Mike's Log - Striven to Change

[StrivenMike]

Hi Mike.
I will check in from time to time.
I started at 320+lbs three years ago.
I've lost as much as 150lbs but felt too week in the 160s and moved back up some.

In the last few months, I've "moved back up" a bit too much so right now I am starting the year with a cut.

Your journey will go up and down.
It will not be a perfect ride.

As long as you learn from your shortcomings, get up again, and keep moving, you will eventually succeed. The more you focus on the longterm, the better for you.

Best of luck to you.
Happy New Year!

Thanks for checking out my thread. Have always been a fan of your journey.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, January 5th, 2017

09/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
09/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
09/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)
10/13/17 - 331lbs (-3.9)
12/22/17 - 363lbs (+32 over two months span)
01/05/18 - 347lbs (-16 two week span)

Notes
Going the right direction again.
Looking to see consistent loses, no matter the amount, from here on out.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Good going!
Keep it up.

[GirthRogers]

Keep going!

What have you done to change your actual lifestyle?
What is a permanent change you made that you can maintain for the rest of your life?

[StrivenMike]

Good going!
Keep it up.

Thank you and I need to keep working on it.

Keep going!

What have you done to change your actual lifestyle?
What is a permanent change you made that you can maintain for the rest of your life?

To start my eating habits is what I am trying to change. So better portion control and better selections. This is what I am working towards.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Tuesday, January 9th, 2017

My weekend was not good, Friday and Saturday being the worst days.
I tried to see if I could limit myself with just eating out for lunch on Friday and it just didn't work out.
I wound up getting into a bad mindset and didn't follow any of my plans.
I need to be more strict for awhile before I try something like that again.

On the bright side I got back on track yesterday and I am continuing with today as well.
Here's to the rest of the week being on track.

[squesto]

You're getting some good momentum, keep going!!

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Journal Entry

Tuesday, January 9th, 2017

My weekend was not good, Friday and Saturday being the worst days.
I tried to see if I could limit myself with just eating out for lunch on Friday and it just didn't work out.
I wound up getting into a bad mindset and didn't follow any of my plans.
I need to be more strict for awhile before I try something like that again.

On the bright side I got back on track yesterday and I am continuing with today as well.
Here's to the rest of the week being on track.

Are you trying to skip meals on purpose?
I do skip meals because of my schedule, but if it were hard for me to do, I’d find a way to eat.

As a general rule, I try to never go hungry for too long. If you do, you often end up eating way more than you’d normally eat at your next meal.

[StrivenMike]

Are you trying to skip meals on purpose?
I do skip meals because of my schedule, but if it were hard for me to do, I’d find a way to eat.

As a general rule, I try to never go hungry for too long. If you do, you often end up eating way more than you’d normally eat at your next meal.

I think my wording was poor. My company was buying us lunch and by limiting I meant just one poor meal. This didn't work as I kept eating like crap for awhile.

I don't normally skip meals unless I get too busy. I try to plan 3 meals for the day around my calorie goals while trying to hit my protein and limit my bad carbs.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Wednesday, January 10th, 2017

Still doing good on the diet front.
I made some chicken sausages last night to put together lunches for today and tomorrow.
Need to keep it together.

My work day for the most part is pretty sedentary.
When I'm being good I'm pushing myself to walk more during the day just to get some more activity.
However we had a customer move out recently and we have been tasked with some demo work.
Nothing like sweating my ass off for most of the day.
I'm just looking at it as helping me shed the weight.
We have a lot of this demo work so my work days for awhile should be pretty active which will be nice.

[AndreSerra]

Journal Entry

Wednesday, January 10th, 2017

Still doing good on the diet front.
I made some chicken sausages last night to put together lunches for today and tomorrow.
Need to keep it together.

My work day for the most part is pretty sedentary.
When I'm being good I'm pushing myself to walk more during the day just to get some more activity.
However we had a customer move out recently and we have been tasked with some demo work.
Nothing like sweating my ass off for most of the day.
I'm just looking at it as helping me shed the weight.
We have a lot of this demo work so my work days for awhile should be pretty active which will be nice.

