Cheating coworkers, do you mind your own business?

[niospecv]

Mind your own business.

[magnefico]

Do it anonymously ?

[Brosnbroccoli]

Would mind my own business, UNLESS she goes through with having a kid with the other guy. She's literally ruining his most basic purpose in life. You have to be a god awful person to do that.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Idk I do understand what you mean but still think it's best that I stayed out of it. Such an enormous life event for both the wife and the kids that can devastate their future. Maybe the wives were in denial or looking the other way and maybe that was better for everyone in the family idk.

My other reason was that these guys were friends of my ex and I was afraid of him so was scared he would retaliate. It was like a group of friends and they were all doing it. And you'd never be able to tell because their families looked perfect on the outside. Everything was such a mess that I think it was best to just stay out of everything.

I’m guessing your ex was abusive?

I wasn’t speaking about you not deciding to tell them, but in general you should. Of course there are cases where you can’t and that’s understandable. In my case I will always say something since I have a big mouth gets me in trouble, but I have to speak up if something goes against my morals.

I do agree that if your ex was a dangerous person and you felt like your life would be threaten then it’s understandable why you wouldn’t. You can only do so much as a human, right?

[1QWIK7]

Gonna have to edit that last word. We're Miscers....we don't have sex. None of us do.

True.

But you can tell which ones don't. The ones that constantly brag lol.

People in this thread have no idea what quantity vs quality is lol. And what differentiates women and how they cheat vs men lol.

Yup, this is the misc alright.

[esp2]

Anonymous tip

[Silencespeaks]

I’m guessing your ex was abusive?

I wasn’t speaking about you not deciding to tell them, but in general you should. Of course there are cases where you can’t and that’s understandable. In my case I will always say something since I have a big mouth gets me in trouble, but I have to speak up if something goes against my morals.

I do agree that if your ex was a dangerous person and you felt like your life would be threaten then it’s understandable why you wouldn’t. You can only do so much as a human, right?

Not abusive but there was some weird mental/emotional/personality stuff going on. Just glad I'm away from all that.

Really changed my view on marriage though and that you can just never tell what really goes on inside other people's marriages, no matter how long term they are.

[Luc1fer]

Really changed my view on marriage though and that you can just never tell what really goes on inside other people's marriages, no matter how long term they are.

Relationships too. Just LOL at social media.

[*ShaGGs*]

In the military almost everyone I knew cheated. That's not my thing but I didn't tell on anybody.

If I found out that a friend of mine was being cheated on and I knew they would listen to me, I'd let them know.

[wincel]

You've never encountered a sociopathic woman. That kind has absolutely no self-awareness and would absolutely take pride in getting knocked up by some druggie convict and pulling one over on her sweet-natured husband if she's genuinely attracted to this guy but not to her husband. People like that are deeply unaware that there's anything strange about what they're doing and are confused when people react negatively.

Remember that story years ago about the woman in Texas who hit a homeless guy with her car and drove home with him stuck in her windshield, then parked the car in the garage and left him there, having sex with her boyfriend and checking on him periodically until he had bled out? Convict boyfriend, loser friend, loser friend's cousin all knew and kept it quiet.

That woman held down a job as a nurse, and only got caught because she told people about it at a party months later. At a party. She thought this was a funny thing to tell people at a party, oblivious that someone would realize she's a demonic lizard-person in a woman suit and call the cops. A person like this was walking around trusted with caring for the elderly, as if she were a fellow human from the overworld.

http://www.duhaime.org/LawMag/LawArt...ble-Crime.aspx

$10 says OP's colleagues just politely listen and stay out of it because she's told them so much craziness over the years that they realize she's a fuarking loon and want to stay far away from her bad side.

that is just fuking disturbing...not only her but her bf, friend etc,...all lizard people...soulless meatpuppet zombie things in the words of Caeculus

[anonymous]

Honestly I would call her out about her unmoral behaviour, not in a deragotary way but make you point of view clear. If you don't say anything, she will never even remotely reflect if her behaviour is wrong or right. She will probably get offended and label you as a dick, but complying with people acting this way just legitimizes their actions.

[Aristotelian]

Really changed my view on marriage though and that you can just never tell what really goes on inside other people's marriages, no matter how long term they are.

&

Relationships too. Just LOL at social media.

