Mike's Log - Striven to Change

[StrivenMike]

Hello! Welcome to my log!

A Bit of Background
I am a male, 5' 11", 31 years old, married with two little ones and weight 348lbs. I was active as a kid playing multiple sports but I was always larger. Once sports stopped my weight took off steadily. When I got married in 2010 I had dropped my slightly over 300lb self to around 280, had to look a little better for my wedding afterall. I never maintained that and it slowly crept up almost to 350 lbs. I have lost weight and gained it back numerous times in the past few years.
Before Christmas 2015 I was diagnosed with Type2 Diabetes which was a huge hit and wake up call for me. I did really good dieting right after and had gotten from 346 down to under 300. However halfway through the year I started to falter and jumped around in the low 300's.
The past few months had put me into a depressive state due to my health. I had something called Optic Nueritus, which is an inflamation of the optic nerve, it caused my left eye visibility to go to zero. After months of tests and medication to help it, I'm at a point where I still don't know what caused it and my eye sight is only about 80% back to normal. During this time I threw caution to the wind and since I am a depressed eater it brought me to the 348lbs (the highest) I am today. Only recently has it hit me that no matter what I need to change and so I am starting now.

My Goals
My only long term goal is to lose weight. I have set two short term goals for now.
First I want to get to 300 by the end of December. This gives me 15 weeks to accomplish a loss of 48lbs, at a pace of 3.2lbs a week. I assume the first week or two I should have a large loss due to water weight which will shift that average loss rate per week down, so in my eyes it should be an attainable goal.
Second by May I want to be under 275lbs. I'm going off the fact that I will get down to 300 pounds by the end of December. If that is the case it gives me 17 weeks to lose 25lbs., this is about a 1.5lbs per week loss. I assume after my initial weight loss it will be a bit harder to lose the weight for my second goal so I made sure it was a smaller amount to make it something I believe I could actually reach.

The How
My primary means to losing the weight will be by tracking my calorie intake. I will be using MyFitnessPal and I have set my calorie intake at 2000, this is a bit low for myself but if I'm eating healthy I'm almost never hungry at this level and I won't feel bad if a small snack brings me 100 or 200 cals over. I will also be trying my best to cut out any processed carbs and sugar. This means no candy, chips, bread, cookies, pastries, cereal and such. This is mainly to avoid old habits and they typically eat up too many calories and don't leave you feeling full. I will focusing on making clean meals including mostly meats and vegetables with a shake for breakfast.
Secondary for now will be working out. I will start by walking more and making sure I don't sit around as much as I normally do. I want to expand on my exercising but since I haven't done much yet (or really any) I need to read up on a plan and get into a routine for it which might take some time. I will work out at home so I want to focus on body weight and dumbbell moves.

What to Expect
The unexpected! I might not get to post daily but I'll play catchup when that happens. Since I'll be tracking every day I will backtrack on my information on my calorie intake. I will also post weights from every Friday morning. You might find some food porn (once I hit 50 posts...) and just random stuff throughout.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Monday, September 18th, 2017

Macros
C:1445 F:80g Cbs:55g P:149g

Food
Protein Shake
Pork Chops ~ Sausage
Almonds

Supplements
Protein Powder

Exercise
10,456 Steps

Notes
1st day down. Under ate a bit but it was a busy night and missed dinner.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[ON3M4N]

Good luck in your journey. Its a pretty solid group in here and then some who pop in and out from time to time.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

Macros
C:1433 F:69g Cbs:77g P:135g

Food
Protein Shake
Turkey Meatballs, Pasta Sauce, Cheese

Supplements
Protein Powder

Exercise
5,860 Steps

Notes
Ate under calorie goal again, tomorrow is planned out better to hit my calorie limit.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