Hey man, subbed.

I really hope we manage to do this together, helping each other. Congratulations on your weight loss so far!

I noticed the standard deviation of your weelky weigh-ins. The exact same thing happens to me, bro. Even though I keep feeling leaner and less bloated, the scale shows me something bizarre. What I've been doing is tracking my weight with the moving average, so my monday weight is the average of everyday weigh-ins since last tuesday. For me, it reduces my anxiety.

in time: i'm also a depressive eater, or anxious eater... how can we change that? I think that this is key for us.

[StrivenMike]

Hey man, subbed.

I really hope we manage to do this together, helping each other. Congratulations on your weight loss so far!

I noticed the standard deviation of your weelky weigh-ins. The exact same thing happens to me, bro. Even though I keep feeling leaner and less bloated, the scale shows me something bizarre. What I've been doing is tracking my weight with the moving average, so my monday weight is the average of everyday weigh-ins since last tuesday. For me, it reduces my anxiety.

in time: i'm also a depressive eater, or anxious eater... how can we change that? I think that this is key for us.

I look forward to it. I haven't been this motivated in awhile which feels really good.

I try not to look at the scale too much so I wouldn't like an average weight because of that. Usually if it's jumpy it's because I had a bad carb day(s) before I weighed on Friday, I can usually tell if it's water weight or not.

Depressive/Anxious/Bored eating sucks. I don't know how to fix it, I guess most people would tell us to try to replace it with something else. What that something else could or should be that would help those feelings I have no clue...

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, January 12th, 2017

09/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
09/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
09/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)
10/13/17 - 331lbs (-3.9)
12/22/17 - 363lbs (+32 over two months span)
01/05/18 - 347lbs (-16 two week span)
01/12/18 - 344lbs (-3)

Notes
Lost three pounds, I'm happy with that especially after a horrible weekend.
Staying focuses and keeping up with prepping meals, I look forward to the upcoming week.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Good job!
Well done!

[StrivenMike]

Good job!
Well done!

Thank you!

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Friday, January 12th, 2017

After a terrible weekend (more like 4 days), I was pleasantly surprised to lose three pounds this week.
This week has also been an amazing motivator for me.
I work in a data center and the demo work we are doing it quite extensive.
We have been pulling out tons of cable and pipe to redesign the electrical layout of the space.
The best part is all of this stuff is under the floor so it's lots of bending down, climbing between sections, lifting and all sorts of fun stuff.
It's been awhile since I have had to do this much manual labor and it's kicking my butt.
As I look at my co-workers and see that I'm the only one literally sweating my ass off.
My face is red as red can be, which I receive plenty of comments about.
It makes me want to work harder and harder on losing weight.
As the others complain about having to do this kind of work, since they usually have it pretty easy.
I'm over here thinking to myself, if I keep this diet up and work my ass off during this demo phase I'm gonna lose a **** ton of weight.
So I'm eager and energetic (also exhausted from all this work) to work on my weight loss.

I had a bet going with my father for losing weight.
They live in Florida for the winter so we set it up for when they return to Massachusetts come spring.
If he reaches his weight I will buy him a specific gift that he picked out and he would do the same for me.
Now I put myself at a major disadvantage to hit my goal of 275 pounds because I lost control for the two and a half months I wasn't posting.
I have until the end of May to do that but I'm feeling it's unrealistic.
Unrealistic because I would need to average 3.45 pounds a week and I'm realizing I'm just setting the bar too high for myself trying to obtain that.
A bit more realistic, I think at least, is a three pounds per week average.
This would put me at 285 by the end of our bet.
Do I think I will make that and keep up that average?
I honestly don't care right now, I really just want to keep progressing at this point in time.
The closer I get to 275, no matter when it happens, the better.
Right now I am just happy I'm still on the right track and I know I need to work on it all the time since it's not the norm for me yet.

