This is how I see it, it's only guys who need to learn how to get a date, get a gf

[eod8989]

True. But how the hell can you compete with a guy who has a social circle when you have none? Like what can you give to her? This has happened in college before. There was this sloot there who didnt have much friends; her looks were definitely above average so she was a gf material. She considered me for a while but I had like 3 or 4 friends at college and I barely attended to classes so she choose the guy who had a huge social circle, car and rich dad and he frequented beach clubs all the time. When she hooked up with him loneliness problem is fixed and I kept on being single.

Why would a girl choose a guy who has no friends? That is my biggest problem. Apart from that I have a well paying job, a car, and hobbies so I dont sit at home 24/7

Very few girls are into introverted guys with zero friends.i think one of the biggest things women look for in men is do they have close friends or a social circle.

[Sinan09400]

Very few girls are into introverted guys with zero friends.i think one of the biggest things women look for in men is do they have close friends or a social circle.

My aunts ex husband was an introvert (guy died; so rest in peace I liked him) but he knew how to mask it well. Dude had connections almost in every city and country; he even knew several ministers; but inside he wasnt unhappy; so he died from heart attack as a 61 yo.

No idea how he managed it but there are people who can act social when actually they arent.

[Griffindinho]

You're so disconnected from reality. Here are examples of women taking action. if they didn't these articles wouldn't exist. Don't believe me, just go buy any women's magazine. I guarantee you'll find a similar article.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-lov...w-to-meet-men/
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-lov...s-to-meet-men/
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-lov...-days/?slide=1
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-lov...-guys/?slide=1




“the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” - Albert Einstein

they go after chad not average joe

[Malversation]

I'd say that after reading the op and through most of this thread the following:
Women do approach now and then, does it happen often? Nope. But it does happen and I know because I've had a few approach me.

With that being said, men do have to do the majority of the work; you've to be interesting, or funny, or hot, or depending on the girl perhaps all of these things or a combination thereof and yes for the most part you're going to have to get things started.

However, for balance the inverse of this is that women have to be able to make themselves seen as desirable, or in some cases they may even have to initiate to get exactly who they want and to get an actual commitment appears to be a nightmare.

Women do have it easier, but both parties do have to put in at least some work. Personally I recommend just getting over it as things aren't changing no matter how much you want them to, and I'd also consider it as a rite of passage as a man.

[inthox]

women approach all the time, in fact they are the ones who initiate first most of the time but guys are oblivious to the way they do it. its much more subtle and mostly indirect ... majority of women won't come and talk to you, even if they find you hot. period. men have to act upon the signals they get.

theres been an interview - cant remember sauce - asking girls what they would do if they saw their dream guy sitting two tables away drinking coffee. they would give looks etc, but most of them said theyd just let him pass if he left without approaching them.

[Malversation]

women approach all the time, in fact they are the ones who initiate first most of the time but guys are oblivious to the way they do it. its much more subtle and mostly indirect ... majority of women won't come and talk to you, even if they find you hot. period. men have to act upon the signals they get.

theres been an interview - cant remember sauce - asking girls what they would do if they saw their dream guy sitting two tables away drinking coffee. they would give looks etc, but most of them said theyd just let him pass if he left without approaching them.

Yeah, you've to be aware of the signals women give (hair playing, consistent eye contact, etc.) But I wouldn't really count this as approaching but moreso trying to give signals for the other party to approach.

[eod8989]

women approach all the time, in fact they are the ones who initiate first most of the time but guys are oblivious to the way they do it. its much more subtle and mostly indirect ... majority of women won't come and talk to you, even if they find you hot. period. men have to act upon the signals they get.

theres been an interview - cant remember sauce - asking girls what they would do if they saw their dream guy sitting two tables away drinking coffee. they would give looks etc, but most of them said theyd just let him pass if he left without approaching them.