That works both ways. If you necessarily believe that all marriages are fundamentally unhappy even if you see a happy couple at a steakhouse laughing and caressing each other I've got one word for you:

C O P E
O
P
E

[Silencespeaks]

&



That works both ways. If you necessarily believe that all marriages are fundamentally unhappy even if you see a happy couple at a steakhouse laughing and caressing each other I've got one word for you:

C O P E
O
P
E

Nobody said or implied that all marriages are fundamentally unhappy.

You just don't know how they are from looking at the outside. Plus one side can be genuinely happy while unaware the other side is cheating.

But yeah when I see marriages where the husband is rich and travels a lot for work, I do assume that there's a chance he's cheating on business trips.

Just because in that situation the guy will get a lot of offers from beautiful women to cheat and it's very easy to hide cheating when traveling.

So it takes very strong moral character to decline that and many people (not men specifically just people in general) do not have strong morals.

[Silencespeaks]

that is just fuking disturbing...not only her but her bf, friend etc,...all lizard people...soulless meatpuppet zombie things in the words of Caeculus

Lol yeah I remember that post. At first I thought he just meant sociopathic/no morals/no empathy people. But I think he actually means aliens or something even weirder.

[Aristotelian]

Nobody said or implied that all marriages are fundamentally unhappy.

That's why I wrote 'if' - meaning, a conditional. And I was focusing on your statement here where you wrote:

Really changed my view on marriage though and that you can just never tell what really goes on inside other people's marriages, no matter how long term they are.

When you wrote 'no matter how long term they are' you meant 'you cannot necessarily infer happiness in a marriage from the duration of the marriage, no matter how long the marriage has lasted'. And you're right to say that because you cannot infer anything, positive or negative simply from the duration of a marriage or, often, as an external observer.

But my point was that seeing a happy couple out for dinner and having some lurking feeling that there must be unhappiness somewhere there is cope, and it is. Because you can't infer anything either way.

And it seems like we agree here:

You just don't know how they are from looking at the outside.

But then I'll immediately disagree with you here:

Plus one side can be genuinely happy while unaware the other side is cheating.

That is, in no way shape or form, 'genuine happiness'. It is simply ignorance. 'Genuine' happiness requires knowledge of your situation or else you're just a blissful fool.

And on what I said earlier I knew I was inferring a negative undertone in your post, which you get back to in your post now here:

But yeah when I see marriages where the husband is rich and travels a lot for work, I do assume that there's a chance he's cheating on business trips.

You assume the negative. Why not 'There's rich Aristotelian in Brussels and instead of cheating like he easily could he's going to take a taxi to the best eclairs place in Brussels tomorrow so he can take something nice back for his wife who is at home'? I talk to a lot of people about this kind of perception and it is probably derived from your life experience - I think you said before you were cheated on (I may be wrong). I have never been cheated on (to my knowledge) so perhaps that's why I can remain fairly trusting and optimistic.

... in that situation the guy will get a lot of offers from beautiful women to cheat and it's very easy to hide cheating when traveling.

So it takes very strong moral character to decline that and many people (not men specifically just people in general) do not have strong morals.

What actually happens is guys or gals in these situations get bored at some kind of convention or meeting, eyes wander, eyes lock, a calculation ensues, and they either fukk at some point or don't. At some point (and here's the non gendered part) people have had enough great sex that this 'new and exciting' offer of a woman or man dressed up at a conference does nothing when you know that it is your partner that rocks your world. I don't think this is only about ethics, which some people can try to argue don't exist etc., but rather about a kind of maturity in which people who have had a varied and healthy sex life aren't that desperate to cheat while away for a few days...

[menseks]

mind your own bidness pls. it sucks for the dude and i feel for him, but it's none of our business.

[Frank Drebin]

....the husband got close to catching her with guys 1 & 2....

He already knows OP. Mind your business.

[ScottTil]

It would be tough to mind my own business because if I was the husband I would want someone to tell me.
The real red pill is to not get close to your coworkers at all. Don't ask, don't tell.

[Silencespeaks]

That's why I wrote 'if' - meaning, a conditional. And I was focusing on your statement here where you wrote:



When you wrote 'no matter how long term they are' you meant 'you cannot necessarily infer happiness in a marriage from the duration of the marriage, no matter how long the marriage has lasted'. And you're right to say that because you cannot infer anything, positive or negative simply from the duration of a marriage or, often, as an external observer.

