".

    However, the only measurement that went down is my waist!!! Much to my dismay, I'm still sitting at a whopping 40 inches in the hips.

    I'm back in the gym and starting to build muscle (I lost the weight simply by cleaning up my diet and walking), so I'm sure things will start to re-position themselves in a few weeks, but I just wish people would mind their own business. SInce when does a healthy BMI equal an eating disorder?

    OK... rant over..,.
    CHILAX...It's REALLY not that serious...

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    High Plains Lifter Mark1T's Avatar
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    I think you look awesome and you should hold your head high and ignore those people who might just be jealous.

    Keep doing what you are doing
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    Registered User d2mini's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post

    So, now I'm teetering between 128 and 132, and the comments are getting on my nerves! People have told me to "just stop it"... that I'm trying to be white (what does that MEAN?!?!?) and that I need to gain my weight back. I even had someone ask me if I was losing weight "on purpose".
    They're just jelly.
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  4. #4
    Yells at clouds BS57's Avatar
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    Ask yourself who it is exactly you're attempting to please, yourself or others?

    Who cares what others think? And, d2mini most likely hit the nail on the head.
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    Registered User tblodg15's Avatar
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    Congrats on your progress! I too hear all the time that I am getting too skinny which is pretty funny when I have a BMI of 27 and body fat in the 16-18% range. Neither of those would qualify as "skinny" but compared to how I used to look and to the typical 50 year old man I guess it does.

    Keep doing what you are but it does help to share your experience and hear from others who are in a similar situation. We will support you!
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  6. #6
    🅾🅼🅴🅶🅰 🆆🅴🅰🅿🅾🅽 EjnarKolinkar's Avatar
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    I try to be kind when folks obnoxiously tell me how to live my life as if I asked. I mean I'm a pretty harsh person at times, and it would be easy to stoop to their level.

    It's good your focusing more on your own happiness and health random comments stemming from the peanut butter and jealous.
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    Humble Megalomaniac ElrondHubbard's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
    I'll preface this by saying that most of the "skinny shamers" didn't know the smaller me, but I'm wondering if folks are just hating on me.

    I have lost about 20 pounds in the last couple of months. I had a rude awakening when my doctor informed me that I was pre-diabetic with NO family history. I have never been a big girl, but at 5'3", 148 was a bit... plump. I didn't get any complaints, and the African American community tends to be a little more forgiving of curves.

    So, now I'm teetering between 128 and 132, and the comments are getting on my nerves! People have told me to "just stop it"... that I'm trying to be white (what does that MEAN?!?!?) and that I need to gain my weight back. I even had someone ask me if I was losing weight "on purpose".

    However, the only measurement that went down is my waist!!! Much to my dismay, I'm still sitting at a whopping 40 inches in the hips.

    I'm back in the gym and starting to build muscle (I lost the weight simply by cleaning up my diet and walking), so I'm sure things will start to re-position themselves in a few weeks, but I just wish people would mind their own business. SInce when does a healthy BMI equal an eating disorder?

    OK... rant over..,.
    Don't think that reaction is unique to the African-American community or to females. I'm on a cut now, I've lost eight pounds with a couple more to go, and I've had both men and women react with disbelief and apparent horror when I tell them my weight loss is no accident.

    A few -- my wife for instance -- are complementary about the leaner me, but most who notice it at all will find ways to disapprove.

    What you will find, though, is that people who didn't know you prior to your weight loss will have very favorable impressions of how you look now. If you gain the weight back, those are the people that will give you the "tut-tut" look.

    And trying to be white???? Have any of those people been to a Walmart lately?
    “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.”
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    Registered User grubman's Avatar
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    If there is one thing I’ve been learning as I age...people are stupid, and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.

    You saw a problem, and did something about it. Most people are too lazy to ever do anything, even to improve thier health or self respect. They rather wallow in self pity and depression.

    When they see someone else accomplish things, they put them down to try and lift themselves up. It’s pathetic.

    It’s irritating, and sometimes it hurts when people insult you when they should be complimenting you instead. But you know you did the right thing. You’ll feel better physically and mentally, and even if it wasn’t your primary goal...you look better (probably to those same people cutting you down as well, even though they don’t have the self respect to admit it).