I can tell women get close to me follow me around smile and stare at me but I'm not going to approach a girl at work just because she does that. It isnt approaching

[KaijuHunter]

I fully 100 percent agree with the OP, and yes, it is a double-standard unfortuneately, that if a guy, man, views or feels women have it better or easier in the dating/mating game, he gets labeled as whining or having a victim mentality, but if a woman feels the same way, it's okay, more people will support her, women have larger support networks than men do and society sympathizes with women more than men do for almost everything, I feel that's a big factor, one of the factors, as to why the suicide rate is much higher among men compared to women.

I read these quotes, responses somewhere, and here they are:

"Since you're not a woman, you don't really understand the challenges they face - if we compare ourselves to others we'll paint a picture that makes us the victim, that's a recipe for weakness. Focus on the solutions to your own problems, unless you plan on getting a sex change, it doesn't matter to you whether women have it easier than you or not."

"That may be true, and the women who are encouraged to have a victim mentality in dating end up becoming ridiculously entitled and have toxic relationships. I would tell a woman to shut the **** up and get better if she were making the same complaints you are. If you view the world as a comparison against others, you will always lose, you can't win that game, play a better game, man. The game you can win is improving compared to who you were yesterday. What possible good could thinking about how women/or rich people/better looking people/etc. have it easier than you ever do? What, are you going to become president and enact a law that women have to approach men? NO, you're not. It's easy to complain and blame others for your situation, that's why most people FAIL, it's much harder to focus on what you can control and improve .1% every day You're on the wrong path right now, you're literally being a victim about the fact that you can't play the victim card, how weak is that ****? I sincerely hope you're trolling, if not, you may want to take a hard look in the mirror and consider whether you want to continue to play a game that will always make you feel - and ultimately become - a loser."

I had feelings of violent thoughts towards that guy, because guys like him enforce and perpetuate the unfair, injustice cards men are dealt with in the mating game, of course i'm aware that there is no such thing as fairness, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it.

[pontoonboat]

I don’t know which direction this thread took (and don’t feel like reading through), but are people saying they’d rather women approach them/complaining that they don’t?

Am I the only one who’d feel sort of emasculated if a girl approached me to show interest the same way I’d normally approach them?

I’d prefer women let me do the initial approaching. Otherwise, I’d imagine it just wouldn’t feel natural, idk

[eod8989]

I don’t know which direction this thread took (and don’t feel like reading through), but are people saying they’d rather women approach them/complaining that they don’t?

Am I the only one who’d feel sort of emasculated if a girl approached me to show interest the same way I’d normally approach them?

I’d prefer women let me do the initial approaching. Otherwise, I’d imagine it just wouldn’t feel natural, idk

I've had a lot of women approach me and its pretty weird and uncomfortable but there are other ways they could approach like leave notes or have their friends talk to you. This has also happened quiet a few times.

But yeah a girl straight up approaching is pretty strange and emasculating imo

[BlackScorpio91]

The only women that regularly approach men are not attractive. Point, blank, period.

[DoStuffYouHate]

I don’t know which direction this thread took (and don’t feel like reading through), but are people saying they’d rather women approach them/complaining that they don’t?

Am I the only one who’d feel sort of emasculated if a girl approached me to show interest the same way I’d normally approach them?

I’d prefer women let me do the initial approaching. Otherwise, I’d imagine it just wouldn’t feel natural, idk

Why is it emasculating? Be more specific, why do you prefer doing the approaching?

[otakutrevan]

The only women that regularly approach men are not attractive. Point, blank, period.

this. however good looking women will let chad and jamal know they like them

[bretmarathon]

I've had a lot of women approach me and its pretty weird and uncomfortable but there are other ways they could approach like leave notes or have their friends talk to you. This has also happened quiet a few times.

But yeah a girl straight up approaching is pretty strange and emasculating imo

What if she's older, like over 40, and approaches you in the gym and asks you to spot her squats?