But my point was that seeing a happy couple out for dinner and having some lurking feeling that there must be unhappiness somewhere there is cope, and it is. Because you can't infer anything either way.

And it seems like we agree here:



But then I'll immediately disagree with you here:



That is, in no way shape or form, 'genuine happiness'. It is simply ignorance. 'Genuine' happiness requires knowledge of your situation or else you're just a blissful fool.

And on what I said earlier I knew I was inferring a negative undertone in your post, which you get back to in your post now here:



You assume the negative. Why not 'There's rich Aristotelian in Brussels and instead of cheating like he easily could he's going to take a taxi to the best eclairs place in Brussels tomorrow so he can take something nice back for his wife who is at home'? I talk to a lot of people about this kind of perception and it is probably derived from your life experience - I think you said before you were cheated on (I may be wrong). I have never been cheated on (to my knowledge) so perhaps that's why I can remain fairly trusting and optimistic.



What actually happens is guys or gals in these situations get bored at some kind of convention or meeting, eyes wander, eyes lock, a calculation ensues, and they either fukk at some point or don't. At some point (and here's the non gendered part) people have had enough great sex that this 'new and exciting' offer of a woman or man dressed up at a conference does nothing when you know that it is your partner that rocks your world. I don't think this is only about ethics, which some people can try to argue don't exist etc., but rather about a kind of maturity in which people who have had a varied and healthy sex life aren't that desperate to cheat while away for a few days...

Yeah I believe there are happy loyal marriages and that there are people who will not cheat even though they have many options to do so.

You just don't know looking from the outside and you can't assume anything. Maybe they're loyal, maybe not. Maybe they're happy, maybe not.

[BetaAsPhuck]

Well today she told me (and 2 others) that she met a different (3rd guy) the last time on this trip and he has been flying up to our city for a week at a time once per month for the past 10 months. That she is considering having a kid with this guy. The kicker is her husband wanted kids but she was 100% against it, so hearing this is pretty crazy.

I've awared 2 people in the past, and both times I was ignored, and on one occasion I was the scapegoat.

1) The dude I was friends with was rawdogging randoms from nightclubs, and then rawdogging his fiance. (I finally couldn't keep his secret after his GF called me repeatedly to ask if he's cheating, and I was with my GF one day who advised me to tell her after she called again.)

2) The girl who was living with my friend, was out kissing and getting groped by a dude in a nightclub, while he was at home bedridden with the flu. 100% srs. (Dude believed her denial, despite myself and another person going who he had met and got along with, both looking him and his GF in the eyes and saying we saw her kissing another man. We had absolutely nothing to gain from lying, and I had stood with him in tricky situations when we worked security.)

I decided afterwards though that it wasn't worth the hassle... Unless kids are involved.

The fact that she's 'thinking about having a kid' with the dude who she's cheating on her husband, to me is the line. If she does get pregnant, she will probably commit paternity fraud and get her husband to raise another man's kid.

Phuck that! I couldn't look myself in the mirror, knowing that possibility could occur to some dude.

I don't know how you can aware the dude without getting serious blowback, but I would try man.

[BetaAsPhuck]

No, you guys are living in a fantasy world where a 32 year old woman who previously refused to get pregnant consciously chooses to get knocked up by her side piece while the husband doesn’t question a pregnancy out of the blue and other issues don’t arise

I don't know exactly how it went down, but it happened to an old friend of mine.

Dude was living with a woman, had her 2 kids from a previous relationship living with them, they got a mortgage together, and then he found out 3 years later that the baby he thought they had together was someone else's. Someone had awared him that it might not be his kid, so they got a paternity test...

Dude went through deep suicidal depression, and began to self harm (I literally found a razor in his toilet). It took ****ing years for him to regain mental health, he's happy now.

Paternity fraud happens, and happens to guys in long term relationships. And it's a problem that only men are vulnerable to. (Women only have that happen, if the hospital severely phucks up.)

[BetaAsPhuck]

Yeah I think career people traveling for work is a huge opportunity for cheating if they are so inclined. The spouse will likely never find out.

So much so that whenever I hear about a financially successful husband traveling for work, my immediate thought is "he's cheating."