Thanks for checking out my journal.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Wednesday, January 17th, 2017

Lets get caught up a bit.
Friday good, Saturday bad, Sunday bad, Monday bad.....
My weekends are killing me.
Mentally I am just out of whack when it comes to the weekend.
I'm going to keep trying different things until I find a good way for me to get through the weekend.
I'm thinking tonight I'm going to prep some meals for the weekend.
I will also have some snacks set aside that I can take with me if we go out.
I think if I set everything up for multiple different situations it will probably work out better.

Tuesday being back to work started me off on eating correctly again.
I find the work day and the routine is just far easier to stick with eating healthy.
I am also still working my ass off at work.
These coupled together I'm hoping I can make up for my bad weekend and then some.
It's just a shame because I can see just how much potential loss I could have if I kept it up for the week.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, January 19th, 2017

09/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
09/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
09/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)
10/13/17 - 331lbs (-3.9)
12/22/17 - 363lbs (+32 over two months span)
01/05/18 - 347lbs (-16 two week span)
01/12/18 - 344lbs (-3)
01/19/18 - 342lbs (-2)

Notes
A loss is good, so I'm happy with that.
Would be much better if I can get a handle on my weekends.

[NoCarbsNoSugar]

Friday good, Saturday bad, Sunday bad, Monday bad.....

Tuesday being back to work started me off on eating correctly again.
I find the work day and the routine is just far easier to stick with eating healthy.

Reading your post above, what exactly does “good”, “bad” and “eating healthy” mean to you?

Just curious.

[StrivenMike]

Reading your post above, what exactly does “good”, “bad” and “eating healthy” mean to you?

Just curious.

Good is staying within my Calorie limits while also eating healthy foods. Healthy foods being meat, veggies, fruit, water and the unhealthy being candy, cookies, bread, sweets, soda and such. High Protein, Low Carb, Moderate Fat. So bad is a cumulative of the unhealthy food choices above and usually coupled with poor portion control and over eating.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Monday, January 22nd, 2018

First off I just realized my past posts still had 2017 for the year, that's pretty amazing.

So the past weekend was much better than prior weekends.
My Friday and Saturday were both really good.
Friday I stuck with prepped food which is planned to meet my Cal and Macro limits.
Saturday I wound up waking up late and made a nice four egg omelette with cheese and pepperoni.
Unfortunately we went to a birthday party that had no food for me to eat other than some veggies and I forgot to bring anything myself.
So I choose not to have any of the pizza or chips and was waiting to go home to eat dinner however by the time we got home it was so late I didn't wind up eating.
This left me WAY under for Saturday but I was happy with myself for not breaking down and eating junk.
My Sunday wasn't that good but it was totally by choice and I have no issues with it.
I had made some nachos, some other stuff and had dessert for the football games on Sunday.
I'm totally OK with that since the rest of the weekend was fine and I consciously made the decision knowing that it was just one afternoon.
Now It's Monday and I'm back to eating prepped meals and I'm looking forward to Friday when I weigh myself again.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018

Crazy morning today.
Was a bit of black ice out this morning.
My town did a pretty good job treating roads but surrounding towns didn't do as well.
http://www.wcvb.com/article/video-bu...treet/15853162
This was from the town next to me and it wasn't the only accident involving a bus around me.
The police in that town and in another next to me wound up shutting the buses down and ordered them to park on the side of the road until it was safe.
Luckily no one was hurt, I made it to work fine and my kids had no issues getting to school in my town.

Now back to the good stuff.
Had a really good day yesterday, I had forgotten breakfast but brought lunch.
Lunch was Cubed Chicken Breast baked with some oil and lower carb BBQ sauce with Broc****!
I only use a little bit of BBQ sauce just to give it a bit of flavor, in the past I probably would have dipped it as well and would have had WAY to much of it.
For dinner I had snacked on carrots while I cooked for the kids and I had some hard boiled eggs.
I was still a bit hungry so I had some deli turkey breast by itself to fill me up.
Was probably a bit on the low end for cals but after my excess on Sunday I wasn't very hungry.