[DoStuffYouHate]

this. however good looking women will let chad and jamal know they like them

Yep but they won't break the ice or initiate conversation first, that's not to say I never approach but I seldomly do it, of course rejection is part of life and part of the game it's what I can't stand the most about it is the way it's done, for example girls letting you have their phone number, but then they don't respond to your texts or flake for the date, happened to me recently and yeah I know many of you are going to say it's probably your vibe or attitude,

one thing for sure is that women can have feelings of resentment towards men but it won't stop men from being attracted to them or pursuing them but if a man has those feelings towards women, he doesn't stand a chance from the start

[DolphinPilot]

The only women that regularly approach men are not attractive. Point, blank, period.

Sort of. I've had good looking women approach but I found out it was because I was her type. As in she is one of those girls that likes a guy X tall with X hairtype and X skin color with X sense of style and she had yet to meet a similar guy.

or something like that. I forget what she told me.

[EctoPlasmic217]

I fully 100 percent agree with the OP, and yes, it is a double-standard unfortuneately, that if a guy, man, views or feels women have it better or easier in the dating/mating game, he gets labeled as whining or having a victim mentality, but if a woman feels the same way, it's okay, more people will support her, women have larger support networks than men do and society sympathizes with women more than men do for almost everything, I feel that's a big factor, one of the factors, as to why the suicide rate is much higher among men compared to women.

I read these quotes, responses somewhere, and here they are:

"Since you're not a woman, you don't really understand the challenges they face - if we compare ourselves to others we'll paint a picture that makes us the victim, that's a recipe for weakness. Focus on the solutions to your own problems, unless you plan on getting a sex change, it doesn't matter to you whether women have it easier than you or not."

"That may be true, and the women who are encouraged to have a victim mentality in dating end up becoming ridiculously entitled and have toxic relationships. I would tell a woman to shut the **** up and get better if she were making the same complaints you are. If you view the world as a comparison against others, you will always lose, you can't win that game, play a better game, man. The game you can win is improving compared to who you were yesterday. What possible good could thinking about how women/or rich people/better looking people/etc. have it easier than you ever do? What, are you going to become president and enact a law that women have to approach men? NO, you're not. It's easy to complain and blame others for your situation, that's why most people FAIL, it's much harder to focus on what you can control and improve .1% every day You're on the wrong path right now, you're literally being a victim about the fact that you can't play the victim card, how weak is that ****? I sincerely hope you're trolling, if not, you may want to take a hard look in the mirror and consider whether you want to continue to play a game that will always make you feel - and ultimately become - a loser."

I had feelings of violent thoughts towards that guy, because guys like him enforce and perpetuate the unfair, injustice cards men are dealt with in the mating game, of course i'm aware that there is no such thing as fairness, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it.

Seriously, why is it wrong to compare yourself to others? Why are people against it?

[pontoonboat]

Why is it emasculating? Be more specific, why do you prefer doing the approaching?

It's emasculating because, since the beginning of humankind, males have been the ones to "do the approaching", so when the roles are switched, it "deprives a man of his male role or identity" (definition of emasculate) as defined by biology/evolution

I prefer doing the approaching because, as stated in my last post, it doesn't feel natural if the roles are switched, which most likely has to do with the explanation above

[BlackScorpio91]

Sort of. I've had good looking women approach but I found out it was because I was her type. As in she is one of those girls that likes a guy X tall with X hairtype and X skin color with X sense of style and she had yet to meet a similar guy.

or something like that. I forget what she told me.

It's not often you get a good looking woman full-blown approaching. Ime, they just let you know they like you through indirect ways but eventually you got to make a move.

Must have been an older woman.