Macros
C:2633 F:117g Cbs:172g P:231g

Food
Protein Shake
Chicken Breast, Green Beans, Broc****
Chinese Food

Supplements
Protein Powder

Exercise
7,860 Steps

Notes
Failed a bit today and gave into Chinese food.
I had Egg Foo Yung, which besides the high amount of oil they use probably isn't too bad since it's egg and veggies.
But I wanted to go longer before a cheat meal, hopeful that I don't fall into a string of bad decisions.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Thursday, September 21th, 2017

Macros
C:2170 F:79g Cbs:276g P:103g

Food
Protein Bar, Crackers
Grilled Chicken BLT

Supplements
Protein Bar

Exercise
9,340 Steps

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, September 22th, 2017

9/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
9/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Friday, September 22nd, 2017

Macros
Didn't Count C: F:g Cbs:g P:g

Food
Egg Foo Yung
Chicken Fajitas (No Wraps)

Supplements

Exercise
8,870 Steps

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

Macros
Didn't Count C: F:g Cbs:g P:g

Food
Protein Shake
Reuben, Onion Rings

Supplements

Exercise
10,370 Steps

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Sunday, September 24th, 2017

Macros
Didn't Count C: F:g Cbs:g P:g

Food
Pastrami Sub, Lemon Chicken
Skittles

Supplements

Exercise
7,870 Steps

Notes
Not a good weekend. Bad choices were made.
Determined to make the next week a better week.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
September 25th - October 2nd, 2017

Macros
Didn't Count

Food
Too much

Supplements
Meh

Exercise
A little Steps

Notes
Whoa there....
That was a wasted week.
Need to not fall into a pattern of not holding myself accountable again.
To kick my butt into gear I am going to be doing a slightly modified run of RFL.
My modification will see a very slightly higher carb and fat intake, this will be very slight.
I've done it before with really good success.
I need to stick with it no matter what and hold myself to a higher standard.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2017

Macros
C: 794 F: 21g Cbs: 30g P: 123g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Ground Turkey, Taco Seasoning, Salsa, Fat Free Cheese

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk

Exercise
4,250 Steps

Notes
Start of my RFL run.
Bit low on protein but I got caught up with something and didn't eat dinner.
Wednesday is planned out better to be on target.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Wednesday, October 4th, 2017

Macros
C: 1086 F: 32g Cbs: 41g P: 156g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Pork
Eggs, Fat Free Cheese

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk

Exercise
8,552 Steps

Notes
RFL is going good and strong.
Pretty sure my water weight will be gone by Friday.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Thursday, October 5th, 2017

Macros
C: 1050 F: 32g Cbs: 40g P: 160g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Pork
Protein Shake, Almond Milk, Peanut Butter

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk

Exercise
5,896 Steps

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, October 6th, 2017

9/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
9/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
9/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)

Notes
Good bye water weight...
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Friday, October 6th, 2017

Macros
C: 1096 F: 36g Cbs: 15g P: 175g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Tuna, Lite Miracle Whip
Beef Stew

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
N/A Steps

Notes
So far so good.
Friday brought a realization that if I stick to it I will lose the weight.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Started wearing a 2xl shirt today. Oh it doesn't exactly fit and definitely shows my bulges making me look fat (psst... I am). I am doing it for a reason though. It's to remind myself that if I keep going I will fit into these clothes. I used the same strategy at work as well. They were ordering new uniforms and I ordered all my shirts as 2xl. This is all to keep encouraging myself to stick to this so I can fit into 2xl shirts comfortably.

I've had these shirts for a LONG time, my wife bought me a bunch years ago and they were just too small at the time and I just kept them thinking i would fit in them soon (not so much). So the plus side is I have enough new clothes that I won't even need to buy 2xl when I get there. Ironically my son upon seeing me wear the shirt told me how much he liked it, meanwhile all I could think about was how fat I am. Love how he just saw a new shirt and not his obese father who was wearing it.