So far today I prepped a nice shake for breakfast and I have my chicken dish for lunch again today.
My wife is making pulled pork for dinner tonight and I'm not sure if I will have it or something else.
She tends to use a BBQ sauce that has more carbs than I would like in it and my shake this morning was a bit carb heavy.
I might save it for the rest of the week and have lower carb shakes to balance it out.
If I don't eat it I will probably have eggs or tuna for dinner.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Thursday, January 25th, 2018

Good morning everyone.

On Tuesday I posted about my prepped meals and my plans for dinner.
This didn't work out as well as I hoped and I wound up eating junk that night.
Yesterday I kinda kicked myself in the butt for that.
I didn't eat much at all and what I did eat was mostly clean protein.
It was in my best effort to makeup for my lapse from the night before.

I used to be overly anxious to post about my mistakes and would never own up to them on here or anywhere else.
I always thought about how I would be judged and that people would just be ashamed of me.
Yes, I know that this is anonymous but the way I mentally am I just could never bring myself to post my mistakes.
What I realize now more than I ever have before is that it was a terrible mistake to do that.
In hiding from making my mistakes public I also lost my grip on dieting in the process and would get stuck in the "whats one more bad choice" loophole.
This would lead to me not tracking, posting and following my weight loss plan.
Spiraling out of control until I had gained too much weight back.
I have learned that I need to put it out there and since doing so I have been more accountable in the days after a mistake.
Part of it is to prove I can keep with it even after a mistake.
Another part of it is because I want to come on here, and even though I messed up I am fighting to make up for it, and post a weightless on Friday.
It has been a few weeks since I have been back at this and honestly I have messed up at some point every week.
But for each mistake I've made I have fought back and have lost weight every single one of those weeks.
I attribute that to being more accountable with my actions on here and wanting to prove I can do it.

Last night my wife made pulled pork.
We use a lean tenderloin for our pulled pork, so it's not as bad for you as say a pork butt.
I used this to prep meals for my wife and I.
I had mentioned in my last post that my wife tends to use BBQ sauce that's more carb heavy than I would like.
Thankfully I was afforded the opportunity to split the meat up before hand so I used my own sauce while she used hers.
I will be having that for lunch today and tomorrow along with some cheese and broc****.
In total it's only 340 Calories, 40g Protein, 26g Fat and 18g Carbs.
A bit low in calories but not a bad meal.
I already had a protein shake for breakfast and will have some chicken sausages for dinner tonight.

Tomorrow will be a weigh in day.
Based on my teaser check today I will lose something but probably not as much as I would have liked.
I'll chalk that up to my lapse in dieting.
I really need to work on that more and more as I keep this up.

[StrivenMike]

Weekly Weigh-In
Friday, January 26th, 2017

09/15/17 - 348lbs (SW)
09/22/17 - 343lbs (-5)
09/29/17 - 348lbs (+5)
10/06/17 - 334.9lbs (-13.1)
10/13/17 - 331lbs (-3.9)
12/22/17 - 363lbs (+32 over two months span)
01/05/18 - 347lbs (-16 two week span)
01/12/18 - 344lbs (-3)
01/19/18 - 342lbs (-2)
01/26/18 - 338lbs (-4)

Notes
Super happy with the 4 pound loss.
Just need to keep it going now.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Wednesday, January 31st, 2018

So I went right back to bad weekends.
Completely my fault and I know it.
I am back on track now and need to kick my butt in gear.
If anyone wanted to follow me on MFP your more than welcome too.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profile/strivenmike

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Monday, March 12th, 2018

Alrighty, three millionth times the charm....

Really fed up with myself and feeling like I can't do this.
I really need to change, I feel absolutely disgusting right now.
Just moving around and **** I can tell I'm fat as a house.
Never felt this bad and it's really getting to me.