To be honest, I was the person a girl cheated on her live-in boyfriend with. (That was the 1st and last time I would do anything like that, knowingly.)

This was her MO, as far as I could tell...

1) She would only cheat in another city, that was a significant distance away.

2) She would only let men contact her via her single friend's mobile, she would never let direct messages or phone calls take place.

She also liked to get drunk and high, and was so phuckin sexy that when I was with her I practically caught a few people drooling. (No e-brag. 100% srs.)

Red Flags...

1) Sexy.

2) Likes to get drunk and high.

3) Likes to go away with her friends regularly.

IMO miscers are delusional if they think that 'I'm so alpha mcalpha that my partner would never cheat on me'... IMO and IME a person's lifestyle and friends are strong indicators.

[naich]

Culturally enforced monogamy
Find a way to aware the guy then forget about it.

[Luc1fer]

&

That works both ways. If you necessarily believe that all marriages are fundamentally unhappy even if you see a happy couple at a steakhouse laughing and caressing each other I've got one word for you:

C O P E
O
P
E

Calm down bro, all we said was you can't know. Hence, a neutral position. It's natural to assume someone's relationship is great, given you see them happy in public or on social media - so the lesson is not to assume that.

[Mercworx]

mind your own business

Tell the husband. Since she didn’t want to keep her business to herself. She can’t be that stupid right?

At the very least OP let her know you aren’t interested in hearing about this or just get up and walk off anytime this hideous behavior comes up.

[Silencespeaks]

To be honest, I was the person a girl cheated on her live-in boyfriend with. (That was the 1st and last time I would do anything like that, knowingly.)

This was her MO, as far as I could tell...

1) She would only cheat in another city, that was a significant distance away.

2) She would only let men contact her via her single friend's mobile, she would never let direct messages or phone calls take place.

She also liked to get drunk and high, and was so phuckin sexy that when I was with her I practically caught a few people drooling. (No e-brag. 100% srs.)

Red Flags...

1) Sexy.

2) Likes to get drunk and high.

3) Likes to go away with her friends regularly.

IMO miscers are delusional if they think that 'I'm so alpha mcalpha that my partner would never cheat on me'... IMO and IME a person's lifestyle and friends are strong indicators.

Yup I think it's pretty common. Very easy to hide when traveling or even "working late" and if they have a secret phone.

And ultimately if someone wants to cheat you can't control or prevent that. Even the most successful and beautiful people get cheated on like Beyonce, Eva Longoria etc.

[SmackBang77]

Yes, but what if he is the beta that's always so blind in a relationship because he is a beta and forgives her like nothing happens, while you become the chitty coworker ? Not only that she's gonna know, but everybody will. Even if the other coworkers have great morals, they will always think '' that snitch may tell something about me, he can't be my confident''.

What you says sounds ethic, but not realistic. The husband probably knows, he's just too beta, Op shouldn't interfere, it's not his battle.

This

Mind your own business, learn from that Cucks mistakes

Also rip any hope in marriage whenever I see a story like this it ruins what lil hope I had

[northernlights7]

To be honest, I was the person a girl cheated on her live-in boyfriend with. (That was the 1st and last time I would do anything like that, knowingly.)

This was her MO, as far as I could tell...

1) She would only cheat in another city, that was a significant distance away.

2) She would only let men contact her via her single friend's mobile, she would never let direct messages or phone calls take place.

She also liked to get drunk and high, and was so phuckin sexy that when I was with her I practically caught a few people drooling. (No e-brag. 100% srs.)

Red Flags...

1) Sexy.

2) Likes to get drunk and high.

3) Likes to go away with her friends regularly.

IMO miscers are delusional if they think that 'I'm so alpha mcalpha that my partner would never cheat on me'... IMO and IME a person's lifestyle and friends are strong indicators.

Yeah. In my experience, the more opportunities someone chooses to involve themselves in that could lead to extremely easy cheating (going out partying/to clubs and bars/etc. without their significant other, etc.), the more likely they are to do it. It's like constantly putting a nice juicy stead in front of a well trained dog and telling it not to eat the steak when their trainer leaves them alone with it for extended periods of time. At some point, dodge brah WILL eat that steak.

[TonyTriangles]

once in a while you hear about wives getting killed by their husbands. **** like this can push a guy over the edge.....