Rejected by girl I really liked, hold me misc

[Onyxia]

I usually just lurk around the misc and relationship help. Now in need for some of that help myself.

Few months ago broke up with long term gf because it was just not working anymore. Than about 3 months ago meet this girl in my gym, really attractive. First we just talked a couple of times there.
She seemed really into me, touchy, flirty, she added me on fb and she gave her number to me. we had about 3 dates, the last one being last sunday.
The date was good, she was flirty, talked a lot and we laughed. But after the date she turned cold. Asked her if she was open for another date, to let me know.

Today she sends that even tough she had a great time, she doesn't want to date any further. No reasons whatsoever. I texted back: okay and enjoy your holiday (she currently has a few days off from work) and went NC. (thought it would be decent to send something back without going full beta).

I will still see her around 3 times a week in the gym. I'm not gonna change gym or my gymtimes to avoid her, but I do feel hurt. Was really starting to get the feels for her... Hold me misc. She was a little older than me (4 years), but I thought it was really going well. Caught her looking at me in the gym so many times, every time she started the conversation with me and I even met some of her family.

No idea where I screwed up...

Cliffs:
-Op and long term gf split up
-meets new girl who seems really into him
-have couple of good dates
-today girl says she does not want to take it any further
-Op feels sad

[DolphinPilot]

No worries. In a lot of cases you really can't pinpoint what exactly you did wrong. Some women can go cold in an instant and there is no rhyme or reason to it. I'm sure a lot of the replies will be that she met another guy and that may be, but regardless don't think about it too much.

And good on you for not going to lengths to avoid her. If she doesn't want to see you she can change her schedule. I'm sure if you ignore her enough she will come back up to you at some point. Don't let her pull you in, just stay NC.

[Tuga88]

3 dates...and nothing happened on those dates?

[Coolman468]

You handled it right. If you see her smile and give her a head nod and go about your business. Do not start a conversation or text her. If she starts a conversation go along with it. Doesn't mean that you reach out to her by phone after she started a conversation. You wait for her to do that. And don't worry about why it didn't work out. Doesn't really matter.

[kopikum]

let me guess, you didnt even kiss her, did you?

[Coolman468]

let me guess, you didnt even kiss her, did you?

Nice physique bruh

[JFlakes]

3 dates...and nothing happened on those dates?

This.
Did you make a move? Seems to me she was being flirty and you went full autist and she probably thought you were gay

[Coolman468]

Now that I see the others replies. I didn't even think about it. But yea did you kiss her or make any real moves. Cause if not you folded like a folding chair and she doesn't want a guy without enough confidence to go for what he wants

[wincel]

I usually just lurk around the misc and relationship help. Now in need for some of that help myself.

Few months ago broke up with long term gf because it was just not working anymore. Than about 3 months ago meet this girl in my gym, really attractive. First we just talked a couple of times there.
She seemed really into me, touchy, flirty, she added me on fb and she gave her number to me. we had about 3 dates, the last one being last sunday.
The date was good, she was flirty, talked a lot and we laughed. But after the date she turned cold. Asked her if she was open for another date, to let me know.

Today she sends that even tough she had a great time, she doesn't want to date any further. No reasons whatsoever. I texted back: okay and enjoy your holiday (she currently has a few days off from work) and went NC. (thought it would be decent to send something back without going full beta).

I will still see her around 3 times a week in the gym. I'm not gonna change gym or my gymtimes to avoid her, but I do feel hurt. Was really starting to get the feels for her... Hold me misc. She was a little older than me (4 years), but I thought it was really going well. Caught her looking at me in the gym so many times, every time she started the conversation with me and I even met some of her family.

No idea where I screwed up...

Cliffs:
-Op and long term gf split up
-meets new girl who seems really into him
-have couple of good dates
-today girl says she does not want to take it any further
-Op feels sad

maybe she is getting over someone else or she was slooting

[Onyxia]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

[PhilIvey969]

Believe it or not its probably more likely an age thing. 24 year old man and 28 year old woman are not on the same pattern in my eyes. Most 24 year old guys are still partying/drinking every weekend and are barely starting their careers. Most 28 year old women are looking to settle down. I've never seen the appeal of dating older women esp if your 24. Sometimes it doesn't work out brah on to the next one.