Going to take this week to get into a rhythm of eating healthy, proportionally and tracking again.
Starting the week out liquid heavy with protein shakes for breakfast and lunch.
Dinner will be whole foods and focused on keeping the proportion size small and not over doing it.
Just say NO is going to be my mantra for snacks.
Need to be strict with myself and avoid any special treats.
I'm going to keep track and post weekly updates on my intake on Fridays.

I know I'm 350+ right now since my scale only reads up to 350.
That's pretty horrible.
I really want to get down quickly so I feel more comfortable again.
Once I do that I will be ok with a slower loss rate but for now the goal is quick fat loss.
So my calories will be pretty low and I will be focusing on a lower carb diet.
Not Keto low but just high enough to fit some fruit into my daily macros.
I will start weighing myself everyday once I am under 350 and post my results on Fridays.

And so it begins this morning, the start of me not being fat anymore.

[cherrygarcia80]

Journal Entry

Monday, March 12th, 2018

Alrighty, three millionth times the charm....

Really fed up with myself and feeling like I can't do this.
I really need to change, I feel absolutely disgusting right now.
Just moving around and **** I can tell I'm fat as a house.
Never felt this bad and it's really getting to me.

Going to take this week to get into a rhythm of eating healthy, proportionally and tracking again.
Starting the week out liquid heavy with protein shakes for breakfast and lunch.
Dinner will be whole foods and focused on keeping the proportion size small and not over doing it.
Just say NO is going to be my mantra for snacks.
Need to be strict with myself and avoid any special treats.
I'm going to keep track and post weekly updates on my intake on Fridays.

I know I'm 350+ right now since my scale only reads up to 350.
That's pretty horrible.
I really want to get down quickly so I feel more comfortable again.
Once I do that I will be ok with a slower loss rate but for now the goal is quick fat loss.
So my calories will be pretty low and I will be focusing on a lower carb diet.
Not Keto low but just high enough to fit some fruit into my daily macros.
I will start weighing myself everyday once I am under 350 and post my results on Fridays.

And so it begins this morning, the start of me not being fat anymore.

I wish you all the best on your journey. I know it's difficult to do but try not to beat yourself up about it, we are all human and we all fail, what matters is that even if you keep falling you keep trying to get up to fight this thing, just don't give up on the fight. I started at 378 pounds and now at 250 (i was lower but have had regain recently which i'm trying to work on).....but i know what life is like above 350 and i'd tried every diet known to man and failed at them all, luckily for me i found the one that i could stick to (keto in *my* case) and was sustainable and have managed to keep on it ever since. Not that i'm advocating for it or pushing it as better than any other diet because at the end of the day eating at a deficit is all that matters to lose weight, and so whichever diet you pick as long as it's at a deficit you'll lose. In my case keto worked because I was a sugar/carb addict and as long as carbs were in my life I had to binge on them and just kept gaining....then when i got rid of them is when i started losing weight for the first time in my life.

I'd highly recommend starting at a small deficit so that you are eating more food even if it means losing at a slower rate than you would like, the benefit of that is that it would be sustainable weightloss that you can lose and actually keep off. Because usually with lower calorie diets the body can only take so much before the binge monster checks in and before you know it you'll be back at square one or worse. I am not telling you how you should do your programme as it's your choice but just giving my personal experience of what finally worked.

With that said i want to wish you all the best on your journey, if you mess up one meal don't thereafter say that all is lost and mess up meals for the rest of the day, just try and do better in your next meal. Also take things one day at a time, rather than saying you have x amount to lose, just keep small goals of 5 to 10 pounds at a time and celebrate those mini victories (with things other than food). And take things one day at a time, tell yourself that just for today that I will eat right, ....and little by little those days will add up and before you know it the progress will help keep you going.

