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Thread: Gym Stalkers

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    Registered User 89ellipsis's Avatar
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    Gym Stalkers

    I figured I’d put this here because this is kind of a female related issue. (I’m sure men experience it to to some extent.) I really can’t be the only one that has had a guy try and give me unwanted attention at my gym. One night he followed me all the way out to my car to try and talk to me. Then I go out and find a note from him wedged in my door.

    I don’t want to switch gyms, but I feel like I have to. My choices are to ignore him (which didn’t work the first time), confront him head on and tell him to leave me alone, or switch gyms. How have you guys handled this type of thing?

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    Tell management. I had a creep at an old gym and management talked to him, decided he was definitely a creep and banned him.

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    what did the note say
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    Originally Posted by chacha15 View Post
    what did the note say
    It said “Hey, it’s me [insert name] I saw you at the gym today but you probably didn’t notice me. Here’s my phone number. Call me anytime you wanna work out. Maybe we could get drinks later. See ya sexy!”

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    Been in the gym over 34 yrs and never had a stalker. Bring it to the attention of management.
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    Tell management privately and just be alert when going to and from your car. Always park in well lit areas as close as possible if at night.

    Being alert and remaining vigilant in that sense will usually make someone think twice. Although it could be innocent but creepy, you just never know. I would treat it as I need to stay in protection mode, but not be afraid to continue doing what I enjoy doing at the place I enjoy doing it.

    Hopefully he gets the hint and backs off.

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    Agree with those saying to tell management. But, if it's a 24/7 gym, it can be hard to really ''manage'' the problem, unless they warn him (by phone, etc), and then deactivate his account if he doesn't comply. But, he could still show up in the parking lot if they ban him from the gym. I'd also consider telling him to leave you be to his face, that you're not interested, and see if that works, before going to management. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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    As a dude, you should first try the civil approach (telling management). If he persists, you should confront him. Yell at him, demean him, etc.

    If I were him i’d feel so emasculated that a woman barked at me like that. I would never talk to you again.

    Bring some heat though (mace, short knife, large human friend) for the next few weeks til’ it cools off.
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    First things first.... have you TOLD him you're not interested? I've been hit on at the gym plenty, but usually a simple "No thanks"/"Not interested"/"I'm married/have a boyfriend" is enough to put an end to it.
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    Wow, never had this happen to me before. I'd confront him about the issue and saying you're not interested, but making sure there's a decent amount of people around you. If he doesn't get the message, then you'd definitely want to let the gym know.
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    Originally Posted by ktyler789 View Post
    As a dude, you should first try the civil approach (telling management). If he persists, you should confront him. Yell at him, demean him, etc.

    If I were him i’d feel so emasculated that a woman barked at me like that. I would never talk to you again.

    Bring some heat though (mace, short knife, large human friend) for the next few weeks til’ it cools off.
    I don't agree with this approach.. I think it underestimates the capabilities of others and who knows how this guys mindset is.

    Here's a fairly recent reminder.. I'm not sure what the follow up was if or when they caught the suspect or if they confirmed he was a gym goer as well, but this is reason enough to not deliberately try and undermine someone.

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/planet-...n-parking-lot/

    That video was difficult to watch when it first made news headlines.

    If this guy is creepy enough to make a female feel stalked, than I'd start with management and let others handle him..

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    Bring it up with management.

    There's a guy at my gym who's been harrassing me for two years. Has been told in no uncertain terms by both myself and several guy friends that I'm not interested. Management is aware and he's been warned, just unfortunately hasn't done anything sufficient to get him kicked out.

    It's very frustrating, and yes, definitely makes one feel less safe.

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    Originally Posted by mavd View Post
    First things first.... have you TOLD him you're not interested? I've been hit on at the gym plenty, but usually a simple "No thanks"/"Not interested"/"I'm married/have a boyfriend" is enough to put an end to it.
    When he followed me to my car and put his hand on my door, I put on my best b*tch voice and said “I HAVE to go NOW. Move your hand before I slam it in the door.” You think he’d get the hint? Apparently not.

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    So an update. I went and talked to the manager, and she said she would call him and take care of it. She took my information said that if I ever needed it, she can have someone escort me from the gym.

    Immediately afterward, I kind of felt regret. Because even if he is banned from the gym, you don’t need a membership to sit in the parking lot. I guess I hope he doesn’t decide to retaliate. This is just a really difficult situation.

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    "you probably didn’t notice me" ... how stupid can some people be?
    But I hope you found the note in your car door, not your home door? If he knows where you live, switching gyms may be not enough
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    Originally Posted by mavd View Post
    First things first.... have you TOLD him you're not interested? I've been hit on at the gym plenty, but usually a simple "No thanks"/"Not interested"/"I'm married/have a boyfriend" is enough to put an end to it.
    This. According to your posts, you haven't just said no. Ignoring him or giving him hints isn't saying no. If he continues after that, then go to management.
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    Originally Posted by mavd View Post
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    Originally Posted by 89ellipsis View Post
    So an update. I went and talked to the manager, and she said she would call him and take care of it. She took my information said that if I ever needed it, she can have someone escort me from the gym.

    Immediately afterward, I kind of felt regret. Because even if he is banned from the gym, you don’t need a membership to sit in the parking lot. I guess I hope he doesn’t decide to retaliate. This is just a really difficult situation.
    No need to feel regret especially when protecting yourself..

    And although he may not need a gym membership to sit in the parking lot, he better have a good reason to be there. Having his note, you telling him face to face and reporting him to management - he's looking at harassment and possible loitering (if on their property) which gym staff can call on him with if he's not shopping or having a real purpose other than to try approaching you. They can also trespass him as well.

    I wouldn't worry so much, just remain alert.
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    Originally Posted by 89ellipsis View Post
    So an update. I went and talked to the manager, and she said she would call him and take care of it. She took my information said that if I ever needed it, she can have someone escort me from the gym.

    Immediately afterward, I kind of felt regret. Because even if he is banned from the gym, you don’t need a membership to sit in the parking lot. I guess I hope he doesn’t decide to retaliate. This is just a really difficult situation.
    Nothing stopping you from still having someone follow you to your car. You see him in the parking lot, you call the cops and get his license number.

    Trust me, no one is going to mind bringing you to your car. It takes 30 seconds. I used to do it for a girl at work when she is used to finish late a night.
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    I’m a straight male and usually it’s the guys who follow me around the entire gym. Most of them don’t even look or dress like they’re gay either, but who knows? Lols. Some just wants to show off their terrible form with heavy weights, some wants to assert dominance or have a one sided competition to boost their ego by one-upping me on my light weight days, some wants to learn what I’m doing but never had they ever said anything to me. But that’s probably because I always have my headphones on.

    The only reason I know they’re following me around is because I see them staring at me from the mirrors and I’ve actually tested these people whenever I think they’re following me. I’ll purposely move to different parts of the gym pretending like I’m going to start a workout and I’ll see them sitting around near me, then I’ll walk all way across to the other side of the gym and within a minute I see them near me again just staring at me. There were only a few occasions that a girl followed me around but it’s usually the dudes who follow me around and I just find it weird because it’s not like I’m the biggest guy there nor am I the strongest either and when they follow me around and never say anything it just makes everything seem so weird and awkward lols.

  21. #21
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    Hate to be political but in this day and age you need HARD EVIDENCE to prove your being harassed. So if you could perhaps swab his mouth with the note you have , some security footage & 7 republican eye witnesses your not going to have a case .... LoL

    Hue hue hue ;-)

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