Where my single parents at?

[tongueinteeth]

Or just people that are no longer with the mother or father of their child.

Sorry if i was wrong to post in this section.

I'm 27, working a dead end good paying job ($50-$80k depending on OT) with good benefits union factory.

Have a 2 and half your old daughter, who i have what feels like too much love for.

The mother of my daughter and i are splitting up (no marriage) after 5 years together.

I love a lot of things about her but she is just miserable and her unhappiness is keeping our family from progressing.

Seems like she wants to maintain a friendship and figure out a co-parenting schedule that varies weekly. No financial support was discussed.


How did you guys go about with the balance of bettering yourself and time with child?

My mental vision is foggy to say the least right now and i'm torn between what my brain is telling me to do and what my heart is.

Likely scenarios are i work mon-fri 7am-3pm and start trying to become an educated professional taking night classes throughout the week. Which takes time away a lot of possible time from my daughter.

Or I continue working my current job where there is hardly any room for growth, and see my daughter who brings me so much joy maybe 5 times a week.

Or I quit this job, take the life savings and take off and satisfy the cliche urge to travel and see more of even just the US.



Anyone have any words of encouragement or can relate to me? I have some issues i think where i feel guilty any time i don't spend with my daughter unless its justifiably allocated.







What a whirlwind. I just tried to cut it down real short and brief.


Sincerely

[weiss1967]

benefits at work means you have pension fund going. If you keep your current job going, it will pay off later in hundreds of $$s monthly, and you will be able to retire years earlier, comfortably. I know it is hard to think about it when you are young, but you should take this into consideration.

Evening/distance education and keeping current job is a sound plan. Although, quite honestly, it will make co-parenting difficult, impossible anything other than occasional movie-and-ice-cream. How about your parents (your daughter's grandma and grandpa)? Can they take some of this pressure off? At 2 1/2 your daughter needs a lot of attention.

What happened at my time, I kept the failed marriage going until my son was 12. Not sure if what I did was the right thing to do though, but it made my overtimes and working two jobs and parenting possible. Also, you two may benefit from the splitting, but the only person who will suffer greatly is your daughter. Think about that. You ever heard of marriage counseling? Try that before you quit on your partner.

Also check with your union, they may be covering marriage counseling expenses and may save you 1000's of $$$ and your marriage.

If you still decide to move apart, one thing I can suggest is to support your ex financially with an easy heart. Even if she does not want to talk or too proud to ask for money, think about your kid, it will make a difference and you will not get rich by saving on child support.

[Fishman15]

Or just people that are no longer with the mother or father of their child.

Sorry if i was wrong to post in this section.

I'm 27, working a dead end good paying job ($50-$80k depending on OT) with good benefits union factory.

Have a 2 and half your old daughter, who i have what feels like too much love for.

The mother of my daughter and i are splitting up (no marriage) after 5 years together.

I love a lot of things about her but she is just miserable and her unhappiness is keeping our family from progressing.

Seems like she wants to maintain a friendship and figure out a co-parenting schedule that varies weekly. No financial support was discussed.


How did you guys go about with the balance of bettering yourself and time with child?

My mental vision is foggy to say the least right now and i'm torn between what my brain is telling me to do and what my heart is.

Likely scenarios are i work mon-fri 7am-3pm and start trying to become an educated professional taking night classes throughout the week. Which takes time away a lot of possible time from my daughter.

Or I continue working my current job where there is hardly any room for growth, and see my daughter who brings me so much joy maybe 5 times a week.

Or I quit this job, take the life savings and take off and satisfy the cliche urge to travel and see more of even just the US.



Anyone have any words of encouragement or can relate to me? I have some issues i think where i feel guilty any time i don't spend with my daughter unless its justifiably allocated.







What a whirlwind. I just tried to cut it down real short and brief.


Sincerely

Your daughter will only be 2 1/2 once. As long as you can financially take care of her I think you should sit tight and gradually take some night classes if you feel you need to. I'm sure you can figure out a time to take the classes while still giving your child plenty of her Dad. You know what's right. Don't make it more complicated than what it is.

[tongueinteeth]

benefits at work means you have pension fund going. If you keep your current job going, it will pay off later in hundreds of $$s monthly, and you will be able to retire years earlier, comfortably. I know it is hard to think about it when you are young, but you should take this into consideration.

Evening/distance education and keeping current job is a sound plan. Although, quite honestly, it will make co-parenting difficult, impossible anything other than occasional movie-and-ice-cream. How about your parents (your daughter's grandma and grandpa)? Can they take some of this pressure off? At 2 1/2 your daughter needs a lot of attention.

What happened at my time, I kept the failed marriage going until my son was 12. Not sure if what I did was the right thing to do though, but it made my overtimes and working two jobs and parenting possible. Also, you two may benefit from the splitting, but the only person who will suffer greatly is your daughter. Think about that. You ever heard of marriage counseling? Try that before you quit on your partner.

Also check with your union, they may be covering marriage counseling expenses and may save you 1000's of $$$ and your marriage.

If you still decide to move apart, one thing I can suggest is to support your ex financially with an easy heart. Even if she does not want to talk or too proud to ask for money, think about your kid, it will make a difference and you will not get rich by saving on child support.

I will check those things mentioned. Good advice. We have seen a legitimate marriage family counselor for one couple session, one individual each and one more couple. The mother of my daughter has made up her mind. That is fine, i just am very attached and concerned with the outcome of my daughter. I teach her every time i'm with her. It's really her mother who is making the decision to alter all three of our paths.

My future ex seems to be more concerned with maintaining a friendship and being able to adjust our schedules weekly to accommodate time with daughter. Her being the primary caretaker. Part of me wants to just give her the finger. We will see. Things change fast and the mother is like a light switch. Next month she could want to work things through and the following she could be trying to get me to pay the mortgage for her and daughter to live in our home without me.

Just hearing other stories is also satisfying. Making me feel like i'm not alone.

Thank you!

Your daughter will only be 2 1/2 once. As long as you can financially take care of her I think you should sit tight and gradually take some night classes if you feel you need to. I'm sure you can figure out a time to take the classes while still giving your child plenty of her Dad. You know what's right. Don't make it more complicated than what it is.

It's really true and every day i feel like she gets bigger, because she actually does. But i also feel like i finally have the time to look at myself and try and get something else going especially a job that isn't a lax union environment where my work ethic can hopefully get me somewhere.

So damn tough and i'm just trying to hear some guidance or things that maybe would have been done differently. Any input i will value.