Reverse diet disaster!! Help please

[sbabss]

Hi Everyone, any advice or help would be much appreciated!!

Current stats: 163cm, 55.8kg

Currently reverse dieting with a coach. In last 2 weeks we have increased cals from averaging 1500/day to now ~1800/day with below macros. I am vegetarian and celioac (gluten free).

Macros currently at 130P/45F/220C.

Workouts consists of:
6x week lifting - 2x legs; 2x chest/triceps; 2x back/biceps
3x week cardio, of easy 3km run
1x hitt of 10min sprints 30secs on, 30secs off

First week on the macros I gained 3.8kgs (w52kg before starting) as which really freaked me out.
My history is previously had anorexia with binge/purge tendencies for 10 years but have been in recovery and weight restored for 1.5years now. Been working out consistently for 2 years now. Focusing more on weights in last year and also running. Before starting this plan with my coach I was running 3-5x week and lifting 4x week.


Really struggling at the moment as workouts are taking 1.5-2hours in the gym each day, which has been tough after a 10-12hr shift at work each day. Also am very worried about my very dramatic weight gain initially. I wanted to start reverse dieting to help improve my metabolism and body comp as I have seen very little result from working out in the gym.

But starting this plan has just made me even more focused and stressed about food, as really struggling to hit my macros daily. Not able to eat food I enjoy, and not able to follow hunger signals ie. even though im hungry after dinner unable to eat anything else as already reached macros.

Also scared that if Im working out this much and still gaining so much weight initially, that if i was to decrease workouts id gain even more weight. Even though 2hrs a day at the gym is feeling unmanageable at the moment being constantly exhausted and resentful before each workout.

Feeling very overwhelmed and hopeless with the process of reverse dieting. I did this to gain more freedom with food and help my body and mind. But at the moment it is doing the opposite. Feeling crap about my body, exhausted, resentful towards workouts and stressed about food.

Does anyone have any advice??? Or similar experiences??
Is there an easier way to do this? Or is there a better way to do my workouts so that I can achieve the same result with workouts but less time?? Or is there an alternative approach to try??

Any help would be so appreciated, because at the moment im miserable.

Thanks

[Mikeez0]

Seek professional help, anorexia nervosa recovery isn't about gained weight.
All your "feelings" and questions are related to your problems with body image/disordered eating.

Have you tried eating like a normal human, not a vegan gluten free?

[sbabss]

Seek professional help, anorexia nervosa recovery isn't about gained weight.
All your "feelings" and questions are related to your problems with body image/disordered eating.

Have you tried eating like a normal human, not a vegan gluten free?

In professional treatment with a treatment team. Well aware recovery is not about weight gain. In a good place mentally with my eating disorder hence why I decided to try reverse dieting and building muscle.

I have celioac disease so I am gluten free by doctors orders, it is not a choice. Have been vegetarian for 11 years for moral reasons so it's not really negotiable either. Hence why I'm asking for help and seeing if anyone else has had similar negative experiences with reverse dieting?

[Tigress84]

Did you only gain on the first week and not on the second? How often do you weigh yourself? What are your goals? You have so much workouts you must have some lofty goals.

[sbabss]

Did you only gain on the first week and not on the second? How often do you weigh yourself? What are your goals? You have so much workouts you must have some lofty goals.

No been consistently gaining weight every week. Now up to 56kg which is a 5kg gain in 4 weeks... very disheartening. Goal was to initially reverse diet to increase my calories and minimise any weight gain while improving my strength.... but the complete opposite has happened...

At the moment im just getting fat and feeling weaker in the gym... current macros are 110P/60F/160C... any recommendations???

[Mikeez0]

No been consistently gaining weight every week. Now up to 56kg which is a 5kg gain in 4 weeks... very disheartening. Goal was to initially reverse diet to increase my calories and minimise any weight gain while improving my strength.... but the complete opposite has happened...

At the moment im just getting fat and feeling weaker in the gym... current macros are 110P/60F/160C... any recommendations???

Stop weighing yourself, your weight gain is water weight, you can't gain so much fat eating like an old sedentary woman. Your problem in feeling weak is due to restriciting yourself from food and mental problems. Eat more and stop carrying about fat, I was happy and proud of myself gaining 1.5kg a week in first months into a real recovery without relapses. So, if you don't want to beat your own disorder, nobody will do it for you.