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  1. #1
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Need some help with my parents

    Hello to everyone. I've been joining gym for 1,5 years, but my parents were never happy about this...they think that girls that lift become bigger and 'manly'. The fact is that I find myself there and I really enjoy going to the gym, but they don't understand and they say that this is just an enthusiasm and this is not for a girl. One month ago I had a knee injury and I have to wear narthex for 1,5 months. I am telling them that as soon as I can walk , i will join the gym again to work at least my upper body..,but they are laughing. I don't want to have any problems with them ,but it makes me really sad that they don't approve it and they don't see that I really love it. Do you have any suggestions about how can I start again the gym without having any problems with them?

    (I'm 20y.o. , but I leave with them and every time I go to the gym and they see me they tell me ''again..ughh..'' It makes me crazy! )
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  2. #2
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    I'd be thankful if I were your parents. A lot of 20-year-old's are into much worse stuff than going to a gym. Can you talk to them? Maybe they don't understand where you are coming from.
    If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change - Wayne Dyer
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  3. #3
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by myownbestally View Post
    I'd be thankful if I were your parents. A lot of 20-year-old's are into much worse stuff than going to a gym. Can you talk to them? Maybe they don't understand where you are coming from.

    Hah, they know exactly where I go ...or come from. Many times they are somewhere close and they take mε from there when they are bored
    Last edited by Anastasiia7; 02-05-2018 at 11:46 AM.
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  4. #4
    I Lift to Eat yoojungl's Avatar
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    Assuming you're 20 years old, you're old enough to make your own decisions and whether or not your parents support you, if you like it, then continue doing it. Not everyone will be supportive of your dreams or goals, and I'm sure many of us here have gone through a similar situation, but as long it makes you happy, that's all that matters.
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  5. #5
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yoojungl View Post
    Assuming you're 20 years old, you're old enough to make your own decisions and whether or not your parents support you, if you like it, then continue doing it. Not everyone will be supportive of your dreams or goals, and I'm sure many of us here have gone through a similar situation, but as long it makes you happy, that's all that matters.
    You are right and I make my decisions, but I don't like it when they say these things... It doesn't make me feel good when I know that they don't aprove and everyday we have the same conversation.
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    I Lift to Eat yoojungl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Anastasiia7 View Post
    You are right and I make my decisions, but I don't like it when they say these things... It doesn't make me feel good when I know that they don't aprove and everyday we have the same conversation.
    Brush it off, people judge what they don't understand. Pick yourself up and remind yourself that you're doing this for you and no one else stay strong and good luck!!
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  7. #7
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    maybe explain that you dont have the hormones to get big muscles
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    Originally Posted by Anastasiia7 View Post
    Hello to everyone. I've been joining gym for 1,5 years, but my parents were never happy about this...they think that girls that lift become bigger and 'manly'. The fact is that I find myself there and I really enjoy going to the gym, but they don't understand and they say that this is just an enthusiasm and this is not for a girl. One month ago I had a knee injury and I have to wear narthex for 1,5 months. I am telling them that as soon as I can walk , i will join the gym again to work at least my upper body..,but they are laughing. I don't want to have any problems with them ,but it makes me really sad that they don't approve it and they don't see that I really love it.

    (I'm 20y.o. , but I leave with them and every time I go to the gym and they see me they tell me ''again..ughh..'' It makes me crazy! )


    Do you have any suggestions about how can I start again the gym without having any problems with them?
    Yes.

    You're an adult; move out and live on your own.
    No brain, no gain.

    You can't out-train bad nutrition.

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  9. #9
    Registered User hittmanlevi's Avatar
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    Unless they start going with you and enjoy doing it, they will never understand.

    The general public is very uniformed on what lifting actually does to people. Especially when it comes to women lifting weights. They see pro bodybuilders and pro crossfitters and assume this is what happens when a girl does 3x10 of curls, they have no idea that VERY few of those people are natural and MOST are taking LOADS of steroids.

    No one has ever looked like Arnold on accident.



    My wife has dealt with similar comments from her dad, who has recently told her she is bigger now at 25 than she has ever been, which is true but the way he said it was in very condescending way.

    She is 5'4" 120-125, so a dead normal BMI, she powerlifts 3-5 times a week 145/100/180 are her lifts, they started at 95/55/120

    He says these things because in high school she was like 105-115 but SUPER weak, however this is when he was around her every day and she is different from when he knew her.