    Congratulations on your good work. Stay healthy, and f*ck the haters!
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    Registered User Cantplankwell's Avatar
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    I've found over the past few years that many people tend to have a negative opinion when you lose weight.

    Mostly it is due to the fact that they resent (either consciously or subconsciously) the fact that you are doing something that they know on some level that they should do themselves but have always felt that "it's too HARD!".

    And so, when someone they know who is also overweight begins to prove that mentality wrong by actually getting rid of the fat, they become discouraging of it and to some degree want you to "fail" so that their original opinion of fat loss being "too HARD!" will remain validated.

    Because if someone they know well proves it wrong then that eliminates one of the major excuses that they have been relying upon to avoid making any effort to get in shape themselves.

    I have learned to just take the comments like that as motivation to push harder to stay in shape instead.
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  11. #11
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    Jealousy can get ugly in lots of situations. No matter what, remember that you are doing it for YOU and for YOUR health. I get shamed in my office a lot when I bring stuff to eat or turn down sweets but it doesn't bother me anymore because I am doing it for me and I know they are just jealous.
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    Hating on you? What are we middle school? I can't even imagine grown adults in their 40's having conversations like this.

    Bizarre...
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    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
    I have lost about 20 pounds in the last couple of months.

    I have never been a big girl, but at 5'3", 148 was a bit... plump. I didn't get any complaints, and the African American community tends to be a little more forgiving of curves.

    So, now I'm teetering between 128 and 132, and the comments are getting on my nerves!
    Hmmm, sorry I can't relate. On Oct 23, 2017 I weighed 323 pounds... last time I got on the scale at the gym ( probably 3-4 days ago ) I weighed 262, and not one FRICKEN person has said one FRICKEN word to me about losing weight. NOT ONE PERSON. Nobody at work, not a single word. People at the gym..? NOPE. Wifey... honestly I think she hates that I'm "normal" weight now.


    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
    People have told me to "just stop it"... that I'm trying to be white (what does that MEAN?!?!?)
    Yes what does that mean? When stated the other way around, similar comments are the reasons that people are forced out of their current livelihoods. It's not OK either way. You should realize that.



    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
    I'm still sitting at a whopping 40 inches in the hips.
    I won't make any (racial) comments.


    Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
    I had a rude awakening when my doctor informed me that I was pre-diabetic with NO family history.
    Well, are you still pre diabetic after losing weight? Isn't that all that really matters of anything in this post?
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    Humble Megalomaniac ElrondHubbard's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kimm4 View Post
    Hating on you? What are we middle school? I can't even imagine grown adults in their 40's having conversations like this.

    Bizarre...
    It may not happen to you since you've been spectacular for many years. Essentially, those who know you see you as you always have been in their eyes. But for those of us who are recently improving from a previously worse state, the resistance we get from those around us, while possibly middle-schoolish still, is a real and annoying thing.

    But you're right, it is bizarre.
    “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.”
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    Chihuahua in the rain Corbets's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ElrondHubbard View Post
    It may not happen to you since you've been spectacular for many years. Essentially, those who know you see you as you always have been in their eyes. But for those of us who are recently improving from a previously worse state, the resistance we get from those around us, while possibly middle-schoolish still, is a real and annoying thing.

    But you're right, it is bizarre.
    I dunno, but I guess it has a lot to do with the kinds of people you spend time with (by choice or otherwise) and the attitude you bring into it.

    I get some (slightly overweight) people that joke about my weight loss and new eating habits, and those cases are such that I could either interpret them as jokes or jealousy. Depending which of the two I decide, I either feel validated and supported or slightly angry. So in my case, it’s primarily an internal, not external, thing.

    But I have also experienced that there are some people who are just bitter and negative too, and no amount of positive attitude will help. I guess the right answer is not to give them any air time in your head, but I do have to admit I sometimes enjoy pointing out that being a fatass like them is not the healthier option. Depends what kind of mood I’m in. Helps that I’m 6’4” in those situations, I guess, otherwise I might get my attitude problem corrected for me.
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