My diet game is strong right now and I am determined to get to that lower size level both in clothes and body. However I am still anxious, worried and stressed. I think about all the bad choices in my house and how easy it would be to just pick something up, it's hard to avoid this. I feel like I need to totally eliminate them because in the past it was never just one, one would turn into two into three into ten into twenty. I was never able to reset easy after I gave in and I would binge for too long. It brings me to a facet of RFL that I am scared of. I am supposed to have a reasonable free meal once a week. I have avoided that because I am scared to get caught in a spiral of bad choices following it. I feel that I won't be able to avoid it forever since I feel like restricting my diet this much will inevitably make me need a normal meal to avoid feeling starved. That feeling hasn't hit me yet and I just hope it either takes a long time or I have the self control to get back on track when I do have my free meal.

One last thing... Weekends suck. It breaks up my routine which makes it harder for me to avoid crap foods. Whats worse is, the rest of my family is sick this weekend with Hands Foot and Mouth so I have been taking care of them and have been stuck at home not doing much. It makes me think about food all the more and it's probably why I am making this rambling post right now, using this to occupy some free time to avoid the feeling of hunger and delicious yet bad for me foods I could be eating right now.

Thanks for checking out my log!

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Saturday, October 7th, 2017

Macros
C: 2187 F: 102g Cbs: 170g P: 162g

Food
Eggs, Fat Free Cheese, Pepperoni
Protein Shake, Almond Milk, Peanut Butter
Orange Sherbet, Chips

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
N/A Steps

Notes
Blah.
I stayed up late because I finally had some free time to myself and I wound up having some Sherbet and Chips.
I would say I went overboard a bit but calorie wise it wasn't a complete binge.
I'm going to count it as my "free" meal, although this wasn't reasonable.
If I do something like this again in the future I need to limit the amount I have better.
So much for my rant yesterday... lol
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Sunday, October 8th, 2017

Macros
C: 885 F: 38g Cbs: 32g P: 103g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Pizza Rolls (6 of them left over from my kid)....
Chicken Sausage

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
N/A Steps

Notes
Back on track.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Monday, October 9th, 2017

Macros
C: 1051 F: 40g Cbs: 24g P: 155g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Tuna, Lite Miracle Whip
Chicken Sausage, Broc****, Pork Rinds

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
7090 Steps

Notes
I'm excited to be doing so well.
I feel determined and motivated.
Sticking with this!
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Tuesday, October 10th, 2017

Macros
C: 1148 F: 40g Cbs: 29g P: 161g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Chicken Sausage, Broc****, Pork Rinds
Chicken Breast, Broc****

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
13300 Steps

Notes
Good Day.
Tomorrow I am having lunch at work.
I will use it as a cheat meal.
Hopefully it isn't too bad.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Wednesday, October 11th, 2017

Macros
C: ? F: ?g Cbs: ?g P: ?g

Food
Protein Shake, Almond Milk
Chinese Food, Ice Cream Cake

Supplements
IsoPure Protein Powder
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
7966 Steps

Notes
Lunch at work, had a bit more than I should have.
Wasn't hungry for dinner.
Back to normal on Thursday.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Daily Log
Thursday, October 12th, 2017

Macros
Guesstimate C: 1929 F: 92g Cbs: 70g P: 199g

Food
Chicken Breast, Green Beans, Ice Cream Cake
Chicken Wings

Supplements
Biotin, Vitamin, Cal-Mag, EC Stack, Phyllium Husk, Fish Oil

Exercise
6550 Steps

Notes
Ice Cream Cake is going to ruin me... lol
Other than that it wasn't that bad.
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, October 6th, 2017

9/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
9/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
9/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)
10/13/17 - 331lbs (-3.9)

Notes
Thanks for checking out my log.

[StrivenMike]

New Year New Attempt

Back Again

Wow!
I have not been doing well at all.
My eating habits have not been good and I've put on more weight since my last post.
I'm starting again today trying to lose weight.
I know it won't be easy, it never has been, but I have to keep trying.
I'm hopeful this time it lasts longer than a sprint.