    Her dad does not get that she likes being strong and having some muscle> being rail thin and weak and he probably never will
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  10. #10
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yoojungl View Post
    Brush it off, people judge what they don't understand. Pick yourself up and remind yourself that you're doing this for you and no one else stay strong and good luck!!
    you are 100% right . Again, this is sad because they are my parents and I want them to support..and not judge me. Than you
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  11. #11
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by davik View Post
    maybe explain that you dont have the hormones to get big muscles
    Because of swimming, I have ''big back'' and when I put some muscle there, they see it as toooo much.. So they don't like it.
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  12. #12
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ironwill2008 View Post
    Yes.

    You're an adult; move out and live on your own.
    I live with them 4-5 months, because they don't work some months and they visit me for those months.
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  13. #13
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hittmanlevi View Post
    Unless they start going with you and enjoy doing it, they will never understand.

    The general public is very uniformed on what lifting actually does to people. Especially when it comes to women lifting weights. They see pro bodybuilders and pro crossfitters and assume this is what happens when a girl does 3x10 of curls, they have no idea that VERY few of those people are natural and MOST are taking LOADS of steroids.

    No one has ever looked like Arnold on accident.



    My wife has dealt with similar comments from her dad, who has recently told her she is bigger now at 25 than she has ever been, which is true but the way he said it was in very condescending way.

    She is 5'4" 120-125, so a dead normal BMI, she powerlifts 3-5 times a week 145/100/180 are her lifts, they started at 95/55/120

    He says these things because in high school she was like 105-115 but SUPER weak, however this is when he was around her every day and she is different from when he knew her.

    Her dad does not get that she likes being strong and having some muscle> being rail thin and weak and he probably never will
    same with me, they say that I am bigger now than I have ever been, even if my BMI is totally normal..Too sad to hear that from parents. ughh Good luck to your wife..
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    Just point out that you think it's healthier than going clubbing and getting drunk with people you barely know and waking up naked at someone else's apartment. Keep tongue firmly in cheek.

    Seriously though, just explain to them that it's just getting exercise. Exercise helps keep us healthy. The are far worse things that you could get into. If you exercise regularly you can get away with eating the occasional slice of cake a lot easier than those who do nothing but watch tv all day.
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    Aside from the fact that you don't live your life for anyone but yourself, I can understand where you're coming from living at home.

    I would jokingly say, well look at the bright side mom and dad.... I'm saving you tons of money on medical bills due to keeping healthy so you can afford your car insurance with Geico. . Haha..

    No but seriously, there's so many individuals in your age range and much younger who are overweight and have hit the obesity standard that is going on. It's a serious crisis and lives are at risk for many reasons due to unhealthy choices.

    Mom won't get it because she maybe sees you being more of a girly girl (as if working out will change that) and dad is jealous because you can probably whoop him in an arm wrestling competition!

    Don't sweat the small stuff. Brush it off your shoulder and smile confidently because working out is healthy and it is what makes you happy.
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  16. #16
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by michaelbrianinc View Post
    Aside from the fact that you don't live your life for anyone but yourself, I can understand where you're coming from living at home.

    I would jokingly say, well look at the bright side mom and dad.... I'm saving you tons of money on medical bills due to keeping healthy so you can afford your car insurance with Geico. . Haha..

    No but seriously, there's so many individuals in your age range and much younger who are overweight and have hit the obesity standard that is going on. It's a serious crisis and lives are at risk for many reasons due to unhealthy choices.

    Mom won't get it because she maybe sees you being more of a girly girl (as if working out will change that) and dad is jealous because you can probably whoop him in an arm wrestling competition!

    Don't sweat the small stuff. Brush it off your shoulder and smile confidently because working out is healthy and it is what makes you happy.
    you are right!!! thank you very much for your support!
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  17. #17
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zjunky View Post
    Just point out that you think it's healthier than going clubbing and getting drunk with people you barely know and waking up naked at someone else's apartment. Keep tongue firmly in cheek.

    Seriously though, just explain to them that it's just getting exercise. Exercise helps keep us healthy. The are far worse things that you could get into. If you exercise regularly you can get away with eating the occasional slice of cake a lot easier than those who do nothing but watch tv all day.
    yeah, you are 100% right!!! hahaa I will totally tell them about the cake
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    Registered User shmobin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by michaelbrianinc View Post
    Aside from the fact that you don't live your life for anyone but yourself....
    Meanwhile still living at home while 20 years old..
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  19. #19
    skeet skeet bang bang skeetzer's Avatar
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    don't listen to them. lol. but if they are saying those things you probably need to go on a cut.
    also workout with perfect form, and always look to improve your form. or else you will get injured and it may NEVER heal properly.

    srs i have a bad shoulder and knee, i really regret lifting without proper form.
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    Originally Posted by shmobin View Post
    Meanwhile still living at home while 20 years old..
    Although she may have "rules" while still under their roof, opinions of how she looks or will end up looking in regards to working out isn't relevant.