[EctoPlasmic217]

It's emasculating because, since the beginning of humankind, males have been the ones to "do the approaching", so when the roles are switched, it "deprives a man of his male role or identity" (definition of emasculate) as defined by biology/evolution

I prefer doing the approaching because, as stated in my last post, it doesn't feel natural if the roles are switched, which most likely has to do with the explanation above

I don't even think there was approaching back then the way it is today, it must have been easier back then before humans spoke any language, so conversation-skills, social-skills were not needed back then

[eod8989]

Yeah you're not going to have good looking women approaching it just doesnt happen. It's going to be mostly average women or gargoyles who get brave. It's weird because the hottest girls I dated were college athletes and they didn't approach but left numbers on my car. I bet this chit doesnt even happen anymore because of smart phones and social media though.

[KaijuHunter]

but ya he's right, girls don't have to do **** because they are passive in terms of the interaction or socializing with men so I don't see what they have to learn, because obviously c'mon, just simply going out or showing up, simply just being there, that doesn't take any practice or trial and error

[KaijuHunter]

ya, sucks we guys aren't properly trained socially in our formative years on how to navigate the dating scene.

[KaijuHunter]

"We as men are driven biologically and socially to be in control of our lives, decide what we want and take action. Women are wired and conditioned to wait around and let life happen to them. I would ****ing hate to be a woman, hopefully waiting around for things I want to eventually happen. As a man you’re in the driving seat and in control of your results. You want a harem of 10s? Determine what you need to do then go for it. The outcome is inevitable. How is that a bad deal for men?"


Seriously, how the **** do guys have control of the results when we as guys don't get to dictate the outcomes? specifically, how is it that we guys have the power, or we get to do the choosing, while girls get chosen, they make it sound like we guys control every about of the interaction with girls, because you can't force a girl to go on dates with you if she is not interested in you, no ****!!!

[EctoPlasmic217]

"We as men are driven biologically and socially to be in control of our lives, decide what we want and take action. Women are wired and conditioned to wait around and let life happen to them. I would ****ing hate to be a woman, hopefully waiting around for things I want to eventually happen. As a man you’re in the driving seat and in control of your results. You want a harem of 10s? Determine what you need to do then go for it. The outcome is inevitable. How is that a bad deal for men?"


Seriously, how the **** do guys have control of the results when we as guys don't get to dictate the outcomes? specifically, how is it that we guys have the power, or we get to do the choosing, while girls get chosen, they make it sound like we guys control every about of the interaction with girls, because you can't force a girl to go on dates with you if she is not interested in you, no ****!!!

Because too many people are stupid and delusional

[DoStuffYouHate]

Yeah I don't know why people think that, it makes me laugh that why do guys such as Matthew Hussey even exist for women, when simply existing is the only skill women need to know and that's not really a skill, when something that doesn't take any practice or trial and error.

It takes skill building and practice or trial and error or learning on how to become a hunter but not for being a prey.

[EctoPlasmic217]

had to bump this again, but this is how its always been and more than likely always will be, because guys, men, have to know or learn how to: approach, walk up to women and open our mouth, talk to them first or initiate an interaction, lead the interaction, make it flirty, tease, make the conversation interesting, keep it alive, ask her out, plan and set up the dates, call or text first, lead or just take the lead, have leadership behavior or leadership qualities, be confident or have confidence, pass her tests or ****-tests, have a mission or purpose in life, and probably more things or behaviors guys have to know or learn, that either I forgot to mention or just don't know.

Girls, women, just have to be attractive, that doesn't really require any behaviors or social-skills that are verbal on their part, I don't see how they have to learn or know how to get a date when they play a passive role.

[randomuser12345]

Do you really experiencing women giving you signs often? I'm failing to remember a single time strange girl were making eye contact, starting conversation or touching me irl. Never been at clubs or bars tho.

[seaturtle0987]

WHats the point of your post?

[EctoPlasmic217]

Ask the OP not me, he was expressing how his perspective has changed over the years.

It reminds me of this what I saw posted elsewhere:

A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice

"It bothers me a lot when people use the word practice, because for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first."

Never truer words have been said or spoken