[DolphinPilot]

From my experience if I don't move as quickly as she would like (kissing by X date, in this case) she would really want to know why but would keep pursuing me. She wouldn't just up and leave until she got what she wanted or found out why. So I'm skeptical of what others are saying.

[Coolman468]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

There you go, she did her part in giving you all the hints in the world, but you didn't do your part cause you were a btch about it. She sees that you are not confident. I personally would've tried to fck her on the first date cause why not and it shows that I am willing to go for it. She probably would've let you too cause she started out with very high interest.

[kopikum]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

Dont have dates until you're ready to behave like a man and take the initiative, absolutely no girl in the world likes shy betas who dont have the guts to even kiss her

My n1 rule for dating is: if you like her, KISS HER on the FIRST DATE, no excuses

[BetaBoy4life]

LOl at 3 dates and didn’t even kiss her. She was looking for the d by the third date and you didn’t even kiss her. She either thinks you’re a Virgin, not into her, or gay.

[xHiroko]

- You don't ask a girl if she wants another date + asking her to let you know. It makes your feelings clear to her and it's your role to take the lead, not her's.
- You don't go on the third date when there was no make-outs on the second.
- If a woman turns cold, you're not supposed to care, act like everything is normal, it's a sht test and you failed it.

[JFlakes]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

Lmao is that what women look for on dates? Man, I've been escalating all wrong then

[Tuga88]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

Yep just like I thought. You friendzoned yourself and she moved on to a different guy who isn't such a little bitch. You will be single forever if you don't gain some balls.

[Onyxia]

She wasn't at the gym when I went today (she always went around the same time I do, which is after office hours). Guess that maybe she has changed her gym schedule, I won't change mine though. I know I should've made a move during the date, but after a 4 year relationship my game is a little rusty... Still thanks for all the replies

[ElPrezidente10]

Move on from this girl and game other women.

[AgRyan]

If a girl is initiating touches, it isn't "a move" to touch her back, it's a move to actually kiss her.

Don't change your schedule. Just lift hard, gain more confidence, practice dates with girls you are meh about so when you find girls you're hnnnggg about it ain't no thing.

[sdoo]

Thanks for the replies, no I did not kiss her (i was to shy, I know it's beta). Did make moves in touching her back, teasing etc.
Will just stay NC and hope that over time these feels will fade again, guess I will just feel a little **** the upcoming days

You should have already been fuking her on the 3rd date, got no one to blame but yourself

[Kristinely]

Op you sound like a really nice guy. Don´t change your gymtimes. Be mature and say hi if you see her around. At least she was honest. Not sure why she changed her mind. Hope you didn´t talk about your ex-girlfriend and didn´t give her a vibe like you are not over your ex etc

[hydraides]

Op you sound like a really nice guy.

Loooool coming from a girl, and this is exactly why the girl ghosted OP

[moletissue]

A lot of the advice in this thread is just horrible. It seems as though you braindead meatheads are blending hookup culture with dating for a relationship. The two are separate and not equal.

OP, if you're dating for a relationship you did nothing wrong ie not escalating too quickly, being patient and taking your time to actually get to know the girl. If you were just looking for a hookup, then yes - by date 3 that should happen. Other than that I think you're on the right path OP and disregard all the retard advice on here.

Edit: realized this is a necrobump awefukbye

[caca_man]

Have you broken NC yet? What's the update OP?

[Malvin21]

You did nothing bro. It's just that sometimes we cannot understand them woman. Cheer up you will going to find the girl for you.

[awwchit2]

Bro she’s 4 years older than you.

Also we in 2017

Did she ever text back lol

[jn677]

Girls go cold all the time, there will be a reason but most times you dont get to find out what it is. Just how it is.

That's why you should always try and bang it out on first date, women are so unpredictable.

[Coolman468]

Crazy coming back and seeing this!! Damn I had a gf when this was first posted lol. Long ass time ago.