    As for still living at home... Everyone's situation is different. No reason to pass judgment on that. At 20 years old that's normal or should be at least. Now if she was 30 something and living at home, than depending on the reason I'd say umm yeah you need to get your things together. .

    I was out of my house at 17 going back and forth and by 19 I was gone. Things don't get easy and they sure as hell weren't easy at that age. Having to pay bills and worry about making a living robbed me plenty times of doing things I wanted to pursue. Time and life does not wait for anyone nor does it care about anyone's plans.
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  21. #21
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by michaelbrianinc View Post
    Although she may have "rules" while still under their roof, opinions of how she looks or will end up looking in regards to working out isn't relevant.

    As for still living at home... Everyone's situation is different. No reason to pass judgment on that. At 20 years old that's normal or should be at least. Now if she was 30 something and living at home, than depending on the reason I'd say umm yeah you need to get your things together. .

    I was out of my house at 17 going back and forth and by 19 I was gone. Things don't get easy and they sure as hell weren't easy at that age. Having to pay bills and worry about making a living robbed me plenty times of doing things I wanted to pursue. Time and life does not wait for anyone nor does it care about anyone's plans.
    You are right... As for me, we live on an island, but I study in a town and my parents prefer bid cities, so they love visiting me for few months... Every situation is different .. I am working during summer and I get good money, but with these money I help them as well..
    thank you for understanding
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  22. #22
    Registered User Anastasiia7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skeetzer View Post
    don't listen to them. lol. but if they are saying those things you probably need to go on a cut.
    also workout with perfect form, and always look to improve your form. or else you will get injured and it may NEVER heal properly.

    srs i have a bad shoulder and knee, i really regret lifting without proper form.
    I know... I am Recovering from my 2nd knee injury...Now ,at the gym ,I try to do everything very carefully with no rush.. Take care
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    Tbh my parents are the same in some aspects. They don’t want me to “get too big”, and they think that the whey protein I have is really really unhealthy and could be life threatening.
    the only thing life threatening in my life is my caffeine intake
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    That myth always makes me laugh, women who say "Ew girl's shouldn't work out, what if you end up being all muscular and manly like those freaky bodybuilder chicks?" as if that's going to happen by accident LMAO.

    Imagine being a man, who's body NATURALLY is more inclined to building that muscle, going to the gym and saying "Damn I hope I don't accidentally become Arnold Schwarzenegger, **** I better be careful and pace myself!" It's totally ridiculous lol.

    Can a woman who weightlifts end up becoming muscular and maybe be called "manly" by some people? Perhaps.
    The odds that you'll reach that level through hard work? It can be difficult even if you the genes for it.
    The odds you'll reach that level by accident when you're just trying to be a bit leaner and healthier? LMAO obviously not likely.

    This is of course obvious to anyone who actually knows anything about weightlifting, and the majority of non-anorexic models and celebrities who people idolize today for ideal female bodies for the most part all do at least SOME KIND of light work with weights on a regular basis to keep that tight+full look they have. This, along with the fact that IG models/twitter honeys on the internet constantly show that some type of weight training in the gym is to be expected to achieving those bodies (though of course we all know that surgery plays a big part of that, but you get my point), should be enough to have dispelled this idiotic myth from the minds of the average person.

    But....as usual....ignorance always wins.

    You can try to convince your parents all you want, but if that's what they believe then let them. When you can't win an argument with logic, the best response is always to just walk away. You'll be the one with the last laugh once the diabetes and heart disease hits in their later years lmao.

    TL;DR: ignore them because that myth is stupid, or just lie and say you're only doing cardio on the treadmill to stay skinny.
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    And also, I'm a guy, and my parents sometimes aren't happy when I spend a large amount of my time lifting (either in the gym or at home). To them it's another form of laziness (LMAO YES I KNOW HOW ILLOGICAL THAT SOUNDS, I ALREADY TRIED EXPLAINING THAT EXERCISE IS THE OPPOSITE OF LAZINESS). They also weren't pleased when I started using creatine, and told them that I don't plan to stop getting bigger until I break 200 pounds (6% bf).

    When I was a skinny weakling who spent all day on the computer, they weren't happy.
    When I'm trying to invest my time and resolve into a healthy and positive pastime to stronger, they aren't happy.

    Sometimes you jus gotta forget about pleasing people and do ya own thang XD try not to sweat it so much. That's jus part of the deal when it comes to having parents haha.
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  26. #26
    Registered User QasimAA's Avatar
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    Sit down with them and have a little discussion on the pros and cons of working out. Assure them that you won't become "manly" and tell them that it is a necessary thing for girls to be fit just as much as it is for guys.
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