Finally logging here also really helped me because people in the real world (even family and friends) had no idea what struggles i'd had my entire life with weight and food, they just couldn't relate and they couldn't understand why i couldn't just "eat a salad" like the rest of them....so i used my fat loss log as an avenue not just to log my food and activity but to log my emotions, i'd write out all things that had angered or frustrated me that day and it felt good to let it all out because then it was easier to move on from it rather than harbour things inside me alone. I lost alot of weight and figured i didn't need to log anymore, but then i started to isolate and emotionally eat and hence how i've regained about 30pounds back which i'm trying to lose. So i'm also trying to get back to logging because everyone on here (in the fat loss log section) was always so encouraging, it became an accountability system to myself and also to others and it helped me to see that I wasn't alone in the struggle, that others were going through the same journey and struggles as me...and to know that I wasn't walking alone but with others hand in hand trying to fight this beast once and for all.

All the best, you can do this!!!

[StrivenMike]

All the best, you can do this!!!

Thank you Cherry. You got me thinking about a few things, mainly how my bad relationship with food started.

It's weird looking back and thinking about when I really started to lose control with food. I was probably around 7 years old and I had used food as a coping method. It just got out of control since then and my food issues have evolved. I don't really eat to cope anymore it's now more of a habit, a lack of control, a feeling of hunger and never really being satisfied/full, but it all stems from that young age. So to say I've had a bad relationship with food for some 25 years really puts it into perspective. Not only am I trying to lose weight but it's also trying to correct and change that 25 years of bad food habits. It actually makes it even more daunting just thinking of it this way. I mean what chance do I have of changing the habits I have built for soooo many years?

On Tuesday I was showing a co-worker some pictures of my house from 2009. My house was a dump when I bought it, a decent sized fixer upper but it was what I could afford at the time. I had essentially gutted most of the house to fix it up. I saw a picture of myself working on the house and was instantly depressed. I was still overweight but I was in much better shape than I am now.



I was probably around 290 in that picture and currently I am 350+. I was working on the house and I was getting married the next year so I was being more careful. I had gotten down to around 275 for my wedding. It's been a S show since then, ha.... ha.... I then got mad at myself for not keeping up with it then. That anger has moved onto a desire to set myself straight and start losing weight.

So I'm going to kick my butt into gear. I had done a round of RFL two years ago with really good success and I am going to do one now. I know I didn't keep that weight off but that wasn't an issue with RFL it was an issue of giving up/being stupid a few months after. I started the food portion of it today. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment so I will get an accurate weight down for my start and go full blast into it. I'll post how my progress is, along with any struggles and issues I have.

Issue #1! I know already an issue.... Just got an email awhile writing this that my company is buying lunch today. I'll join in but I will eat what I brought, Chicken with Broc****! This will be my first test of many but I have to stay true to myself and not cheat.

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Monday, March 26th, 2018

Last week on Friday I had a doctors appointment.
I weighed in at 358, it's not my highest but it's close.
I started eating decent again and have gotten more used to it.
Rather than drastically restricting myself after not having any control, I used the past few days to get used to a normal diet.
Now I'm starting today to go RFL to kick start myself into losing weight.
I've done it before and it's really not that bad.
Just need to be start about coming off of it and plan it wisely.

Once I break the 350 mark I will do daily morning weigh-ins.
My Friday weight log will be a weekly weight avg and give some info on my nutritional intake.
I look forward to kicking my own butt with this .

[StrivenMike]

Journal Entry

Tuesday, March 27th, 2018

Yesterday was a good start to getting to a restrictive RFL diet.
I am still a bit over on fat and carbs.
They are low but higher than RFL calls for.
I realize that on my last shopping trip I didn't get everything I need for this diet.
So I'm gonna take it in stride and I'll be ok with kicking this off slightly higher on carb and fat intake.
Next week I'll buy the few things I forgot and will drop it down even more.

My meal plan today is all set up.
I had a protein shake this morning and I brought chicken and broc**** for lunch.
I am making turkey tacos tonight for the kids.
I will use the meat and just mix it with some cheese and salsa for my dinner.
This will get me right to too my protein goal but as mentioned before will be a tad higher than it should be for carbs and fat.