I'm going to change up how I post and track for now.
Posts will be more updates than stats and tracking will be more fluid with focusing on portion control and healthier options for snacking.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2017

Changing up my posting style to more streamline my logging as a journal entry.
I just found that I would lose the will to post if I missed a day or so for a daily log.
Hopefully a more journal like process will work out better.

With that said, yesterday was a great restart to my weight loss journey.
I stayed within my metrics and was disciplined with sticking to my meal prep.
Meal prep has always been key to me and I am taking a slightly different approach to it this time than prior attempts.
Before I tried to be super strict, weighed everything and tried like hell to cut out mostly all carbs.
Rather than being super strict and thinking everything needs to weighed out perfectly.
I am now trying to make it a bit easier on myself especially to start out.
I will still weigh things but I am more focused on the quantity it provides and how it effects the meal.
My goal is to rely less on perfection and teach myself what I should/shouldn't be eating and how much is healthy compared to excessive.
Really I want to get used to setting up healthy portions and train myself for when I'm not ~360~ lbs.

The only issue I had yesterday was the feeling of impatience.
I, like most anyone else, just want this process to go faster and that feeling hit me last night.
I know that's not how it works and I need to take it one day at a time but mentally I wish it wasn't true.
I think this was brought on because of my past attempts and failures at sticking to it long enough.
Just need to focus on chipping away at it and realize that it will take quite a bit of time, although not that much in the grand scheme of things.

[chasedaviis]

You can do it man !! Stick with it, and you'll eventually get to where you want to be!!

Good luck !!!

[StrivenMike]

You can do it man !! Stick with it, and you'll eventually get to where you want to be!!

Good luck !!!

Thank you!

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Thursday, January 4th, 2017

I had a doctors appointment for my quarterly diabetes checkup right before Christmas.
I knew I hadn't been good with my diet for most of the year, especially the past few months.
At the appointment the first thing I do is get weighed, I had hit over 360 lbs the heaviest I have ever been.
This woke me the hell up but more so made me a bit depressed.
Depressed because I had failed miserably through the past two years since I was initially diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.
Years before that I was diagnosed with sleep apnea as well.
With both I was told if I lost weight I could probably get rid of them.
It really should have been enough of a health shock to get me going.
And at first I had done really good, I got down to under 300 mid 2016.
I felt great, I was lighter, more energetic, I slept better and I was almost at a point that I needed all new cloths.
But it didn't last I couldn't keep it together, I resorted to all my old behaviors of putting it off after a failure and just going on binges.
The ups and downs since then have been ****ty and with all the motivation I have had I still can't get my act together.
I have a family, wife and kids, my parents have been more than motivational giving me goals with rewards tied to them (money, golf clubs, whatever it might be).
Mentally I just have not been able to get it together for an extended period of time.
I fail over and over and over.

Two days so far.
It's my beginning to hopefully not dieting but changing my lifestyle.
I am stuck at work all day because of the impending snowstorm.
In the past I would have gone out and bought snacks for my stay.
But last night I instead prepped.
I prepped breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Not only those but healthy snacks to round out the whole day.
I got in this morning and there was a lovely coffee crumb cake that a coworker brought in.
I was offered and I politely declined, fully knowing that I had a plan for today and I wanted to stick to it.
This was the first test of my mental willpower and I passed.
I do not want it to be the last time, I will not let it be the last time.
As much as I know I need to change my diet to lose weight.
I also know for me it's more important that I change mentally and break old habits.
Today will be three days.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Hi Mike.
I will check in from time to time.
I started at 320+lbs three years ago.
I've lost as much as 150lbs but felt too week in the 160s and moved back up some.

In the last few months, I've "moved back up" a bit too much so right now I am starting the year with a cut.

Your journey will go up and down.
It will not be a perfect ride.

As long as you learn from your shortcomings, get up again, and keep moving, you will eventually succeed. The more you focus on the longterm, the better for you.

Best of luck to you.
Happy New Year!